Simply Devine
by Aphina
Summary: After getting caught in the blast along with Flack and Mac, the story follows new CSI Carmen Devine through some of the events of the 2nd series with some startling revelations for some of the chars.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning of The End

Chapter One

_Brothers lie in shallow graves,_

_Fathers lost without a trace_

_And I see no bravery, no bravery_

_In your eyes, anymore, only sadness._

_James Blunt - No Bravery._

"Carmen? Carmen? I need you stay with me." I tilted my head up coughing to find myself staring into sombre face of Mac Taylor. I found my back pressed against small mountain of debris. I looked around dazed at our surroundings. Lose electric wires hung from different places in the ceiling, sparking as they touched. A mix of plaster, wood and metal coated the ground. As far as I could see there was no exit only rubble, and varying degrees of it. Mac was crouched on his heels in front of me. I tried to open my mouth, to speak, but no sound came out, the roaring in my ears drowning out his voice as he spoke again. I shook my head trying to clear it. I lifted my hands staring at them as they began to shake. Mac's hands were on my arms; my eyes were on his face again, catching his words.

"Hey, stay with me, your going into shock, Carmen, I need you stay with me." I nodded, grinding my teeth together to calm the shaking. Mac's gaze was strong and overpowering as he began to talk again.

"Are you hurt?" That was when I realized that my whole entire body was numb, I could feel nothing, also realized that the roaring in my ears had gone and I could hear Mac's words clearly.

"The roaring's stopped." I said bluntly, I bent over putting my face in my hand and then raking my hair with them, somewhere in the explosion my long auburn curls had come loose.

"Ok…I'm back." I said pulling through the daze; I glanced around us seeing no sign of our partner.

"Where's Flack?" I asked suddenly afraid of Mac was going to say. Mac turned his head, and scanned the wreckage as I did.

"I don't know, but we need to find him." I blinked momentarily, suddenly remembering how'd we'd ended up in this situation. A bomb… Flack was shouting… I couldn't hear him… I was slipping away, and then darkness. A whole lot of darkness.

"I think you hit your head on the way down." Mac told me climbing to his feet, and glancing around the remnants of building around us. I also rose to my feet, my hand going to the side of my head. It was sticky, I pulled my hand away staring at it…Blood, not to much, but enough to temporary faze me. I let out a sigh shaking off the fear that was rising in my chest. We needed to find Flack. I cleared my throat.

"He was in front of me when the blast hit." I told Mac, snippets of memory returning to me. Mac scanned the wreckage.

"You look over there, and I'll take here, he's got be in this area." Mac murmured the last part of the sentence, pulling back a ceiling tile. I followed suit starting my own search in my designated area.

"Flack?" I called as I tore away a sheet of metal from what I guessed had been a photocopier, which would explain the blue ink that covered the ground around us. I let out a tiny cry as I threw the metal away from me, a splash of blood following it. My eyes went to the gash in the palm of my hand.

"Be more careful next time. One wrong move could bring the place down on top of us." Mac growled at me. I nodded wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand; it was really beginning to heat up in here. Following the path of a solid piece of wood in front of me, I decided to move it. Carefully I put my shoulder underneath it pushing the huge wooden beam to the right. Something groaned behind it. My heart beat sped up.

"Don?" I called. There was a tiny moan of what I could only guess was pain.

"Mac! I think I've found him! I can't get this beam out of the way, I need help." Between us we both managed to move the beam into a leaning position against some rubble.

I threw myself forward as I saw Flack's pale face etched in pain from beyond a jagged metal sheet. I reached forward, yanking it back away from Flack's body.

"Carmen wait…" Mac's voice trailed off as all the air rushed out of my lungs. The gaping hole in Flack's chest stopped me in my tracks. I found myself fixated on it; nausea rolled my stomach as I realized that I was staring at the vivid insides of Flack's chest. I could see his heart beating, the blood flowing into his chest cavity. I was rooted to the spot unable to tear myself away. Mac was there by his side automatically, rolling his sleeves up to the elbow. I couldn't move, I couldn't breath, couldn't think. Mac's gaze swept up towards me, his eyes met mine.

"Carmen I need you here." The seriousness in his tone snapped me into action forcing the police officer in me to react.

"What do you need?" I said dropping to my knees on the other side of Flack, rolling the sleeves of my own white shirt upwards. Mac's eyes scanned the area surrounding us.

"Just keep him calm for the moment." He told me, "Let him know we're here, I think I spotted some bottled water over there." I nodded in response, finding Flack's hand I gripped it tightly, looking at his face instead of his chest.

"Hey Don, we're here." Don's head lolled towards me, his eyes focusing on me. Vibrant blue and very much alive, I spent the next few seconds thanking God.

"Can you hear me?" I asked, Flack managed a tiny nod. This was bad; I could see him losing blood quickly.

"Good man." I reassured him, my eyes flitting back to Mac as he returned armed with a bottle of water. My attention was drawn back to Flack's face as his breathing became ragged and more erratic; It took me a second to realize he was trying desperately to speak. I pushed away the tears that had begun to well in my eyes.

"Shh…Don't try and talk, save your strength." I said softly, keeping his hand clasped firmly in mine. Don's eyes began to dull I saw them flickered closed. I turned my head panicking to Mac, who was now crouched down next to Flack rinsing his hands in water, he pushed the bottle towards me, I released Flack's hand taking it urgently and doing the same.

"I need your shoe lace." He said, dipping his hand into Flack's chest and pinching the artery closed with his fore finger and thumb. I shook my head.

"Zip up." I declared referring to my boots.

"Get it off mine." Mac said, I reached forward untying the lace as quickly as I could.

"Hurry. He's bleeding out." Mac stated calmly, I gave a final tug, tearing the shoe lace form Mac's shoe and handing it to him.

"I need you to hold it." he said , I found myself staring into Flack's chest cavity. I hesitated.

"Carmen, he needs me to do this now." Mac was yelling now. I plunged my hand into his chest, seizing the artery following Mac's example. My fingers almost slipped as I grasped it as tightly as I could.

"Your doing great Carmen, just hold it there." I cringed at Mac's words. I was not doing great…Flack could of died because I wasn't responding fast enough. I steeled myself against the array of feelings that were surrounding my hand, and concentrated on the knot that Mac was tying with the shoelace around the artery. I watched as the blood flow became a trickle instead of a gushing river. Mac pulled his hands out of Flack's chest, rinsing them with some of the left over water.

"You can let go now." I shivered pulling my hands away from the wound and wiping them on my shirt.

"You worked well Carmen, I'm proud of you." Mac told me checking Flack's pulse. A swell of guilt rose in me, pushing away the pride I knew should occupy the space. I slipped back off my knees into a sitting position, taking deep breaths and fighting the vomit that was rising in my throat. Quickly I was on my feet and moving away from Flack as fast I could. My stomach lurched again as I leaned against the wooden beam we'd previously moved for support. The sickness got the better of me as I bent over, hurling my guts into the gap between it and some more of the rubble. I took a deep breath, sensing Mac behind me, before he reached out rubbing my back soothingly. I tilted my head forward waiting in case there was more to come out.

"Don't worry about it, I'm surprised you didn't throw up earlier." He told me as I straightened; he was standing next to Don now, peeling off his shirt. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand.

"How did you know what to do?" I asked curious. Mac tore a strip off his shirt, and then another.

"I've lived this moment before." He said concentrating on his task at hand. I frowned, surveying the knowledge I knew about Mac, and then suddenly it clicked.

"From your marine days?" Mac merely nodded, I decided not to push it. I looked around at the hole in the ceiling above us.

"You think their going to find us?" I asked studying Flack's breathing, on each out breath I found myself panicking until he took another one in.

"You better start making some noise, pick up that plank there, and start banging on the walls, if we get lucky maybe they'll find us." I closed my eyes for a second before following Mac's orders. From time to time I caught myself watching Mac take care of Flack and wondering how he knew what to do…His words came back to haunt me. He'd lived this moment before. Something moved in the debris next t me causing me to start.

"Mac, you in there?" The broad New Yorker accent called through the gaps in the debris.

"Danny!" There was more rustling. A piece of wood was torn away from the rubble in front of me, revealing the alarmed face of Danny Messer.

"Carmen?" he frowned, surprised to see me. I wasn't even supposed to be working today.

"Are Mac and don in there with you?" he asked peering at me through the debris. He coughed into the back of his hand as a piece of plaster fell exploding right in front of him.

"Flack's hurt though, it's really bad, we need rescue down here immediately." Danny nodded calling it in.

"What about you and Mac?" he asked.

"We can wait until we get to a medical pint, but Flack can't, it's bad Danny really bad." Danny let out a deep breath backing off and surveying the mixed wreckage before him.

"Hang in there, we'll get you out." He continued to reassure me as him and the other members of the rescue team began to dismantle the mess before them.


	2. Chapter 2: Circumstance

Chapter Two

_I'm so tired of being here._

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish you would just leave_

_Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone._

_These wounds won't seem to heal, _

_This pain is just too real _

_There's just too much that time can not erase._

_Evanescence – My Immortal_

Two Months Before

"I hear New York's nice this time of year." I said dumping the final remnants of my life into the small black and white chequered suitcase that I was going to take on the plane with me.

"So that's it? You're leaving? No real plan, no nothing, you're just moving out and going to New York?" Evelyn exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air as I yanked the suitcase off the bed, it hit the floor with a dull thud. She'd been harping on about the move since I'd told her my decision which had been a few days ago. I bit back the retort I already had prepped and ignored her.

"Your running away, I can't believe your running away, you of all people." My last line of defence snapped, my mouth was already open before I had a chance to think.

"He died Evelyn, Elliot is dead, and you aren't the one who has to stay here, night after night, thinking that every noise is him, and waiting for him to walk through that door." I was yelling now. Taking a deep breath I tried to ground myself, avoiding looking at Evelyn's face. Failing miserably I dropped on to the bed hands over my face, rubbing my eyes, remembering that she'd also lost her brother.

"Eveie, it's just too hard right now, I can't live here right now. The funeral's been, I've done the grieving bid, I just…I need space." Evelyn dropped down on the bed next to me, sliding her arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. The gesture was comforting, well slightly.

"I know Carmen I really do… I'm just scared, you've been so strong through this whole ordeal, and if you go, they'll be no one to look after you." I gave her a grim smile fiddling with the hem of my jacket.

"I'm a big girl Eveie, and besides I've already done the whole grieving thing, it'll be nice having a new start." I said honestly. I stood up moving to the window, and looking out of it.

"Losing Elliot hurts a lot, but I think he'd want me to do this. After everything that happened, a fresh start is what I need." I could feel her eyes on my back. I bowed my head sensing her behind me.

"I'm just worried about you, but you should do what you need to, it's what Elliot would have wanted."

I turned around giving her a wry smile. Outside a car horn beeped, I picked up my suitcase and peered out the window, and seeing my cab.

"That's for me." I said, pulling the case in the direction of the front door. I stopped before turning to Eveie.

"Call me when you get there?" she asked, reaching out and hugging me closely. I returned the gesture with genuinely warmth.

"Of course." I broke away pulling open the door and manoeuvring the case around it. Eveie leaned in the door way watching me.

"Just out of curiosity why New York?" she asked looking thoughtful. I shrugged pulling the case with me as I began to walk down the corridor.

"I've got a few friends there."


	3. Chapter 3: Random Acts of Kindness

Chapter Three

_Hello, my friend we meet again_

_It's been a while where shall we begin_

_It feels like forever._

_Creed – My Sacrifice_

"Carmen Devine, I never thought I'd see you walking down the halls of my crime lab." I glanced up from the rule leaflet that Mac handed me to see Danny Messer coming towards me down the corridor.

"Hey Messer, how are you doing?" I exclaimed, we fell into a brief hug before pulling away grinning at each other.

"You gonna introduce me to your friend?" I lifted my eyes surprised to see a dark head tall guy standing behind Danny, a welcoming smile on his face. I reached forward sticking hand out in a friendly gesture. I followed his lead, clasping his warm hand in mine. His grip was strong inviting.

"Carmen Devine, meet Detective Don Flack." I gave Flack a shy smile, as Danny introduced us.

"Pleased to meet you." I said withdrawing.

"That's quite a name." Flack said referring to the introduction. I shrugged, before rolling my eyes.

"It's just a name." Flack's face dropped a little, before he recovered quickly. For a second I felt bad.

"You've heard that a lot right?" he asked rising his eyebrow. I smiled playfully.

"A little." My gaze went back to Danny whose arms were now folded over his chest watching the exchange with a twinge of interest.

"So what are you doing here?" he asked with a genuine curious look. "Last time I saw you…"

The bulb went off in his mind I could see the word "Elliot's funeral" forming in his mind. I bowed my head pursing my lips together momentary. His hand touched my shoulder gently I rose my head my gaze fixing on him.

"How are you doing?" he asked frowning, his arms going back to their original position. I looked down at my hands, clasping them together before returning my gaze to him.

"I'm doing ok." I told him. There was a brief moment of awkward silence between us as either one struggled to find the right words. Danny had lost a friend too that day. In the end it was Flack's voice that broke it.

"Man, I could sure go for some coffee, do you guys want some coffee?" he asked stretching out. I knew what he was doing and I appreciated it. I shook my head, holding up my hand.

"I'm good." Danny snapped out of his reverie and stuck a hand into his back pocket tugging his wallet out.

"I'll take a latte, you sure Carmen, Flack knows this place that does the best coffee in New York." I shook my head again.

"I have more than one in the morning I'm set on high speed for the rest of the day." I told them. The corners of Flack's mouth twitched. Danny handed a handful of change to Flack who rolled his eyes.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Flack moaned. Danny grinned shaking his head.

"I swear I saw some dollars in that wallet." He said as Danny slipped the wallet back into his pocket. Danny shrugged with a wide grin on his face.

"Sorry Flack that's all I got." Flack narrowed his eyes playfully before turning to me.

"It was nice meeting you." I watched his back as he was confidently down the corridor, smiling at people as they went by.

"Nice guy." I said jerking my thumb in Flack's general direction. Danny tilted his head, his arms crossed over his chest again.

"Just don't get on the other side of the interrogation table to him; he'd tear you to shreds." I glanced at the happy go lucky guy who was now going through the set of double door at the end of the corridor that led to an exit.

"I'll bear that in mind."

"So really how are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while, what's going on with you? You managed to find yourself a guy yet or you still trawling for one." I punched him in the arm as he laughed.

"I'll take that as a no." he said pulling himself out of my way.

"I've been here two minutes, even I don't work that fast." Danny gave me a sceptical look.

"Besides I was saving myself for you." I pouted at him.

"You know I prefer the free and single life to the ranks of the committed, sorry Carmen, maybe in about ten years when you've worn me down."

"Get over yourself Messer." I retorted. Danny smiled to himself.

"So you're living here now?" he asked curious.

"Yonkers." I confirmed folding the rulebook and slipping it into my pocket.

"Near Flack." Danny told me, I raised an eyebrow.

"Eveie phoned ahead, told me to keep an eye on you." I bit my lip from making a curt remark. Danny moved closer, his eyes intent on my face. I crossed my arms over my chest, defensively.

"She's just worried about you Carmen, that's what sisters do." He was trying to explain. He didn't need to.

"I just… I don't need to be checked up on, we both lost our brother, and I'm handling it just fine. She thinks moving to New York was running away from the whole thing." I confessed to Danny, whose head was bowed listening.

"I'd been thinking about the move for a while, ever since Sonny got put away. Elliot's death just gave me the push I needed." I let out a deep sigh, looking up at Danny.

"I wasn't planning on babysitting you." He told me. I smiled grimly.

"Thank you." I opened my mouth to say more but was cut off by the urgent ring of Danny's cell phone.

"Hold on I need to take this." He said checking caller I.D. I nodded waiting patiently and trying hard not to listen to Danny's side of the conversation. I glanced up as he snapped it shut and slid it back into his back pocket.

"That's Mac I gotta call out, I've gotta get going." He said rubbing the back of his head with his left hand.

"We'll catch up later alright?" he asked backing off down the corridor towards the lab.

"Sure." I said waving him off.

"Hey is that Danny running away down the corridor?" Flack asked coming up behind me holding two steaming paper cups.

"Yep." I replied turning my body towards him.

"Damn it he always does this to me." Flack grinned good-naturedly despite his words. For the first time I realized how vivid the blue in his eyes was.

"You like Latte?" he asked offering one of the paper cups out to me. I shrugged.

"Why not?" I said taking the cup from his hands. The warmth of it reminded me of a few winters ago in New York with Danny when I'd slipped in the snow, spilling coffee all over the front of his shirt. I grinned at the memory before returning my attention to Flack, whose eyes appeared to be analysing me.

"What?" I asked without thinking. He shook his head at me sipping from his coffee.

"Just trying to figure you out."

"I thought you were practising for your undercover role as one of those guys down at the bus station." Flack laughed out loud.

"Hang around there much?" he replied, deadpanning. I couldn't help but giggle.

So how do you know Danny?" he asked focusing on me.

"We met in college doing the same course and hit it off from there." Flack raised his eyebrows.

"As friends." I narrowed my eyes at him. Flack raised his hands.

"Hey, I said no different." He chuckled. My cell phone went off suddenly making me jump, I slipped it out of my suit jacket and to my ear.

"Devine?" listening to Stella Bonasara talking I kept my eyes on Flack, who sipped his coffee while staring down the corridor at the people in the labs. If all people who worked here were like him I was going to get on just fine. I hung up the cell phone and returned it to the space it had previously occupied.

"I got my first call out." I said taking a final swig of the drink. I handed the cup back to Don, who instinctively grabbed for it.

"Thanks for the coffee." I said patting his arm. I turned away and strolled down the corridor I heard Flack calling after me.

"Good luck, this is New York, you'll need it."


	4. Chapter 4: Chokehold

Chapter Four

_Hey man you know I'm really ok_

_The gun in my hand will tell you the same_

_But when I'm in my car don't give me no crap, _

_The slightest thing and I just might snap._

_Offspring – Bad Habit_

"So what have you got for me?" Mac said from across his desk his eyes on me, his gaze intent. It was making me a little nervous. Yet it didn't drown out the excitement that had welled up inside me. I slid the results of our findings onto the desk in front of Mac, waiting for him to take them. I couldn't believe Stella was letting me run with this one.

"The jewels that those two stole, were fakes, there's a chip in the diamond." Mac was reading the paper in front of him.

"Diamonds don't chip." He murmured. I nodded.

"Exactly, anyway I remember reading up on this process that involved creating diamonds with a lot of pressure in a lab, that's how these particulars beauty's were made." I explained.

"What about the rest of the evidence how do you tie the rest of the evidence to the bank managers murder?" he asked, his voice showing me nothing about his thoughts.

"The bank manager stiffed his partners on the job, see he switched the diamonds and let them make away with all the fakes, at some point they realized and went after him, for their cut. My guess the manager refused and then they decided to extract a little revenge on him." Mac nodded for me to continue.

"The gun we found was traced back to a Theresa Marlin, but we found traces of hair dye in some of the clothes that were in her apartment, I'm guessing that the boyfriend was the second killer. His neighbours say that he has midnight blue hair, and that's the colour of the dye we found on the hair." Mac studied the sheet in front of him for the millionth time, the silence weighted on me as I awaited his reply.

"Go get him." He said finally. I almost jumped in glee.

"But take Flack with you, you don't want to get into a situation that could be potentially dangerous without back up." I nodded my agreement and went in search of Flack.

I knocked for the third time, this one even louder than the last.

"You think he's in?" I asked Flack, instantly suspicious.

"I think he's probably bailing out the back door." Flack said moving to the gate on the side of the house. Before he could take another step the door opened, revealing a dishevelled blond haired man, with unruly hair. His eyes narrowed into a leer at the sight of me. I rolled my eyes pulling open my jacket to reveal my badge. His wandering eyes reached my chest and stopped.

"Yea?"

"Detective Devine and this is Detective Flack." Brennan Costa looked me up and down for the second time.

"I can see why they call you Devine." Flack snapped his fingers in front of Costa's face.

"Hey wise guy, eyes on me. I'm gonna be asking the questions." Flack growled. Costa's mouth curved into a sneer, he pulled the door open retreating into the house. Exchanging a careful look with each other, hands on guns we followed him in.

His house was nothing special, but I can say it was a mess. I dropped my kit to the floor and crouched down to open it. Flack stood next to me his eyes firmly on Costa.

"What can you tell us about Oliver Roderick?" Flack asked his gaze not faltering. I had to admire the way he was staring out the guy. I would have caved long before now. Costa shrugged.

"Nice guy, I hear he's dead now, it's a crying shame." I extracted the evidence punch from my kit and rose to my feet.

"I'm sure it is. Now we have a warrant to acquire a hair off your head, so will you do me a favour and hand it to Detective Devine so we can get you of here." Costa's eyes were on me, his hesitation clear.

"I thought you were a tough guy Costa. This is only gonna hurt for a second." I snapped at him.

"What's this for?"

"To eliminate you from our enquires. I sure you won't mind helping us out here." I said moving towards him. Before I could blink he was off out of the door, without thinking I was there following close behind him. Branches from the over grown garden whipped me as I sped past, gaining speed on Costa with each step. I didn't know where Flack was nor did I care, the only thing that mattered was getting justice for that poor man's family. Adrenaline ran through me as I sprang over the fence after Costa and into an alley. I skidded around the corner, and moving straight past Costa. He lunged as I turned hands going for my gun. I let out a tiny shriek as the sudden added force of him knocked me backwards, causing me to lose my balance, I hit the ground with pain vibrating along my back with Brennan Costa on top of me, his legs straddling my hips.

"Tough enough for you Detective Devine?" he yelled through ground teeth as I struggled against his hands, hitting out as he forced them towards me. They enclosed around my throat cutting off the air supply. Panic rushed through me as I tried to wriggle from underneath him, hands scratching at his face, arms, anything could get a hold on. My fingers slipped off his jacket, getting nothing but fibres under my finger nails. That wouldn't save my life, but it would avenge my death. I struggled against him, red spots now dancing in front of my vision. I could feel Costa's thumb digging right into base of my throat. My movements were becoming weaker, more restricted. I could feel the life being literally choked out of me. I could feel myself beginning to lose consciousness. The fight leaving me, I tried bitterly to fight it, but Costa was too strong. I couldn't even move. Something black exploded before my eyes, and suddenly the weight above me was gone and I could breathe again. I scrambled onto my hand and knees gasping for breath, my forehead bent forward, I took in gulps of air with an insatiable greed. I rose my head a little trying to overcome the feeling of dizziness. My eyes fell on Flack, knee on Costa's back, hand cuffing the son of a bitch. I forced myself to my feet, leaning against the wall of the alley with one hand for support as my weak legs threatened to give way.

"You ok?" Flack asked manhandling the hostile killer in his hands. I nodded briefly, before looking up at him. Flack hadn't exactly escaped unscathed; his lip was split from where I guessed Costa had lashed out when he tore him off me.

"Thanks to you." I wheezed, my voice rasping.

"I'll call for back up to take him in and we'll get you to a hospital ok?" I nodded gratefully, waiting for the dizziness to wear off.

"So what did they say?" Flack asked jumping to his feet as I returned to the waiting room. He handed me something, I looked down at it frowning until I realized it was in fact a chicken mayo sandwich.

"You do eat meat right?" he asked pointedly.

"Everything except pork." I told him honestly, his look was one of confusion.

"It just tastes dirty, I don't know why." I said thoughtfully unwrapping the sandwich.

"Danny was right about you." He commented. "Your weird." He said before taking a bite of his own sandwich.

"So are you gonna be wearing a turtle neck for the next few days or not?" he asked, waving his sandwich in my general direction. I took a bite out of my own sandwich, and chewed it before answering.

"Maybe a scarf. It'll bruise but then it should be alright. I'm probably going to sound like this for the next few hours." I said referring to my hoarse voice. I stopped for a second in the hospital corridor, causing Flack to also stop suddenly.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize for getting myself jumped by Costa, I mean I just responded." I told him. Flack took another bite from his sandwich.

"You used to be a cop before you came here didn't you?" he asked me. I blinked at him momentarily shocked.

"How'd you know?" I asked watching as he left his crusts and moved onto the next half of the sandwich.

"The way you reacted, it was a cop's reaction." He stated. I bowed my head with a tiny smile.

"I need to get out of that habit." I admitted. "Anyway what happened to you back there, one minute you were behind me and the next…"

Flack looked at me a little easily. I raised an eyebrow.

"Remember when you jumped the fence? You knocked the garbage cans into my path as you went over." He clarified. I vaguely remembered using them to help me clear the fence. I recalled the sound of them clanging behind me as I chased Costa.

"You went over them?" I laughed picturing the event. Flack gave me an embarrassed nod, screwing up the rubbish from his sandwich and tossing it in the bin next to him, I did the same.

"I'm sorry about that." Flack shrugged, picking up his pace as we moved towards the exit, I trailed behind him.

"It could have been worse." He muttered, taking a deep breath of the air as we left the hospital I got the impression he didn't partially like them. Which led me to the guess he probably hadn't got his lip checked out.

"It could have been." I agreed leaning on the roof of the car as he moved to the driver's side. He leant over putting the key in the lock and then opened his door.

"Hey…" I called out to him, his head snapped up our eyes meeting. I found myself drawn in.

"Thank you. I owe you one." I said pulling the handle of my own door.

"You can take me out to lunch sometime." He said, outing both his arms on the roof of the car and leaning on them. His wide smile brought one of my own to the surface.

"So let me get this straight, you save my life and I get to buy you lunch?" I exclaimed. Flack shrugged.

"You could make it dinner." He said with a playful expression.

"How about paint balling, I saw this new place on Queens on the way in, you wanna try it out sometime?" I asked. I ran my hand through my pushing it away from my face, before climbing into the car, along side Flack. Switching the engine on, he watched the mirror as he backed out of the car park. I sighed tilting my head against the car seat. I could tell I'd pushed him a little bit too far. The awkwardness between us grew.

"I'm free Friday afternoon." He said finally.

"Friday's my free day…" I told him. "I'll meet you at mine whenever you're ready; you know where I live right?"

"I was there the other night remember." He teased. I closed my eyes for a brief second, feeling tired.

"I remember you tried to break my lamp." I ribbed him.

"Hey it attacked my elbow, what was I supposed to do?" he retorted, eyes still on the road ahead of us. I snorted.

"If it had really attacked you, it would have been in pieces from where you'd shot it."

Flack sighed deeply.

"It is an ugly looking lamp." He pointed out.

"It's a nice lamp, I don't comment on your furniture." I said swatting at him.

"You've never been to my apartment." He remarked.

"Point taken." I rested my arm against the car door, resting my head against my hand as we pulled into traffic.

"By the way Mac wants to see you when you get back, I had to call it in." Flack informed me.

"You did the right thing." I notified him. Flack didn't look like he had any qualms with the answer.

"I feel so dumb for getting myself into that position." I came clean. Flack glanced at me before shifting the gear stick to a higher gear.

"It's happened to everyone at some point." Flack responded. "Everyone let's their guard down at some point, you can't do that on the job, as soon as you do…POW…your finished. Let me tell you a little something Stella told me." I watched Flack with interest, listening to his words carefully.

"You know how Mac's always alert, and you'd think he was like that all the time…" he scrunched up his face shaking his head.

"He's not, there was this case a over a year ago now, this guy had been squashed between two containers at the docks. Anyway, all the employees at the docks keep making remarks how it's a dangerous place. Mac and Stella ignore them. Mac goes to walk out from between two containers, Stella pulls him back just in the nick of time to stop him getting squashed just like that other guy." I knew I was staring at Flack fascinated.

"The point is that even Mac Taylor drops his guard at some point, so you shouldn't feel bad about it, it happens but your partner they'll never drop their guard because their always looking out for you, you should do the same." The car drew to a stop right next to the front doors of the crime lab. I looked around surprised. I opened the car door and stepped out onto the pavement.

"Thanks Flack…for the advice. I'll keep it in mind. Catch you later." I waved him off, thinking over his advice as I walked towards Mac's office.


	5. Chapter 5: Cocky

Chapter Five

_Oh if there's one thing I hang onto that gets me through the night_

_I ain't gonna do what I don't want to._

_I'm gonna live my life_

_Shining like a diamond_

_Rolling with the dice_

_Standing on the ledge_

_Showing the wind how to fly._

_Bon Jovi- Have A Nice Day._

I shifted in my seat, wincing as the bruises that were beginning to form took their toll on me. I glared at Flack who slid into the seat next to me.

"You just kept coming at me, my whole body's bruised." I moaned. Flack grimaced, straightening up in his seat.

"Hey, I got one in the ass, so I don't know what your whining about, I won't be able to sit for a week." He stated dramatically, grinning as we sat in his car, the engine running.

"You wanna go for dinner; I know this great Italian restaurant down the street if you wanna check it out." He said watching people walk by through the windows.

"I'd like that." I murmured.

"Hey I thought you couldn't sit down." I shot at him.

"If I move anymore than this." He wriggled a little showing me his mobility. "I'm going to be in severe pain."

"Maybe paintball was a bad idea especially if you're so delicate." I smirked. Flack ignored me.

"What about that kid? You plummeted him, took him clean out, no mercy!" I exclaimed. Flack shook his head, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"That "kid" pounded me when I ran out the first time, he deserved it. If he's big enough to attack an unarmed man, he's big enough to deal with the consequences." Flack told me humorously turning into the restaurant car park. I snorted.

"He was fourteen…you plummeted him."

"He started it."

"Sure he did tough guy." I laughed as he stuck his tongue out at me. I opened the passenger door stepping out onto the sidewalk, checking out the restraint window as I did so. I stopped dead instantly nervous.

"Erm Flack?" I glanced up at him as he locked the car door and came around to my side of the car.

I pointed at the restaurant and then at spread my hands down myself, I knew there were blobs of paint all over me.

"We're not exactly dressed for a place like this." I said pointing at the other patrons. Don gave me a wide grin taking my hand. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, multicoloured paint smeared in various places on his body. Despite all this Don Flack still looked as handsome as ever. He began to pull me towards the door.

"We both look dumb so what's the problem?" I ceased resisting and let him pull me into the restaurant. I knew all eyes were on us.

"Wow, this feels awkward." I leaned in whispering.

Somehow I found myself at a table, menu in my hands sitting across from Flack.

"How did you do that?" Don's eyes never left the menu in front of him.

"What?" It was apparent that Flack liked his food. I recalled a few weeks ago when I found a tiny mountain of candy bars lodged in the glove box in his car.

"You just walked right in here not a care in the world with a wide smile."

"It's all about confidence." Flack stated dismissive, I found myself starring at him.

"You are so cocky." I said, eyes straying to my own menu.

"I had no idea you thought of me like that, I should be honoured." I raised an eyebrow at Flack's comment.

"Frustrated Detective?" I smirked. Flack didn't miss a beat.

"If you want me just ask, maybe I'll be happy to oblige your request. I'll have the Bolognese please." He said pointing it out in the menu to the blushing waiter. I handed the menu to the waiter.

"Chicken Alfredo." The waiter nodded before walking away.

"What about you, your pretty confident." Flack said sipping some of his coke, his eyes were on me.

"I guess I just had to be after Elliot died, I had to be the strong one of the family…" I trailed off realizing what I'd just said. I bowed my head, exhaling.

"Sorry…I just I forgot I wasn't in Portland anymore." I clasped my fingers together. Flack tilted his head trying to catch my eye.

"It's alright, go on. Elliot was your brother right?" I looked off into the distance out of the window next to us.

"He died four months ago in a fire. Some debris fell on him, he got trapped." I felt as if I was pouring my heart out.

"He was a fire fighter?" Flack asked, I raised my head surprised.

"Yea, how'd you know?"

"Just the way you talk about him, the families of fire fighters are like the families of cops, their a little different to anyone else. They don't try to blame anyone else, they know the risks." I let out a tiny smile.

"You're right they are. What about you any siblings?" I asked him, leaning back as the waiter set down our meals in front of us. Flack did the same.

"A brother and a sister, I'm the eldest child." Flack grinned. "I used to beat up her boyfriends when they dumped her 4th grade." I raised an eyebrow at this revelation.

"You? Who seeks to destroy any source of injustice no matter how small?" I exclaimed, disbelieving him. Flack grinned, and then looked down at his plate, scooping food onto his fork.

"Yea well I was young." He said dignified. He caught the look I was giving him.

"What it wasn't like I was shaking them down for their lunch money." He said defensive.

"Did these tendencies come back to you when we were playing paintball because that kid didn't have any lunch money as far as I could tell." I said pointing at him with my fork. Flack shook his head with a tiny smile.

"Ok, another question. Why'd you quit?" I took a sip of my own drink before answering. I decided to take a leap of faith.

"The real reason or the one I ell everyone else?"

"What's the one you tell everyone else?" he asked chewing his eyes on me.

"I usually tell people that it was because I wanted to use the degree I'd earned in college." I confided.

"What's the real reason?" I saw a spark of interest in Flack's eyes. I went along with it.

"You know how you have to tell people how their loved ones are dead, and even though you know that sometimes the person they lost was a complete bastard you had to act like you were sorry anyway?" Flack nodded in response.

"Well I guess I just got sick of doing that, where I moved from everyone knew each other and well I couldn't be as honest as I wanted. I was constantly putting myself in danger; basically I got sick of watching the criminals walk away Scot free because of lack of evidence. The place I came from was a little corrupt and I didn't want to be tarnished by the same brush, and I decided I wanted to work with the evidence, and not rely on other people to get it for me just so I can walk up to some smug son of a bitch and slam it down in his face. That sounds perverse doesn't it?" I commented after saying my piece. Flack's eyes were on me intent; I'd grabbed his interest and found common ground. That was good.

"Not at all." He said settling back in his seat and eating more of the food off his plate. Flack's eyes flicked back to his plate.

"So what do you think of New York?" he asked focusing on the garlic bread wiping it around his plate.

"I used to live here, I moved after I finished college. Its weird getting used to it again, but otherwise its fine. I love this city." Flack smiled at my comment.

"So what's with you and Danny, you guys seem tight." Flack inquired.

"Danny got me out of a tight bind once or twice. We're close friends, nothing more." I reassured him. There was a comfortable silence between us.

"This is really good, you want to try some?" Flack asked holding his fork out towards me. I surveyed the fork for a second before accepting his offer. I chewed nodding my head as I ate it.

"That's not too bad…" I picked some chicken onto my fork and prodded it towards him.

"Your turn." Flack's eyes were one me as he took a bite.

"The chicken's tender." He said conversationally. A light bulb in his head went off as if he'd just remembered something.

"I have to ask you something…" he said clearing his throat. I frowned, but swirled my fork prodding him on.

"You were involved with the Tanglewoods at some point?" A shiver ran through my spine. I found myself on my feet like an ice cold bucket of water had been dumped on me. I took some bills out of my pocket and dropped them onto the table in front of him. Without looking at Flack I marched out of the restaurant and into the cold air of the night.

The Tanglewood Boys. The fucking Tanglewood Boys. I took a deep breath pushing all those memories away. Would they ever stop haunting me? As soon as those words were mentioned opinions on me were drawn and I was sick of it. I knew Flack was sitting back in that restaurant judging me. I clenched my fists; I don't even know why it mattered anymore. Our relationship was purely professional. Irritate I stuck out a hand to hail a cab. Someone grabbed my arm; I lashed out grabbing their arm, twisting to face my attacker.

"Whoa you jumpy." I let out a deep sigh releasing Flack's arm. I closed my eyes for a brief second and turned my head away from him. I couldn't deal with this right now.

"So what was that, you know, back there at the restaurant?" he exclaimed jerking his thumb at the silhouette at the restaurant. I ignored him and started to walk in the opposite direction.

"Well we know that I'm not the problem. So I'm guessing it's to do with the Tanglewood Boys." I felt myself physically flinch. I didn't stop moving. Flack's steps echoed behind me.

"You know what? I can keep this up all night princess." He stated behind me. After a few seconds I heard his steps accompanied by him whistling. I glanced over my shoulder to see him trailing behind me, hands tucked onto his pockets, head raised to the sky. His gaze met mine suddenly.

"Beautiful night isn't it?" he smirked. I turned away from him speeding up. He matched my speed.

"So where are we going?" he called after me. "Your place, the park, I think a walk in the park would be really romantic at this time of night." He told my back. I felt myself snap. I turned around glaring at him, frustration running through me.

"Have you got nothing better to do that follow me around all night?" Flack stopped looking at me blankly.

"I was having dinner with this really great girl but then she freaked and stormed out the restaurant." He shot back, I found myself grinding my teeth.

"Now I seriously have nothing better to do than to talk to your back." He added, eyeing my clenched fists. He folded his arms over his chest.

"If you're supposed to be as tough as you act whilst on the field why is it the term Tanglewood Boys riles you up so much huh?" Flack was pushing me. I felt like a suspect on trial.

"Doesn't Danny?" I retorted quietly. Flack's face darkened.

"At least Danny faces his problems head on, he doesn't always come out smelling of roses but he tries. He doesn't run away when the conversation turns nasty." He pointed at me. I found my eyes narrowing; taking a deep breath I grounded myself. He was right, I was wrong. I couldn't just keep walking away from this. I exhaled. Damn it I hated him being right.

"You really wanna hear it?" I asked folding my arms over my chest. Flack copied the motion.

"Hell yea." His answer was honest and inquiring.

"Drive me back to the apartment and I'll tell you, it's not something I wanna talk about out in the street." I said looking around us. We walked back to his car in an awkward silence. Flack broke it with a playful jab.

"This better be good." He said opening his car door. I followed suit, before climbing in I let the words leave my mouth.

"Oh it is."


	6. Chapter 6: Opening Up

Chapter Six

_I know I don't know you_

_But I want you so bad_

_Everyone has a secret_

_Can they keep it?_

_Oh no they can't_

_Maroon Five –Secret_

"Hey, you want a coffee or something?" I asked as we stepped through the threshold. I went direction to the bar looking kitchen.

"Sure, milk, two sugars." Flack said lingering by the mantle piece of my fire place. I flicked the kettle on.

"Is this your brother?" he asked turning to me holding up the picture. His eyes studied me for a second before I looked away nodding. The picture was my favourite, Elliot's arm around me both of us grinning like maniacs, because he'd gotten into the brigade.

"He's a good looking guy." Flack said replacing the picture back in its original place with care. I poured the contents of the kettle into the mugs and stirred them, while watching Flack remove his jacket and put it over the back of one of the four chairs around the tiny breakfast table. I picked up both mugs, moving over to the couch as he sat down on it stretching gracefully. Wordlessly I handed him the mug, which he took and put on the coffee table in front of us. I took the opposite end of the couch, nestling into its warm comfort; I kept my coffee in my hands sipping from it.

"So…" he prodded, settling on the sofa so that his full attention was on me. I sipped my coffee enjoying the bitter taste on my tongue.

"What has Danny told you?" I asked, seeing whether this was merely a fill in the blanks thing, or the whole shebang. Flack reached over picking up his coffee mug and drinking from it.

"Only about his involvement with the Tanglewood Boys, but I got the indication that there were a few details he wasn't sharing." Flack said eyes on me. He'd guessed those final few details were something to do with me I could see it in his face.

"That's a lot less that I thought…"

"You know for a CSI you jump to a lot of conclusions."

"Do you wanna hear it or not?" I snapped.

"Hey, I was only saying…" The banter wasn't making this any easier; the best thing would be to just get the whole thing out. I found myself looking at Flack. Did I really want to do this? I had no choice.

"In the second year of college, I met this guy, he was kind of a bad boy, ran with a bad crowd, drunk, smoked cigarettes." I sipped from my coffee delaying my spur of speech.

"Anyway by the last year of college we were married." I didn't dare raise my eyes to Flack. I stayed looking away at my fireplace as the memories returned.

"Anyway Danny was against it the whole entire time, he'd known the guy, but I was in love, I didn't listen, so we ended up married. A month later Danny was right, Mathew came back one night drunk, and covered in blood, ordering me to get rid of the clothes…and I couldn't do that, I knew from the sheer amount of blood that he'd killed someone, his knuckles were cut, there was evidence that he'd at least beaten someone, but the blood…I'll never forget it, it was everywhere. All over his shirt, his pants, his boots…" I looked down at the mug in my hands, staring into the shiny surface.

"I told him, we should go to the police, and he could tell them it was self defence. Mathew he just laughed said the little punk deserved it, he'd been masquerading as one of them he'd gotten what he'd deserved it was the first time I heard the name Tanglewood." I glanced up at Flack, whose features appeared to be unreadable. So I continued.

"Mathew was never one for the word "no"." I remembered bitterly.

"When I wouldn't help him, he started trashing the place, I called Danny…By the time Danny got there…Mathew was out of control and his attention had turned to me. He broke my ribs, collarbone, knocked a few teeth out, pretty much beat me black and blue, once he started he couldn't stop, by the time Danny got there, he was in full rage. Danny got in between us and some how managed to restrain Mathew until the police and the ambulance crew got there. As it turns out, Mathew managed to break Danny's wrist in the fight and well you know the rest."

"It turns out the police had already found the kid that Mathew and the others had killed, they needed someone to put him away, and I was that someone. He got charged with attempted murder, because he'd burnt the clothes in the garden when I was calling Danny, so it was my word against his. Sonny Sassoon was the youngest member of the gang at that time. Mathew sent him letters to give me, he threatened me more than once, and going on how could I put my husband and his "Home boy" in prison. He's never forgotten Danny either; to him Danny was the one guy who got mixed up in the Tanglewood Boys business, but they pretty much left him alone in respect for what he'd done. Not every guy goes up against a guy like Mathew Stobbart and comes out not dead. My divorce went through not long after the whole event, while I was recovering in hospital, and I was a free woman, but Sonny was always there in the back ground, so I moved away back to Portland after finishing my degree, and now I'm back, Sonny's in jail, and there's no risk to me anymore, the guys in the Tanglewood Boys now, don't know anything about me. So I'm on safe ground." I lifted my head up to meet Flack's gaze. I smiled grimly.

"And now you know…" I stood up taking his mug from him and moving towards the sink.

"You thought I was judging you?" he said suddenly. I bowed my head washing out the mugs.

"That's why you left the restaurant…You thought Danny had already told me and I was judging you?" I returned to my seat on the opposite side of the couch. Flack's arms were crossed over his chest.

"Do you blame me? Every time someone finds out about it changes their opinion on me. I can admit I was stupid and naïve, but that mistake was mine to make and not something to be judged on."

"You're not in Portland anymore." Flack said softly.

"Isn't that line usually "we're not in Kansas anymore"?" I tossed back; Flack uncrossed his arms and put them behind his head.

"Anymore dark secrets you wanna get off your chest while we're sharing?" I shook my head with a tiny smile.

"That's pretty much it."

"What about you any crazy ex's in the depths of your past?" I asked curious, I was liking Don's easy going nature. Flack thought for a second before beginning to speak with a humorous smile.

"There was this once chic, Maya, she was a dancer at some bar." I raised an eyebrow, he narrowed his eyes.

"I didn't meet her there." He defended. I gave him a sceptical look.

"Look whose judging now." He pointed out. I shrugged waiting for him to continue.

"Basically she liked fire, we broke up before I found that out, but I got called out to this arson case about a year back and she was the chief suspect. One word…pyromaniac, and then she wanted to hook up while we're investigating the case. I stayed well away from her." He laughed.

"Wow my thoughts on the girls you date were true." I sniggered. Flack rolled his eyes.

"Ok favourite book?" I said suddenly causing Flack to stare at me shocked.

"Of War and Peace." He replied.

"You're kidding me." I said aghast. Don shook his head.

"I'm serious. I can read it over and over again."

"But it's so huge." I said without thinking. Flack let out a howl of laughter. I shot him a dirty look, before he continued talking.

"What about you?"

"I'm more the science fiction, supernatural type of books, kind of nerdy I know." Dona licked his finger and mined a strike in the air.

"Strike one for you." He said with a playful grin. I narrowed my eyes.

"Favourite genre of film?" I asked.

"Comedy. I get enough action in work."

"Please don't tell me you're a Laurel and Hardy type of guy." I begged. Flack at least had the decency to look at least slightly embarrassed.

"A little." He confessed.

"Strike one for you, anyone who like Laurel and Hardy deserves to be shot." I told him.

"Better take that gun off you then." He retorted, suddenly lunging at me form the other side of the couch, I gave a tiny shriek as patted me down as if searching me, which also at the same time tickled.

"I don't have a gun!" I was in hysterics now, as Flack decided to stop searching me and tickle me instead. In my struggle against him, I slid down the couch and further underneath him. I found myself looking into his beautiful blue eyes, his lips inches from mine. It took me a moment to realize he had in fact stopped tickling me. I could feel him breathing as his chest gently brushed mine. I could see nothing but his eyes, and became lost in the moment. I don't know who made the first move but his lips were suddenly on mine, demanding yet careful. His skilled hands roamed my body. I wrapped my arms around him, lost in the tenderness of his kiss. Something insistent pushed at the edge of my consciousness, I tried to ignore it. But it was still there ever more distracting.

I pulled away from Flack reluctant. Flack's eyes were on mine, bewildered and confused.

"Your pager." I murmured. His gaze went down to the waistline of his jeans. The small black object continued to vibrate. Flack withdrew to the other side of the couch, pulling the pager off his jeans and staring at the number perplexed.

"I've gotta take this." He said standing up, and grabbing his leather jacket from the chair in one big sweep, moving towards the front door.

"You can use my phone." I said standing up, hands on my hips; my eyes were on him, I couldn't hide the frown spreading across my features. Flack stopped, his eyes going to me, wide and honest.

"No I can't." he said softly. Before I could get another word out he was gone and out of the door, I waved my hand as he slammed it behind him, muttering the word "bye" to myself.


	7. Chapter 7: Seeing Ghosts

Chapter Seven

_The smell of death is in the air_

_A woman weeping in despair_

_And I see no bravery, no bravery_

_In your eyes anymore, only sadness_

_James Blunt – No Bravery_

"Is the tail end out?" The paramedic asked, I looked to the right of me checking as I held up the debris in order for them to get the rest of the stretcher out through the gap the rescue team had made in the debris. I watched as Danny's eyes went to Flack, lying unconscious on the stretcher. His closest friend was now resting; it looked as if he was sleeping. The blanket covered the true extent of Flack's injuries. I tore my eyes away from Flack's almost bloodless face. I had to let them get on with it; he'd spend the next few hours in surgery. Danny closed his eyes briefly struggling with the emotions that were rising up inside him. Then he turned his attention back to me.

"Come on…" he gestured. "Your next." He reached out a hand towards me; I took it leaning on him to help me through the gap. My foot slipped hitting the beam supporting the whole lot, I let out a yelp as Danny yanked me forward into his chest as the rubble behind me suddenly collapsed exploding dust into the air. Danny lost his balance at the abrupt shift in weight, sending us both toppling backwards. We hit the ground on our sides. I let out a tiny cry as something pierced my skin. My hand went to it instinctively.

"You alright?" Danny asked through fits of coughing, squinting.

"I think so." I said clambering to my feet. Danny scrambled up after me.

"You bleeding." He pointed at my side, which also had Flack's blood smeared all over it.

"Here let me take a look." He said gently tugging up the hem of my blue shirt. He hoisted it just under my bra line. He let go grabbing my arm above the elbow and pulling me in the direction of the exit. I could see the fear, in his eyes, the concern.

"Danny?"

"We need to get you to a medical point." He growled leading me through the wreckage of the building quickly. Breathing in to the fresh air I barely had any time to breathe before Danny was dragging in the direction of the medical point. I waved at Stella as Danny hauled me past her. He handed me over to the paramedic before I could protest.

"She has a chunk of metal in her left side just under the bra line. It's bleeding pretty bad." Danny told the paramedic. He nodded and was already lifting my top up to check the damage.

"Hey, are you gonna be alright here?" Danny asked as I raised my arms above my head, so the paramedic could get a better view of the injury. Now that I knew it was there it was beginning to hurt like a bitch. I nodded grinding my teeth.

"Danny…Thanks." I said as he turned to leave. He gave me a tiny wave.

"No problem." Then he was lost in the crowd and chaos that the bomb had called.

"Ma'am call I just sit you down here?" the paramedic asked guiding me to the stretcher a few feet behind us. I put my arms down and sat down on it. The paramedic stood in front of me applying a pair of latex gloves to his hand, and grabbing a pair of tweezers. He smiled at me apologetic.

"I'm going to have to get this out ma'am, it's going to sting, but I'll make it quick I promise." I took a deep breath; I raised my hands above my head and nodded. I felt the paramedic gently put his hand just underneath my breast stretching the skin below it.

"Ready?" I ground my teeth as I felt him jerk the jagged piece of metal out from my skin. I fought the urge to want to scream and clenched my jaw instead. Tears ran from my eyes as he gave it another pull before it eventually came free.

"You were lucky." He said holding up the piece of metal that had worked its way into my skin. An image of Flack laying there, that metal sheet on him…

The paramedic pulled out a cotton pad and a roll of gauze.

"Did you get caught up in the explosion?" he asked me, reeling off some gauze. I took a deep breath nodding.

"Must have been scary." The paramedic murmured pushing the cotton pad against the injury. Images of Flack broke into my mind, forcing more tears to slide silently down my face. Flack smiling, his eyes twinkling as he teased Danny, his laugh. Then there were more, him yelling, yanking my behind him, the explosion going off, Flack's chest wide open blood everywhere. The prick of a needle in my skin snapped me out of it. I turned my head towards the paramedic, who I realized was in the process of giving me stitches.

"The wound's too wide to heal on its own, to be honest it's too wide for stitches to work effectively, but they may just help." I nodded, as he worked on my side.

"It's going to take a while to heal, but try not to stretch it otherwise you'll just pull them right out." He told me pulling my top down, I tested my mobility. Giving the paramedic a grim smile, I said my thanks and went in search of Mac. Flack was there in my head again, the images just kept rushing at me. His beautiful eyes on me, that kiss…

"What do you need me to do?" I burst out upon finding Mac, Stella turned to me frowning at my outburst.

Mac's eyes were on me analysing my productivity. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Even if it's just lab work I'll do it, I just… I need to work this Mac."

Mac let out a deep breath; he and Stella exchanged a look between them.

"Go back to the lab with Lindsey you can work with the evidence we've got there. How's the side?" he asked pointing at the blood patch that had spread onto my shirt from when the injury had first occurred.

"They stitched me up." I answered, Mac's eyes studied me.

"Go find Lindsey and I'll see you back there." I took off in the direction that he pointed in, my eyes searching the crowd for Lindsey's head. Forcing the images of Flack from my mind I pushed through people to get to her.


	8. Chapter 8: One Week

Chapter Eight

_I can't help it if I think you're funny when you mad_

_Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad._

_I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral_

_Can't understand what I mean you soon will._

_I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve._

_Bare Naked Ladies - One Week_

One Month Ago

"Hey Devine, you busy tonight?" Danny asked as I shifted the camera around my neck into a more manageable position.

"Stella's got us tickets to a fashion show tonight." I told him raising the camera to my face and taking a picture of the body.

"Why you need to talk or something?" I asked changing position and getting another picture.

"Meeting up with Aidan tonight, thought you'd wanna come." I smiled behind the camera taking a picture of the blood pool.

"Sorry." I replied. Danny shrugged.

"You got plans." He paused for a second, before glancing at Flack, who was tied up talking to the eye witnesses.

"You two have a lover's tiff or something?" Danny asked taking notes. I scowled.

"What he do? Spill coffee on your paper work?" he sniggered. I let my eyes follow the tiny trail of blood leading from the scene. I pointed it out to Danny. He crouched down putting the crime scene cone down next to it. I took a picture of it before moving onto the next tiny spot of blood. Danny walked along side me putting down another cone.

"He took off last night after we went out for dinner. I flipped out in the restaurant because he mentioned the Tanglewood Boys." I confessed. Danny looked at me sidelong as we took another step forward.

"I can see how that date went sour."

"It wasn't a date." I stated.

"Sure it wasn't. Look, you don't want the Tanglewood Boys to mess up something with Flack." Danny said, crouching down to examine the blood spatter on the ground.

"Danny I told him." Danny's head jerked in my direction.

"That's a first." He said analysing me over his shoulder. I didn't look up from the camera.

"I know." Danny stood up, and took a few steps towards me, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So why'd he take off then?" Nice to know that Danny thought Flack would stick around even after hearing I was married to a Tanglewood Boy. I shrugged.

"He got a page, and vamoose he was gone."

"Vamoose?" A wide smile crossed over Danny's face.

"Who says that?" Danny shook his head repeating the word. I rolled my eyes and followed the trail across the pavement towards the road, where it suddenly stopped.

"You noticed this Messer?" I asked indicating towards the trail of blood.

"A trail leading to and from the scene? That's weird."

"Vic running away…but then back again?" Danny pondered staring at the position of the body.

"He was killed in that very spot, so I don't think it's the victims." I crouched down opening my kit and taking out a swab.

"Killer's maybe?" Danny said as he watched me scooping up a tiny dot of it for DNA.

"The victim was shot from close range, there appears to be no struggle…I think this is a nose bleed." I said slipping the swab into an envelope. I stood up staring down at the same spot as Danny.

"Isn't that a little too much blood for a nose bleed?" Danny asked, picking up the camera and photographing the last few patches of blood drops.

"Depends." I told him scoping out the road for tread marks.

"I used to know this guy that whenever he got overexcited his nose would literally pour blood, we're talking almost freakish amounts." I recited to Danny.

"That must have been a killer in the bed room." He remarked dryly.

"I wouldn't know." I countered. Danny's head swivelled around looking towards the surrounding shrubbery.

"I'm gonna check those bushes over there, see if we can get lucky with the murder weapon." Danny said, his gaze now focused on the bushes.

"Sure go a head." I waved him off, swabbing the oil like substance from what I could only hope was a leak in the killer's car.

"Hey. A witness said she saw a man running from the scene, his shirt was covered in blood, sound like your guy?" I examined the substance before bagging and tagging it. I straightened up, turning my head in Flack's direction.

"I think the killer had a nosebleed. You know one of the major ones. The excitement of the kill set it off, the blood patches here, lead to and from the scene." I showed him.

"So we're looking for a gusher?" I smiled despite myself, nodding. I let my gaze rest on Flack for enough time for me to see him, peer around us for people nearby.

"Look about the other night…" he began. I cut him off, bowing my head.

"Flack we're working." I said bending down to return all the pieces of my kit to the correct places.

"Why don't you take a break with me? I'm talking five minutes." He said, I knew without looking his eyes were on my back.

"I can't just take a break in the middle of a crime scene." I replied, closing my case and tightening the clips that held it closed. I stood up as he folded his arms.

"Will you just listen to me for a second?" I held up a hand to silence him.

"You don't need to explain." I said softly grabbing my case in my right hand. I started to walk towards Danny, who was knee deep in the bushes still sifting through them. Flack grabbed my arm firmly; I stopped and turned my head towards him. He released my arm.

"I want to." I moved to face him.

"You've got three minutes." I told him, dropping my case to the ground, to take the weight off my arm.

"The other night…" he hesitated.

"When your pager went off." I prompted. Flack grimaced at the memory.

"When my pager went off…it was the station, there was a problem with the shifts. I ended up on call, even though I was supposed to have the night off. I didn't want to disappoint you so I didn't cancel but the evening overran more than I realized, and when I got the call out, it was to a crime scene on the other side of town, well I had to leave." He explained.

"You could have used my phone." Flack's eyes studied my face.

"You know I couldn't." I sighed, biting my lip. He was right of course.

"So it was nothing to do with what happened?" I asked, looking away suddenly shy.

"No…that wasn't it." Flack said looking into the distance. Relief flooded into me. A few seconds of silence spread between us.

"About that…" I interrupted him, picking up my kit.

"Flack." I reminded him, tapping my watch.

"I'm gonna go do some cop stuff, you know interviews and stuff. I'll see you around." See you around? I repeated in my head as I watched Flack's back as he walked away towards the mounting crowd of people. Man, that phrase sucked.

A shout from the left of me, averted my thoughts, and drew my gaze to Danny who stood triumphant, a semi automatic dangling from between his fingers.

"I think we've got a match."


	9. Chapter 9: Cocktails

Chapter Nine

_I'd rather be liberated_

_I find myself captivated_

_Stop doing what you keep doing it too_

_I'd rather stay bold and lonely;_

_I dream I'm your one and only._

_Catatonia – Mulder and Scully_

I stood next to Stella taking in the bustling crowds of people in front of us, considering that the event was exclusive; there were a hell of a lot of people here. The scenery dotted around the room was jungle themed matching this season's colours and styles.

"How on earth did you get these tickets?" Lindsey breathed next to me, her eyes as wide as I could guess mine were. Stella gave us a brief smile.

"A friend of mine's one of the designers." I found myself gaping at her, feeling slightly out of place. Stella breezed through the place as if she belonged.

I followed her as she moved through the crowd with ease towards some seats stationed at the front of the stage.

"Great seats too?" I said impressed as we sat down.

"You must be very good friends." I said with a wink. Stella leaned over whispering in my ear.

"I introduced him to his current boyfriend." She murmured just loud enough for both me and Lindsey to hear. I smiled settling into my seat, as did Stella ad Lindsey. My wavy auburn hair fell to mid back, over the silk royal blue top I was wearing. We were all dressed to the nines for this event. It wasn't often we had the chance to dress up.

"Hey, where is the illustrious Frankie?" I asked watching the crowd in front of us.

"Some of these dresses are fantastic." I said pointing some out to Lindsey who looked as impressed as I was. I glanced back at Stella who'd said nothing. Me and Lindsey exchanged a look between us. Gathering that Stella didn't want to talk about Frankie, I leaned back in my seat and began to fire questions at Stella about her famous fashion friends.

Our glasses kinked in the middle, as we toasted.

"To being a CSI." We sipped our cocktails in unison, me sipping the straw of my pink tropical drink.

"This is brilliant Stella, you are truly amazing, and this tastes so good." I rambled, keeping my mouth near the straw.

"Ahh the New York cocktail experience." Lindsey said sipping her orange cocktail elegantly. I looked around at our surroundings.

"I never even knew drinks like this existed, Danny only ever takes me to beer bars." I told the others rolling my eyes. Stella nodded knowingly.

"The guy's speciality is beer." Lindsey remarked and then turned her attention to me.

"So you and Danny? What's going on there?" Lindsey asked quizzically. I shook my head mouth still on the straw.

"Nothing, we're just really great friends; I've known him since college." I told them, fixing my glass firmly to the table, and just tilted my head lazily to sip from the straw.

"Besides I know a certain someone who has a crush on Danny." Stella said pointedly at Lindsey, who blushed a little.

"It's just flirting." she said before gulping more of her drink.

"Sure it is." I said winking. I turned back to Stella who was nursing her own glass.

"So what's going on with you and Frankie, you seem to have cooled off a little?" I commented, and then sipped through the straw. Lindsey nodded her interest on Stella.

"Frankie…we broke up, a few days ago, he's been leaving messages." The news didn't shock me the way I thought it would of, since I'd already detected something was wrong during the show. It was the look on Stella's face that shocked me.

"What happened?" Lindsey asked frowning. I figured Lindsey could continue asking the questions I could just keep my mouth on the straw. Stella looked like she was trying to decide something.

"This goes no further, nobody else finds out especially not Mac." Stella said. Both Lindsey and me swore our alliance against Mac and moved forward to hear Stella's story.

"A few days ago he came into work and gave me a sculpture he'd made."

"I remember, it was a weird looking thing." I said looking up from my straw. I reprimanded myself; the alcohol was getting to me. Stella gave me a wry grin.

"The name of the sculpture was my name backwards. Out of curiosity I googled it." Her face darkened, the grip on her glass tightened. I reached out patted her arm lightly, with an encouraging smile.

"Frankie had made a web site; there were videos on it, of us…together." It took me a moment to get the jist. My hand went to my mouth; I knew Lindsey's jaw was hanging open. Stella went silent looking strong and dignified. The silence between us was deafening. I slowly took my hand away from my mouth.

"It's probably a good thing we don't know Frankie's address." I said finally, Lindsey and Stella's gaze shifted to confusion.

"It would be horrible for him to wake up his statues all in pieces, on the floor." I said menacingly, sipping from my straw. Stella let out a small laugh.

"The site is down now?" Lindsey asked. Stella nodded in response.

"Well Stella I really have got to admire your reaction to this, if that was me Frankie would be six feet under, without a spade." I told her. Stella gave me a true smile before ordering more cocktails.

"I'm really glad I told you guys. I've been wrestling with it for a while." She said moving her arm, as the second set of cocktails arrived. We all reached for our next drink raising our glasses.

"To good friends."


	10. Chapter 10: All Access

Chapter Ten

_You were my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first,_

_Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth_

_I have to go, I have to go_

_Your hair was long when we first met._

_Regina Spektor - Samson_

"Whoa, you're looking rough this morning." Flack's cheery voice pierced the throbbing in my skull. I twisted my head towards him and narrowed my eyes. Laughing he raised his hands in surrender.

"I got hit with a cocktail truck." I whined donning my latex gloves.

"Ah you were with Stella last night?" Mac's voice came from behind me. I gave him a small grin.

"And Lindsey." I confirmed.

"Maybe I need to have a word with Stella about keeping my CSI's out to late."

"You do that and you know what she'll tell you…" Mac gave a knowing smile. As Flack moved into the conversation. He looked down at he jerking his thumb in the direction of the building. Mac shifted back towards the car, to retrieve his kit.

"You had the Kid Rock experience yet?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes at the memory of the thought engaging conversation between me and Kid.

"I pretty much got the once over, and then the dismissive look." I admitted. Flack crossed his arms over his chest frowning.

"And you ok with that?" I shrugged in response.

"He's the arrogant rock star type and I look a little rough today, I live with the knowledge that he's not attractive at all." I told him with the flash of a smile. The sides of Flack's mouth twitched. I heard Mac's footsteps behind us as we moved slowly towards the crime scene.

"Poor Kid…" he teased

"That's the truth!" I protested.

"He's an…" I was cut off as we walked past a patrol car by the crackle of the radio.

"Shots fired, possible officer down…" I felt myself physically stop dead and turn towards the radio.

"Isn't that…" Mac's response was my answer. He took off towards the car, Flack following close behind. Mac tore open the car door, pausing when he caught me trailing behind them.

"Carmen, you need to stay here. Secure the crime scene, I'll send Lindsey along to give you a hand." I let out a deep sigh of expiration nodding. Mac ducked into the car, slamming the door behind him. I grabbed Flack's arm before he could follow suit.

"I know I know, I'll call you when we find out what the situation is." Flack told me rushed. I took a step back as he threw himself into the car. I heard the noise of the car door vibrating from the fact it was slammed so hard shut. I waved them off before returning to limo to process it.

While waiting for Lindsey, I tried to recall anything about last night which may give me a clue to what had happened at Stella's place. I got nothing. As far as I could remember her and Lindsey and pretty much carried me up the stairs to my apartment, changed me into pyjamas and then called another cab after tucking me into bed. Thankfully a few minutes later Lindsey arrived to pull me from my brooding. Her eyes swept up towards me examining my face. She looked as rough as I did.

"You hear the call out?" she asked busying herself by opening her kit and putting on the standard latex gloves. I nodded, swallowing hard, trying not to think about what was going on right now at Stella's apartment. The apprehension on Lindsey's face seemed to be a little more than concern.

"I've told Don to call me when he gets a minute. As soon as I find out anything so will you." I said trying to comfort her. Lindsey gave me a warm smile, the dark look on her face not quite removed.

"So…" Lindsey began. "What do we have?"

I crouched on the ground opening my kit.

"Kid Rock's driver dead in the limo."

The lab was deadly quiet when my phone went off in my pocket. My eyes glued to the microscope, I took it out, flipped it open and put it to my ear.

"Devine."

"Flack." Was all he said, I withdrew from the microscope concerned by the tone of his voice.

"I'm at the hospital…Stella; she's in a bad way. We found her unconscious in her apartment, her boyfriend Frankie was shot three times in the chest. He's dead." Flack sighed. I bit my lip.

"They ran a sexual assault kit on her, she can't remember anything. The kit came back negative. There's bruising on her face, Mac's analysing the scene to see if we can piece together what happened from the evidence." I felt all the air rush out of me, conclusions bursting into my mind.

"Self defence?" I managed to get out.

"It looks like Frankie was killed by Stella. So we're thinking self defence." I felt tears well in my eyes at the thought of Stella being left broken and battered, alone.

"Is…" I choked and then retained control over myself.

"Is there someone going to be there at the hospital? I mean you know…someone should be there." I struggled.

"I'm going to be here."

"If anything comes up…" he cut me off.

"I know call you."

"Yea." I smiled.

"Hey you too." He said before we said our goodbyes. I hung up and went in search of Lindsey.

I leaned against the wall next to Stella's apartment door, keys dangling from my fingers. Hearing footsteps I glanced up, catching sight of Stella walking down the hall, head down, hair tied back. She looked up. Flack had warned me that the side of Stella's face was bruised, a cut above her eye. I held in the gasp that threatened to escape me.

"Carmen?" she said softly. I waved with the opposite hand slipping my keys in the back pocket of my pants.

"I didn't think you'd want to be alone tonight. I know you're too stubborn to ask." Stella stopped, in front of the door and got her keys out.

"Don called you?" she asked. I bowed my head with a dry chuckle.

"I threatened to shred his baseball card collection." I confessed. Stella gave me a small smile before opening the apartment door; I followed her in closing it behind me.

"At least they repaired the lock." I said surveying the hallway. Stella said nothing. I could tell she was processing the rooms, going through everything that had happened in each room.

_Samson went back to bed_

_Not much hair left on his head_

_He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed_

_And the history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us_

_The bible didn't mention us, not even once._

I followed her into the bed room. The bloody rug was still there, spots of blood matted it. Stella ignored it and straightened a chair that had been knocked over in the fight for the gun with Frankie. I watched as she turned stopping in front of the rug, her eyes glued to it. I moved towards her, putting my arm around her shoulders.

"I'll get that. How about you pack an overnight bag and stay at mine tonight, at least until this gets cleaned up?" Stella shook her head. I pursed my lips respecting that.

"I'll stay here then." I said softly.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I asked Stella, whose eyes were still on the carpet, wordlessly she pointed at the door. I treaded carefully into the bathroom, my eyes going instantly to the bath. The blood still pooled in there.

_You were my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first_

_Beneath the stars came calling on our heads_

_But there just soft light, there just soft light_

_Your hair was long when we first met._

I picked up the shower head I turned on the cold water tap and watched the blood wash away as I doused it. The cord, she'd been tied with and the razor she'd used to free herself had been taken for evidence. Only the thick blood ran down the plug hole. I knew what had happened here. I forced Flack to tell me on the way over in the car, over the phone. After washing my hands I left the bathroom and wandered into Stella's bedroom. I froze surprised to see her packing an overnight bag. I watched form the doorway.

"I cleaned the bathroom." I told her quietly.

"Thanks." Stella looked up after zipping the bag shut, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

"Can I…" I cut her off.

"Of course." I said quickly. I moved towards the rug, knelt down in front of it and began to roll it up. When I was finished I placed it behind the dresser.

"In case you wanna get it dry cleaned or something." I told Stella, knowing her eyes were on me. Stella responded with a brief nod. I could see her starting to break.

"Hey come on." I said guiding her towards the door. Stella relented instead of the resistance I expected. I shut the apartment door behind me cursing Frankie for hurting such a wonderful woman.

_Samson came to my bed_

_Told me that my hair was red_

_He told me I was beautiful and came into my bed_

_Oh I cut his hair myself one night_

_A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light_

_And he told me that I'd done alright_

_And kissed me till the morning light._

"The bathroom's through there, as well. You can take my room tonight, it's more homily than the spare room, it's still full of stuff, I couldn't be bothered to unpack." I confided. I walked into my bedroom showing Stella what it was like. She dropped her bag on the floor; it made a dull thud, before she sat on the edge of the bed. I could see her exterior breaking.

"I've got a shower and a bath, so help yourself to as much hot water as you want." I told her. Stella's eyes were glistening with tears now.

"Thank you, I mean for all of this." She said as tears ran silently down her face. I sat on the bed next to her and put my arms around her.

"Hey, it's no problem, you've had a really awful experience, I just want you to know that I'm here, and so is everyone else." Stella's defences snapped and a sob escaped her mouth. I turned my body towards her, letting her cry into my shoulder and stroking her hair.

"I keep seeing his face." She murmured. I pulled her closer feeling my own tears beginning to overwhelm me.

"It's ok Stella, I'm here." I told her. "I'm here." She gripped me tightly as she let it all out.

_Samson came back to bed_

_Not much hair left on his head_

_Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed_

_Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down_

_Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one_

_And the history books forgot about us_

_And the bible didn't mention us, not even once._

I don't know how long we sat there, but Stella was the first to pull away, gathering herself, she was a pillar of personal strength again. She dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. I gave her a grim smile doing the same.

"I'm going to get a bath is that alright?" she asked. I nodded I followed her from the room and collapsed on the couch while she walked into the bathroom. This whole thing had shaken me up a little. There was an abrupt knock at the door. I stared at it. Images of a dead Frankie standing there. Shaking off my own idiocies I went to the door tearing it open.

_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first._

Don Flack leaned in the doorway, head bowed. He looked up at me, his expression, tired and worn. The black leather jacket thrown over his shoulders, the top button of his blue shirt open, tie sticking out of his suit pocket.

"Can I come in?" he asked softly. I let out a sigh of relief. The sight of him brought the fresh tears to my eyes again. I opened the door wider, trying to hide them, only to find myself pulled into a warm comforting hug. I breathed in his scent feeling the fear and pain being driven out of me. He squeezed me tighter for a second before pulling away and closing the door behind him.

"Is she here?" he asked quietly. I moved towards the kitchen whilst he took the sofa.

"She's in the bathroom; I think she's going to be ok." I confided. I put the kettle on turning to him as he made himself comfortable.

"How are you doing?" I asked him leaning against the cabinet, eyes intent on him. He was silent for a few minutes as if trying to decide something.

"I can't believe it happened." He said finally. I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I don't think anyone can." I confessed. "Including Stella."

"It made me think anything can happen. I mean Stella's safe, she's careful all the time and this happened to her." He said helpless.

"You wouldn't be human if you didn't worry." I reassured him. I started automatically to make tea for three people in the tea pot. I knew Flack drank tea when he thought he'd had too much caffeine.

"What about you?" his voice was right behind me. I jumped. I turned finding him leaning on the work surface opposite to me. I set the mugs out in front of me.

""I'm doing ok..." I said still unsure of the honesty of that statement.

"I'm kind of worried about Lindsey though; she freaked out a bit about this whole thing." I looked up to see Flack's puzzled expression. I opened my mouth to speak as the bathroom door opened revealing Stella clad, in an elegant silk robe she'd obviously brought with her. She was towel drying her curly hair.

"Hey Don, I didn't realize you were here." Flack grinned in her direction.

"I came to check whether Devine here, was taking good care of you or not?" I snorted throwing a teabag at him. Both Stella and him laughed.

"Be thankful it wasn't a hot one." I said stirring the tea in the pot.

"I've made some tea if you want some." I told her holding up the tea pot. Stella nodded.

"I'm probably going to take the tea to bed if that's ok?" I poured her a cup out and added the milk.

"Of course it is." I said handing it to her and then went back to pouring mine and Flack's.

"Good night." Stella said before retreating to the bed room. I returned the gesture and handed Flack his own. He took it gratefully, and moved towards the couch. I took my usual seat at the end away from the mantle piece, and he took his on the opposite side.

"I let her have my room tonight. I thought she'd be more comfortable than in the spare." He nodded, distantly; I knew what he was thinking about.

"How are you doing really?" I asked. Flack tilted his head as if debated.

"I just keep going through the whole thing in my head. You know about how careful Stella is all the time." He said watching the ripples in his tea. I sipped from my mug.

"Frankie's gone now." I reminded him.

"Yea he is…but there's a million other Frankies out there." He commented. I shrugged.

"There's a million other Stellas too, maybe a whole of a lot more careful." I actually couldn't see how you could get more careful.

"So where do we go from here?" I asked my eyes on him intent. The startling blue eyes were on me suspicious.

"I meant after this incident with Stella." I told him firmly.

"Danny's got Lindsay's back, he was the on that calmed her down after the whole blowing up at the interview thing. We've got Stella. And Mac…Mac's got Mac. I guess the main thing this incident has shown me is that you're not untouchable, anything can happen to anyone." I admitted.

"What are you telling me you thought you were untouchable?" he asked me aghast. I gave him a dirty look.

"Of course not! I had someone else's hands wrapped around my throat last month. I know I'm not invincible." I shivered remembering Costa's eyes boring into me as his hands pressed down on my throat. I snuggled into the couch more.

"OK Scariest experience?" I said cradling my tea firmly in my hands. Flack tipped his head back starring at the ceiling for a minute; he turned his face to look at me.

"When I was a rookie, I got caught up in a shoot out. Bullets flying everywhere. I caught one in the chest. I was wearing a vest, but the shock, winded me, knocked me back straight on to the floor. I thought I dying, I was thinking about how I wouldn't see mom and Pops again, the things I never got to say. It really changed the way I looked on life for a while. I already know yours." His smile was genuine and warm. I rested my head on the couch not saying anything for a few minutes.

"If Elliot's death taught me anything, it's that life is precious." I confessed. I reached out putting my empty cup on the coffee table and then resettled myself into my previous position.

"I keep thinking about what would have happened if she wasn't so resourceful, if she hadn't grabbed that razor." I divulged.

"You think like that and your gonna start driving yourself crazy. She's here now, in your apartment, and she's safe." I bowed my head and stared at my hands.

"I know your right but why do I feel so scared?" I asked him, running a hand through my hair, settling my elbow in a position to prop up my head.

"The things put me on edge." I knew I'd started to ramble, but he said nothing to point that out. I let out a deep yawn. I put my hand over my mouth to cover it.

"I best be getting off, we're both on earlies tomorrow." He stood up, I followed suit.

"Earlies will be the death of me." I warned him darkly. Flack laughed gathering up his jacket and moving towards the door. He stopped before opening it, we feel into a mutual hug. I liked being here with him.

"Thanks for coming to check on us." I said pulling away reluctantly.

"It's my job." He shrugged opening the door. I felt a twinge of hurt run through me. He turned to face me.

"And besides I love you guys." He said ruffling my hair affectionately.

"I was just worried." He added. He crossed his arms over his chest frowning. I leaned in the door way, eyes never off him, a smile curving over my face.

"Well she's safe, we're safe, Frankie's dead, and if it helps I've always got a gun on me." He raised his eyebrows, his gaze going over my attire.

"You got one on you right now?" I rolled my eyes, reaching behind the door and yanking my Glock out of the drawer behind the front door.

"Always close to hand." I showed him it, and then returned it to its usual home.

"Sounds like you don't need me." He stated. I took a chance.

"I wouldn't say that." I pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"What you suddenly decide you need me now?" he asked, his expression unreadable.

"What… Where did this come from? Look I really like you Flack, I'm being honest and forth right about this." I stated.

"I like you a lot, I just… I wanna know where we stand." I said openly.

"Every day's like a yoyo with you, I'm never sure what I'm gonna be seeing each day." He snapped at me. I was taken a back.

"Right back at you. You remember that kiss…" he looked at me open mouthed. "You know the one where your pager went off." I was shouting at him right now.

"You started all this by running out, I didn't know what the hell was going on with you. I mean did it mean something to you because you sure as hell don't act like it. I don't know what the hell your thinking." I growled.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked exasperated. "You want me to tell you I like you? Do you? Because guess what Carmen I do. But we work together. And how do we keep those lives apart huh? Because we're running out of options here. I stared at him speechless.

"The lines are blurring too much. I'm sorry." He shook his head.

"I've gotta go. I can't be here." Suddenly he was gone. Tears pinpricked my eyes as I closed the door quietly assessing everything he'd just said.


	11. Chapter 11: Heroes

Chapter Eleven

_Everything's so blurry _

_And everyone's so fake_

_And everybody's empty_

_And everything is so messed up_

_Be occupied without you I can not live at all_

_My whole word surrounds you_

_I stumbled and I crawled._

_Puddle of Mudd - Blurry_

"Woah, that's bad." Stella remarked waving her hand in front of her face to clear the smell. I put my hand against my mouth fighting the urge to vomit.

"Man that is bad." I confirmed staring into the wreckage of the burnt out car and the body in it. I lifted the camera to take some pictures of the body.

"There's no telling what sex, age or anything about this person…" Stella said peering into the car.

"Best leaving the body to the coroner." I said packing the camera away.

"We'll get it towed back to the lab, and work on it there, it's the best way to preserve the evidence." Stella said getting out her cell phone. I nodded my agreement. I scanned the car looking for any prominent clues. Something on the arm rest caught my arm. A weird shaped indent. I frowned staring at it, trying to figure out what it was. Stella snapped her phone back as I pulled away, and began to pack my kit.

_You could be my someone_

_You can be my sea_

_You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene_

_Wonder what you're doing_

_Imagine where you are_

_There's ocean's in between us but that's not very far._

The silence that shrouded the room oppressed us all. Nobody could tear their eyes from the screen in front of us. Her eyes fixated on the room, creating the life that wasn't there anymore. Her smile…

"The bastard." I tore my eyes away from the screen, to the source of the voice. Danny stood entire body tense. Behind his glasses I saw him blinking rapidly, struggling to hide the tsunami of emotion that burned inside him. I watched as he lost the battle and left the room, glass door slamming so hard the glass shook. I found myself following him into the corridor.

"Danny!" I called after him. He stopped choking out a sob and punched the wall next to him. I cringed, but moved quickly towards him. He leant his arm against the wall, keeping his balance, head bowed. He was seething holding back sobs of rage and pain. I put my hand on his back rubbing it soothingly.

"Danny…" I hesitated. "I am so sorry."

My fingers stroked his back as I bent over bringing us face to face. He turned his head towards me. I could see the tears streaking his face. I put my arm around his shoulders. A muffled sound exploded from his mouth as he put his hand to it in attempt to stifle it. I slowly guided him towards me. The minute he clutched me all the emotion erupted from him. Harsh sobs wracked his whole body as the bruising grip he had on me tightened. It hurt like hell to see him like this. I held him tightly as all the pain took over him repeating the same phrase over and over again.

"She didn't deserve it."

_Can you take it all away?_

_Can you take it all away?_

_When you shoved it in my face _

_This thing you did to me_

"Is that him? Is that the bastard that killed Aidan?" The bellow of rage turned my head, forcing me to push the suspect into the room and towards Mac and Stella. I turned, stepping in the way of the furious Danny. He ploughed into me, almost knocking the air from my lungs. I placed my hands on his chest, pushing him away as gently as I could.

"Danny." I heard Mac's voice behind me. I swore under my breath.

"I'll take care of it Mac." I told him, shoving the raging Danny away from the doorway, me and the room. I heard the door slam behind me, before I rounded on Danny.

"Danny you've got to stop this. This has to go through the right channels. You know that." I tried to remind him. Danny's gaze followed the suspect through the glass. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me

"Listen to me now Messer." I snapped as he tried to get past me. I grabbed his arm digging my nails into the skin.

"Stop this now!" I growled. "He is a suspect, you shooting your mouth off or lashing out at him isn't going to help anyone, in fact if he is the killer it may off, and you fired. Do you think Aidan would have wanted that?" I was practically screaming at him now. Danny opened his mouth to say something. Out of nowhere I saw a hand clamp down on his shoulder. I followed it to find Flack moving in between us.

"She's right Danny." He said quietly, looking Danny directly in the eyes.

"Let them do their jobs, I know your hurt and angry, but all it's gonna get is you fired and nobody wants that. Trust me." I saw Danny's shoulders sag resigned as he gave in to Flack's words. Flack put an arm around his shoulders, guiding the other man towards the labs. I gave him a silent "thank you" as I watched them walk away.

_Everyone is changing _

_There's no left that's real_

_so make up your own ending_

_let me know just how you feel_

_Cause I am lost without you_

_I can not live at all_

_My whole worlds around you_

_I stumbled and I crawled_

"So she said "Sorry Messer, I'm out of your league."" I swigged my glass of beer, laughing with all the others. I hadn't known Aidan as well as the others but I'd met her once or twice. I liked her tough attitude. I watched as poured more beer into his pitcher and then into Danny's. Aidan's death had hit them both hard. I didn't realize how hard. I didn't even know that Don was that close to Aidan. Looking over at Lindsey whose eyes were on Danny I sighed. Good Luck on that front. By the time the bar tender had shooed us out the bar only me, Danny, Flack and Lindsey remained. I gave Lindsey a sympathetic look over Danny's head. The guys were in a worst state than the both of us, but I knew I was pretty bad. I was getting drowsy just standing here. I hailed a cab as Lindsey attempted to support the legless Danny, who was babbling about how much he missed Aidan. I knew later on would be worse.

"I'm gonna get a cab with him, make sure he manages to get to bed without vomiting." Lindsey said as I helped her load Danny into the cab.

"I'll do the same as him." I said nodding in Flack's direction. I'd managed to sit him against the outside of the bar, where at the current moment he was being repeatedly sick. Waving Lindsey off, I managed to hail another cab, and then returned back to Flack who was leaning against the wall now, taking deep breaths.

"How are you feeling now?" I asked ignoring the contents of his stomach on the floor.

"Much better now." He said attempting to stand up; he fell against me as his knees buckled.

"Sure you are." I said putting his arm around me so I could take some of his weight. Somehow after forcing Flack into the cab despite his feeble attempts at telling me he could walk and trying to escape the cab, I gave the cab driver my address. There was no way I was leaving Flack alone in this state especially since he managed to vomit on a passer byes shoes when I got him out of the cab. The man was equally as drunk and didn't seem to mind.

_Nobody told me what you found_

_Nobody told me what to say_

_Everyone showed you where to turn_

_Showed where to run away._

Flack's arm on my shoulder weighted a ton as I tried to accompany him up the stairs.

"I think you need to lose a few pounds Don." I remarked dryly struggling to get him the last few steps.

"Are you calling me fat?" he muttered pointing at me.

"Because I'll have you know I was captain…" I cut him off.

"I'm not calling you fat." I said as I propped him against the wall next to the doorway.

"I'm sure you called me fat." I shook my head.

"You're just really heavy when you're drunk." I told him. Kicking open the door, I ushered him though before he could raise his voice any louder and wake up my neighbours. I closed the door and turned to find the living room empty and my bedroom door wide open.

"I'm not drunk!" Don exclaimed from it. I went in shaking my head.

"You very drunk." I said looking up to see his pants being flung in my direction. I let out a shriek as they landed on my face. I pulled them off throwing them on the floor and glared at the now passed out Flack, half naked, face towards me. I took a deep breath and exhaled. Guess I was sleeping in the spare room tonight. Feeling a little dizzy I moved into the kitchen getting the mop bucket out of the tiny closet. Returning to the bedroom, I leaned on the bed and over Flack, dropping it onto Flack's side of the bed, in case he felt the need to vomit. I slipped on the way back over Flack landing on my back. As soon as my head hit the pillow I could feel myself fighting an irresistible urge to sleep. Flack moaned in his sleep, his arm falling across me. Finding his arm to heavy to lift, and the bed a little too comfortable to leave, I turned on my side and let sleep take me.


	12. Chapter 12: Good Morning

Chapter Twelve

_How you spend your minutes is all that matters_

_All tomorrows come from yesterdays_

_When you're feeling broken bruised_

_And sometimes shattered_

_Blow out the candles on the cake_

_Like everything's a big mistake._

_Bon Jovi – I Am_

I stirred, groaning at the banging in my head. Something warm was pressed against my back, someone breathing on my neck. My eyes snapped open remembering the final moments of last night. I felt Flack's arm pulling me closer as he moaned in his sleep. His breath tickled my neck. I edged away from him, little by little. His arm still held me captive. I cringed remembering the lack of clothes on Flack's body. Lifting his arm as calmly as I could to try to shift my body underneath and away from him. Don rolled over knocking me off the bed as he did so. I fell off it with a huge thud. Flack's eyes opened instantly, his focus on me. I let out a tiny shriek. Don lifted his head, frowning at me sitting on the floor. Looking down at himself he yanked the covers over his body, glaring at me.

"Where are my clothes?" he growled from beneath the mound of covers. I threw his pants at him.

"Don't look at me I didn't take them off, you did that all by yourself." I retorted. Flack over at my rumpled slept in clothes, as I stood up. I rolled my eyes.

"You got so drunk, I had to lug you up the stairs, you started whining abut how I called you fat, which by the way I didn't. Then you ran in here, threw your pants at me and pretty much passed out." Flack stared at me open mouthed. I smiled wickedly before leaving the room.

"By the way blue's a great colour for you." I chuckled to myself whilst going to the kettle to make coffee, and to retrieve the pain killers I'd tucked away somewhere. I glanced at my phone on the way. I snatched it up seeing four missed calls from Mac. Instantly I hit the redial.

"Hey Mac. What's up?" I asked yawning. I spooned coffee into two mugs.

"Carmen?" he sounded surprised.

"Yes it's me." I stated pouring the hot water into the mugs.

"I know it's your day off, but I'm short handed, I need you to come in." I checked my watch, and then used a spoon to stir the coffee.

"I'll can make it in an hour?" I said adding milk.

"That's great, tell Flack to get in too." I froze.

"What?" I responded, staring down at the coffee mugs.

"You rang me back on his phone; I guessed he'd just crashed at yours after the state he was in."

"His phone?" I repeated.

"I'll see you in an hour." Mac hung up, I pulled the phone away staring at it.

"Shit." I murmured slamming Flack's phone down on the work surface as he exited the bedroom, wearing his crumpled suit, he shrugged his jacket on.

"What's up?"

"Mac wants us in, in an hour; I just rang him back from your phone." I said. Flack's eyes widened.

"What? I didn't do it on purpose." I said Flack said nothing and just picked his phone up and slipped it into his jacket. I knew he was mad at me; he didn't want any rumours of our non relationship tainting his reputation.

"He knows that you just crashed." I thrust a cup of coffee into his hand. He looked down at it and sighed.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. "I'm a bad morning person."

"Really I never would of guessed." I smirked sipping my own coffee. I slide the packet of headache tablets towards him. He took them gratefully. He checked his watch, gulping the coffee down.

"I'm going home to grab a shower and change. I'll pick you up as soon as I'm done." I smiled appreciatively. I led him to the door.

"I owe you a coffee." He said as I handed him his badge.

"Catch you later." I waved, closing the door behind him.


	13. Chapter 13: An Act of Heroism

Chapter Thirteen

_All men need to accept their fate_

_And I see no bravery, no bravery_

_In your eyes anymore_

_Only sadness._

_James Blunt – No Bravery_

I tapped my fingers patiently on my arm as Mac put his head in the place where the ceiling tile should have been. I looked at Flack worried, his head tilted up gazing at Mac, trying to figure out.

"We've got a bomb, pull the alarm." Mac's yell snapped us both into action. Don hit the fire alarm first. The word "bomb" was echoing through my mind as Mac hurried down the ladder. We were suddenly in the corridor. I pounded the door in front of me before opening it, and holding for the people scurrying out. Down the hall I watched Mac and Don do the same. I moved onto the next door kicking it open.

"Clear."

"Clear."

"Clear." All three of us moved towards the exit where we'd come from. I noise clattered behind us, making us stop dead and turn. A young man, with massive head phones on peered out lifting up on head phone.

"What's going on?" Don was the first to answer him yelling over the noise of the alarm.

"Get the hell out of here, there's a bomb!" He ran past us and down the stairs in the direction we'd previously come. I breathed a sigh of relief as we started moving again. In my haste, the camera in my hands slid from my grasp and hit the tiled floor with a abrupt bang. Automatically I reached out to pick it up. Don grabbed my arm yanking me in front of him, and shoving me forwards to the stairwell.

"Leave it." he shouted over the alarm, urging me forward with a firm hand on my back. In the distance, a low rumbling sound…

Flack turned as I did. I grabbed hold of his hand instinctively, to pull him along with me away from the bomb. A massive force hit me, throwing me backwards through the air. I felt Flack's hand slipping from mine as I fell into oblivion.

"Carmen? Carmen…?" I jumped, stumbling out of the reverie. Stella's warm smile lingered in front of me.

"Are you alright your shaking?" she said gripping my trembling hands. I stared down at them.

"I…I think I had a flashback." I said putting my hands on the flat surface and took a deep breath.

"It's time to go home Carmen." She said softly. I let out a shaky breath, bowing my head. Stella's arm went around my shoulders.

"Here I'll take you home." She said kindly. I cleared my throat pushing the tears from my eyes.

"I think…" I looked at my hands again. The shaking had died down now, but it was still there, faint, almost undetectable.

"I think I'm gonna go to the hospital…see Don." I told her. Stella nodded coming up with a better proposal.

"Why don't I take you home first, you can shower and change and then meet Mac at the hospital." I gave her a worn smile.

"That sounds great." I confessed.

"Come on then." She said gently guiding me from the office. I relaxed letting her take charge and repay the favour she felt she owed me.


	14. Chapter 14: Waking Up

Chapter Fourteen

_When you're close to tears remember _

_Some day it'll all be over_

_One day we're gonna get so high._

_Lighthouse Family – Forever You and Me_

Both me and Stella stood on the other side of the glass pane of the recovery room. My eyes rested on Flack's face, surprised about how peaceful he looked. I took a deep breath and moved towards the door, eventually I'd force myself to step over the threshold and into his room. The doctors said he was in a coma. I couldn't get the word out of my head. Flack didn't deserve to be in a coma. He didn't deserve to be here.

"I was with him just this morning." I admitted to Stella. She studied my face, not judging.

"We both passed out last night; he was still there when I woke up. I feel like I took it for granted." I confessed.

"It always feels like that." She informed me.

"But he is still here, just don't waste anymore time, is all I can say." Her smile was genuine, her advice sound.

All the fear that was bottled up in me swilled in my stomach as I reached for the door handle, and pushed it open. Mac's head rose as we stepped inside, closing the door behind us. He returned his gaze to Don's face for a brief second, his hand still on the younger man's.

"He squeezed my hand before." Mac said softly with a tiny chuckle. I felt the tears rise in my eyes. I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Come on Mac, it's time for you to go home, Carmen's going to sit with him." Stella murmured quietly. Mac's face was weary, it occurred to me he hadn't been home since the blast this morning. I watched as he stood up.

"The other's have been and gone." Mac told me. I nodded in reply, my eyes never wavering from Don's face. Stella embraced me affectionate.

"Take care of him." I said looking pointedly in Mac's direction.

"I will." She promised, herding the tired Mac out of the room. I settled down into a seat next to Flack's bed and reached out my still trembling hand to hold his. To my surprise it was warm. Tears stung my eyes as I kissed his hand tenderly. Would he ever some out of this? The doctors didn't know, they said it all depended on Flack.

_Though it's darker than December._

_What's ahead is a different colour_

_One day we're gonna get so high._

"Hey Don, it's me Carmen. I just, I need to tell you something. I wanna say than you for saving my life again. If it wasn't for your courage, things would have been a lot worse." Tears escaped my eyes sliding down my cheeks.

"I should have said something this morning; I should have pulled you out of the way." Don gave me no admission that he'd even heard me. The life support machine beeped on in the background. I took a deep breath, taking the book out of my bag and slipped it on the night stand.

"I brought you something. If you wake up soon, you can have it as a thank you present. It's a first edition of War and Peace. It was going to be a birthday present, but I can't see that far a head right now."

_At the end of the day_

_Remember the days when we were close to the edge_

_And wondered how we made it through the night._

The door to the room opened startling me. I twisted my head towards it. An older man and woman sporting traits from Flack Jnr entered. I stood up out of respect.

"I'm sorry I didn't know you were coming. I'll leave." I bolted towards the door.

"You'll do no such thing." Donald Flack Senior stated sternly. He put his hand on my arm, and gave me a welcoming smile.

"Donald Flack Senior." He said shaking my hand. "This is my wife Katherine." I shook Mrs Flack's hand; I stretched out too far, feeling the stitches in my side pull. I ignored the feeling, fixing a smile on my face.

"Call me Kathy." She said brightly.

"Carmen…Carmen Devine." I said dryly. Don Senior's eyes matching blue eyes widened.

"Don's mentioned you a few times." I flushed red at his words until I noticed Cathy staring at my chest. I frowned following her gaze.

"Honey, your bleeding." She said, opening her bag, she removed several tissues. Blood was spreading thickly onto my white shirt creating a nice neat stain.

"Let's find a doctor." Before I could protest Kathy had hold of my hand and was leading me to the nearest man in a white coat.

After returning with fresh stitches and gauze, I found myself sitting across from Flack's parents. All eyes on were Don. The silence thickened until Flack Senior broke it.

"Where you injured in the blast?" he asked me. I grimaced and nodded my head, waiting with apprehension for the next question.

"Where you there with my son…When he… when it happened?" he pressed quietly. I turned my full attention to both of Flack's parents.

"Yes."

"Can you… Can you tell us what happened? All we know was a bomb went off, and the bomber's been caught but…" he trailed off. I opened my mouth to speak. To tell them the details weren't pretty. Kathy cut me off.

"Spare us nothing; we want to know what happened to our son." Resigned I nodded glancing at Don's face, I owed them the truth. They deserved it.

"Firstly your son is a brilliant and brave man; he helped people escape the building without a thought for himself. He…" I hesitated.

"He even saved my life." They watched and listened as I told them the truth, I spared no details, I kept the whole thing honest describing everything step by step. By the time I finished I was sobbing, the shame leaking from me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Your son was so brave." I murmured into my hands.

A voice next to me broke through my cries.

"I liked the part where I saved the beautiful heroine." My head shot up, vivid blue eyes met mine. Don flashed me a weak smile.

"You're forgetting the part where you saved me." I looked away, as fresh tears erupted streaming down my face. Flack squeezed my hand lightly, before being set on by his parents.

Feeling out of place I inched out of the door, leaning against the wall, I let out the biggest sigh of relief in my life. I brushed the tears from my eyes feeling stupid. There were so many things I wanted to tell him.

_Don't you think it's time we started_

_Doing what we always wanted_

_One day we're gonna get so high_

_Cause even the impossible_

_Is easy when we've got each other_

_One day we're gonna get so high_

I debated ringing the others but decided against it reasoning Flack needed more rest; I didn't want him to feel overwhelmed.

The door next to me opened, I turned to see Kathy and Donald Senior leaving the room.

"He's asking for you." Kathy told me. A ghost of a smile crossed my lips.

"We're going to get something to eat from the canteen, you want anything?" I shook my head and was suddenly surprised to find Kathy's arms around me, hugging me close.

"Thank you…Thank you so much for saving our son." She whispered. I felt a burst of pride.

"I know you think otherwise but between you and Mac you managed to save his life, and truly we're grateful." She pulled away dabbing at her own eyes, a smile beaming her beautiful face.

"We'll see you in a few minutes." She said waving at me as they walked towards the elevator.

Without as much as a thought I stepped into Flack's room, instantly at his side.

"Hey why'd you disappear so soon? Am I that bad?" I said nothing; instead I leaned forward wrapping my arms as best I could around his neck, absorbing his smell, and the sense of him.

"I was so scared." I confessed, feeling his own grip around me tighten.

"I know."

I pulled away my face inches from his, his goofy smile spread across his facial features.

"I am so happy to see that smile." I said kissing his nose gently.

"Me too." He mumbled running his hands through my hair. I moved away reluctant, guilt rushing over me.

"I better call Mac and the others. They'll want to know you've woken up." I paused for a second.

"I missed you Don." I told him figuring, I had nothing to lose. He smiled wearily; I could see his eye lids drooping.

"I'll let you get some rest." I said patting his arm and moving away, he caught my hand in his, tugging me back to the bed.

"Stay." He murmured. I felt the smile curve across my lips. I smoothed the hair away from his forehead brushing it with my lips gently.

"I promise." He squeezed my hand, before closing his eyes and drifting into what I hope was a dreamless sleep. Silently I thanked God for deciding that Donald Flack had the right to live.

_Remember it was me and you_

_Cause we are gonna be_

_Forever you and me_

_Always keep me flying high on the sky of love._


	15. Chapter 15: Night Terrors

**Part Two**

Chapter Fifteen

_Catch me as I fall_

_Say you're here and it's all over now_

_Speaking to the atmosphere_

_No one's here when I fall into myself_

_I know I can stop the pain f I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

_Don't turn away_

_Evanescence – Whisper_

Heat rushed out of my chest at an alarming rate, as pain riddled my body. Head tilted back I heard the mixed sobs escaping my lips. Sticky liquid flowed matting my top to my body. I struggled to breathe feeling the pressure on my chest.

"Carmen…" The voice came in a whisper. I shuddered unable to force myself to respond. The debris above me was shifting. I watched it unable to move, unable to tear my eyes away.

"Carmen…" The voice called me distantly; I managed to move my head towards it. A loud creaking noise erupted in my ears, forcing my gaze upwards. Still unable to move I let out a hysterical sob as it fell towards me.

"Carmen…" I shrieked, eyes snapping open at the last possible minute. Darkness surrounded me, tears rushing down my cheeks. My heart pounded in my chest, thudding painfully. A sob escaped me. I found myself encased in something warm and solid. I screamed in blind panic, shoving it away from me, but it was still there holding on.

"Carmen…stop, stop." Flack's voice penetrated my ears. I cried harder pushing the thing away from me.

"Carmen, I'm here…shh I'm here." Flack's hands were on my shoulders, he pulled away from me, showing me his face. I tilted my head up towards him realizing that yet again I'd had another nightmare. Tears erupted from me as it dawned on me. Flack's hand went to the back of my neck drawing me softly towards him.

"It was just another nightmare. You're safe." I clung to his t-shirt, rubbing my face against him. His hand caressed my hair gently. My face flushed red as I pulled away wiping the tears from my eyes, Flack's hand went to the desk side light flicking it on. The dim light highlighted his features. His dark hair was tousled from sleep; his bright blue eyes were on me. His hands were on my arms. His mere touch was soothing me. I rubbed my hands on my face, letting out a deep sigh. Four fucking months down the line and I was still having nightmares. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to gather myself. It had been this way since the explosion. I woke most nights like this sweat pouring from me. The only difference now was that Flack had practically been living with me the past month. After leaving hospital he decided to stay with me a few days, he needed to be under constant supervision. A few days, stretched to a few weeks and now a month. I didn't mind I liked having Flack around. I don't know how he did it but sometimes in the night when I had the nightmares, he was there, next to me, holding me. I raked my hand through my long wavy auburn hair shaking. Flack brought his feet up onto the bed, his elbows resting on his pyjama covered knees, his hands clasped together. His eyes were on me unflinching. I looked away ashamed.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, glancing around the room. Flack bowed his head.

"You say that every time and every time I tell you there's no need to apologize." He said softly.

"What time is it?" I asked, he glanced at the watch on his wrist.

"A little after three." He told me. I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

"I've got to be in work in four hours." I put my hand against my forehead. Flack stood up, I settled down into bed, and moved over resting my head on the pillow. Flack pulled the sky blue covers over me and then climbed on top if the bed. Resting his head on the pillow next to me, I found myself gazing into the vivid blue. A tiny gap between us, I felt my eyes beginning to close. I tried to keep them open, wanting to focus on Don.

"Hey, try and get some sleep. I'll stay here and watch over you ok?" I nodded briefly relaxing at the sound of his voice, I found myself slipping into sleep.


	16. Chapter 16: Aftermath

Chapter Sixteen

_You'll rescue me right?_

_In the exact same way they never did_

_I'll be happy right? _

_When your healing powers kick in_

_Precious Illusions – Alanis Morrisette_

I yawned slipping into my seat at the kitchen table. My gaze went disbelievingly to Flack who slipped the steaming coffee mug in front of me.

"Do you sleep ever?" I mumbled, taking a gulp of the bitter substance. Flack dropped into his usual chair flicking through the news paper brightly.

"Sometimes." I shook my taking a bite out of the toast he'd made me.

"How are you doing this morning?" I asked him cautious. Flack's eyes remained on the paper.

"A bit better." We ran through this line of speech every morning, and every morning was the same. We didn't kid our selves, Don's progress was slow, yet he was recovering quickly. I sighed, yet I was hopeful. The physical trauma caused by the bomb blast had rendered Don with problems with the muscles in his chest. Sometimes I forgot that he'd even been in the blast. All the physiotherapy he'd encountered in hospital had aided him in getting back into the basics. Light lifting, walking, talking he could all do normally, but sometimes, when he laughed too much, or carried something too heavy, I could see the pain in his face, and it brings the whole experience back to mind. I liked living with Flack, I worried less about him, and it was nice having someone to come home to. The spare room had become Flack's, piled with clothes, books, and cds. Memories of last night returned. I pushed them away. My eyes on Flack, I found myself wondering if he ever had the nightmares, or whether he just managed to hide them better.

"I've got an early shift." I told him distantly enjoying my coffee.

"I'll be back sometime after noon. You want to do something tonight?" I asked. Flack glanced up I noticed his hand was on his chest, supporting the injury. I frowned but said nothing. He hated the fuss I made over it.

"I'd like that." He said with an honest smile. I loved the way he was so positive. In the first few months Flack had suffered a major depression, but had the willpower to push himself out of it and get on as much as he could manage. We fell into an easy silence.

"What are your plans for today?" I asked eating the rest of my toast. Flack closed the paper and folded it neatly.

"I'm gonna go swimming." He declared. I looked up sharply. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry the doctor cleared it. Something about water therapy and exercise is good to rebuild my strength." He stated matter of factly

"Actually he also cleared desk duty if you wanna mention it to Mac." I put down the empty coffee mug.

"Do you want me to mention it to Mac?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Just being around here, and watching you leave to go for work, even with your reduced hours is driving me insane. I feel useless. Even desk work is looking appetizing." Flack confessed. I found myself staring at him.

"You must really be going crazy." I stood up, pushing my chair under the table. Flack gave me a grim smile.

"Ok…Ok…I'll talk to Mac." I told Flack, grabbing my dark green velvet jacket and slipping it onto my shoulders. Don stood up, my keys dangling from his fingers. I took them from him grateful.

"I'll catch you later." I said yanking the door shut behind me, wondering if Flack had slept at all last night.


	17. Chapter 17: Chatting Flack

Chapter Seventeen

_What would you do if you had_

_Just one little pill in your hand_

_That changed around all you could be_

_Helped you forget what you see_

_The Calling – Your Hope_

The lab was quiet; it was one of those rare occasions where work was slow. The nightshift appeared to have been a little excessive when clearing up the scenes last night. Sheldon and Stella had taken a case in the Bronx, leaving the rest of us to catch up on paper work. I sat in my office reading through the report in front of me. Lindsey appeared in front of the door knocking lightly. I smiled tilting my head towards her.

"Mac wants to see you in his office." The confusion in her face matched mine. I got out of my seat, and walked slowly towards Mac's office puzzling over the things I should have done recently. My mental checklist ticked them off one by one. I rapped on Mac's door, stepping into the room before he could say a word closing it behind me.

"Carmen." He looked up gesturing to the chair in front of me. I took the seat and settled into it eyes on Mac waiting for him to begin.

"What's up?" I asked weary. There was never the right time to accept a grilling off Mac. Mac reached forward pushing a small white paper envelope towards me. I picked up examining the name on the front.

"The chief of police wanted me to give this to Flack; I was wondering if you'd pass it a long." I stared at the envelope remorse and anger rushing through me.

"Mac is this…?" Mac shook his head catching my drift.

"They're not giving him the pink slip, it's an invitation to a ball in a few months, for the Orphans of 9/11. You've got one in your pigeon hole." He confirmed. I let out a sigh of relief. Turning my attention to the matter at hand I smiled.

"I take it your going?" I said already knowing the answer. Mac was leaning forward on his desk.

"It's for a good cause." His attention was focused solely on me. He leaned back in his chair entwining his fingers. His eyes were on mine.

"The reason I called you into this office is to discuss your current situation."

"Situation?" I questioned, leaning my elbows on the chair, I twisted in my chair.

"You know the one with you and Flack."

"What in particular?" I asked pointedly, having no idea where this was going.

"Just how are you getting on in general? How is Flack getting on?" Mac was asking me to tell him the truth; luckily he'd gained my trust along time ago.

"A month out of hospital and he wants to be back in work. He asked me to talk to you about a desk job." I confessed, looking at my hands.

"I know he misses the job, he misses the ability to do things normally, he just wants his life back. He's positive, no signs of depression. He exercises regularly; he'd even gone swimming today. He's trying to stay active all the time. Danny helps out a lot too. I think he's ready Mac." I told him honestly.

"I'll have a word with his chief see what options there are." I smiled widely. Mac twisted his pen, leaning on the desk.

"What about you? How are you doing?" I shrugged.

"Carmen, nothing you say will leave this office. Having someone move in with you especially someone who needs a consistent care is a big thing. I just want to know how your doing." I settled back into my seat, and tore my gaze away from Mac.

"You know what's dumb?" I said fiddling with my hands.

"He's the one with the physical injury, he's the one that came off worst, yet he helps me out a lot more than I help him. I…I have these nightmares. Four months down the line and I'm still having them. I wake up in the night and I'm screaming, but he's there, he's always there, holding me…calming me down. Yet I've never heard anything from his room, not a peep. I know he must have them…" I trailed off, biting my lip.

"That's dumb right?" I said, peering at Mac through my hair. Mac shook his head.

"Not at all. Flack was physically wounded he spent most of his time in and out of consciousness. It was a traumatic event but there's a possibility he doesn't remember a lot about the event. The mind blocks out things that it can't comprehend sometimes. It may just be a case of the fact that you see him at his weakest all the time due his physical injury. You've seen him at some real low points and maybe he doesn't want you to see how the events effecting him emotionally. Flack's a very proud man." Mac explained. I leaned forward with interest.

"It's like you, there are things that you don't remember, I mean last time we talked, all you remember was sitting on that pile of debris. I mean before that you were searching almost frantically for Flack, before you actually went into shock." Mac had told me this before hand but I still found it hard to believe. I put my fingers on my temples, massaging them.

"Your right, I know you are."

"How are you coping generally I mean you just took Flack on full time." I crossed my legs.

"It wasn't a conscious decision." I confessed.

"When he got out, he needed to be monitored constantly, and I felt I owed it to him, he saved my life. I got past it, I like having him around."

Mac nodded his gaze not wavering from my face.

"How's the relationship between you both?" I tilted my head from side to side in attempt to figure out an answer. I didn't even know that answer myself.

"The friendships solid." I told him finally, he looked at me pointedly.

"Stella's worried about how you doing?" The revelation wasn't entirely surprising.

"She took care of me, after the blast. I started getting flashback for a small period of time; she was a rock for me. In the end I took her advice and went to see the department shrink." I informed her.

"So I can tell her you're doing fine?" he asked with a tiny smile. I nodded returning the gesture.

"What about you?" I said softly. Mac's focus was on the papers in front of him.

"Fine." The answer was short, telling me he didn't want to address the issue. Briefly I wondered if Mac turned to anyone. I stood up twirling the envelope in my fingers.

"I'll see what Don says about this, it may do him some good." Mac stepped around his desk opening the door for me.

"If you need to talk you know where my office is, call me or them." I followed his gaze around the lab, seeing Stella and Hawkes walking past, Danny and Lindsey talking by the Trace Lab. I turned to Mac, bowing my head.

"I know, I promise." He closed the door behind me as I stepped into the labs.


	18. Chapter 18: Midnight Tiptoe

Chapter Eighteen

_We all drink to forget_

_Some of us more than most_

_When reality gets to real_

_And the fires of hell too close_

_Keith Urban – Your Not Alone Tonight_

Standing in the kitchen at four in the morning making Horlicks was the lowest of the low for me. I prided myself on never needing sleeping remedies, and look at me now. I reached out for the kettle to flick it on. That was when I heard it. A low moan, so quiet I wasn't entirely sure I'd heard it. I stopped what I was doing and listened out in the silent apartment. The feeble little noise penetrated the silence. I took a step forward troubled. A series of weak grunts led me outside Flack's bed room door. Taking a deep breath I raised my hand and knocked. Getting no reply I opened the door as gently as I could and peered through into the lamp light. My eyes fell on the open copy of "War and Peace" on the nightstand next to the lamp I allowed myself a small smile, before stepping into the room and glancing at Flack. He cried out suddenly.

_I'm here to let you know that you can make it through_

_If you believe that someone's watching over you._

I rushed to his side. His body thrashed wildly against the covers, sweat drenched his body. Eyes tightly clenched shut, and hair sticking up at different angles, the fear in his face was adamant. He called out again. The desperation in that moan hit me hard. I knew he was having a nightmare. By the look of it a bad one.

I found myself kneeling on the bed next to him, my hands going to his shoulders, shaking him gently.

"Don wake up." I spoke softly trying to ease him out of sleep. I shook him a little harder.

"Don!"

His eyes flickered open suddenly, his body bolted upright in bed as he let out a choked gasp. I knew that fear. I put my arms around him, guiding his head to my shoulder, trying to sooth the disorientation. I cradled his head smoothing his hair at the back, murmuring into his ear what I hoped were calming words. His arms moved around me gradually, clasping me tightly as he buried his head into my hair. A deep shudder rocked his body, a violent sob escaping his lips. It was then he began to cry. I felt the moistness on my shoulder begin to grow. I closed my eyes and held him tighter.

_Call it an angel_

_Call it a muse_

_Call it karma you've got coming to you_

_What's the difference?_

_What's in a name?_

_What matters most is never losing faith_

_Because it's going to be alright _

_Your not alone tonight._

I'm not sure how long it took, but eventually the sobs turned to deep breaths as Don tried to regain control over himself. I felt his whole body tense. He pulled away, his gorgeous blue eyes still glistening. He opened his mouth to say something, anything…I pressed a finger against his lips with a tiny smile.

"It's fine." I told him, helping him settle back into his original sleeping position. I lay down next to him and tugged the warm cream quilt over us.

"I'll stay tonight." I said taking his hand underneath the quilt. Flack let out a deep breath before nodding. He reached out pulling me closer towards him, I cradled his head against my chest, kissing his forehead as he wrapped is arms around me tightly. I watched his eyes close serenely, hoping that right now he was feeling as safe as I was.


	19. Chapter 19: Breakfast For Two

Chapter Nineteen

_And as you sleep_

_Eyes to the window_

_I'm watching you dream_

_Are you dreaming of me?_

_The Calling – Anything_

He stood in the door way, arms folded, watching her chest rise and fall slowly. Her wavy hair cascaded across her back, her arms she held a large portion of his quilt. The light from the sun hit her at just the right angle reminding him of a sleeping angel. The kettle in the kitchen went off. With great reluctance he tore himself away from her and moved into the kitchen and poured the pancake batter into the already hot frying pan. Distant memories form last night flooded his thoughts, guilt flooding through him, shame even.

Is that what she said she felt when she woke up? Where was the logic in that?

The nightmares he'd fought them off for so long, hidden them from the world. All those nights he'd slipped into her bed room, hearing her cry out in the night, he'd been awake avoiding the need to face them. He flipped the pancake over. She saw everything, she always had, she'd been the rock, the solace he needed, and now she knew everything. He knew she'd wondered about the nightmares, but now she'd seen it. She'd seen him at his weakest and now what? Where did they go from here? Then there was the other news how would she take that? Sighing he slipped the pancake onto the plate and then began another one pouring more batter into the pan.

The smell of coffee and pancakes was heaven to wake up to. I rolled on my back putting my hand over my eyes to shield them from the sun that was now shining on my face. The smell from the kitchen could only be Flack making breakfast. Yawning I forced myself out of bed and stumbled towards the door. The black strap top and pyjama bottoms I'd taken to wearing when Flack moved in here stuck to me. I looked down at myself in distaste, especially since Flack always managed to look like the poster boy for a pyjama advertisement.

I settled down into my seat as Flack turned around with an affectionate smile and a plateful of pancakes. I took it from him gratefully, pouring syrup on it. He slid down into this seat brandishing coffee and his own plate. I took a bite from my pancakes savouring the flavour.

"This is a great way to wake up in the morning." I beamed at him. Flack picked at his food, I frowned.

"Afternoon." He corrected, taking a small bite from his pancakes. I stopped dead almost dropping my fork. Flack chewed happily glancing up at me.

"It's afternoon." He confirmed, I stared at him for a second and jumped to my feet.

"Shit, I was supposed to be in work two hours ago." The look on Don's face stopped me dead.

"Relax, I called Mac, he gave you the day off, we both agree you've been working to hard lately both here and in the labs. I know you haven't been sleeping properly." He stated. I settled into my seat stunned. Don moved his pancakes around his plate.

"Actually Carmen we need to talk." I found myself suddenly edgy.

"The chief called today, we wanted to see if I could start back at work next week, four hour shifts, and its all desk duty for the next month. But then they'll see what they can do depending on how I'm feeling." I focused on my pancakes

"And how do you feel about that?" I asked. Flack shrugged his eyes on me.

"I feel like someone's got my back." He told me. I knew his gaze was intent. I shovelled more pancake into my back.

"How do you feel about the ball?" It was in a month and we hadn't talked about it.

"It'll give me an opportunity to show people that I'm better, first major social event since the explosion, give me a chance to show how I'm doing." I grinned, hiding it behind my coffee cup.

"You got a date or you flying solo?" I ribbed him playfully. Flack ate some pancake tilting his head.

"I've been thinking of asking this girl. She's beautiful, smart…"

"Where'd you meet her?" I asked gulping my coffee.

"Work." My curiosity was peaked.

"Lab tech?" I said carefully, pushing my empty plate away from me. Flack shook his head.

"Higher."

"Lindsey?" I gaped. Don shook his head.

"I got it." I grinned jabbing my fork in his direction.

"Danny, I thought I noticed some chemistry there." Flack shot me a death glare.

"Is she on night shift?" I questioned running through all the females I knew. I stood up clearing the dishes away. I felt mild annoyance building up in me.

"You suck at this game." Flack said. I rolled my eyes, turning to face him.

"Do you need a hand moving your stuff out next week?" I asked him. Flack stood up brushing past me to put his plate in the sink. We'd discussed this last week, it had always been on the cards. It would be weird living on my own again but I was glad he was getting back on his feet. I would miss having him around though.

"Danny's giving me a hand but the more the merrier." He remarked dryly.

"By the way Stella rang before she wants to go shopping in about an hour." He said raising his eyebrows after glancing at his watch. I threw the dishcloth at him.

"Dress shopping, but if you ask nicely I'll get you something nice for your "date"." I couldn't hide the annoyance in my voice. Flack acted as if he hadn't heard it.

"I think Stella's making a girl's day out of it." He continued.

"You, Danny and Sheldon making a boy's day out?" I returned. Flack gave me a huge grin.

"After a few beers any tuxedo looks good." I smiled at his comment.

"That go for your women too?"

"I'll have you know I have a lot of good taste in women." I looked at him sceptical.

"Dead girls don't say no?"

"Ouch you're on a roll today."

I shrugged at him, watching as he watched the dishes.

"I'm gonna go get a shower, get ready for Stella." With that I marched into the bathroom and turned the shower on full blast, cursing Flack on the fact he moved on so quickly.


	20. Chapter 20: Road Rage

Chapter Twenty

_There's nothing left for you to prove_

_Oh look what you've done_

_You've made a fool of everyone_

_Oh well it seemed like such fun_

_Until you lose what you have won_

_Jet – Look What You've Done_

One Month Later

The streets were filled with snow. I stood next to Danny staring at the house over the road.

"Nice quiet neighbour hood." I remarked kicking at the snow on the sidewalk with the tip of my boot. I shivered inside my long clack woollen coat. My dark red scarf was wrapped around my neck tightly. To keep out the cold. I nestled down into it.

"You look like your about to rob a train." Danny sniggered at me. I glared at him, picking up my kit.

"I'm never going to get used to New York winters." I whined. I heard a car starting up down the road. Nice quiet neighbourhood.

"I'll meet you over the road, I need to talk to talk to Lily over there, Aidan was dating him when…" he trailed off. I nodded.

"Go ahead." I said from behind my scarf, waving him off with my gloved hand before stepping out into the road. I was midway across when I heard the roar of the engine.

"Carmen!" I heard Danny's voice as I froze seeing head lights coming straight at me.

Something ploughed into me knocking me forward onto the sidewalk and into snow. Icy coldness rushed through me. Danny lay on top of me; we turned out heads seeing the car swerve across the ice, smashing into the wall. The cold was beginning to seep through my coat as we watched the patrol cops rush to the car tugging O'Reilly out.

"Do I have to save your ass every time we're at a scene Devine?" Danny said crawling off on top of me. I pushed myself onto my hands and knees wheezing. The sudden impact with the sidewalk had winded me. I clutched my side.

"Jesus Messer, if you wanted me that badly you could of said something before going all cavemen on me." Danny reached a hand and tugged me to my feet, brushing the snow off myself. Danny looked down at his jacket checking out the sleeve.

"Oh man this was new." He said staring at the huge tear in it.

"That's what you get for jumping me." I teased. Danny rolled his eyes, taking my arm and pulling me back to the car gently.

"Let's get you back to the lab and cleaned up. You've got slush in your hair." Danny said patting me down.

"It's all over me." I groaned. My entire rib cage aching.

"Quit being such a baby." Danny said opening the car door for me. I climbed inside flipping on the heating after Danny turned on the engine.

I was sitting in my office, at my desk, knocking back a handful of pain killers when Flack found me. The charcoal coloured collar neck clung to me still kind of wet from the fall. He leaned on the opposite side of my desk, hands palm down, leaning towards me.

"Detective Flack…what brings you to my humble abode." I grumbled washing the pain killers down with the glass of water. I'd hardly seen Flack in the last month, at work or out of it; I was feeling a little sore about that. I also suspected it was because he was seeing the blond receptionist from the precinct. I knew that he was now back off desk duty but his shifts were shorter than they used to be.

"We're off first name terms now?" he asked with a frown. I shrugged.

"I haven't seen you in a while." I stated leaning against the back of the chair.

"I heard you were in an incident with a car today." He began. I twisted my chair to look at him. I shifted and then winced.

"The guy had a thing about cops; he thought if he took out the one investigating him, his problem would go away." I explained, clasping my hands together.

"It's no biggie, Danny knocked me out of the way, unfortunately I hit the sidewalk on the way down. I got some bruising but it could have been worse."

"No biggie?" Flack exclaimed. "You were nearly killed by a perp today."

"Pipe down Don, what do you care?" I snapped suddenly on my feet.

"You nearly get killed by a car and your saying I don't care." Flack straightened up, something dawning on him. He folded his arms over his chest.

"What's this really about princess?" I took the folders off my desk and stared at him.

"You wanna know something Don? I really don't have the time for this right now. Do me a favour and get the hell out of my office." I told him.

"It's the ball thing isn't it?" he said suddenly. I froze bowing my head, red flushing into my cheeks. I set the folder down on the desk.

"You wanna know what this is about?" I said resigned.

"It's the fact that you asked someone you hardly know go to the ball with you instead of me. You said we couldn't have a relationship months ago because the lines were blurring and you couldn't date someone you worked with, but suddenly you are. You were right the lines are blurred, and now I guess their not." Don's mouth dropped open, I turned away from him embarrassed over the fact I'd just poured my heart out to him.

"For a CSI you're a complete idiot." I turned to face him grinding my teeth in anger. I looked at him for the first time, I mean really looked at him. I could see the exasperation he was trying to restrain. His blue eyes focused on me coldly.

"Tell you what Carmen, go home and take a look on your breakfast table. See what I've left there." With that he stormed from the room, slamming the door so hard the glass rattled. His long black coat swayed behind him as he stalked out of the labs.


	21. Chapter 21: Dress Up

**AN: Thanks to everyone whose reviewed. I love you guys, you've kept this story living. You've prob noticed an influx of chapters in the last 24 hours. I'm using full advantage of the internet I have at the moment so there may be a time period where there aren't too many chapters being out up, so enjoy while you can!**

Chapter Twenty One

_I remember when, _

_I remember when,_

_I remember when_

_I lost my mind_

_There was something so pleasant about that face_

_Even you emotions have an echo_

_In so much space_

_Does that make me crazy? _

_Gnarls Barkley – Crazy_

"That dress looks perfect on you." Stella said staring at me in the mirror. I smiled widely, watching the dress sway around me. The forest green halter neck did wonders for my slim figure, and showed a generous amount of cleavage. The hem of the dress touched the floor gracefully.

"That was Flack; he said he's still picking you up at eight." Lindsey said to me. My mind drifted back to the bouquet of violets he'd left on my breakfast table today and the thank you note.

"Nice to see he's not still mad at me." I muttered, twisting around in the mirror. I dropped down into the chair, as Stella approached me from behind handing me a bunch of hair pins.

"Why, you two have a fight?" she asked, holding up some of my hair. I watched as Lindsey began to empty Stella's make up bag on to the table behind me. When it came to make up I was impaired to say the least.

"Maybe a little." I admitted, my eyes on Stella, who was doing something sort of complex with my hair, and taking pins off me to out in it.

"The row in your office have anything to do with it?" Lindsey asked, putting the blusher brush down on the table. I cringed.

"You saw that?" I exclaimed. Lindsey dampened the make up sponge and applied it to some base, nodding.

"Don't think that the whole lab wasn't watching." She remarked. I sunk further down into my chair.

"It was dumb, I accused him of being a hypocrite over the work and relationship line and as it turns out he wasn't." I told them sheepishly as Stella took another hair pin from my hand.

"There we go." She said patting my shoulders. She pulled away letting me and Lindsey see the finished product. Stella had somehow tamed my wavy hair pulling it into an elegant and sleek French knot.

"Thank you."

"Sit back in the chair so I can do your make up." Stella told me with a bright smile. I did as I was told and let her begin work on my face.

"Don's a great guy, I'm sure it'll turn out alright." Stella told me dabbing eye shadow on me.

"I hope so." I murmured. I opened my mouth as Stella began to apply lip liner.

"All done." She beamed. I turned to the mirror and gasped.

"Oh my God Stella I look wonderful!" I said throwing my arms around her shoulders and hugging her gratefully.

"Thank you so much."

"No problem… it's just a bit of make up." Stella said with a honesty in her voice.

"You work wonders." I gushed. Stella ushered me out the way still smiling.

"Lindsey, you're up!" Armed with a set of curling tongs, Stella set about curling Lindsey's hair.

"So what is going on between you and Flack? I heard he's moved back to his apartment." Lindsey said eyes on me. I shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I'm glad he's found his feet. He told me a few months ago before the explosion that the lines were blurring to much for him. Ever since the explosion that's just been getting worse. We started sleeping in the same bed at the end because it was easier. I don't know where I stand anymore and I guess I'm sick of it." I blurted out. Stella's eyed me with a thoughtful look.

"Maybe tonight will change things." She said mysteriously. I raised an eyebrow, but she refused to elaborate.

"AT least he's not taking that bimbo receptionist." Lindsey snorted. I frowned questioningly. She caught my look of confusion.

"Some blond from the station has been trying to get in his pants since he came back; I'm surprised he hasn't slapped a sexual harassment charge on her ass." Lindsey said disgusted. I pondered this for a second. Maybe there was hope for me yet.

The knocking at the door was getting louder.

"I bet you its Danny." I growled yanking open the door.

"You are so impatient." I trailed off seeing Flack clad in a black tuxedo, a silver patterned wait coat underneath it. The look on his face matched mine of sheer disbelief.

"Wow you scrub up well." I breathed catching my breath. Flack nodded pointedly at me

"You too Devine." He said with a warm smile. I put my hands on my hips.

"Wait until you see Lindsey and Stella." I pushed the door open to reveal our two co workers. The look on his face showed me that he was impressed. Stella stepped forward dressed in a black spaghetti strapped gown, hair heaped artistically on top of her head. Lindsey looked stunning in her royal blue strapless dress. Don whistled.

"I'm gonna be a lucky guy tonight with you three ladies on my arm." I poked him in the gut.

"You wish Flack." I retorted.

"The other's downstairs?" Lindsey asked gathering her dress around her.

"You're in the first car." Flack turned to look down at me. "We're in the second one, if that's ok?" he asked cautious.

"That sounds fine" I told him trailing after him as he moved through the front door.

"Bag.!" Stella reminded me, holding out the matching bag to my dress as Lindsey shut the apartment door behind her. I blushed, taking it from her wondering what kind of night this was going to be.


	22. Chapter 22: First Time For Everything

Chapter Twenty Two

_I heard there was a secret chord_

_That David played and it pleased the lord_

_But you don't really care for music do you?_

_Rufus Wainwright – Hallelujah_

"I'm sorry, you know, I'm stupid and rash and I let my temper get the better of me. I apologize." My eyes searched Don's face gauging his reaction. A smile curved across his face, a wide one.

"You're forgiven." He told me taking my hand and leading me towards the huge marble archway. He held out his arm, in a gentlemanly pose. I took it with as much as grace as I could muster.

"Nervous?" I asked quietly. Don's gaze stayed dead ahead as he led me into the ballroom. He gave an ungentle manly snort.

"I'll take that as a no." I remarked, as we stepped over the threshold. I found myself suddenly speechless.

The hall around us was decorated in white, gold and red. Beautiful bouquets of white lilies decorated the centre piece of each table. The chandelier overhead shined a romantic light over the whole room. Every red table cloth had a matching gold place setting. People from every department loitered around the room. Across from us I spotted Stella waving. I leaned into Don who seemed as dazzled as I was and pointed at Stella. A dark look crossed his face; I turned to follow his gaze. A small blond woman clad in a tight red dress was coming towards us, her face contorted in an ugly manner. I cringed.

"You have five seconds to explain before she arrives." I whispered. Don shrugged; I rolled my eyes as he stepped forward to intercept her.

"Don, how could you and with her?" She pointed at me, I glared at her affronted.

"Cindy I told you I didn't want to date you, I was not taking you to this. I'm not even going to talk to you about this." Don argued, shaking his head. HE went to walk away, she grabbed his arm.

"Don't you walk away from me, what the hell do you think you're doing, you can't turn me down, especially not for some woman who barely knows what you've been through." I felt something in me start to snap. I bit my tongue. Don wrenched his arm free.

"That woman is Carmen Devine, a CSI, she was there when I got blown up, she was there when I woke up from a coma, she even took me in when I needed someone to turn to. SO do me a favour, pipe down and stay the hell away from me otherwise I will be filing a report about how you got me up against the photocopier the other day and tried to seduce me." Don hissed. I raised my eyebrows, giving Cindy the most dirtiest look I could physically manage as Don moved back towards me. He held out his arm again. I took it gladly.

"Sorry about that." He muttered. I patted his arm reassuringly.

"No problem, you want me to hide her body because you know I could do that." A thin smile crossed Don's lips as he shook his head. By the time we got to the table it was time for the meal. Our progress had been slowed by people high fiving Don and welcoming him back to the force, telling him how great he looked. I had to agree. I slid into a seat between Hawkes and Stella. Flack's seat was situated on a table reserved especially for his division. During the meal I talked with Hawkes bout his medical training and how he'd ended up as a coroner and now a CSI. After the meal I managed to yank an reluctant Danny onto the dance floor. He scowled at me.

"Buck up Messer, it could be worse your mama may not of ever taught you how to dance." Danny narrowed his eyes at me, twirling me.

"Or is it you rather be dancing with Lindsey?" I teased.

"Why would I wanna dance with Montana?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Give it up Danny we're not in Kansas anymore, I know you've got a thing for Lindsey, that thing with the ice cream the other day was cute."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He puffed.

"Your crazy." He continued. "I don't have a thing for Montana, that ice cream cone thing…she called me fat!" Danny tried to defend himself.

"She said you were going to get fat, you ate three ice creams."

"I'm a growing boy." He grinned playfully.

"Do us both a favour and go ask her to dance." I said pulling away as the song ended. Danny gave me a death glare as we walked back to the table. I ignored him settling into my seat and sipping from my wine glass. I watched Mac and Stella for a second on the dance floor swaying to the soft music now playing. Danny tugged Lindsey to her feet and led her to the dance floor. I watched her beaming.

My eyes searched the bar and I found Sheldon and Marty smoking cigars and trading witty anecdotes with some other well dressed patrons.

"Looking for me?" Flack's voice burst into my consciousness. I turned my head towards him.

"You wish." I shot back. He extended his hand towards me.

"You wanna dance?"

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty in the moonlight over threw you._

We swayed tenderly among the other dancers.

"I didn't know you could dance." I said surprised.

"Surprised?" he asked.

"A little."

He pulled me closer into his arms. I closed my eyes absorbing the scent of him. I rested my head on his chest, hearing the rhythm of his heart beating. I closed my eyes lost within him, living in that moment.

_She tied you to a kitchen chair_

_She broke your thrown she cut you hair _

_And from your lips she drew an Hallelujah_

The memories of the explosion plagued me, seeping into my mind. The fear of losing him, the sadness, the desperation. The thought of never seeing that smile, or hearing that laugh, or trading witty remarks with him nearly killed me. I sniffed quietly.

"Are you ok?" he asked into my hair. I tilted my head towards him.

"I was so frightened of losing you." I admitted looking into his beautiful eyes. I searched his eyes looking for the answer to why the mere thought hurt so much. I already knew that answer. I'd known it since that very first time I'd shaken his hand. I leaned my head on his shoulder sighing. He pressed his lips against my forehead.

"I know."

_Baby I've been here before_

_I know this room _

_I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you._

"You didn't have to walk me all the way to the door you know." I told Flack giggling inanely. I looked into my hand bag attempting to retrieve my key.

"It's my job." He replied with a coy smile.

"I thought it was to serve and protect." I retorted.

"That too." Flack laughed as I opened the door.

"I had a wonderful time tonight. I said leaning in the door frame to face him.

"It doesn't have to end here." He said lips inches away from mine. I took that chance and kissed him. That kiss…

_There was a time you let me know _

_What's real and going on below_

_But now you never show it to me do you_

_And remember when I moved in you_

_The holy dark was moving too, _

_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah _

We ended up in the bedroom. I pushed off his suit jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Lips still pressed together I felt his hands slowly caressing the bare skin of my back; he began to slid the zipper down little by little. His lips were soft and delicate. The dress fell to the floor, I undid the buttons on his waist coat, that too now decorating my carpet. I untucked his shirt and began to undo the buttons one by one. The shirt hung open now. I let my fingers run over his shoulders and the moved down to his chest. He clasped them in his, pulling away slightly. I lost myself in the blue of his eyes.

"The scar…" he murmured into my ear. I caressed his cheeks smiling.

"Scars aren't ugly; I tend to think they're a little map of your life." I told him, kissing his lips gently.

"Trust me." I murmured, putting my forehead against his. Don nodded briefly.

His hands went to my neck; he caressed my jaw line with his thumbs, exhaling into ear as slid the shirt from his shoulders, it landed with a soft noise as it splayed across the carpet. I ran my fingers down Don's chest gently, running my fingertips carefully over the scar of the bomb blast. He relaxed into me. He pulled away slightly, as I raised my arm.

"I've got one right here." I showed him where the metal had cut into me when I'd accidentally kicked down the debris on the way out. He bent his lips to it, and kissed the white jagged line, sending a shiver up me. I found myself slipping backwards onto the bed kicking my shoes off as Flack's lips covered me.

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, Hallelujah_

When the sun came up the next morning, I found myself curled in Flack's arms, his breath on the back of my neck. His body curved around mine. He kissed the back of my neck lovingly before snuggling his face into my hair. The beautiful night we had just spent together at the forefront of our minds.


	23. Chapter 23: Making Plans

Chapter Twenty Three

_Maybe it's just me_

_But you seem finally happy_

_I don't think I've seen your face _

_Just glow like a neon sign_

_Butch Walker – Maybe It's Just Me_

"You_'re looki_ng very…upbeat this morning." Stella grinned, looking up from her paper work. I beamed at her shrugging. I turned to face Danny as he entered the room. He stopped dead staring at me.

"Whoa I haven't seen a smile like that since you met Rory Cochrane on the subway." Danny narrowed his eyes at me, a wicked grin on his face.

"She made him sign her notebook." He sniggered. I flushed red embarrassed. Stella's smile was one of good humour.

"At least I don't moon over girls on subway" I shot back. Danny shrugged.

"It got me a short term relationship." Before I could reply, Danny's pager went off, sparing him from the witty onslaught I was about to unleash.

"Montana needs me, I gotta run." Danny told us huffing; he disappeared out of the door, leaving me and Stella alone.

"SO everything sorted between you and a certain dark haired detective?" Stella smiled knowingly. I bowed my head with a tiny smirk. Stella pushed her papers away and turned her attention to me.

"Say no more. You and Flack are good together. You decided when your gonna let Mac know?" she asked twisting in her chair.

"We haven't really talked about it." I told her leaning on her desk.

"You busy tonight?" Stella asked standing up and grabbing her jacket off the back of her chair and slipping it on.

"We'll go out for a celebrity drink, and you can tell me and Lindsey all about it." I nodded agreeing.

"Make it a quick one, we're on early tomorrow." Stella waved at me leaving the room. I bowed my head, smiling in the memories of last night and this morning.

"You thinking about me?" I grinned raising my head to Flack, who stood looking very presentable in his suit and purple shirt and tie.

"Maybe." I grinned blushing.

"Ah you were "thinking of me"" he said in a tone that caused heat to gather in my face. I turned away picking some folders.

"You come here to tease me or is there a specific reason?" I said playfully.

"Why not a bit of both?" Flack stated mischievously.

"Anyway are you busy tonight?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, making me think naughty thoughts.

"I'm going for a drink with Stella and Lindsey after work, but I'm home early. Why what did you have in mind?" I asked curious. Flack leaned in the doorway.

"It's a surprise." I pouted.

"Nice try princess, I don't fall for that." He chuckled.

"I'll catch you later back at yours." He said before turning and leaving the room. I watched his back as he wandered towards the elevator.


	24. Chapter 24: Body Double

Chapter Twenty Four

_I'm sorry, so sorry. (damn your so hot)_

_Your beauty is so vain_

_It drives me, yes, it drives me absolutely insane_

_Limp Bizkit – Eat You Alive_

"Has anyone touched the body?" Mac asked the patrol cop starring at the body of the young woman. He shook his head. Mac's eyes never left the body. The long auburn hair was splayed along the back covering the face of the woman.

"Hey Mac what have we got?" Danny said clad in a dark shirt. He caught Mac's frown and stopped chewing the gum in his mouth.

"Mac what's up?" Danny moved past Mac his eyes falling on the body. The kit dropped from his hand. A deep intake of breath was the only sound that marked the silence.

"Mac…Tell me that's not…" Mac leant forward holding his breath he turned the body onto it's back. He shook his head.

"It sure looks like her though." He recounted to Danny, who regained his posture, yet the sick feeling in his stomach wouldn't go down.

"The question is, is this intentional?" Mac said looking over the body. Danny swallowed hard and began taking pictures. Mac crouched down next to the body.

"Stab wound here could be what killed her, although he's been beaten pretty badly." Mac said, Danny pulled his face away from the camera, indicating towards the skirt.

"Skirt's hiked up over her waist. I'm thinking possible sexual assault." He had trouble not looking at the woman's face. Mac turned his back on the body.

"Comb the area for evidence. I want a rush on this one." Shaken Danny nodded and prepared himself mentally to process the scene.

Mac's eyes were on the body as the young woman lay there peaceful, her face marred by the bruising from the beating. Danny stood on the other side, of the table, staring at the coroner.

"If I didn't know any better…" Marty said finally.

"Well you do Doc." Danny returned sharply.

"Marty just tell us what you've found." Mac said resigned. Marty focused on the body, pointing at the stab wounds in the upper chest.

"These are cause of death, knife went deep straight into the heart, poor girl died quickly, bled out into her chest. The beating however was anything but quickly. It occurred prior to death; the bruising shows that the killer lost control couldn't stop himself. This occurred before the rape.

"She was raped?" Danny's fists were clenched tightly together. Marty nodded.

"Whoever did this was brutal, they were in rage. The poor girl didn't stand a chance. There's something else interesting here." Marty pointed to the cheek bone on the victim, "See this indentation, could be from a ring. Looks like a lion's head." Danny peered at the symbol. He jerked a way quickly, bolting out of the room, his cell phone in hand calling the third number on speed dial.

"Come on Carmen pick up…" the phone continued to ring, before getting the message service. Danny slammed the redial button, pleading for Carmen to pick up.


	25. Chapter 25: Helpless

Chapter Twenty Five

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me_

_Still can't find what keep me here_

_When all this time I've felt so hollow inside._

_I know your there._

_Watching me_

_Wanting me_

_I can feel you pull me down_

_Fearing you_

_I won't let you pull me down._

_Evanescence – Haunted_

I moved towards me apartment door, my head swimming a little. One drink had turned into three. I put my key in the lock finding the door ajar with a smile; I replaced the key in bag and pushed the door open gasping in delight at the sight of the room. Every surface was covered in candles; their dim glow gave the room a romantic outlook. My eyes strayed to the dark haired detective sitting in the chair. I opened my mouth to say something and froze. Don's hands were wrenched behind his back; the left side of his face was beginning to bruise, above his left eye a thin trickle of blood trickled down his cheek. A sliver of silver tape covered his mouth. His wild blue eyes went wide as his muffled scream alerted me to something behind me. The door slammed shut behind me; an arm encircled my throat, tightening it suddenly. I couldn't breathe. I grabbed at the arm raking my finger nails across the arm. I bucked trying to slam the attacker against the door with little success; the body weight far surpassed mine. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Flack fighting the restraints, the tape barely suppressing the words coming out of his mouth. The attacker managed to turn me slamming my body against the door. I let out a tiny cry as pain ran through me. My hands which pressed against the door were yanked behind me, something cold snapped on my left wrist. I growled fighting to save my right wrist from the same fate. I failed. The cold metal bracelet tugged both my wrists together. I clenched my jaw recognizing the feel of handcuffs. I wrenched against them furious. I found myself turned around quickly, head slamming against the door, breathing harsh. The face inches from mine licked his lips.

"Still put up a pretty good fight Carmen."

In the background Carmen's phone rang and rang.

Danny slammed his phone shut in frustration, pacing the corridor trying to figure out what on earth to do next. Frantic he called the next number that came to mind, Flack. Mac's hand enclosed on his shoulder.

"Danny you know something that I need to know, you recognized that insignia." Danny snapped his phone shut getting no answer.

"Is this something to do with the red flag I got on Mathew Stobbart in regards to Carmen?" Danny bowed his head and said nothing.

"For God's sake Danny I need to know." Mac shouted. Danny nodded relenting.

"Mathew Stobbart is Carmen's ex husband. The insignia on that girl's face is the same one that was imprinted on Carmen's ribs seven years ago when Stobbart tried to beat her to death." Mac crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tell me everything."

"Stobbart was a notorious Tanglewood Boy, Carmen married him for love not knowing his reputation. They'd been married a month before Stobbart came home one night covered in blood; Carmen came to the conclusion he'd killed someone, tried to get him to do the right thing. She knew by the amount of blood someone had died." Danny stopped, and gazed off into the memory. He wrapped his arms around himself.

"He'd beaten an eighteen year old kid to death. When Carmen tried to get him to do the right thing, he flipped out, started tearing up the place. Somehow Carmen managed to get to a phone and called me… When I got there…Mac I've never seen anything that bad." Danny confessed, eyes haunted.

"He was beating her when I got there, screaming at her, in full on rage, I managed to restrain him, I don't know how, he could easily of stopped me, but he was so intent on hitting her, he wouldn't stop. My wrist was broken by the time the police arrived, so the bar fight story was a lie." He hesitated, sliding into one of the visitor's seats; Mac did the same, elbows on his knees.

"I sat with her through everything, the ambulance ride, surgery, everything. Oh my God Mac you should of seen what he did to her." He indicated with his hand towards his left cheek.

"He broke her cheek bone; the left side of her face was the worst. He dislocated her jaw, She had broken rips, internal bleeding." Danny looked up aw Mac. His arms around himself.

"He wanted her dead Mac; there was no doubt about it." Danny let out a sigh before continuing.

"She ended up testifying against him and divorced him as quickly as possible. When she graduated she left for Portland, that's it. Look Mac, I tried calling both Carmen and Flack, and I've got nothing from either of them, their not picking up. Something's wrong I can feel it Mac." Danny admitted to Mac, he put his head in his hands.

"Meet me at the car in five minutes."

"Imagine my surprise when I come here to see my wife and find him here answering the door." Mathew was sitting on coffee table facing me; he'd forced me into the comfy chair next to the fire place. He picked up Flack's I.D and flipped it open, leaning in front of me. It looked like Flack had gotten off a few good hits before Mathew had managed to restrain him.

"Detective Donald Flack." Mathew tilted his head to the side.

"You screwing cops now." Mathew sneered.

"I'm not your wife." I muttered. "And I am a cop."

Mathew let out a harsh laugh, before drawing his hand back and striking me. The pain erupting in the side of my face was immense. I tasted blood.

"We took our vows" Mathew was on his face screaming.

"And then I divorced you, you made that happen the moment you killed that kid." I yelled right back.

"That kid deserved everything he got, pretending to be one of us." Mathew roared pointing at me. I stood up, hands still cuffed behind my back, that couldn't stop my fury.

"That kid was eighteen years old, he wanted to fit in. Listen to yourself!" Suddenly I was on the floor, both sides of my face now stinging like hell. I groaned shifting onto my side spitting blood out of my mouth and onto the floor. He towered above me raging.

"I expected support from my wife."

"You wanted me to lie for you." I spat. "That kid deserved justice and I helped dish it out to you, you got less than you deserved you sorry son of a bitch." The air rushed out of me as his boot ploughed into my stomach. I coughed suddenly unable to breath. Pain wracking me. Dizziness rocked me as I twisted onto my knees, head touching the floor. I closed my eyes briefly trying to regain my breath. In the distance I could hear Don tugging at the bounds that held him to the chair. His muffled cries echoed through the room. Oh Don honey it's no use, I told him in my head. A hand went into my hair grasping it and yanking me to my knees. I let out a howl of pain.

"Look at me." I obeyed opening my eyes and glaring hatefully into Mathew's face. His breath on my face made nausea build inside me.

"You cheated on me, you scheming bitch, you and him." Mathew let go of me and moved over the Flack. Tears welled up in my eyes, frustration and helplessness ran through me. He grabbed Flack's dark hair tugging his head back exposing his throat. To his credit Don never flinched. His eyes were on me, accepting.

"Tell me Carmen is he a better fuck than me?" I ground my teeth together, my staying on Flack. I saw Mathew's hand slid into his pocket. Something glinted in the light, a blade. Mathew pressed the sliver of silver against Flack's throat.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill this pig." I winced as Mathew slipped the knife far too close to Flack's throat.

"Mathew stop it!" I begged. "Just stop it."

"Why? You don't want me to ruin this pretty boy's face." Mathew's gaze was on me, his cold brown eyes fixed on me.

"I'll do anything. Just don't hurt him, Matt please, I promise you anything." Mathew's smile turned sickeningly sweet. He crouched in front of Flack, releasing his grip on his hair, shoving his head forward.

"You see that…she must really like you. If she's willing to do anything for me." Flack strained against the chair, it rocked. I knew it was useless. Flack's eyes went wild, fury building up in them. He threw himself forward. Mathew laughed.

"He sure is a fighter." Mathew said walking towards me. I raised my head as he came closer, ignoring the sickness growing in the pit of my stomach. He wrenched me up by the arm, tears streaming down my face. Man handling me past Flack, who was yelling and tearing at his bounds. I dropped to my knees in front of, meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry Don, I never knew this was going to happen. I am so sorry." Mathew hurled my up by my hair. I let out at tiny cry. He pushed me at my bed room door. I hit it hard.

"Forget the apologises, we've got some making up to do." Mathew sneered forcing me into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Turning me around Mathew undid the cuffs on my wrists. I glanced at him over my shoulder confused.

"Now the deal was that you'd do anything I wanted, so I've let your cop friend live, and now it's your turn to up hold your part of the deal. Remember it would take me all of two minutes to march back in there and slit his throat." Mathew turned me towards him pushing me backwards onto the bed. Mathew knelt on the bed, knees straddling my hips. He pulled his coat off his arms, dropping it to the floor. I flinched as he reached out touching my face.

"You're still so beautiful." I shuffled away from him towards the head board.

"Don't do this Mathew." I pleaded. Mathew's hands came down gripping my wrists and pinning them together.

"You honestly think I was going to let you get away Carmen?" His face close to mine, I fought against his hands striking out at him unsuccessful. Mathew released my hands; they strayed to the buckle on his belt, he tore it from the rungs of his jeans. I twisted managing to get onto my stomach. In my drawer I had a knife, if I could reach it… He raised it above his head the belt above his head bringing it down on my belt. I screamed as he brought it down again. A sob escaped my throat. My body ached all over, as Matt flipped me over.

"That make you feel good about yourself Matt." I screeched. "Beating me, threatening me, trying to rape me." I lost control, I started to hit him, force him away from me. Somewhere along the line, I could see the knife was out. Before I could even breathe Mathew plunged the knife into me. The breath I'd been holding rushed out of me.

"You made me do that you bitch." Mathew screamed, tearing at his hair. A huge smash filled the apartment. I gasped, my eyes on the knife sticking out of my stomach. My hands on either side of it unsure what to do. Tears ran down my eyes. Panic filled every fibre of my being.

"In the bed room." Flack's voice was bellowing.

Sticky red blood poured from me matting my clothes. Matt was long gone, down the fire escape and out the window. The door to the room burst open. Mac's gun pointed around the room.

"Mac?" I cried out, sobbing. The blood flowing onto my hands as I tried to holding in the blood. Mac holstered his gun, followed my Danny. I felt my body starting to tremble. I couldn't stop the shaking as it over came me.

"Mac… It hurts. It hurts so bad." I sobbed. Mac tore his jacket off shoving it against the wound.

"Danny. Call rescue." Mac was yelling.

"Don?" I called out, tears streaming down my face. Vivid blue eyes that's all I could see. His hand clasped mine tightly.

"I'm here, Carmen."

"We can't take the knife out, she'll bleed out. Danny give me your shirt." I felt tired, so, so tired. My eye lids fluttering closed.   
"Carmen! Carmen! Stay with me, I need those beautiful green eyes open." Flack's voice brought me back out of the darkness. His hand gripped mine tightly. There was voices darkness, surrounding me. All the time Flack's hand on mine, keeping me here even as I lost my self to the darkness.


	26. Chapter 26: Cause and Effect

Chapter Twenty Six

_Well you can't jump the track_

_We're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hour glass glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button boys_

_So cradle your head in your hands_

_Anna Nalick- Breathe (2am)_

We need to move her now. Her blood pressures dropping. She's lost too much blood." The paramedic was shouting now.

"I'm going with her!" Flack roared, following the stretcher as they wheeled Carmen out of the room.

"Sir you can't, she unstable." Mac grabbed Flack's arm as he stood there frozen in disbelief.

"Don you need to let them do their job." Flack looked away seething.

"When I find that bastard Mac, I'm going to tear him to pieces. She didn't deserve this."

"Nobody does Don, I'll get Danny to stay with you at the hospital." Flack merely nodded leaning in the doorway waiting. His jaw clenched tightly. Mac turned back to Danny who was starring at the bed; with the same mix of horror and rage they were all feeling. Carmen's blood was pooled in the bed covers.

"You think she'd going to be ok Mac?" Danny asked, folding his arms over his chest. Mac knew he was worried but false reassurances weren't what Danny wanted, he looked to Mac for the truth.

"They'll try their best." Was all that Mac got out.

"Look I'm putting Stella and Sheldon on this. Right now you've got a friend who needs you." Mac said jerking his head towards Flack who was staring at the red welts on his wrists from straining against the cuffs.

"I can't imagine what it must have been like for him, cuffed to the chair unable to help her." Mac let out a deep sigh.

"That's why he needs a friend right now." Mac murmured. Danny's eyes were still on Flack.

"So think he's gonna go after them if he thinks she's alive?" Danny asked, narrowing his eyes.

"If there's one thing I do know is that Stobbard won't stop killing whether it's one of them, one of us or someone on the street." Danny bowed his head grimly stepping away from Mac and ushering Flack out of the door.


	27. Chapter 27: Visitation Rights

Chapter Twenty Seven

I think I'm drowning

_Asphyxiated_

_I wanna break the spell_

_That you've created_

_You're something beautiful_

_A contradiction_

_I wanna play the game _

_I want the friction_

_You'll be the death of me_

_You'll be the death of me_

_Muse – Time Is Running Out_

"Have you heard anything yet?" Stella asked Mac as he combed over the jacket that Stobbart had left lying on the floor of Carmen's bedroom. Mac shook his head pulling away from the magnifying glass. His eyes were on Stella as if realizing something.

"Did you know Carmen was married before?" he asked leaning on his hands. Stella shook her head sampling the dirt and mixing the chemicals together with it.

"I suspected that maybe she'd come out of a bad relationship, but she never mentioned it. Maybe she didn't want to be judged." Stella suggested. Mac frowned mulling this over.

"Danny said something along the same lines." Mac said thinking back to the conversation in the car.

"It's Flack I'm feeling sorry for right now." Stella said. "He's been through all this trauma and when he finally settles down something else comes along and messes the whole thing up, it's not fair Mac they don't deserve this. They're good people." Stella said agitated.

"Stella, bad things happen to good people all the time, what makes us strong is how we survive them." Mac told her. Stella warmed a little nodding. Her eyes fell on the bloody cuffs in front of her. The image of Flack tugging against them was fresh in her mind.

"He must of really fought." She murmured staring at them thoughtfully.

"You should have seen his wrists." Mac said, jaw clenching. He told me Carmen saved his life, Stobbart was going to kill him, and Carmen made a deal with him, he said even cuffed she fought him, she stood up for the justice she believed in." Mac confessed grimly.

Stella watched him, taking in the story.

"All the more reason to get him." She said a determined gleam in her eye.

"You know the guy's been out five days and he's managed to kill one person and damage two others." Mac shook his head, thoughtful.

"So where would a guy who's been out of prison five days shack up?" Stella said with a smile as the answer came to her.

"We know their hiding him. Danny said it's seven days for the Tanglewood Boys and then your left to stand on your own two feet."

"And we also know that the only Tanglewood left that remembers Stobbart is in prison right now serving a life sentence." Mac remarked referring to Sonny.

"Ever since Sonny's been gone, the hierarchy's been a little shaky to say the least. The younger members haven't been around to see Stobbart's handy work." Stella said pointedly. Mac nodded grabbing his suit jacket and slipping it on.

"Let's see who we can lean on to get some answers."

"You should get those checked out." Danny said head bowed, eyes on Flack's wrists. Flack clasped his hands together.

"Says the man that ran out on the doctor when he had to have his head checked." He retorted.

Danny grinned at the statement.

"Yea but I won't have Carmen on my case." Danny pointed out. Flack put his head in his hands sober.

"Why do they have to take so long to tell us how she's doing?" he rubbed his eyes, before lifting his head to meet Danny's gaze.

"They'll let us know as soon as she's out of surgery." Danny said glancing down the corridor.

"Look go to A and E and see the doctor get yourself checked out, it would make me feel a lot better, and that way both Carmen and Mac won't grind my bones into little pieces for not taking care of you." Danny reasoned. Don looked at him sidelong.

"If I hear anything I'll come get you." Danny reassured. Resigned Flack nodded following Danny's advice. Danny watched as Don traipsed down the corridor head held high. He breathed a sigh of relief, at least that was Flack taken care of.

"Where is he?" Mac slammed his palms on the desk in front of the kid, who jumped almost out of his seat.

"We don't snitch on our own." He stammered. Mac's eyes fixed on the kid his gaze never flinching. The boy shrunk under the steely gaze of the marine.

"You don't even know Stobbart Mickey. Now whether you like it or not that scum is going down for murder and it's up to you whether you go down as an accessory."

"Wait a minute man." Stella snapped out of silence, interrupting the kid by splashing the glossy pictures onto the desk. He leant forward baring her teeth.

"He beat this woman within an inch of her life and then raped and killed her. Imagine that, she has two brothers at home. Nieces and nephews, whose going to tell them their sister, their daughter, their aunty isn't coming back?" Stella slammed a file down on the table flipping it open and sliding the pictures towards Mickey.

"This Detective Devine." Mickey looked away from Carmen's smiling face, the picture from the night they first drank cocktails.

"Look at her." Stella stated. Mickey let out a deep breath and peered at the photo.

"SO?"

"This is what Stobbart did to her." Stella pushed another picture towards Mickey, not focusing on it.

"He did that?" Stella nodded at him. Mickey's face was full of dread.

"Stobbart's a dangerous man Mickey. If we don't catch him soon, what's next? The gang and he's not gonna hang around waiting to be promoted, he's going to kill the only person who stands in his way, you!" Mac bellowed.

"You know what it feels being beaten, it's not a quick death, you lie there in agony for hours at least, possibly days…"Stella was straight in there digging at Mickey.

"Will he find out it was me?" Stella resisted the urge to throw her arms in the air triumphant.

"There's no way for him to find out. We need to know where he is or where he's going." Mickey sighed staring at his hands.

"He said he had to go visit someone at the hospital."

"Thanks Doc." Flack replied waving off the doctor. "Yea, yea I got it."

Flack slammed the door behind him rolling his eyes irate. Man I hate doctors he thought, putting a hand to the throbbing cut above his eye. The memory of Stobbart's arrival predominant in his mind.

The door swinging open, the punch out of nowhere, smashing into his jaw. His own fist lashing out catching the attacker directly in the face. Stobbart had recovered quickly lunging at Flack, his shoulder driving into the weak muscle from the explosion. He hit the ground sprawled on his back. Stobbart loomed over hands moving to Don's throat. Flack's fist hit Stobbart's nose throwing his head backwards. Don's eyes fell on the jacket he'd left on the back of the chair. He sprung forward reaching for the firearm in the holster. His legs went from under him suddenly, his face crashing down on the chair below him. His head hit the corner as he went down, causing him to black out.

Don shook off the memory; he'd analysed the situation over and over again and found himself unable to react any differently. When he'd woken up, Carmen had been entering through the door. Carmen…who was in surgery fighting for her life because of that bastard. Fury rose in Flack, he pushed it away. He needed a clear head. Danny stood up as Flack approached grinning ear to ear.

"Tell me it's good news Danny boy?" Flack said digging his bandaged wrists into his jackets. Danny's smile was huge.

"She's out of surgery, they've transferred her into a recovery room, to rest, she's a little doped up right now, but she's going to live. They said one at a time, you go sit with her." Danny said folding his arms over his chest attempting to recover his posture.

Flack hesitated.

"What about you?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm gonna head back to the lab, share the good news, catch the bad guy, you get the girl this time Don." Danny told him warmly. Flack reached out embracing Danny.

"Thanks Danny for everything." Danny pulled away blinking rapidly.

"You just take care of her now, otherwise your gonna have Montana on your ass, and I'll let you know she's scary when she's angry." Don sniggered at that thought, watching Danny march down the corridor.

After leaving the first set of double doors, Danny felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Messer." He answered automatically.

"Danny it's Mac where are you?" Mac's tone was serious and rushed.

"Just leaving the hospital, Carmen made it, she's out of surgery." Danny told Mac beaming.

"Danny get back in there, Stobbart's going to see Carmen. Our ETA's three minutes, don't let Don or Carmen out of your sight. Danny?" Danny snapped the phone shut and burst through the double doors he'd just left.

Mathew Stobbart wandered into reception, a large bouquet of yellow roses in his arm. They were her favourite. He stepped towards the receptionist smiling politely.

"Can you tell me where Carmen Devine's room is please, she was admitted a few hours ago. I'm her husband." The receptionist glanced at the screen and then returned Stobbart's smile.

"Room 232" He smiled continuing his journey, imagining the smile on Carmen's face when she saw him.

"Give me Carmen Devine's room number." Danny yelled breathless. A thousand heads turned towards him but he didn't care.

"Sir I must insist." The receptionist began.

"Can it…" Danny said throwing back his suit jacket and revealing his badge and gun.

"I need that number."

"232"

"Has anyone else asked for that number?" Danny asked hastily trying to determine how much time he had.

"Only her husband." Danny took off down the corridor running as fast as he could towards room 232.

Flack stood next to Carmen's still body, listening to the steady beep of the life support.

_Just in case…the doctors had said._ His eyes strayed to her face. The bruising was beginning to flare up now, ignoring the anger he dropped into the seat next to her taking her hand firmly in his. He raised it to his lips.

"We've got a lot to talk about you and me." He told her softly.

"But you know that right?"

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show.

"I just wanted to tell you, that the other night wasn't a mistake, it never was."

I thought that being strong was never losing my self-control.

"I've been stupid, all this stuff about the lines blurring. It was crap. I was scared, I had this whole bunch of feelings I never had before and it was all because of you. You scared me." He laughed at his own words.

But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain.

"When you wake up I'll tell you all of this." He kissed her hand gently.

To hell with my pride let it fall like rain

From my eyes.

Tonight I wanna cry.

The tears were streaming down his face now.

"You were so brave, and so stupid…" he trailed off. "You saved my life, you almost lost everything to save me, even your dignity."

The sound of her screams filled his ears. He shook it away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I swear to you Carmen, that will protect you with every fibre of my body because that's what you did for me." Flack leant forward stroking her hair back away from her face.

"I'd love to see that beautiful smile again." The door cracked open slowly. Flack's eyes hardened as Stobbart stepped into the room, his eyes on Carmen. It took Flack a second to realize that the flowers in Stobbart's arm obscured his view of the rest of the room. Flack ducked behind the bed, slowly upholstering his gun with minimum

noise.

"Hello love it's me. I brought you your favourites. You're always getting yourself into trouble, but I forgive you." Flack couldn't help but roll his eyes. Classic Psycho talk. He wrapped his fingers around the gun, clenching it tightly. He couldn't afford to make any mistakes. He crouched waiting for just the right moment.

"I'm going to put these in water love, I'll be right back." He heard the footsteps coming towards him. As Stobbart rounded the bed, Flack was on his feet in an instant, gun aimed at Stobbart's face.

"Freeze." The vase slipped from Stobbart's hand in surprise as the door swung open, smashing against the wall. Out of the corner of his eye, Flack caught sight of a dishevelled Danny Messer, standing gun also pointed at Stobbart's head.

"The cop? I'm surprised your still here. I thought you were smart boy." Stobbart sneered recognizing Flack.

"Hey, call me stupid but I don't see you holding a gun to anyone's head." Flack retorted. Stobbart twisted his head to the door.

"Is that little Danny Messer, still interfering in other people's business?" Danny tilted his head.

"What can I say?" Danny shrugged. "I don't like being left out of the party."

Mathew chuckled his eyes straying to Carmen.

"You know I only came to see my wife." He told the other two men.

"Sure you did and stabbing her was an accident." Flack snapped sarcastic. "What were you peeling a carrot and the knife slipped?"

"She made me do it." Mathew was raising his voice.

"I can't believe this, she wouldn't let you rape her so you stabbed her." Flack was yelling, rage seeping into his body. In his head, he could hear her yelling; he could see her tears as she apologized bitterly.

"Flack…" Danny warned.

"No Danny, I wanna hear this, I wanna hear what that son of a bitch has to say." Flack's face was contorted in anger. He was near snapping point.

"You know what Carmen's like in bed, it would have been worth it." Flack's eyes went cold, the fury whipping up inside him turned to frenzy.

"Nothing is worth that." He spat.

"She nearly died because of you and now your here bringing her flowers? Wow Psycho logic is really hard to understand." Mathew's smile appeared pissing Flack off even more.

"We have a love hate relationship." Flack snorted.

"Sure you do, you love her, and she hates you." Stobbart's face went red. The uncontrollable anger growing.

"Did I hit a nerve?" Stobbart went for him. Without thinking Flack and Danny pulled the trigger at the same time.

Shot's rang out clearing the corridor of nurses and patients as Mac and Stella rushed to room 232. As they erupted into the room, weapons out, they were surprised to see Flack and Danny standing over the dead body of Mathew Stobbart. Danny prodded the body with his shoe.

"Nice shot man." Flack said turning his head to Mac and Stella, the weapon in his hand outstretched.

"You'll need to process this." He said resigned. Stella noticed a slight tremble as he handed the weapon over.

"What happened here?" Mac asked his eyes running over the scene. As Stella moved down the corridor in search of another room for Carmen, Danny took Mac aside and explained the whole event. Flack stared at the body at Stobbart's body, feeling a great weight lifted off his shoulders.


	28. Chapter 28: Tickets

Chapter Twenty Eight

_If I kiss you_

_Where it's sore_

_Will you feel better?_

_Will you feel anything at all?_

_Regina Spektor – If I Kissed You_

"Look I really don't mind so shut up about it and get in the car." Flack said holding the car door open for me. I took a step away from the foyer of the hospital, rolling my eyes.

I don't need to be treated like an invalid, I can…" I cried out suddenly in pain as bent to lower myself into the car. Flack stopped dead, moving anxious towards me. I waved him off, as he lingered near my side.

"I just pulled it a little." I told him settling into my seat. Flack leant in through the open door as I fastened the seat belt.

"Then it's sorted your staying at mine."

"You don't even have a spare room." I snorted. Flack leaned into me, his lips close.

"I think we're a little past spare rooms, don't you?" he murmured raising his eye brow.

"You hide candy bar wrappers in the pillow cases." I reminded him, Flack at least had the capacity to look guilty.

"Hey, I get hungry." He protested.

"While your sleep?" I sniggered. Flack shrugged.

"You got your painkiller's?" he asked more serious now.

"Of course." I lied. He nodded, taking a small pill bottle out of his jacket pocket and tossed it to me. I caught it embarrassed.

"I thought so." He smiled, closing the car door. I scowled as he climbed in next to me.

"We need to stop at the lab. I have to pick something up, that and the fact the others would kill me and bury my body if I didn't let them know you were out." He told me, driving to carefully.

"Pick something up?" I asked careful not to move too suddenly.

"Well I thought you'd be bored not working for the next few weeks, so if your good, I'll take somewhere." He said playfully. I eyed him suspicious as he pulled the car into the lab car park.

"I'm coming in." I told him, nodding he moved around the car helping me out with less grace than I hoped for.

------

The labs hadn't changed at all since my stay in hospital; I guess I'd expected something to of changed.

"Hey Devine; I didn't think we'd be graced with your presence until tonight." I turned my head towards Danny grinning.

"You know me Messer I can't keep away." I said, as Lindsey glanced up from her paperwork.

"I'll be back in a minute." Don told me making his way towards Mac's office.

"How are you doing?" Lindsey asked hugging me cautiously.

"Fine, Flack's babying me a little, but hey who am I to complain." I said wrapping my arms around myself, covering my wound self conscious.

"So you're staying with Flack?" Lindsey interrogated. I could tell this had been talked about before I'd been approached with the idea.

"For a few days." I confirmed.

"You need help switching those rooms around?" Danny questioned, his attention on me.

"If you don't mind." I said staring at the scuff marks in the floor.

I'd decided that there was no way I could stay in the room that had nearly ended up as my death bed. The spare room was becoming my own room and vice versa.

"Hey you're still up for the cinema tomorrow night right?" Lindsey asked.

"Hey how come you never take me out Montana?" Danny whined, putting his hands on his hips.

"Are you ashamed of me?" Lindsey dug an elbow into his waist.

"Whoa, can you believe this Carmen? It's domestic abuse." Danny laughed. Lindsey rolled her eyes and started to back away.

"I've got some tests to run, but I'll catch you tomorrow right?" I nodded at her question and turned my attention to Danny, whose face turned serious again.

"So when are you coming back to work?" he asked, arms folded.

"Mac said the end of next week, but I get the feeling their in there conspiring against me." I said pointing at Mac's office. Danny bowed his head smiling.

"I'm glad your back." He told me, exhaling.

"Me too." I said meeting his gaze.

"I saw the obituary in the paper." I chuckled as he said it, having known what he'd read.

"A doting husband? His mother's warped as he was. I remember after I put him away the first time, she called me explaining the ways we could "work it out."" I said lightly. Danny pulled a face.

"I know it sounds horrible but I'm glad he's dead" I confessed, feeling no remorse.

"I mean it's a chapter of my life, I never wanted to visit." I said shaking my head.

"At least the bruising is fading." In response to Danny's statement I pulled up the bottom of my red shirt revealing the mass of black and blue that covered my ribs and lower.

"At least bruising on your face is fading." He corrected himself. I rubbed my eyes as he spoke.

"That's something to be thankful for." I willingly admitted. I didn't need all those sympathetic looks from strangers.

"Eva's been trying to get in contact with you." Danny said quietly. I found myself staring at him, eyes searching his face for a clue. Instantly I knew what ever had happened was bad.

"How bad?" I asked studying him.

"Mark's suing for custody of Abbey." I gaped at his words. Abbey was Eva's eight year old daughter from a previous relationship.

"Give her a call later." Danny said, seeing Flack moving towards us. I nodded, feeling slightly pained by the news. I turned to Flack as he slipped something in his back pocket.

"Your coming over tonight aren't you Danny?" Flack said beaming from ear to ear. He caught sight of our down trodden faces and his mood changed.

"What?"

"I'll tell you later." I said grimly. Flack scrutinized me for a second before agreeing.

"I'll catch you later Danny." I said finding myself trailing after Flack who was seemingly annoyed, Danny waved turning his back on me.

"Don, wait…" I said breathless as he strode down the corridor. Don stopped, I heard him exhale. My eyes went to the paper sticking out of his pocket. I saw my name. I reached out yanking it out before he could stop me.

"Hey what is this…" I trailed off, my jaw dropping as Flack snatched it back of me.

"It was supposed to be a surprise." He said slipping it back into his pocket.

"I thought you'd be bored and you deserved a little bit of time off." He told me pressing the button for the lift once, and then again, and then… I grabbed his hand.

"But those tickets are expensive we're talking…" It occurred to me I didn't actually know how much they cost.

"I hear New Orleans is nice this time of year." He said stepping into the lift, I followed him in speechless. Don interpreted this as bad.

"Look if a weekend away is a little too fast, I understand I mean you could take one of the girls if you wanted to, it's not Stella's kind of thing, but Lindsey… she'd be a good tourist. I just thought you needed it." Don said flustered. I grinned wrapping my arms around his neck as the doors closed behind us.

"I don't want to take Lindsey." I murmured, leaning into him. I kissed his lips gently; his hands went to my hips drawing me closer.

"So when are we going?" I asked him, rubbing my cheek on the stubble of his chin.

"How does this weekend sound?" he asked gruffly, his lips on mine before I could answer. Heat ran through me as I let my hands wander. Flack pulled away slightly.

"You do know we're being filmed." He said pointedly, tilting his head to indicate towards the security camera.

"Let's hope they got a good show." I remarked winking, withdrawing the opposite side of the elevator.

"The things you do to me." Flack muttered as the elevator doors opened. We stepped out walking quickly towards the exit of the building. Climbing into his car, I couldn't wait to get home and show him how much his commitment really meant to me.


	29. Chapter 29: Talking on Phones

**A.N: Eva Black is another OC I was doing a ff with in CSI Miami, her stories are up if you wanna check them out, you don't have to but you can if you want. **

**By the way thanks to all you reviewers! I'm amazed by all of the reviews and I love you all. I'll be getting down to some serious reviewing of my own in the next few weeks, but there might be a lax in chapters. I have written the next part of this, and it's just a matter of typing it up, and I don't actually have my own pc at the mo (I managed to break my laptop) But I will get online some how!**

Chapter Twenty Nine

_I have walked_

_All alone_

_On these streets I call home_

_Streets of hope _

_Streets of fear_

_Through the side walk cracks _

_Time disappears._

_Bon Jovi – Bells Of Freedom_

I picked up the receiver, my hand revealing only the slightest shake, I was still reeling from the news Danny had told me hours ago in the bar. My fingers slipped off each key as I dialled the Miami number I knew from heart. I waited, heart banging, for one of them to pick up. I let out a sigh of relief when she did.

"Hello?" Eva's voice was cautious. The tone told me everything.

"Hey, it's Carmen." I said gently, I heard Eva exhale loudly; I knew I'd done the right thing identifying myself.

"Oh Hey." Eva's voice was more cheerful now. "I've been trying to call you."

I smiled. That was Eva Black directly to the point.

"The hospital let me out a few days late, and I've been staying at Don's since, so I haven't checked my machine." I explained.

"How are you recovering?" she asked, Danny had told her the brief outline of the ordeal, which was good because I didn't have to explain the whole drawn out thing to her right now. I tilted my head, eyes on Don's sleeping form. He lay on his stomach, arms tucked under the pillow, his dark haired head resting on it. I felt myself grin, before leaving the room.

"It hurts if I really do anything to much." I admitted. "But I'm working through it."

"You taking the pain medication?" I grimaced

"Having it forced down me every four hours, except for when I'm sleeping." I said pulling a face.

"God you like Tim." Eva laughed. I decided to approach the other subject.

"How are you doing?" I asked her seriously.

"I'm doing ok; I just need the break, this custody battles driving me insane." She confessed.

"I can't focus and I'm paranoid that Mark's going to snatch Abbey."

"Danny told me how bad it had gotten; I think it's a good idea you coming up here. Are you bringing the kids?" I asked.

"Yea we're staying at Tim's parent's house. I almost took the kids to L.A you know, it's dumb, seriously."

"From what I hear you were desperate, I heard about the threats and the judge too. Out of curiosity what's in L.A?" I asked leaning against the kitchen counter.

"That would be the point Tim made. I guess just because it was the City of Angels and no one would look for us there." I chuckled; the irony wasn't wasted on me.

"So you're coming to New York instead?" I smiled, thinking back to when I saw Eva and the kids last. It was far too long ago.

"Tim suggested it." she said. "And it is a better idea than L.A." she admitted. I nodded my head before realizing she couldn't see me.

"It sounds like a plan. Give me a call when you get here, I'm out of action for a few weeks, so we can hook up." I told her.

"That would be great." The tone in her voice was genuine. I smiled warmly, enjoying the thought of Eva and the kids in New York for a few days.

"How's things between you and Flack?" Eva pointed out. She's met Flack once or twice before we hooked up, through Danny. I grinned again thinking of the sleeping man in bed.

"It's great, he's mothering me a bit, but he's just worried. He got us tickets; we're going to New Orleans at the weekend." I told her, a well of excitement boiling up inside of me.

"What really? That's great." She exclaimed. I laughed.

"It was a complete surprise." I said doodling with the pen on the note pad.

"Hey Carmen you can tell me all about it when I get there. Lily's crying, I better go get her. I'll see you when you come back from New Orleans, I should be in New York by then. Have a fantastic trip, and I'll see you soon." We said our good byes and then hung up. I stayed there resting on the work surface thinking, also a little uneasy about moving due to the five seconds of pain I'd be in. I jumped feeling Don's arms go around me, his lean body against my back.

"Did I ever tell you how sexy you look just wearing my shirt?" he murmured into my ear.

"What this old thing? I found it on the floor." I giggled as he kissed my neck softly.

"As I recall you put it there." He said, moving my hair aside. I turned to face him in his arms.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked, eyes on my hair as he tucked it behind my ears to get a better look of my face.

"Eva's coming to New York for a few days with the kids to get away from things."

"The British chic Speedle married?" he asked his vivid blue eyes on my face. I let my hands caress the soft skin of his chest.

"Her ex is trying to launch a custody battle for one of the kids; he's got some major legal backing. So things are getting a little hot down there." I told him, tracing the outline of his scar with my fingers.

"Isn't it always hot in Miami?" Flack sniggered.

"Very funny…" I remarked rolling my eyes. Flack took my head leading me towards the bed room.

"There's something really funny, in bed, here I'll show you." He murmured playfully. I raised an eyebrow.

"If I didn't know any better I'd be thinking that you were attempting to get me back into bed." I told him as he pulled me through the bedroom door.

"Well yea there's that too."


	30. Chapter 30: Staged

**Part Four**

Chapter Thirty

_I know what you want_

_I wanna take you to a midnight show tonight_

_If you can keep a secret_

_I got a blanket on the backseat on my mind._

_The Killers – Midnight Show_

The music flooded the tent that had been put up to accommodate the band. It was a small gig. Exclusive tickets, not easy to get hold of. The audience were an artist's dream, singing, dancing to the music. It was a brilliant night.

Somewhere to the left of the stage, tucked somewhere near the back. A young couple swayed in time with the song. Her arms were around his neck; his lips were near her ear as he whispered something that made her laugh out loud. His hands wrapped around her lower back, their hips together as they moved. She threw her head back laughing as he continued to whisper, only to be captured by his lips. The kiss was long, sudden but slow.

In the background the pyrotechnics began on stage. The couple pulled away from each other to watch. Something in the centre of the tent stirred, a sudden sound drowned out the music as the lightning rig collapsed hurtling down into the crowd below. The screaming started, the band stopped playing. Above the stage the tent had started to shift from the abrupt movement of the lighting rig. As the tent wobbled, things dropping from other rigs, the couple surged forward towards the main rig in the middle, which lay trapping people. The main body of the crowd surged towards the exits pushing against the couple as they struggled through the throng of people to help. The singer was talking into the microphone rapidly attempting to calm the audience. Some responded, others were in blind panic. The couple reached the fixture and began to help the struggling people trapped near and underneath it. Detective Donald Flack pulled out his cell phone calling for help, watching as his partner tried to soothe the woman whose leg was trapped under the huge lighting fixture. Eyes straying to the surging crowd around him he knew tonight was going to be along one.


	31. Chapter 31: Only in New York City

Chapter Thirty One

_This was an accident_

_Not the kind with sirens around_

_Never even noticed_

_We're suddenly crumbling_

_Tatu – Show Me Love_

"So how are you both doing?" Hawkes asked quietly, dabbing at the cuts on my hands, from attempting to lift the rig off that woman. The sides of it had been viciously sharp, yet at least the woman was free now.

"Aside from being nearly crushed once or twice, hey, I'm dandy." I smacked the back of Flack's head at his retort. Hawkes chuckled as Don chose to sulk.

I winced as Hawkes stuck a solution on a bad cut across my palm, the same place it had been cut in the explosion.

"We're ok, minor cuts and bruises." I told Hawkes light heartily; giving Flack a sidelong look. I knew he was pissed because our date had been cut short, between manic shifts on both our parts the last two months had been a little jam-packed to say the least, add a few visits to the police psychologist from the stabbing, we'd been pretty booked up. It had been hard trying to get a night we were both off and the first time we did we ended up in the middle of crime scene. We fell silent as a body was wheeled past us in a black bag, the first death of the night. I wondered how many more were left.

"So how'd the concert go before…" Hawkes indicated towards the fall erect tent behind us.

"It was good." I said hopping off the stretcher that had been set up. Hawkes turned to Flack.

"Your turn." Flack shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm good." I rolled my eyes, yanking up the sleeve of Don's shirt revealing a nasty looking gash on his fore arm. Flack glared at me as Hawkes whistled.

"Nasty." Hawkes said, pouring some of his solution onto a cotton bud. Don clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes at me as over Hawkes head.

"Don't be such a baby." I teased him. "The sooner Sheldon fixes that arm the sooner you can get to work." Flack rolled his eyes at me.

"If I wanted to work, I wouldn't of tried so hard to get the night off." He retorted. I bit the inside of my mouth to keep myself from snapping at him. I drifted off into the crowd to find Mac.

Mac happened to be deep in conversation with the fire chief so I diverted my attention to the elegant Stella instead. She was leaning against the Crime Scene vehicle eyes on the tent.

"How you doing?" she asked pointedly glancing at the tent. I followed her gaze, also leaning against the car.

"We were away from the centre so minor cuts and bruises from trying to move the lighting rig, and getting people out on our side. There's still people trapped din that side of the tent." I said pointing at the apart that looked like it was going to collapse. I glanced at Mac and the fire chief.

"I think that's what they're discussing. There's a lot of electric equipment in there, and it's dangerous. The priority is evacuation. Probably a good thing you guys were here." Stella said coolly.

"All hands on deck?" I asked her.

"Probably for the next four hours. I can't imagine what state the scenes going to be in afterwards, but we'll see what we can work with." Stella warned me, I rolled up the sleeved of my frilled wine colour shirt.

"You got a hair tie I can borrow?" I asked. Stella nodded taking one out of her bag. My gaze strayed to Lindsey and Danny who was now in deep conversation with Flack, who was looking away from the stitching that, was occurring in his arm. I felt kind of bad for leaving him there. I tied my hair back pushing those thoughts away and focusing on Mac as he moved towards us.

"The chief's gonna have to saw through the metal and switch off the electricity to get those people out. At the minute the singer and the rest of the band are managing to keep them calm, whilst fielding requests from fans." My jaw dropped open.

"Your kidding right?" Stella said as I managed to close my mouth. A ghost of a smile crossed Mac's lips.

"Only in New York City."


	32. Chapter 32: Burning Down The House

Chapter Thirty Two

_I am a vision_

_I am justice_

_Never thought that I could love_

_Living in shadows a faded existence _

_It was never good enough_

_Within the darkness_

_You were the light that shined in front of me_

_I'm trapped in violence_

_I could be that man who saves the day._

_The Calling – For You_

"You seen how bad this guys face is, it's unrecognisable." I choked as Hawkes stated the truth, feeling a little queasy.

"He got hit in the head with a lighting rig what did you expect?" I asked arms crossed, eyes not on where the guys face should have been. Hawkes leaned forward intrigued while I edged back.

"Not liking what you see?" Marty asked me, with a wide smirk. I shook my head in reply. Marty grinned and went back to examining the body.

"I've seen worse." Hawkes commented. I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"A guy got squished between two containers, we called him spatula man until we got a name." I frowned unsure what to say.

"How nice of you?" I remarked dryly. Hawkes looked up grinning at me, I shook my head smiling.

"So, he pretty much died of blunt force trauma to the face?" I questioned Marty steering the conversation back to our dead body.

"To the brain, massive trauma." Marty said simply. My cell phone ringing cut off the rest of his words. I stepped away answering it. After listening to Mac's instructions I hung up and turned to the two men with a dry smile.

"This one's yours Hawkes, I just got another call out." He waved me off as I left the morgue.

The building in front of me was on fire, flames licked at the first floor as smoke bellowed from it.

"Just one question?" I said to Flack whose eyes were also on the flaming structure.

"How the hell am I supposed to process it if it's still on fire?" I asked glaring at the burning building apprehensive. I hadn't stopped working in over four hours and it was supposed to be my night off, totalled with he hours I'd worked during the day, it was coming up to sixteen.

"You're investigating that one." Flack said pointing to the building net to it, which remained relatively sturdy and untouched.

"Shouldn't the fire brigade be putting that out?" I asked as we crossed the road, towards the building I was investigating. Man I could feel the heat from here.

"Most of them are still stuck at the big top, traffic's madness right now too it's late night rush hour, it's a good thing we were so close…" I held up a hand sshhing him. Don let out a deep sigh.

"Carmen, you know I hate it when you…" I sshhed him again. My gaze straying to the burning building in front of me. The cry came again, my eyes searched each window.

"Shit." This time I know Don heard it. A child's face appeared at a window on the third floor. I found myself following on towards the alley around the side of the building, towards a fire escape. The heat from the fire was immense but it hadn't quite reached this part of the building but it was consistently climbing higher.

"I thought this building was supposed to be empty." I said to Don as he whipped his cell out and dialled the number.

"There must be an apartment above the shop." Don said covering his face with his sleeve as we moved to the fire escape. He hung up is phone shaking his head.

"They said ten minutes." Don said staring up at the building trying to judge its intensity.

"They're not going to last ten minutes." I told him. My eyes went to the fire escape, I knew the both of us couldn't live with ourselves if we didn't help.

"Give me a boost up to the ladder…I'll slid it down." I told Don, covering my hands with the long sleeves of my coat careful not to burn them. Flack linked his fingers together letting me stand on them, I grabbed his shoulder for balance until I got steady enough to grab the ladder and yank it down. The heat from the flames hit me as I climbed the ladder, Don literally seconds behind me. As he climbed towards the third floor. I stopped reaching it and peered through the window, Don came to a stop standing on the platform, behind me looking down.

"The fire's getting worse." He stated. A head suddenly appeared scaring the crap out of me. I jumped nearly knocking Don backwards off the fire escape. He out his hands on either side of my arms to steady himself and me.

"Easy." He said calmly. I took a deep breath grounding myself as the little girl started banging on the window a bundle wrapped in her arms. I tried to open it from the bottom finding it nailed shut.

"Shit." I murmured. Don pushed me back behind him as the fire flared up next to us.

"Stand back." He yelled. I wasn't sure whether it was to them or me. He took his gun out and slammed it against the glass in the window. It shattered on impact as Don shielded his face from it. He stuck his arm in, and removed some of the glass from the frame. He reached in taking the tiny bundle from the young girl and handing it to me.

"Take the baby and get down the fire escape. I'll grab the girl." He directed. I nodded taking the squirming bundle from him and beginning the decent down the fire escape. Siren's in the background pierced my ears as I hit the snow-covered ground, baby still encased in my arms. I moved swiftly across the road, the baby in my arms crying. I patted it's back, turning around to see Flack a few steps behind me, the little girl in his arms. Behind us the fire raged. Feeling out of breath, and coughing, I jiggled the baby in attempt to quiet him, with no such luck. Feeling my legs go weak I slid down dropping onto the curb. Flack put the little girl down and crouched in front of her as she wiped her eyes.

"Hey I'm Don." He said putting his hand out to shake hers.

"I'm a detective with the NYPD, what's your name?" he asked. The little girl took his hand shaking it.

"Millie." She said quietly. Don whistled.

"Wow, Millie's a great name and who's that?" he asked pointing to the baby in my hands who was twisting and turning in my grasp. Somehow along the line the kid had found my hair and was now proceeding to yank it in his tiny-balled fists.

"Erm a little help here." I muttered, holding up the screaming baby who was still attached to my hair. Don stood up, taking Millie's hand he moved towards me, and took the baby from my hands with a small smile.

"His name's Joshua, and you were holding him wrong." Millie told me.

"Millie this is Carmen." Don introduced us as she dropped down on the curb next to me. I noticed her shivering.

"Here." I took off my jacket and slipped around her trembling shoulders. She gave a grateful smile. I put my arm around her attempting to warm her up.

"Is he holding him the right way?" I asked pointing at Don, who had Joshua already wrapped in his leather jacket and was rocking him from side to side, the kid was giggling now. Don looked like he was good with the kid. It wasn't hard to imagine him as a father one day. I shuddered. Thought about that one a little too soon.

"Millie, where's your mama?" I asked her. Millie shook her head, before resting it on her knees.

"I don't know she goes out at night." My mouth went dry, as I started to piece together some things in my head. At least she wasn't in there.

"You were really brave you know, your mommy will be proud." I told her. I saw the fire truck swerve around the corner as grind to a halt and ambulance not far behind. The flames had reached past the third floor and were now reaching higher. I shivered glad to have got the kids out. One of the Crime Scene Cars cruised around the corner following the ambulance. I diverted my eyes to the fire crew who had now snapped into action and wee attempting bitterly to out the fire.

"Millie, how old are you?" I asked curious. Millie raised her head towards me.

"Six and a half." She recounted.

"And Joshua?" I asked, watching the ambulance pull to a stop.

"Seven months." I looked at her impressed. The ambulance crew were opening the back of the ambulance.

"Right Millie we're going to let the ambulance crew take a look at you ok? See, if you or your brother were hurt by the smoke. When they're finished, I'll be right here, or near here at least." I told her rising to my feet. Millie nodded taking my hand as I walked her to the ambulance. I helped Millie into the ambulance before turning to the paramedic.

"She was trapped in the building along with her brother." I said pointing at Flack who was walking towards us grinning down at the baby boy in is arms, who was in fact still giggling. I stared at him perplexed wondering how he did it.

"We can't leave you alone for a second can we Devine?" Danny's voice behind me made me turn towards him, hands on my hips. Danny peered around me into the ambulance as Flack moved next to him from the right, holding the excitable baby boy. Joshua reached for Danny's glasses. Danny took them back from the tiny hands as Lindsey laughed.

"Sorry kid, these cost me too many bucks to let you play with them. What is it with kids, they always go straight for the glasses." Danny said pulling away from the baby as Joshua put his arms around Flack's neck babbling.

"What's with all the rug rats anyway?" Danny asked retaining his posture.

"You and Flack decided to start a family already?" Flack's elbow caught Danny in the gut as he passed the baby to the paramedic.

"Sorry Danny boy didn't see you there." Flack grinned, his eyes twinkling.

"The kids were trapped in that building." I said jerking my thumb toward the flaming mess behind us.

"Hence the soot on their faces Danny." Lindsey pointed out. Danny turned to say something to her but Flack cut him off.

"See, she's a real CSI, not of this questioning crap, she studied the evidence." Danny rolled his eyes.

"Your gonna let Montana's head get so big she won't be able to get back in the car." Danny replied. I widened in my eyes in mock shock.

"Anyway how come you two are here? I thought they wanted all hands on deck with the big top case." I said stifling a yawn, the lack of sleep, food and energy was catching up on me.

"Mac sent us. There's a series of arson cases going on and he thought this one was connected." Danny told me.

"The flames make him think that?" I responded without thinking.

"Besides it's an old building why would anyone wanna burn it down?" I said thoughtfully. Danny shrugged. "Probably one of those people that get turned on by fire, what do you call them?" Danny fumbled.

"Pyromaniacs." Lindsey inserted helping him out. My eyes went to Flack with a knowing grin. Flack raised his hands in surrender.

"Hey, she's still in prison for that." I couldn't resist the smile that was creeping across my face. The fire next to us out, leaving a smouldering wreckage of a building.

"OK, you guys take that scene and I will keep an eye on the kids until social services get here." I said. Lindsey nodded her response.

"What about your case?" Danny asked, eyes on me intent. Flack moved away from us towards the crowd that was gathering in the street.

"It's currently on fire." I told him nodding at the building as the fire crew rushed to out the fire out that had spread from the original scene.

"Carmen?" Danny began with a tone of warning.

"I want to find their mother." I blurted out suddenly. Danny's eyes studied me for a second.

"Clear it with Mac." He said bluntly.

"Says the guy who ignored a direct order and set out to find the injustice of the man who spray painted a dead homeless guy." I snorted.

"And look what I got from it." Danny argued. "I just started to gain Mac's trust back now. Look all I'm saying is talk to him."

Danny turned his back on me and followed Lindsey towards the fire crew to check out the security of their scene.


	33. Chapter 33: Not The Doctor

Chapter Thirty Three

_Mind the empty bottle_

_With the holes long the bottom_

_You see it's too much to ask for_

_And I'm not the doctor_

_Alanis Morissette – Not The Doctor_

"So your saying that the window was nailed shut?" Stella exclaimed leaning against the desk in Mac's office. I nodded.

"Flack had use the butt of his gun to break it open." I told her. Stella's gaze went to Mac, whose eyes focused on me. He'd been silent all the way through this story. He shifted, leaning forward.

"You want to run with it?" The question was also a statement. I nodded again.

"What about you other case?" I opened my mouth to respond but Stella's words reached my ears first.

"I'll take it." She said suddenly. I turned to her mouth hanging open. She turned around, her eyes on Mac.

"Carmen, can take the mother and I can take this case."

"What about the big top?" As soon as Mac mentioned it I knew there was something off, he didn't want me near this case.

"You and Sheldon are near closing it." Stella replied smoothly. Mac's eyes were still on me, he wasn't blinking. I shifted uneasy in my seat beginning to find myself getting more and more paranoid.

"Stella can you leave us alone a minute?" Mac asked. Stella's eyes went from me to Mac and then to me again.

"Sure." She said frowning before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind her. Mac picked up the pen on the desk and twisted it in between his hands. I felt myself beginning to sweat. He was still just looking at me.

"Have you been the doctor's yet?" The question was straight to the point yet so out of the blue; it made my mind stutter for a moment. How did he know that? Even Don didn't know that. No one did.

"No." I replied shortly.

"But he has called you back, repeatedly?" Mac questioned. I sighed feeling that I was being interrogated and nodded.

"And you haven't gone?" I shook my head, staring at the bandage on my hand.

"How did you know?" Ma looked away, lost in a memory.

"I saw what damage you had after the beating. Even when Mathew stabbed you, you were already bleeding internally, your doctors told me that. I know what damage that can do especially to a woman." He told me, reverting his gaze back to me. I bit my lip, turning my head away. I didn't even want to think about this, about that possibility.

"I didn't want to give you this case because I thought it would be too personal." He told me. I interrupted him.

"It's about them Mac, not me. I know that. It's about two kids trapped in a burning building, needing their mother." I said exasperated. Mac's eyes searched mine, studying the genuineness of the claim.

"Just let me do this. Let me have this case, and I will do it, I'll go see the doctor." I reasoned.

"As soon as possible?" he asked.

"As soon as the case is over, I give you my word." I told him firmly. His eyes never strayed from my face.

"I'll let you run with this, but the moment I think you're too involved I'm pulling you off it. Do I make myself clear?"

"I wouldn't expect any less." I confessed.

"You can leave now." I did as I was told, my brain forcing away the complexities that could lead from the conversation we'd just had.


	34. Chapter 34: Social Services

Chapter Thirty Four

_Cause I'm out of my mind_

_I'm out of my mind_

_I'm out of my mind_

_I'm out of my mind._

_James Blunt – Out of My Mind_

I was in the social services building, moving quickly towards the reception desk, my eyes and hands searching through my hand bag for the gum I knew I kept in there somewhere. I walked smack bang into someone. Mumbling my apologies I gazed up with surprise to see the Flack's face mimicking my expression.

"Don?" I frowned as he crossed his arm over his chest looking immediately defensive.

"Carmen? What are you doing here?" he asked gruffly, looking around.

"I could ask you the same question." I said raising an eyebrow, curious.

"Mac gave me this case to run with." I informed him. Flack's eyes narrowed.

"I was just questioning them." He said suddenly. I eyed him suspicious and confused.

"Questioning…?" I repeated.

"Ok, ok, I wanted to see how the little guys were doing." He told me resigned. I stared at him fitting things into place. Talk about a guilty conscience.

"Ahh, so big bad Detective Flack as a heart after all?" I teased. He leaned into me whispering conspiringly.

"Don't let it get around."

I shook my head grinning widely.

"You were really good with Joshua, how did you do it?" I asked thoughtfully thinking back to last night. Flack shrugged.

"I got a lot of kids in the family, got a lot of cousins, nieces and nephews." Flack explained. His ability to handle the baby was now no longer a mystery.

"So you're the fun Uncle Don?" I asked my mind going back to the way he seemed to click with the children straight from the beginning. He smoothed some hair away from my face, his gorgeous blue eyes on mine.

"You'll find out at Christmas. My parents invited you over, they know we're together and they…I was wondering if you wanted to come over for Christmas Day, or Boxing Day, or both. It's a massive family thing, but it is a bit overwhelming." He admitted thoughtfully.

"But you are welcome to come."

I felt a huge smile take over my face.

"I'd like that." We were on the move towards reception again.

"I took Danny once." He told me.

"He gets on better with the kids than with the rest of my relatives. They were a bit apprehensive towards him because he's from downtown New York. Don't worry they'll like you fine." He said quickly.

"They're over that whole complex. My mom and pops like you a lot. So they've been spreading the good word." He confessed with a light chuckle.

"You make me sound like a saint." Flack shrugged with a pained look on his face.

"To them you kind of are." I tilted my head grimly in response.

"What about you?" I decided to change the subject.

"A baby Flack Jnr in your thoughts?" I asked playfully. Don looked away down the corridor where he's come from.

"I'd like to have a family one day, you know like my mom and pops, big family, loads of kids, house wife to cook me meals when I arrive from a hard day at the station." He laughed looking at me pointedly. I glared at him light heartedly, before feeling a pang of sadness take me.

"You've got the wrong woman then Flack." I told him half serious.

"I think I got the right one." He said, from the look on his face I knew he was being sincere. I withdrew form the banter, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Look I've got to get back to work… See how the kids are doing and get a description of their mother, I'll catch up with you later." We said our good byes before going our own separate ways.

---

"Hey Millie, remember me?" I said giving Millie a five finger wave as she. Millie's arms were around my waist, hugging me before I had even a chance to register the fact she'd moved.

"Carmen! You came back." She said hugging me fiercely. I smoothed her hair surprised by the reaction I was getting.

"What have you been up to kiddo?" I asked crouching down to her level. She pulled a piece of paper off the table and showed me a drawing she'd done.

"They let us colour and draw, I read this book." She held out a book to me. I picked it up and flicked through it.

"I'm impressed." I told her. It was true I was impressed how well she was doing.

"Millie, is it ok if I ask you a few questions about mommy?" I asked her curling up on the red bean bag. Millie's head rested on my shoulder as she flicked through the book she'd previously given me. Millie nodded.

"What colour hair does mommy have? Is it dark like yours?" I asked stroking Millie's hair away from her face. Millie shook her head.

"It's yellow with black bits at the top." Millie told me. Bleached blond then.

"How long is mommy's hair? Is it short like yours?" I asked. Millie nodded in response, eyes still on the book in front of her. Millie's hair was longer than a bob.

"Do you have the same colour eyes as mommy?" I asked glancing at the pictures in the book.

"Mommy's eyes are different they look like grass." Millie told me. Green then.

"Do you know how old mommy is?" I asked filling in each level of the descriptions as they came into my head.

"I think she's twenty four, she had a birthday a few weeks ago, I think one of her cards said twenty four."

"You're very observant." I told her surprised she remembered that. Man that was young, that meant she had Millie when she was at most eighteen. I could see how parts of her life story went.

"Ok, you've been really good so far. Did mommy have any friends that she brought to the house?"

"She brought Geoffrey home a lot, he's really tall, mommy said over six foot and he had drawings all over him." Tattoos? Was Geoffrey a pimp? Most the girls that lived in that area were working girls, and it had already been confirmed by neighbours that Tracey Gibson had been leaving the house ay strange hours of the night. After reading to Millie for a few minutes I left the social services building with a many thoughts running around my head, there was only one place I could go to get more answers. Avoiding the patches of ice on the ground I tread carefully on the way to the station house.


	35. Chapter 35: Welcome To Vice

Chapter Thirty Five

_How the hell we wind up like this?_

_Why weren't we able?_

_To see the signs that we missed?_

_And try and turn the tables_

_I wish you'd unclench your fists_

_And pack your suitcase_

_Lately there's been too much of this_

_But don't think it's too late_

_Nothings wrong_

_Just as long as you know that someday I will_

_Someday, somehow, I'm gonna make it alright _

_But not right now_

_I know your wondering when_

_Nickleback – Someday_

The Vice Squad offices were smaller than homicides. I glanced around stepping in to the room taking in the lay out. Seeing me, a sandy haired detective stood up and moved towards me a wide smile on his face.

"Detective Devine? My name's Detective O'Brian." I shook the hand he held out to me with a warm smile. I liked his strong Irish accent.

"Call me Carmen." I said politely.

"Daniel." I pulled away my hand and followed him to his desk.

"I hear your looking for someone." She said falling back into his chair, elbows on the arms relaxed. I didn't like the way he gave me the once over, especially when he did it the second time.

"I'm looking for two someone's but maybe one can help us find the other." I said thoughtfully. I gave him my description of Tracey Gibson, watching as O'Brian fed it into the computer. He turned his gaze towards me with a strange smile.

"You know that pros don't usually give us their real names?" he ventured. I nodded passively before responding with.

"See if somehow you can cross reference it with a 6 ft guy called Geoffrey, tattoos on his arms and chest." O'Brian looked intrigued as I spoke, he didn't turn back to the computer.

"By chance where did you get these descriptions?" I blinked at him.

"Tracy Gibson's six year old daughter." I told him, focusing on the screen; his eyes were still on my face.

"So it was you that charged into that burnt out building?" he said looking at me with renewed interest. I crossed my hands over my chest.

"Me and Detective Flack." I said honestly. Something crossed O'Brian's face; it was so fast I thought I missed it.

"It was very brave of you." I dismissed the compliment with the shake of my head.

"Anyone would have done it." Feeling uncomfortable I tried to switch the talk back to the case.

"Is that her?" I asked pointing at the screen. O'Brian clicked on the name coming up.

"Ahh." He breathed. "Trixie. I remember her."

I watched as he scrolled down the page at an antagonistically slow pace.

"Oh." The word slipped out as more words jumped at me from the screen. O'Brian let out a deep sigh.

"She's deceased as of yesterday." I felt a pang of regret run through me, as I thought about those kids sitting there in the building waiting for her to come back. I wondered what would have happened if we weren't there…O'Brian slipped a hand around my shoulder.

"You look shaken doll; let me take you out for a drink." I turned to him with a disturbed frown.

"A coffee." He exclaimed catching my drift. I took a deep breath grounding myself.

"Really I should be getting back and…" he cut me off.

"Just one, I can acquaint you with the case while we're there. I missed my morning cup and I drag along all day without it." He told me. Shrugging, I saw no harm in it, I took the print outs and the file of O'Brian's desk and went with him to the coffee shop over the road.

After an argument about who was buying the coffee, we managed to finally sit down and discuss the case. Tracey/Trixie had been a pro since before the age of eighteen after her parents kicked her out when she was pregnant. She did drugs occasionally with her clients, but she was safe she never took her client's home, she put her kids first.

Troubled I asked O'Brian if I could keep the picture, if only something to give Millie and Joshua to remind them of their mother.

"So tell me a bit about yourself?" Suddenly it dawned on me why we were in a coffee shop and not the station.

"There's nothing really to tell. Look I've got to go and check out a few leads." I said standing up; I slid some bills down across the table. O'Brian's hand covered mine.

"You haven't even finished your coffee yet." O' Brian exclaimed. The bell on the coffee shop door rang behind me.

"I'm a busy girl." I replied, following O'Brian's gaze behind me. Flack had just walked in, laughing and joking with a few of his buddies from homicide. His eyes landed on me, with a affectionate smile he broke away from the group flanked by his usual partner Nick Henderson.

"Look O'Brian, I really have to go." I said wrenching my hand from the determined Vice cop's grasp.

"Hey Devine, this isn't your usual hangout, you stalking me?" Flack said mid stride, his arms open. I reacted instinctively as I always did when me and Flack bantered.

"You wish." I smiled at him. O'Brian let out a deep laugh. Flack's face darkened as he watched O'Brian stand up and lean against the table next to me.

"She's a real firecracker this one." He said with a broad grin. I saw Flack's jaw tighten. In the background, Henderson shot me a worried look.

"Carmen was just letting me buy her a coffee, weren't you doll?" he said clapping a hand on my back. I felt my whole body tense, as I resisted the urge to smack O'Brian around the back of his stupid head. I knew there were a good few eyes on us, making a scene in a cop's coffee shop was a really bad thing. Yet there was something underneath all this, I couldn't place my finger on it, but something else had happened between these two and everyone seemed to know it.

"I did just buy my own." I muttered, sliding the files, oh so slowly, off the table and into my arms, whilst stepping away from O'Brian. Right now I didn't need this. I caught sight of Henderson taking slow deliberate steps towards us. My eyes rested on Flack's clenched fists.

"Look fellas, it's been fun and all, but I've got to go follow up some leads. I'll catch you later." I said pointedly to Don, who gave no indication of even hearing me. His furious, cold eyes remained on O'Brian.

"Sure doll anytime." O'Brian's voice behind me made me cringe. I saw Don's eyes narrow, and his jaw clench just that little bit harder. Henderson was beside me now, taking my arm in a firm but gentle grip.

"I'll walk you out." He murmured under his breath before calling to Flack.

"Get the coffees in, I'll be right back." As we moved past Don's buddies, Henderson jerked his head towards a sharp looking brunette.

"Morris, get him away from O'Brian before we have a riot on our hands." He muttered. Morris nodded in response and climbed to his feet, moving towards Flack. I could O'Brian's innate chatter in the background.

Before I knew it we were outside and Henderson was rounding on me.

"What the hell are you doing here with O'Brian?" he whispered at me, running a hand through his hair.

"Is that code for don't come here ever again its precinct territory?" I responded without thinking.

"It's no such thing and you know it." Henderson shot back. He folded his arms over his chest and stared at me patiently. After a minute I broke.

"I needed information about a case I'm working on. It was information about a pro, unfortunately I got that jerk. By the way, is he like the cootie cop or something, because that's kind of childish." I said jerking my thumb at the coffee shop. Henderson let a tiny smile slip out before recovering quickly.

"He's a sleaze. Out of everyone in vice they had to give you him." Henderson replied looking at the ground. I frowned, knowing there was more to it then that.

"What's with Don and this particular sleaze? I mean I've dealt with sleazy guys before and Don with girls. We usually laugh about them. So why is O'Brian such a sore point?" I asked suspicious. Henderson's mouth fixed in a grim line. I let out a sigh.

"Nick…" I pressed, putting my hands on my hips.

"Nick…This is stupid." I pushed him further.

"Ask Flack." He muttered.

"I would but we both know the moment I step in there, there's gonna be a shootout and he's gonna be the one holding the gun." Henderson bowed his head, scuffing the ground with his shoe; he looked off in the distance before answering me.

"O'Brian slept with Flack's girlfriend." I raised my eyebrows, shocked.

"Flack's last girl friend?" he nodded briefly. I ran through the details in my head, she was blond, her name was Carla, they'd dated for a year before…he didn't say why they broke up. I knew they'd been serious. I fell silence, unsure what to say.

"They didn't just break up…" I was repeating it out loud. I wrapped my arms around myself. Henderson's eyes were on me sympathetic.

"They'd been sleeping together for over a month before he found out." Henderson sighed after he said it. I listened carefully. He was staring across at the precinct.

"Some people think it was because O'Brian got passed over for promotion into homicide by Flack. Others think he's just a bastard, hence Flack not being too impressed to see you too holding hands." I glared at Henderson as he smirked at me.

"I wasn't holding hands with him, I threw the money down on the table and he put his hands over it." I snapped at Henderson, sick of being caught up in this whole sorry mess. Henderson put his hands on my shoulders, bowing his head to look into his eyes. I let out a sigh calming myself. Flack trusted Henderson hence I did.

"Look Carmen I believe you. I like you, I like you and Don together, you're good for him and you make him happy. You took care of him with the thing." He gestured with his hand towards his chest. I caught his drift. He was starring me directly in the eye.

"Just do me a favour, just don't screw this up. Don't see O'Brian unless it's necessary. By all means go see any of the guys in Vice, just not O'Brian, he's bad news especially when it comes to Flack." Henderson pulled his hands away, straightening up. I took in his advice. I really didn't want to screw things up with Don. I tilted my head towards the coffee shop, deep in thought.

"You better get back in there before he dumps a coffee pot over O'Brian's head."

Henderson gave a small smile, crossing his arms.

"I'll catch you later Carmen."

"Yea thanks for that Nick." I said giving him a tiny wave.

"No problem." I turned away from the coffee shop, wishing that life was a whole lot simpler.


	36. Chapter 36: Playing The Game

Chapter Thirty Six

_I'm the man, I'm the king, I'm the one  
That's pure inside  
Everyday, everyway I smell of suicide  
Bitter sins how they grow within  
So you tell me it ain't right  
I am...all sins  
And you're my reason for life_

_Soil – Halo_

The next stop for me, unfortunately was the morgue. I hated the idea that Millie and Joshua's mother was lying on that slab.

"Hey." I said to Marty striding in folders still in hand.

"You got a Tracey Gibson in here?" I held out the picture for him to see. Marty squinted at it for a second before moving towards one of the metal drawers and yanking it open.

"Yea it's the same girl." He replied as I moved along side him to examine the peaceful blue face.

I need the report, can you walk me through this?" I asked, my words evaporated into the silence of the morgue. Marty obliged pulling the blue sheet further down to reveal the bruising on Tracey Gibson's neck. I stared at the huge hand prints on her throat.

"Cause of death, asphyxiation, the handprints are probably male. Got track marks up and down the arms but their old she hasn't been using for a while now." Marty told me. That was good to know.

"There's skin under her fingernails, could get a DNA comparison from it." I nodded thoughtfully. Marty closed the drawer and handed me a small plastic bag filled with random objects.

"Personal effects." I said taking them from him, Marty nodded in response, before leaving the morgue without a smile.

In the lab I slipped off my jacket ad pulled on the lab coat. After settling down on a stool, I tipped the contents on to the desk in front of me, eyeing each one with curiosity. The first thing I picked up was the small gold locket, opening it I found a tiny picture of a younger Millie, and a more up to date version of Joshua. I sighed putting it to one side. Amongst the assortment of foil wrappers, I found some folded up papers. Carefully I unraveled the paper. It was an enrollment form for a university; I did the same with the next piece, finding some job application form. It dawned on me that that she was trying to get out of that life, she was trying to get off the streets and do the best for his kids. I picked up the cell phone surprised to find it still working, going trough the numbers in the registered calls list I found the name G coming up several times. It didn't take a genius to work out maybe this as Geoffrey. The problem with Geoffrey, O'Brian was explaining was that he had no fixed address. He moved around far too much. I knew that Geoffrey was her pimp, his lead girl had just been killed and I knew he'd be on the market for another. I picked up the cell phone and dialed.

After managing to get myself an appointment with the mysterious G, a "try out" he called it. I decided to check out my options knowing that Flack and everyone else would have my ass if I met with a known felon alone; I dialed his office number off the crime lab phone. As it turned out Flack and Henderson were investigating a triple homicide on Coney Island. I called Vice asking them to hook me up with the nice detective I'd spoken to firstly about the case, called Cartwright, they said they'd be happy to oblige. Ten minutes later I was in the parking lot, staring at O'Brian leaning against the crime lab's vehicle, waiting for me.

"Carmen are you trying to boycott me from our investigation?" he asked feigning a hurt expression I put the key in the lock glaring at him.

"My case you mean?" O'Brian smirked, infuriating me more.

"No doll, I mean our case, the moment you stepped into Vice it became a joint investigation..." I narrowed my eyes at him over the bonnet of the car.

"You're kidding me right?" I said with disgust. He smiled shaking his head.

"No doll I'm not."

"So you seriously have nothing better to do than ride my case?" I exclaimed folding my arms over my chest furious.

"I can officially make it mine, the girl's a pro, she's vice property. You either work with me or it's mine." He stated. I felt my nostrils flare as I fought to keep myself in check.

"You're an assshole…" I began. He cut me off before I could say more.

"Save the profanities, I've heard them all before." I opened the car door slamming it behind me, he yanked open his before I could lock it. Sliding into the seat next to me I felt a mixture of frustration and bitter rage fill me.

"No wonder nobody likes you." I growled snidely. O'Brian shook it off.

"It's because I don't want them to doll."

I banged on the door for the third time, ignoring O'Brian's leering gaze.

"So, how did you get Geoffrey Danvers to agree to a meeting?" I kept my mouth shut and continued banging.

He leaned around the corner out of sight of the doorway.

"You pretended you were a pro didn't you?" I hit the door harder. It swung open as I raised my fist again.

"You're a feisty on aren't ya?" Geoffrey Danvers was 6ft 2, with long brown hair, and a hell of a lot of tattoos. He opened the door wider, giving me a toothy smile.

"Why don't you get along in here and show me what you can do?" he said ushering me inside, O'Brian stepped out behind me as I flicked my suit jacket open revealing the gun and badge.

"You're a cop." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Could of made a lot of money off you." He said looking me up and down. I sneered at him.

"Your coming down the station house Geoffrey I've got a warrant fro your DNA." It was then he tried to bolt, I saw it coming. I threw myself at him, grabbing his wrist and twisting it behind his back as he hit the wall. O'Brian as next to me cuffing Geoffrey's wrists.

"Nice one." He grinned impressed pushing the struggling pimp out of the door. I shrugged.

"I hold my own pretty well." I told him before following him to the car.

"The DNA tests come back as a positive match to you Geoffrey, and your hands are just the right size to put you in the frame for this crime." I slammed my palms on the desk forcing Geoffrey's gaze to meet mine.

"She was coming clean wasn't she? She was getting out of the street life. I found the application forms, she was going back to college, and getting a job." I was yelling now. Geoffrey looked at me calmly before responding with a disinterested.

"You know how much she was worth detective; she pulled in hundreds a night. She would of lost me a fortune."

"You left her two kids parentless." I retorted. "You left them to die in abandoned building,." I couldn't believe that someone could do that. I bowed my head taking a step back reining my temper in.

"I would of taken the daughter, she'd be worth a few books." Something inside me snapped. Before I realized it, O'Brian had me by the arms and was yanking me backwards away from Geoffrey Danvers and the interrogation room. The door slammed shut as he pulled me into the corridor raging. He held me arms pinned, until I stopped. Footsteps echoed down the corridor. I pulled myself out of O'Brian's grasp, leaning against the wall and running my hands through my hair taking deep breaths.

"We have the confession…and the evidence, he's going down. There's no use losing your career over him doll." O'Brian said resting a hand on my shoulder. I raised my head meeting his doe brown eyes.

"I just wish it would bring back their mother." I confessed to him. O'Brian leaned closer towards me, slipping his arm around my shoulders.

"You can give them the answers, they're mother was trying to protect them from that life. You did a good job doll." I covered my face with my hands and then relaxed. It was just another thing I didn't want to face.

"Come for a drink with me?" The question was so out of the blue I found myself staring at him dumbfounded. I mangled to pull myself away, stalking down the corridor away from all the mind games; I called back over my shoulder.

"Nice try O'Brian, I'd rather take my chances with Danvers."


	37. Chapter 37: Finnished

Chapter Thirty Seven

Thanks for all you've done  
I've missed you for so long  
I can't believe you're gone  
You still live in me  
I feel you in the wind  
You guide me constantly

_Alter Bridge – In loving Memory_

"Carmen, your back?" Millie's arms wrapped around my hips for the second time today. We were standing in the social workers office. She'd let me have it after I told her the news of Millie's mother. I let out a tiny sigh, feeling the guilt wrench at me. Bending down I took her by the shoulders and hugged her close.

"Millie, I have something to tell you." I began, tears stinging at my own eyes. I'd done this a million times but never to a child, never to one as undeserving as this.

Leaning on my knees I pulled away and looked directly into her eyes. I owed this to her.

"I've spent all day looking for your mother, and I… I got justice for what happened." I told her, she looked me confused.

"I'm sorry, honey, your mother died." Millie's mouth formed a wide "o" before the tears erupted. I took her sobbing form into my arms, clutching her head to me. I closed my eyes forcing back my own tears.

"She fought baby, she fought to give you both a better life. It's important for you to remember that." I murmured into her shoulder, as her tiny body quivered. All her grief was in each quiet sob, and each time my heart wrenched that tiny bit harder, until all my dams broke and I was suddenly crying along with her over the injustice of it all. All I could do was tell her how sorry I was.

---

After leaving Millie in the car of the social worker and giving her, the picture of her mother I found myself at my next appointment trembling slightly. The pain from Millie still coursed through me mixed with the fear of what lay ahead. Doctor Marshall cleared his throat from over the desk; my eyes strayed to his kind features.

"To be honest I'm surprised to see you here Carmen, I got the impression you were avoiding me." I bowed my head with a tiny smile, staring at my hands.

"I was Doc." I confessed, I could feel myself on pins.

"I suppose you want to know what this is all about?" I stayed focused on my hands.

"I think I already do." I murmured. Doc Marshall took a deep breath.

"There's no easy way to say this Carmen." I exhaled as he spoke.

"When we opened you up for emergency surgery it was apparent that you had massive internal bleeding that wasn't caused from the stab wound, although that did contribute. It seems you suffered a sharp blow to the abdomen." I turned my head towards the window staring at the rain as it fell from the greying sky. I swallowed hard as the memories of that night flooded back.

"Mathew, he kicked me when I was down on the floor, the boots were steel toe capped." I managed to get out. My mouth was dry, I couldn't look at Doc Marshall, I didn't want to see the pity in those eyes.

"The kick, resulted in massive internal bleeding, coupled with the trauma of the stab wound, your womb was damaged, and although we managed to stem the bleeding to save your life, the damage it turns out was irreparable." The world around me shifted and rocked. A torrent of emotion whipping up inside me at the news.

"You're saying I can't have children?" I repeated the phrase that was running through my mind at a light speed capacity. The doctor nodded grimly. I looked up at the ceiling, tears stinging my eyes bitterly. I swallowed hard. Don's words were in my head.

"_I'd like to have a family one day…loads of kids." _I closed my eyes for a brief second whilst the room span. I stood up abruptly, surprising the Doctor and myself. I grabbed my coat and pulled it on.

"Thanks Doc." I muttered, snatching up my handbag, a numbness filling me. The doctor stood up as I moved towards his door quickly, his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Wait Carmen, I am really sorry, there is help you can get, talk to a counsellor. Don't keep this to yourself." He said, I knew he was genuinely concerned. I swallowed hard forcing the hard lump in my throat down.

"Thanks Doc, I'll think about it." I told him before leaving the doctors surgery and breaking out into the rain.

---

I leant my head against my apartment door, taking a deep breath before putting the key in and turning it. I needed time to absorb this, to figure out what I was going to do, say, feel even.

Stepping into the apartment I found the lights off, and Flack sitting in the dark, flicking through the channels on the T.V with the remote, his face blank. My eyes strayed to the breakfast table, dinner laying their cold and untouched.

"Have nice time with O'Brian?" Flack asked switching the T.V off. There was silence between us, he didn't even look up. I closed the door softly behind me, and flicked the lights on. He turned his head towards me and in this vivid blue eye I saw pain and anger, emotions I couldn't even bring myself to feel right now.

"You think I was out with O'Brian?" I asked quietly, arms crossed tightly over my chest, my mind screaming for him not to do this, not now. He was on his feet now, standing in front of me.

"What am I supposed to think? We had plans."

"I'm sorry…I…" The words just wouldn't come out; I couldn't force them into the air. The silence loomed between us. I closed my eyes again fighting tears. Taking a deep breath, I tried to force all the tension out of my body, but got nowhere.

"You just what? You went out for a drink with O'Brian, maybe even two or three. I saw you outside the interrogation room, I saw him with his arms around you. For Christ's Sake Carmen I saw you." He was shouting now, and I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but those Goddamned words choked in my throat and wouldn't leave my mouth. I felt the energy drain out of me and a weariness take over.

"I can't do this right now Don." I said softly. Don's eyes stared at me now, frustration etching his face.

"You can't do this? I've been like this all day Carmen, Henderson had to practically restrain me in an interrogation room, because I saw the two of you together." He was raging; I could see the hurt in his eyes as well as the fury burning in him. I couldn't bring myself to speak, I just wanted it all to be over, I wanted to climb into bed and hide away from it all.

"I have one question for you Carmen. Why him? Why the hell did you have to chose him?" he asked resigned, his jaw clenching. He thought there was something wrong with him, that he chased people away.

"I didn't Don, I chose you." The word slipped out surprising me. They were quiet but the impact still hit him.

"If you weren't with O'Brian then where were you? You sure as hell haven't been near the labs this afternoon." He wasn't shouting anymore, but his gaze was fixed on me intent, a cop's gaze, the one he reserved for a suspect. Something inside me snapped, it just let go, bent under the pressure of everything that happened today. I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Don, this can't work anymore, we can't work anymore." Now he was speechless, I continued before he had a chance to speak.

"I can't do it anymore, I can't give you what you want. We're through." I yanked open the door and slammed it shut behind me, leaving him stunned. I raced down the stairs, tears blurring my eyes. I pushed everything away, begging not to feel anything, as I broke out onto the street into the refreshing pour of the rain. Hailing a cab I uttered the name of the only place I felt I could go to now.

"NYPD Crime Lab."


	38. Chapter 38: Telling All

**AN: **** I didn't even realize you'd been reading this Axellia, I just routed through my mail box and found your review, I'm glad you like! The next chapter is the one I'm looking forward to.**

Chapter Thirty Eight

I can remember the very first time I cried  
How I wiped my eyes

And buried the pain inside.  
All of my memories

Good and bad that's past  
Didn't even take the time to realize

Staring at the cracks in the walls  
Because I'm waiting for it all

To come to an end  
Still I curl up right under the bed  
Because its taking over my head

All over again.

Pink – Lonely Girl

I stood over the microscope, starring at the fibre underneath it. I slipped in the next comparison next to it. Finding no match, I moved onto the next sample. The door to the Trace Lab opened, I ignored it keeping my eyes focused on the fibre and altering the lens in the microscope.

"What are you doing here so late? I heard you got that case all wrapped up." I raised my eyes to Mac who was leaning on the table palms down, his eyes on me.

"I could ask you the same question but I already know the answer to that one." I replied sombre, preparing the next sample. Mac gave me a small smile folding his arms over his chest.

"Shouldn't you be at home or with Don?" he asked. I grimaced, I looking away keeping focused on the evidence envelope.

"I went the doctor today just like you said." I said with my back to him.

"I can't have children."

There was silence, I let out the deep breath I'd been holding in, and turned around to face Mac, whose eyes were on me, analysing every aspect of my behaviour.

"It's not the end, there are treatments. Support groups, surrogate parents…even adoption. Who knows their might even be a way to fix things in the next few years the way technologies advancing. The point is I know it feels like the end, but it's not." Mac spoke carefully, leaning back. I knew he was saddened, yet he gave me no pity and I appreciated that. I slipped down onto the stool across from him, leaning on my elbows.

"It's the end for me and Flack, he wants a big family and I…I can't give it to him, I don't even have the option to…" I replied bitterly, my eyes on Mac, who was still studying me.

"Is that what the fight was about?" he asked pointedly.

"O'Brian." I told him shaking my head. Mac nodded in understanding. I tore myself away from Mac's gaze, and looked into the distance, running through the fight in my head.

"I didn't tell him I had a doctor's appointment, I couldn't…He thought I was with O'Brian, and I broke it off with him Mac…I can't face it anymore. I had to tell Millie her mother died. I nearly decked the bastard who killed her. O'Brian had to drag me out of the interrogation room. I have this numbness just resting inside me, I feel like I'm about to snap, but I just can't." I put my head in my hands.

"Today…it's been the ultimate nightmare." I told him raking my hands through my hair. Mac leaned back his eyes on me understanding, I could see the cogs whirring to life in his head.

"Carmen. I'm going to give you sometime off. Take a few days and get out of this city, go anywhere; you've got friends in Miami, and family in Portland. Just take sometime off and give yourself time to sort yourself out, and when your ready to come back, comeback." I stared at Mac, taking in his advice. He was right I needed to get away, to think. Here I felt backed into to corner, I hadn't even had time to absorb anything. I needed to breath outside of New York.

"Thanks Mac, I'll do that."


	39. Chapter 39: Just Deserts

Chapter Thirty Nine

_I want to take his eyes out  
Just for looking at you  
Yes I do  
I want to take his hands off  
Just for touching you  
Yes I do_

_And I want to rip his heart out  
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do_

_And I want to make him  
Regret life since the day he met you  
Yes I do  
And I want to make him  
Take back all that he took from you  
Yes I do_

_Nickleback – Just For_

The bar was full, bristling with cops. Don Flack sat with Nick Henderson and Danny Messer at the bar, taking another swig of beer, the thoughts floated around his head swimming in a dreamy daze. The words he's said, she'd said, still brimming up inside him. He shoved them all away dousing them with more alcohol. He was still in disbelief over the fact she'd broken it off. They'd had arguments before, worse than this. He chugged on his beer sourly and ordered another.

"That's your fifth one." Danny remarked. "I'm sensing a disturbance in the force."

Flack closed his eyes attempting to block out the overwhelming pain. His eyes snapped open hearing that voice.

"I'm telling you, give it a week and Devine will be decorating my bed." Flack slammed his beer down, feeling rage boil up inside him. He was on his feet and striding with purpose to O'Brian before Danny and Henderson even had a chance to recover.

"Shit." Henderson murmured scrambling into action, Danny two steps behind him. Flack came to a halt in front of O'Brian, towering over the sitting man. O'Brian turned his head and climbed to his feet with a sneer on his face.

"If it ain't the man of the hour, I hear you just closed that triple homicide, you deserve a standing ovation." O'Brian spat. Flack frowned at the other man; they were evenly matched in height yet O'Brian had a few pounds on Flack.

"You think I came here to gloat?" Flack seethed shaking his head in disgust. O'Brian shrugged knocking his whisky back down his throat.

"You get the job, I get the girl, it works out all around." Flack's hands went to O'Brian's collar yanking the other man close to his face, red-hot anger racing through him.

"Listen you slimy son of a bitch, stay the hell away from Carmen. I know what your doing. I know you muscled in on her case today when she specifically asked for Cartwright. I know how you took advantage of the situation with those kids. Do not think for a moment…" Flack shoved O'Brian away from him. He stumbled backward clutching the bar stool for support.

"That you're fooling anyone, because they all see through it and so do I." Don snapped turning on his heel and taking a few steps from O'Brian.

"You think you're so hot because you got into homicide detective? Where were you when your girlfriend came running to me to satisfy the need that you couldn't, why should Devine be any different?" O'Brian scorned. Flack glanced over his shoulder at O'Brian, fury rushing through him.

"Is this what it's about?" he questioned. O'Brian said nothing.

"Your pathetic." Don said shaking his head.

"I'm sure Devine will tell you otherwise." Fuming Flack turned slowly towards O'Brian, a dangerous glint in his eye. O'Brian smirked.

"I think she likes a bit of the Irish."

The punch was hard and lighting fast. Flack didn't even realize he'd done it, O'Brian was suddenly on the floor, and his fist was stinging like a bitch. Henderson was by his side pusting him back as he swung for O'Brian again, as he rose.

"I'm warning you stay the fuck away from her." Don roared fighting against both Danny and Henderson. O'Brian threw himself at Flack only to be diverted by several members of the Vice Squad.

"What is going on here?" The words were almost a command, stopping everyone in their tracks as Mac Taylor pushed forward toward the two men. Mac's eyes rested on Don, scrutinizing him, and the state he was in. Don looked away, jaw clenched, defiant. Mac's gaze rested on O'Brian, giving him a full out glare.

"Danny, Henderson, get him out of here, I'll deal with him in a minute." Mac, said Danny nodded, helping Henderson urge Flack towards the door. Mac's eyes fixed on O'Brian again.

"You know I deal with the evidence O'Brian and all day I've been seeing and hearing evidence of you, all the time only you, purposely trying to bring an already brewing situation to a climax. I've been watching you deliberately play people off against each other. I'm issuing you a warning O'Brian, stay away from CSI's and from Don Flack before you find your head on your chief's desk." The threat hung in the air over O'Brian's head.

"You've got nothing on me Taylor." O'Brian sneered looking Mac up and down.

"I bet if I dig deep enough I'll find something." Mac told him, before turning away and stepping outside.

Flack was leaning against the wall, head hung low, breathing heavily. Mac focused on him, shaking his head at Don's state. He could see the strain of the situation weighing heavily on him.

"I messed up Mac." Flack murmured through a tight jaw.

"Don. Talk to me." Mac asked firmly as if with a child. Flack closed his eyes tightly shut shaking his head.

"I can't help you if you won't talk."

"Her and O'Brian," he seethed through the images in his head. Them together, his hands all over her.

"You really believe that? There is no her and O'Brian." Mac told him frowning.

"I can't talk about this right now." At that moment he chose to look up, meeting Mac's eyes with his vibrant blues. The pain, the desperation, was nestled deep in there as Mac recognized that Flack couldn't bring himself to talk about it. Flack put his head in his hands and let out a deep breath.

"I just can't." he breathed. Mac leant forward to Don, patting his back.

"Don when your ready come and see me ok? We need to talk." Flack gave no sign of hearing Mac. Mac backed away and indicated for Danny to come over, he's been standing arms folded tightly his eyes intent on his friend.

"Danny get him home." Mac ordered withdrawing from the emotions he felt caught up in. Danny nodded helping Flack towards a cab he's managed to hail, leaving Henderson and Mac to talk.

"O'Brian gloated him you know." Henderson said nodding in Don's direction. Mac stared after Dannyand Flack.

"I know. Look Nick I need a favour."

"Anything." Nick said deadpan. Mac knew he could trust Henderson.

"Keep an eye on Flack, make sure no run ins with O'Brian. We both know he's gunning for him and Flack doesn't need a mess right now."

"She finished it, you know." Henderson said suddenly. "I've never seen him this bad."

Mac stood contemplative for a second.

"She had her reasons." He said finally. Henderson bowed his head, and then patted Mac on the back.

"Take care of her Mac, she's gonna need someone to watch her back." He said in reference to O'Brian. Nick wrapped his coat tighter around himself and began to walk away.

"It's already taken care of. Nick."


	40. Chapter 40: Visiting Old Friends

Chapter Forty

_I have seen fear. I have seen faith._

_Seen the look of anger on your face._

_And if you want to talk about what will be,_

_Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,  
I'm a friend.  
_

_James Blunt – Cry_

The plane journey over to Mimi was comfortable, yet continuously I found myself restless and pacing the aisle, and unpacking my carry on for something to do. I rapped my fingers on the armrest irate and complacent. I didn't want to think about it anymore, but it kept whirring around my head, the fight, his words, the doctor, O'Brian. I wrapped my arms around myself. Mac had waited there at the airport with me. I thought about ringing Don, but those words, the explanation choked in my throat before I even managed to get my hands to dial the number. I knew this was for the best. Mac had taken me back to my empty apartment and waited while I packed some clothes and then driven me to the air port. He'd waved me off as I went through the gate. I'd made him promise to keep an eye on Don. He didn't tell me what he thought of my decision, he just sat their and listened not judging as I talked for what seemed like hours. Now I had nothing to do but st here and think. Eva knew I was turning up at her house. She knew something had happened but she didn't know what. It felt strange to think that three hours ago I'd been sitting in social services telling Millie that her mother had died; the memory of those moments chilled me.

The whole day had been so stressful and so damned hard, I wanted nothing more to climb into a hole and never come out. Mac was right a few days in Miami would do me good, let me get my head back together. I stared down at the book I'd bought at the air port for the millionth time; there was no way I'd been reading this anytime soon.

By the time I got to Miami it was 2am. I knocked on Eva's door quietly. The door opened slowly, a tiny gurgle erupted from baby Lily in Eva's arms as she reached out for me. That was it I burst in to tears. Eva guided me in quickly, and settled the baby in bed, and returned to me on the couch as I covered my face with my hands. I felt her arm go around me as I sobbed.

"Hey come on what happened?" Eva asked leaning into me. Tears still flowing I told her the whole damned story, everything from O'Brian to the fight with Don. Eva listened quietly occasionally smoothing back my hair. At the end of it all, Eva clutched me tightly as I cried some more. Pulling away she opened her mouth to speak.

"Stay here as long as you want, I think it might be best for you to get a hot shower and get some sleep. Trust me you'll feel better in the morning. I'll set up the sofa bed while you shower." Eva said ushering me off the couch and towards the hallway. Feeling emotional drained, but a tad more cheerful, I gave her a grateful hug. Treading lightly as not to wake the girls I moved towards the bathroom door armed with my pajamas. It swung open suddenly; I froze as a half naked Tim Speedle clad only in a white fluffy towel stepped out, eyes wide with the surprise I knew I was showing very clearly.

"I thought she meant you were coming at 2 pm." He said flustered I covered my eyes with my hand and wrinkled my nose at the stench coming from the bathroom.

"Decomp?"

"Yea sorry about that, look I'll go throw some clothes on and then you can fill me in on your exploits." I heard him hurry past me. I took my hand away form my eyes hearing the bedroom door close. I locked the bathroom door behind me and turned the shower on full heat and pressure. Stripping my clothes off I stepped into the raging hot water trying to scrub all my troubles away.


	41. Chapter 41: Losing Sleep

Chapter Forty One

_I thought I was the a hero_

_I played him well_

_He saves the day but not himself_

_I acted out the lover my finest part_

_Had all the lines but not the heart_

_Now look where we are_

_Keith Urban- Be The Man_

The labs were deadly quiet. He felt the chill every time he stepped inside. The atmosphere was more serious now, laughter didn't penetrate these walls. He knew the rumours were flying.

The sound of his footsteps resounded around the room forcing Stella to look up and meet his gaze; he could see the sympathy in her eyes. She gave a small wave and he returned it.

Nobody knew where she had gone, yet he knew she'd cleared time off. Sometimes it felt like she'd disappeared off the face of the earth. Yet her apartment still stood, her clothes, her books, her life still thrived in there.

The lab tech's eyes darted away, as he said the rumours were flying. They knew about the fight in the bar, who didn't?

O'Brian still lurked at the back of his mind. Part of him wanted to believe it, wanted to believe that she'd left him for another man. Yet O'Brian hadn't seen her lately, no one had for days. He knew they were restless, worried, he even knew they blamed him, he blamed himself. He didn't know what the hell he'd done. It was tearing him apart inside. Everything he knew, felt, and even thought was tainted with the memory of her. He glanced in the labs as he walked past, Lindsey sat subdued, her gaze on Carmen's work space, for a second, one tiny instant, he thought he saw her. Then there was nothing but an empty, tidy desk.

Sometimes when he woke up in the night, he'd roll over expecting her war body to be lying pressed up against him. He found nothing. Closing his eyes briefly he realised the real reason he was here. He was sick of not knowing, he was a cop, goddamn it, he needed answers.

All the pain was pent up lingering inside him, and he hated it. He hated the feel of it just sitting there inside him, conquering his thoughts.

His hand outstretched he knocked on Mac's door. The former marine looked up surprised as it opened to reveal don flack in the doorway. He looked edgy, his blue eyes directly on Mac's face.

"Can we talk?" he said gruffly.

"Don…I wasn't expecting you for another few days." Mac smiled grimly gesturing for Don to step in. Flack did and then settled awkward in the char across from him. Elbows lent on the arm rests he fixed Mac with an unsure expression, his hands clasped in font of him.

Mac listened carefully as Don began to speak, he spoke about the pain with a dignity and strength Mac never knew he possessed. He admitted to almost filing a missing person's report, when he returned to her apartment the next day and finding no signs of her coming home. With a tormented look on his face, he asked Mac if he knew where she was.

"I gave her some time off, to pull herself together. She was a mess." Mac told him, his focus on Don.

"Because of the fight?" Don replied sullen. Mac shook his head.

"It goes lot deeper than that Don." Flack raised an eyebrow. Mac let out a deep sigh.

"It's personal Flack she'll tell you in her own time." Don shook his head.

"I said some pretty horrible things Mac; I don't think she's coming back. I just…I just want to know where she is, that she's safe I need to know something!" he was on his feet now pacing. Mac rose slowly to his feet, feeling pained.

"Wait until she gets back, Don, right now she doesn't want to be found. Trust me Flack, she needs this." Mac leant over his desk, eyes meeting Flack's head on.

"Go home, spend sometime with the guys, they don't blame you for this. No one does." Mac told him. Resigned Don Flack sighed before leaving the office and taking mac's advice.


	42. Chapter 42: Seperate Lives

Chapter Forty Two

_If you really want it_

_Then hold on tight_

_You've got everything to loose_

_Don't ever let go_

_You need to keep that dream alive_

_Reamonn – Wish_

I sat on the sofa, hands clasped in front of my face, starring at the phone. Fingers trembling I picked it up and then put it back down again. Squeezing my eyes shut, I saw his smile in my mind. I pressed my hands to my face cursing Mathew the deepest, fieriest recess of hell.

"That's the ninth time you've done that in the past hour." I glanced up seeing Eva in the door way and turned my head away.

"I thought you were bathing the kids." I told her settling back onto the sofa. Eva shook her head.

"I'm long finished." My gaze went down to her attire, she looked stunning.

"Where's he taking you tonight?" I asked with a wry grin on my face. Eva returned my smile.

"I don't know, it's a surprise apparently." She said taking a step towards me. She leaned over the coffee table and handed me the phone.

"Why don't you call him?" she asked more serious.

"I can't…" I replied starring at the phone before pushing it away. She pushed it back towards me.

"Yes you can."

"No I can't explain."

"Try." I caved in under Eva's persuasion. We'd been at it for days, like this, I couldn't decide whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. Picking up the phone I dialled the number wearily. It rang and rang; I hung up not leaving a message.

"He's out." I muttered, sliding the phone down on the table. Eva's eyes analysed me carefully.

"Do you need me to call Eric? Or Calleigh? Even Ryan? If you don't want to be left alone tonight I can get one of them to stay over it might help." She said sympathetic. I shook my head.

"I'll be fine." I told her with a false smile.

"I'll just watch T.V or read; I still haven't finished this novel." I told her holding the book up. She snorted.

"You haven't even started it." I laughed there was no way I could hide that from her. She saw too much constantly.

"Hey you ready to go?" Tim popped his head out of the kitchen with a pointed look on his face. Eva nodded, picking up the keys off the table.

"You know the rules with bedtimes and stuff. If anything happens, or you need something just call, call me, them or him. Just don't deal with this yourself." She said, Tim watched from the doorway. Promising to that, I walked them to the door and waved them off.

---

_Kinda lose your sense of time_

_Cause the days don't matter no more_

_All the feelings that your hide_

_Gonna tear you up inside_

_You hope she knows you tried_

_Lene Marlin –Unforgivable Sinner _

He sat on floor, back against the couch, in Danny's apartment, swigging the beer from the brown bottle in his hand. His eyes were intent on the screen in front of him, seeing but not watching. A game was on. He didn't know who the hell was playing.

Danny had come around tonight, physically forced him out of his apartment and over to his. A half empty pizza box lay desolate on the floor, next to him. He sighed, his mind going back over the last few days. This was his first outing in a while. He had to get on with it. He had to live outside this, push it all away. Yet the cop in him was niggling, knowing there was some final detail he missed. It was that that kept him awake at night, thinking about that day.

"_I chose you!"_ Those words, her last ones, they haunted him. He closed his eyes, and then attempted to drive out the pain with more beer. Danny bumped down net to him, own beer in hand. He gave him a sidelong look before opening his mouth to speak.

"You've got it bad." It was a statement, like he'd just realized for the first time.

"I thought it was just a casual thing. You know a little bit of fun." Flack didn't speak, he just drank and then he shook his head.

"I'd give you that loved and lost line, but hell Messer, it stings like a bitch." Flack replied, startled to find himself able to talk about it, even more to find himself wanting to.

"I said some pretty bad things to her. I don't think she's coming back." Don admitted glancing at Danny who shook his head.

"The whole thing runs a lot further down, Don I've known her for eight years, even after Mathew battered her the first time, she stayed and she fought. She'll be back." There was silence between them, and the unspoken part of the sentence hung in the air.

"It doesn't feel like it." Don remarked bitter.

The bathroom door opened behind them.

"A lot happened that day Flack; she had to tell the kids their mom had died, dealing with that guy who did it, O'Brian and then you. It was bad day syndrome to a huge extent, she probably went off to recharge." Lindsey said closing Danny's bathroom door behind her, and moving around the sofa.

"Mac's sure as hell not talking." Flack said taking a swig of his beer, eyes on Lindsey, who pursed her lips together. He stopped mid drink and stared at her, realizing that she knew.

"She called you?" he said suddenly, his voice rational, and calm. Lindsey folded her arms over her chest feeling the weight of both Danny and Flack's gaze on her.

"Montana?" Danny said rising to his feet. Flack stood up, a frown knotting his features.

"She said it was so I didn't worry." Lindsey said quietly Flack's eyes went wide, he was livid.

"SO you didn't worry?" he repeated. "What about me doesn't she think I'm sitting her worrying about her, about where she disappeared to?"

Lindsey's eye's narrowed.

"I called missing person's Don; they opened a case on her until Mac was informed." Lindsey admitted blushing furiously. Don closed his eyes for a brief second taking this in. He swallowed hard, before opening them again.

"She's safe?" he asked. Lindsey gave a curt nod. Don smiled grimly before reaching for his jacket off the back of the chair and slipping it on. He fixed Lindsey with a cold stare.

"That's all I wanted to know." He spoke quietly before leaving the apartment and striding out onto the street the cold breeze sobering him up, as his coat swayed behind him.

_Struggling with the fight inside_

_Sorrow you'll defeat_

_The picture you see it won't disappear_

_Not the unpleasant dreams or her voice you hear_

---

Eva and Tim stood in the doorway, their eyes fixed on the two tiny bundles curled up on the sofa bed on either sides of Carmen. The book in Carmen's hand slipped and fell to the floor, not waking neither Carmen or the two sleeping kids. Lily murmured briefly before nestling closer under Carmen's arm.

"Think we should wake them?" Tim asked with a small smile. Eva shook her head, arms folded.

"It's their last night with her, let's just leave them be." She said stepping into the room she turned on the lamp. Tim pulled out the blanket next to them on the couch and spread it over the group.

"You think she's going to be ok?" Tim asked withdrawing from the room, his chocolate brown eyes studied Eva's face with thought.

"She's had a rough ride but I think she'll do fine. I think the initial shock and then the fight…" she shook her head.

"It just knocked her for six."

"What about Flack?" Tim asked flicking the main light off in the living room. Eva followed him towards the bed room shutting the door quietly behind her.

"It's the real deal." Tim raised an eyebrow sceptical.

"You have not seen the amount of times she picked up that phone. She's leaving tomorrow, so I guess we'll just have to see what happens." Eva shrugged as Tim stepped towards her. She opened her mouth to say something more, but Tim's lips stifled hers gently, making her decide she really didn't want to talk anymore.


	43. Chapter 43: Coming Clean

Chapter Forty Three

_I'm not a perfect person_

_There's many things I wish I didn't do_

_But I continue learning_

_I never meant to do those things to you_

_Hobbastank-Reason_

"Hey Devine, where's all that pale skin gone?" Danny called as I took my first few steps through the lab.

"Hey." I gave him a friendly wave and tried to move past him. Danny stepped in front of me, blocking my way past.

"Nice try Devine, but where have you been all this time? You had a few of us worried back here." He crossed his arms over his chest, as I bowed my head.

"I went to Miami for a few days, clear my head a little." I looked away around the lab. The lab tech's eyes averted away from me. Apparently my going away had caused a bit of a stir here. Well Lindsey did call missing persons…

"We that bad?" Danny asked half serious. Our gazes met, I could see the hurt in there.

"I had some bad news; I just had to get away." I admitted, with a small sigh. Danny's eyes were on me searching.

"Is everything ok now?" he asked. I gave him an honest shrug.

"I think it's gonna be." Danny glanced behind me. His face deadly serious. He leant forward looking at me.

"He hit O'Brian you know, he was saying some stuff about you and Flack just lost it." Danny told me. I closed my eyes for a brief second; unable to decide whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. I opened them again.

"If O'Brian tries anything with you, go talk to Mac, he's got your back with this one." I nodded. Danny opened his mouth to say something more, but started to walk in the opposite direction instead. I grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out. Danny stared at me unblinking for a second.

"It's not me you have to apologize to." He told me pointedly. I smiled grimly, before replying.

"Are we cool?" Danny nodded giving me a small smile.

"We're cool, but I've got work to do. I'll catch up with you later." He said drifting off into the recesses of the labs. I watched him, deep in thought. He was pissed because I hadn't told him I was leaving but he understood.

I noticed that everything had gone quiet. I turned looking in the direction of the doors. He was standing there, piercing blue eyes on me. The look on his face...

He spun on his heel and walked straight back out, glass door slamming behind him.

_And so I have to say before I go_

_That I just want you to know_

_I found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_And the reason is you_

The crime scene was a warm one, one of the last warm days before winter. I slipped off my jacket and left it in the car before grabbing my kit and moving towards the body. Slipping the camera out of its case I began to take a few pictures. Feeling a familiar presence behind me, I glanced over my shoulder and let out a disappointed breath.

"Nice to see you back Devine."

"You too Nick." I said to Henderson straightening up, and moving to stand next to him. This was supposed to be Flack's case.

"He's avoiding me isn't he?" I said eyes on the scene in front of me. Out the corner of my eyes I saw Nick look at his hands.

"He's licking his wounds." Nick confirmed. I pursed my lips, and clenched my jaw. Nick's eyes were on me now.

"He didn't think you were coming back, and then suddenly there you are, standing in the lab. That's gonna hurt Carmen." Henderson told me.

"Why'd you leave?" I swallowed hard as he spoke. That was Nick always straight to the point.

"You hoping I have a good reason for hurting your buddy?" I asked. Henderson's gaze never shifted. I raised the camera up to my face and moved position a little.

"I'm not the girl he wants, I can't…" I trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. Instead I took another picture and then another. Nick shifted slightly behind me. I knew he was frowning.

"I don't understand." Nick said calmly. I shrugged.

"Neither do I Nick." I told him, leaving it at that.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you_

_Its something I must live with everyday_

_And all the pain I put you through _

_I wish that I could take it all away_

_And be the one who catches all your tears_

_That's why I need you to hear._

I knocked at the door again, practically hurling myself against it. I knew he was in there.

"For Christ's sake Danny, why don't you just kick down the door already?" Flack roared yanking it open. He froze for a second as our gazes met. His beautiful blue eyes full of a mixture of things.

"Can I come in?" I said quietly, leaning in the doorway. I glanced at his attire and his tousled hair and knew he'd been sleeping.

"You were asleep." I started to back pedal. "I'll leave."

His hand went to my arm holding onto it firmly.

"Oh no you don't." he said guiding me into the apartment firmly. I studied his face for a second before relenting.

"I'll put on the coffee." He said softly as I closed the door behind me. I looked around the apartment, eyeing the pile of beer bottles in the corner, before following him to the kitchen, where he stood hunched over staring at the kettle. I leaned on the counter across from him.

_I found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_And the reason is you_

"You're avoiding me." I accused. The words just slipped out.

"You left." He returned calmly not even turning around. His knuckles were white as he gripped the counter.

"You thought I was with O'Brian…" I began. Don spun around to face me, he pointed at me.

"Don't give me that Carmen, that's not the reason you left." He was shouting now, I could see everything. Every single thing they'd said was true. He hadn't just taken it sitting down, he'd tried to figure things out, he'd tried bitterly, but no one knew, there was no information he could have gotten, from anywhere and Mac wouldn't tell.

"I can't give you what I want." I told him firmly. Don's temper flared up behind his eyes. I wanted to take a step back, but there was no space in the tiny kitchen.

"How the hell would you know what I want?" he yelled, voice getting louder.

"The woman I wanted ended it with me. You walked out without any explanation; you disappeared for days without telling anyone. I was wrong Carmen I know that. I was selfish and paranoid and I know I'm not perfect but I didn't deserve that." I tried to steel myself against his words as they hit my like blows to the heart one by one.

"I've been going out of my mind with worry until Lindsey let slip that you were safe. You called Lindsey, and before you say it, I almost called missing persons until I realized that some of your stuff was missing. I don't even know where you went. You could have asked. I would have given you space, to see what you wanted. It hurts too damn much to see you here right now, back in my life…"

_I'm not a perfect person_

_I never meant to do those things to you_

_And so I have to say before I go_

_That I just want you to know_

"I can't have kids." I erupted. He stopped mid rant and simply blinked. My eyes were stinging with the tears I was holding back. He closed his eyes for a second to ground himself.

"What?" he said quietly. His eyes on me concerned. The tears were trickling down my cheeks now. I wrapped my arms around myself.

"That day where I was late and you thought I'd been with O'Brian. I'd been the doctors. I'd been avoiding it for so long. But Mac made me go and I did…" I met Don's gaze full on now. I owed this to him, but the pain was there, it was always there, breaking my heart into tiny pieces.

"I can't have children Don…I can't give you that family. The one you want." I choked as a sob came out of my throat. I put my hand over my mouth in attempt to stifle it. The tears just kept coming. All that pain was still there, hurting me over and over again. I could see it all crashing down behind his eyes. I took a step back, tears blurring my vision.

_I found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know_

_A reason for all that I do_

_And the reason is you._

"Oh Carmen." I found myself wrapped in his arms, clutching his t-shirt and sobbing my heart out into it. He held me tightly, burying his face in my hair.

"I'm so sorry…God Carmen I'm sorry." He murmured into my ear, I clung to him unable to do anything except cry. I felt a deep breath escape him, and it all came back to me…I wasn't even sure what was right or wrong anymore. I just needed him, his comfort, his love. Pulling myself together I took a step back, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand.

"It's not your fault." I said quietly. "Mathew wanted to fuck me over good and proper and he did, when he kicked me he ruptured something, my womb I think and well you know the rest."

Bitterness crept inside me as I imagined Mathew's grinning face. I lost the man I loved because of you, I thought angrily. He'd managed to break me, he wasn't even alive anymore, that was the worst part, like he was somehow reaching beyond the grave to fuck me over.

"Look I'm going to go. I just…" I looked down at my hands. "I wanted to let you know it wasn't you Don, it's me." I took a step towards the door, turning my back to him and reaching for the handle.

"I wanted to tell you, you didn't have to avoid me in work anymore, I won't cause any trouble." As my hand enclosed around the handle I heard him call my name quietly.

"Carmen." He touched my hand gently and removed it from the door. I looked up captured by that deep blue.

"I don't want that family, or all those kids. Seriously, I just want you." The honesty was there. I could see it in him. Everything Lindsey, Stella and the others said was there. He was desperate. He had fought for me.

"Kids are overrated anyway." He told me with a small smile, despite myself I felt a grin play over my features. I'd missed this, his humour, his laugh. He made it easy.

Suddenly his lips were inches from mine. I was falling into that kiss, and I couldn't stop. All that pain, all that fear washed away as I felt his desperation in him, the need. I returned it with my own flurry of emotions. I needed him, I wanted him, I was sick of trying to do this on my own. Briefly we both pulled away, his hand caressing my cheek tenderly.

_We have got today_

_We have got tonight_

_There's no need for us to say goodbye_

_As crazy as it feels_

_It feels right_

_Reamonn –L.A Skies_

"I went back to your apartment few times." He admitted, smoothing my hair away from my face.

"I called…I wanted to tell you…I really did… I just." I looked away and then decided to face him.

"I didn't know how."

His eyes roamed over my face, memorising everything.

"I'm glad you did in the end. I've been awake every night thinking, trying to figure out what it was. I'm sorry I said those things, and what I did…" he laughed.

"You won't believe what I did…"

I grinned with a chuckle.

"Danny told me you hit O'Brian because he was saying things about me?" I replied with a raised eyebrow. Flack stuck his hands up in surrender.

"I am not telling you what he said. Let's just say he got what he deserved; besides Mac had my back. If he bothers you at all, let me know, I'll even let you hide the body." He said with a wink. I poked him in the ribs, he giggled.

"Was it that bad?" I asked curiously. He shrugged before warding me off.

"It was bad enough."

"How nice of him." I remarked dryly, poking Don again. Maybe I could get it out him yet.

"Hey… Quit that." I ignored him. He laughed out loud, grabbing hold of my wrists and pulling me to him. I found my face close to his. I looked into his eyes.

"You're staying?" he asked quietly, nudging my nose with his.

"I'm staying." I confirmed wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him. He responded, hands running through my hair. He pulled away, for a split second I felt rejected.

"Good…I think now might be a good time to tell you I love you." He murmured. I knew I couldn't keep the smile off my face, as I tilted my head up to kiss him I whispered my own little secret.

"I love you too."


	44. Chapter 44: The Joys of Xmas Shopping

**Part Four**

Chapter Forty Four

_Sleigh bells ring_

_Are you listening?_

_In the lane _

_Snow is glistening_

_A beautiful sight_

_We're happy tonight_

_Walking in a winter wonderland_

_Walking in a Winter Wonderland._

"So why do they have to congregate right there? In the aisle I just happen to need. Look their just talking." I pointed out to Flack, glaring at the other customers in front of me. Don laughed out loud, before kissing the top of my head.

"I really don't think the sole reason their doing that is to piss you off princess, besides didn't I warn you about late shopping in New York." I turned my head, shooting him a dirty look. His gaze darted to the shelves on either side of us looking for something to amuse himself with.

Don Flack was like a little kid at Christmas.

"Hey maybe you can buy me this?" I glanced up, mortified to see him holding up a peach coloured set of women's lingerie against himself.

"You think it will fit?" he asked batting his eyelashes and talking in a girlish tone. I tried to keep a straight face but the laughter escaped my lips loudly causing several people to turn to us.

"See that's better, you're a lot more fun when you loosen up." Don grinned holding the peach thing up.

"We could get it for Danny…" he said thoughtfully. I rolled my eyes with a snigger.

"Put it back…"

"Don!" I turned to the slim dark haired woman who was calling Flack's name. Don froze for a second and threw the underwear at the shelf rack, before rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Hey Maria, how you doing?" I hid a grin, wondering why he was so nervous. Maria gave me a warm smile before reaching out a hand to introduce herself. I shook it warmly, eyes on her face. She had more of the Italian side of Don's family. Her skin was a shade darker than Don's, her long back hair pulled back in a tight bun. Her dark pants suit was stylish elegant.

"Hey, just ignore him. I'm Don's sister Maria." She told me with Flack's smile.

"Hi, I'm Carmen, Don's…" I trailed off. Don slipped the word in casually.

"She's my girlfriend." Don said pointing at me.

"Ahh Carmen Devine, it's nice to finally meet you. Mom and Dad have said a lot of great things about you." I saw Don roll his eyes behind Maria.

"It's nice to meet you too." I replied, pulling my hand away.

"So has he invited you over for Christmas day?" Maria asked conspiringly, giving Flack a sidelong look.

"Actually I have Maria, she's spending Christmas Day with her family in Portland, she's over for Boxing Day." Flack stuck his tongue out. Maria shook her at him and returned to me.

"Boxing Day's a bit easier, it's more immediate family, but it's still a little overwhelming." Maria explained to me with genuine friendliness.

"It could out you off him for life." She said jerking her thumb at Don who was eyeing up the candy canes next to us with great suspicion and distaste. I frowned.

"I haven't been yet; I think I can take it." I told her with an open smile. Maria turned her head to Don, a wide grin breaking across her face.

"What is your problem with these?" I asked picking up the box of candy canes and putting them in my basket. Flack looked at them uneasy.

"I ate about thirteen one year and threw up candy cane coloured vomit." He admitted, looking embarrassed. I wrinkled my nose.

"That childhood experience still sits with you I take it." I said eyes on him. Maria touched my arm for a second drawing my attention to her.

"Actually that was last year…He confiscated the candy canes off the kids using his police badge, because he was taking them in as evidence." I found myself staring at Flack in hysterics as he sulked.

"Hey one of them ate my candy." He protested. "I just couldn't figure out which one."

"So you confiscated their candy canes and ate them?" he shuddered at the memory.

"Never again." He told me. I shook my head, and turned to Maria.

"He used to hide candy bars in the pillow cases." Maria chuckled, putting her hand over her face to stifle it. Don shrugged.

"I get hungry." Maria looked at her watch cringing. I caught sight of a bruise just under the cuff of her suit jacket.

"That looks nasty." I remarked pointing it out. Maria's eyes strayed to it.

"A patient turned nasty." She told me. I remember Don telling me that Maria was a psychiatrist. I nodded.

"Don't you hate it when that happens?" I smiled. Maria's worried expression faded from her face as she nodded.

"Look I've gotta go, but it was nice meeting you and I'll be seeing you on boxing day." Maria pulled me into an affectionate hug, and then did the same with Don who responded with the words.

"Take care of yourself."

"Nice lady." I said after Maria had left.

"Wait until you meet the rest of the family." He warned. I shrugged.

"I can handle it. So let's go through the presents. I got Lindsey some silk pyjamas, Stella some special coco butter body scrub, that signed baseball for Danny, Operation for Hawkes, Smiley gingerbread men for Mac."

"Smiley ginger bread men?"

"He let slip once or twice that he had a fetish for gingerbread."

"Fetish?" he said raising an eyebrow. I smirked at him.

"Do not want to know." He said shaking his head laughing.

"I think I'm done here." I told Flack.

"So no more Christmas shopping rage?" he asked pointedly, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"No more Christmas shopping rage." I promised.

We were walking on the sidewalk. Don's arm wrapped around my shoulders, in the other hand he swung my shopping bags, humming Christmas tunes. He stopped dead as we walked under an awning and tilted his head upwards. I followed his gaze spotting the mistletoe hanging above us. I tilted my head towards him, capturing his lips with mine. I felt the passion rise within me as I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer. Flack pulled away, a lopsided smile on his face.

"Forget we were in public princess?" I blushed bright red. Flack let out a snigger.

"Well, well, if it isn't little boy blue." My gaze strayed to the voice behind Flack as he turned at the same time. I felt the annoyance in me rise. O'Brian gave me a wolfish grin. I frowned at him, hands on my hips. A brown haired woman hung on his arm, an amused expression her face. Don fixed O'Brian with a look that was a mixture between disgust and irritation.

"You remember Carla don't you Don?" O'Brian said as the woman stepped forward. I folded my arms over my chest. Low blow O'Brian. Don's smile played on his lips as he took a step forward, shaking Carla's hand.

"Hey Carla your looking well." Don said enthusiastically. I shook my head and smiled at his display.

"This is my girlfriend Carmen." Flack said introducing us. I took a step forward and squeezed her hand a little harder than I should of. My gaze went to O'Brian.

"That black eye has gone down nicely O'Brian." I remarked dryly with the falsest smile I could muster on my face.

"Well we'll be seeing you guys." Don wrapped his arm around my face and practically forced me away from the other two.

"Have a nice Christmas you hear?" I called cheerily over my shoulder.

"I hope he chokes on the turkey." I muttered under my breath. Flack held in a burst of laugher until we were around the corner.


	45. Chapter 45: A Little Bit of Madness

Chapter Forty Five

_The moon is right_

_Your spirits up_

_We're here tonight_

_And that's enough_

_Simply having a wonderful Christmas time_

_Wonderful Christmas Time_

We stood at the black booted feet of the fat man in front of us. Danny shook his head his eyes on the scene before us.

"This is wrong." He said shaking his head, disturbed.

"Who'd wanna kill Santa?" I frowned catching sight of something sticking out of Santa's pocket. I crouched down yanking it out and holding it up for Danny to see. A baggie of coke.

"Maybe Santa's little drug elves?" A loud sneeze echoed throughout the building. Me and Danny glanced at each other.

"You guy's find out who killed the fat guy yet, my allergies are killing me here." I rolled my eyes for Danny at Flack's words, which were followed by a sneeze. Unfortunately for Flack, Santa had a lot of cats, hence him having to stay outside the room for fear of contaminating the crime scene.

"Is it much quieter without Flack here to deliver his witty one liners?" I said loudly to Danny. Danny gave me a playful smile before checking out a stain on the floor.

"I can hear you, Devine." Flack called into the room sounding even stuffier.

"My mistake." I laughed hearing another sneeze.

"You coming to the Christmas party tonight?" Danny asked, swabbing the stain. Several sneezes erupted through the doorway followed by the words.

"Get the hell away from me you damned cat, scram." I tried to giggle discreetly before answering Danny.

"I'm stuck doing some of the overtime, but I'll definitely make it there. Besides whose gonna be there to make sure Lindsey doesn't dunk your head in the punch bowl?" Danny snorted.

"Montana, couldn't dunk a bail of hay in that punch bowl." Danny retorted.

"Can you guys hurry it up a little? I don't like the way this cat's eyeing me up, I think it's gonna jump me." Flack sneezed again.

"Wow, sorry Flack, we've just been standing here talking for the past thirty minutes, we forgot we had a job to do." Danny joked closing his kit as he followed me out of the room. Flack glared at him, before edging away from the cat in the corner that leered at him. He let out a loud shuddering sneeze. I jumped, and then patted his arm sympathetically.

"There, there , let's get you some Christmas cookies." I crooned at him. Flack sniffed.

"I thought I was gonna sneeze myself to death in there." Flack said, eyes streaming as we left the building.

"That'll be a new one for the Doc." Danny grinned opening the back of the car and dumping his kit in it. Don narrowed his eyes at him. I laughed.

"Think you just lost those Christmas cookies Danny."

---

I sat filling in the massive file of reports I had left to the last minute. Rubbing at my tired eyes as decided to rest my head on the desk for a few seconds. A few seconds turned out to be longer and when I woke up there was steaming cup of coffee right in front of my face, a plate of Christmas tree shaped cookies next to it. I glanced wither side of me seeing no one.

"Santa?" I asked feeling alarmed. I heard a tiny laugh behind me; I turned in my chair to see Stella moving towards me.

"That's sweet; your first thought was Santa." She settled into the chair across from me. I picked up the coffee and sipped at it grateful.

"I saw you passed out in your chair and decided you probably needed coffee."

"Thanks." I murmured, waking up a little.

"I saved you some Christmas cookies too before Don and Danny ate them."

"Stella you are a star." I told her picking up a cookie and biting into it. For five seconds I was in a sugar coated paradise.

"Jesus that tastes good." I told her chewing the cookie happily. Stella took one and bit into it.

"They are good." She agreed.

"So what are your plans for Christmas?" I asked curious, swigging my coffee. Stella gave me a dazzling smile.

"Visiting a few friends here and there. I'm spending Christmas day with Mac." I almost dropped my cookie into my coffee. Stella let out a small laugh.

"We do it every year." She told me. I pondered this for a second.

"Anything ever happen there?" I asked mouth full of cookie. Stella shook her head.

"He wasn't over Clare's death for a long time, but he's started to come out of it recently." She told me looking at her coffee with interest.

"I'll rephrase my original question…Is there even a vague possibility that something is going to happen between you and Mac?"

"It's a maybe." Stella told me indecisive. "I'm in no hurry and neither is he."

I picked up another cookie and bit the top off the Christmas tree.

"SO Christmas in Portland?" I tilted my head from side to side.

"A bit of both actually. I fly over for a few days, come back on Boxing Day for Christmas with the Flacks."

"How do you feel about meeting the whole family for the first time?" Stella asked eyes on me.

"Considering we face murderers, junkies and rapists everyday…I'm still a little nervous." I confessed with a humorous grin.

"How are things going with you and Don anyway?" she asked leaning on the table. I bowed my head staring at the coffee in my cup.

"I'm happy. Really happy." I admitted looking up with a wide smile.

"I'm glad to hear it. Hey did you bring the mistletoe?" she asked me conspiringly. I nodded taking it out of my bag and showing it to her.

"They're not going to know what's hit them." I told her. Stella routed in her bag for a few seconds as I returned the mistletoe back to my own bag.

"Here I got you something." She said putting a gift wrapped box on the table. I took my own out and pushed it towards her.

"Me too." We exchanged gifts. I unwrapped mine carefully, lifting out the forest green satin robe.

"Wow." Was all I could utter.

"It's beautiful." I murmured with a beaming grin, I reached over hugging her tightly.

"I thought it was a little sexier than what you have at home." She said a mischievous light in her eyes.

"Your right." I folded it carefully sliding it back into the box as she unwrapped hers.

"Oh My…Carmen you shouldn't have. Where did you get it I thought they'd disappeared off the face of the earth?" I tapped my nose discreetly.

"Thank you so much." She pulled me into a tight hug over the table surface.

"If you two ladies are finished exchanging gifts, you think we can get to the party anytime soon?" Mac said standing in the open doorway, key's dangling from his fingers, an affectionate look on his face.

"Don't worry Mac I didn't forget about you." I told him slipping a gift out from my bag and slipping it onto the table. Mac came over reading the tag, a surprised expression on his face.

"What is it?" he asked curious. Stella shook her head and stood up pulling her winter jacket on.

"That's the purpose of opening gifts Mac." She pointed out. I stood up following suit. Mac pulled off the lid to the box carefully.

Mac smiled at the pile of grinning gingerbread men looking back at him.

"You heard about my thing for gingerbread I take it." He said, he looked happy. Stella leaned over his shoulder and peered at them.

"Did you ice on the faces?" she asked tilting her head at them. I snorted.

"I can barely do my own crime scene sketches let alone icing." Mac leaned over kissing my cheek gently before entrapping me in a bear hug.

"It was very thoughtful, Thank you." He said softly, before pulling away.

"You've been like a father figure to me this past year. I just wanted to show you I appreciated it."


	46. Chapter 46: Mistletoe Mischief

Chapter Forty Six

_Got a lucky one_

_Came in eighteen to one_

_I've got a feeling_

_This years for you and me_

_So happy Christmas_

_I love you baby_

_I can see a better time_

_When all our dreams come true._

_The boys of the NYPD Choir_

_Were singing 'Galway Bay'_

_And the bells were ringing out_

_For Christmas Day_

_Kirsty McCall – Fairytale of New York City_

The party was all ready in full swing by the time we got there. I'd never seen so many people I knew in one place before. Before long I found myself drink in hand talking avidly with Danny, Lindsey and Stella.

"Worst thing Danny's ever done to you?" Stella said to Lindsey, Danny put a hand to his chest and feigned a hurt expression.

"My first day he was pretty harsh." She said shooting Danny a dirty look. Danny crossed his arms over his chest defensive.

"The cornfields remark or maybe it was the fact he calls me Montana all the time…" She trailed off seeing what I was holding above them. Danny followed her gaze.

"What the hell is that?" he asked squinting.

"It's called mistletoe Messer." Stella told him. Danny put his hands up to ward off the oncoming Lindsey.

"Oh No." To all our surprises Lindsey grabbed Danny's shirt collar and pulled him towards her.

"Stop being such a baby Danny." She laughed kissing his lips chastely. Me and Stella glanced at each other impressed. Danny's hand went into Lindsey's hair, pulling her closer with a ferocity that could not be mistaken. Cringing both me and Stella retreated into the crowd, bumping straight into Mac.

"Did you two do that?" he asked pointing at the couple behind us. I gave him my most innocent look.

"Come one Mac we're all sick to death of their fooling around." I glanced at the couple, turning away quickly.

"Well now they're fooling around… Whoa That's a little too graphic." I turned to face Mac, and pointed at the buffet table behind him.

"Mac do you know what that is?" I asked politely. He turned his head and then stared at me shaking it.

"Carmen I don't know…" he stopped mid speech, his eyes on the mistletoe. Stella leaned forward pressing her lips against his gently. He closed his eyes savouring it for a brief second before pulling away.

"Merry Christmas Mac." Stella said softly before moving towards the bar, leaving me and Mac in a stunned silence.

"Your being quite mischievous with that mistletoe ain't ya?" Flack murmured into my ear, his hands on my waist.

"All for the good of the crime lab." I declared turning to face him. He lowered his gaze to me as we swayed in time with the music.

"You've been watching me?" I teased. Don gave a tiny smile.

"Every now and then." He admitted, resting his forehead against mine.

"Danny and Lindsey have stopped kissing by the way, Danny's gesturing us over." He told me looking over my head. I sighed as Flack took my hand and pulled me towards them both. I eyed the sprig of mistletoe in Danny's hands wearily.

"So if I put this mistletoe over both you and Carmen's heads I get a slice of some Devine and Montana action?" Lindsey rolled her eyes seeing me and Flack approaching.

"Can you believe this? He makes us sound like porn stars." Lindsey relayed to me shaking her head.

"I'm sure the calendar would sell a lot better." Flack said thoughtfully. I hit him in the arm.

"See you can make a lot of money out of this idea." Danny told Lindsey, a teasing grin on his face.

"And you get to make a lot of guys happy."

"I'm gonna get some drinks, you guys want some drinks. I know you do Messer. Lindsey?" Flack asked pointing at her. After giving him our drink orders he set off in the direction of the bar. I saw Henderson approaching with his wife and stepped closer to greet them. Nick pulled me into a warm hug.

"Hey, Devine, Merry Christmas." He slurred. I laughed at his state as he slung an arm around me.

"Hey I'm Carmen Devine, Don's girlfriend." I said shaking Henderson's wife's hand. She gave me a friendly smile.

"Jenny…I'm married to this wise guy." I laughed.

"You gonna give me a Christmas kiss Devine." Nick leaned towards me making loud smooching noises. I pushed him away with a giggle. Jenny covered her mouth with her hand laughing hysterically.

"He's always like this when he's drunk." She told me between laughs.

"I like you Devine. You take no crap off anyone not even Messer and you take care of my buddy." He said slapping me on the back. Jenny's face changed, as if she realized something.

"I knew I'd heard of you before…You helped out Don didn't you after the explosion? I remember Nick was really worried when Don hit that depression patch but you helped him out of it and took care of him." Jenny recounted. I opened my mouth to say that wasn't true. That Don did that all himself. She cut me off.

"Don't be so modest. You're good for the guy he's a lot happier since he met you. I have never seen him smile so much." I blushed. I was thankfully saved by Don who brought over my drink.

"You making a move on my girl Henderson, when you got this pretty wife?" he joked, handing me my Malibu and coke. I sipped it, tasting a double.

"Couldn't if I tried. You the man Don." Henderson returned, slipping his arm around Jenny's shoulders.

"No you the man." This went back and forth for a few minutes. Jenny rolled her eyes turning to me.

"We maybe here a while." She said. Excusing myself I handed her my drink and went to the bathroom.

Once in the cubical I heard the door to the ladies open. Someone talking avidly on the phone.

"And what on earth is Don doing with her? He always claimed he wouldn't date anyone he was working with because it "blurred the lines". I mean I thought the guy had taste." I bit back the urge to plant her. The alcohol in me made me lose my normal sense of morals.

"So what she helped him through his little accident. How long was he in hospital? Three, four days?" I felt the rage in me building up. I was so going to plant her.

"Miss him? He was a good lay, but he was a little too pure for my liking…" Pure? The Don Flack I knew was anything but pure.

"Yea, he always had to go running off to save the world." A toilet a few cubicles away from me flushed. I heard Carla put her phone down. I reached for the lock to my own cubical about to tear her into shreds. I heard the tap run and Stella's voice cut though the air.

"I believe it's called a hero complex." She stated turning to face Carla, who watched her suspiciously.

"And in case you didn't know, that's his job. That little accident?" Stella's hand was on her hip as she leaned towards Carla.

"Don saved a lot of people's lives that day…at the risk of his own. He was in hospital for three months and off work for two after that. And that girl, the one that he has no taste in. She saved him. She got him out of depression and took care of him. She's twice the woman you'll ever be." With that Stella left the bathroom, head held high. I opened the door to my cubical and breezed past Carla before stopping dead and glancing at her over my shoulder.

"You fucked up when you cheated on Don, especially with that sleaze." I told her before hurrying after Stella. I clasped her shoulder.

"Hey Stella, let me buy you a drink?" I asked quietly. Stella gave me a tender smile.

"Only if your having one." She said. I nodded guiding her to the bar. We were sitting in a comfortable silence before I said anything.

"I heard what you said in the bathroom to Carla. Thanks." I told her. Stella tapped her drink against mine.

"What are friends for?"

---

I grinned at Lindsey behind the wall, patting the snowball down some more with our gloved hands. I peered over the wall, watching discreetly as Danny and Flack stamped their feet in order to get warm. My head swam a little from the alcohol I'd consumed throughout the night.

"Jesus Christ what do they do in the bathroom?" Danny muttered hands deep in his pockets.

"One of Life's mysteries Danny, who knows?" Flack warned him, burying his face in the scarf. I remembered how much he hated his nose getting cold and smiled. I picked up my snowball and launched it at the two men, followed closely by Lindsey. Danny happened to look up as Lindsey's snow ball hurtled through the air and exploded in his face.

"Montana!" He roared running towards us. Don shook the snow from the back of his head, striding quickly towards me, a playful grin on his face.

I back-pedalled running onto a patch of ice, sliding on it I found myself going down face first into a pile of snow. Frozen with shock, I felt Don pull me up like a child and help me to my feet, sniffing. He wiped the snow from my face, chuckling. Behind us I could sight of Lindsey pelting Danny with more snow balls she'd stashed behind the wall. I wrapped my arms around myself teeth chattering and feeling suddenly tired. Flack moved behind me unbuttoning his coat and wrapping me up in it, his chest pressed against my back. I sighed snuggling into his warmth, closing my eyes.

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked nuzzling my neck with his nose.

"Enough." I admitted feeling a little wobbly.

"I think it's time to get you home and warmed up." He whispered to me, arms wrapped tightly around my waist to steady me. We shuffled towards Danny and Lindsey who were still playing in the snow.

"I'm gonna take her home, she's drunk and cold." I shook my head.

"I'm not that…" my legs went from under me. Lucky Don's arms held me upright.

"Sure you're not princess. Whoa…" My legs buckled again.

"I'm gonna have to carry you aren't I?" Don said to me, picking me up and cradling me in his arms. I snuggled in his arms and lent my head against his chest inhaling the scent of him.

The next thing I remember is waking up the next morning with my back pressed against Flack's bare chest, wrapped tightly in his arms, protected against the harsh cold winter.


	47. Chapter 47: Boxing Day with The Flacks

Chapter Forty Seven

_Last Christmas I gave you my heart_

_And the very next day you gave it away_

_This year to save me from tears_

_I'll give it to someone special_

_Wham – Last Christmas_

Standing outside the door to Flack's parent's house was a little unnerving, but I reflected it was better than spending the next few days at home. It had been nice seeing my family again; Evelyn's kids were a year older and showered me with kisses the moment I stepped through the door. Around the table I was conscious about the things that were being unspoken. There was a slight tension whenever my life in New York was mentioned. I was also aware of their avoidance of subjects like Mathew, the stabbing, the explosion. When my father began on the fact a job had opened up in Portland, my mother silenced him with an irate look, and asked me about my latest boyfriend. They weren't too impressed to learn he was a detective in the NYPD, to them a cop's life was a dangerous one, one I shouldn't be involved in as my own life was dangerous enough. All this was said with their silence. So leaving early wasn't a problem to me. I couldn't give them any of the answers they wanted. As far as I was concerned I wasn't coming back.

-----

"You ready for this, you know we can turn back and go back to the apartment. You know what I think that's a good idea…" I raised my hand and knocked on the door loudly ignoring Don's nervous banter. I grabbed his arm as he turned away and linked it in my own.

"We made it this far." I said, as the door opened revealing a whole host of happy noises.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." He said under his breath as his mom's face appeared, grinning at us both broadly. Ushering us both into the house we were set upon by a gaggle of tiny children, none above the age of six. Katherine's arms went around me in a warm gesture.

"You're looking really well Carmen." Katherine said as the gang of children descended on the grinning Flack shouting chorus's of "Uncle Don." Laughing with Katherine at the display, she guided me form the hallway and into the kitchen, where Don Flack Snr was settled talking to a man similar to his age, a lopsided red party hat perched on his thinning hair line. He stood up upon seeing me, and moved towards me quickly, planting a kiss on my left cheek, and giving me a bear hug.

"Here she is, how are you doing honey?" he said pulling away to get a look over the whole of me.

"Recovering ok?" he nodded pointedly at my stomach. He was talking about the stab wound; we hadn't told either Don's or my parents that I couldn't have children. I was still coming to terms with the issue, whilst Don was still actively cheerful, the guy was a wonder. I knew it had to bother him a little but he was always there to support me.

"It aches from time to time, but it's better than it was I admitted." We didn't mention Don Jnr's wrists; he'd have faint scars from where the handcuffs restrained him. His parents didn't blame me or him for what happened, they took it as a harsh unexpected event, that we were both strong enough to survive. I found myself being guided into the family room. Looking around I saw that Maria was the only person I recognized around the huge dining table. Maria stood up giving me an affection hug and set about introducing me to everyone around the room.

With additions to the four Flack's I already knew, there was Peter, who was Don's younger brother by about a year, Lorna, his wife. Their kids were, Will, Eddie and Elizabeth. Then there was Nana, Aunty Eileen and Uncle Alan, who was Katherine's brother. The man in the kitchen was Don Snr's brother Freddy; his wife had died of lung cancer five years ago. Then there was Maria and her husband Michael, her kids were the little blond haired twins Annie, Sophie and David. All the kids were currently swamping Flack still in the hallway. I found myself seated beside Maria, which I was grateful for and Nana as we were waiting for the food.

"She's so pretty, where did Don find you?" I blushed at Nana's compliment.

"I work with Don." I told her sipping at my red wine.

"At the station house? You're a cop too?" I shook my head.

"At the crime lab, we investigate the scenes together." I said as Nana gave me a wider smile. Eileen was sitting across from us.

"Brains and beauty?" she said raising an eyebrow wryly. Don dropped down into the empty seat next to me, clearing his throat and grinning.

"Where are the kids?" Maria asked head darting around the room. There was not a child in sight.

"Playing hide and seek." Don said without looking at her. I stared at him suspicious.

"You're supposed to be "it" aren't you?" I felt a ghost of a smile trace my lips. Don took a sip of his beer pretending to be innocent. Maria hit around the back of the head.

"She knows your ways Don." Eileen tittered from across the table.

"Go find them, dinners ready." Maria told him, eyeing the food her mother was carrying into the room.

After finding all six kids with my help we settled down to eat.

---

"So how did you two meet?" Lorna asked as they handed out the desert.

"Through Danny…" Flack said picking at the chocolate fondue. "Carmen had just transferred from Portland, she knew him from college.

"It was magical she showered me with paintballs up in Queens." The table laughed around us as ate some of the pudding in front of me. Maria next to me filled me in about her job as a psychiatrist.

"You paying her to be here Don?" Peter joked with a wide smile on his face. Don glanced at me, his eyes sparkling.

"I like to think it was my cunning wit and good looks, but the money might have something to do with it." I punched him in the arm laughing along with everyone else, as Don put on a contemplative face.

---

"You should have seen his face. He just holds this little guy up, and Joshua just throws up all the way down his new shirt. I'm wetting myself laughing, and he's just got this baby, arms outstretched, can't put him down, he can't really move because he's got puke all over him." Flack rolled his eyes, as the table burst into hysterics, imagining the scene I was setting.

"I can see the term sworn to secrecy means nothing to you." He murmured into my ear.

"Hey you told them about the time I danced around the street drunk, singing the sound of music." I retorted. He held up his hands.

"Guilty." He grinned. I scooped up more pudding popped it into my mouth.

"So have you two thought about the future yet, anymore grandkids coming your mother's way?" Eileen said leaning towards us across the table. I dropped my spoon; it clattered on the plate noisily. The smile on Don's face froze, as he turned his head towards me.

I muttered the words "Excuse me." before bolting to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on my face, I looked at myself in the mirror. Why was I so surprised they'd asked that question? They're a big family, why wouldn't they want more kids. I had to get a grip on this. It wouldn't rule me. Still I couldn't stand the thought of them being disappointed. They'd accepted me into their family. They're son had been nearly killed because he was dating me and they didn't bat an eyelid, they didn't blame me, they blamed the son of bitch Don had put in his grave. They were good people. They were better than my own family…That realization hit me hard. When I was in hospital after Mathew had beaten and stabbed me, Don's mom and dad had visited me regularly, cheering me up and bringing me treats when the others were too busy. They treated me like I was their own daughter. I couldn't stand the thought of their disappointment.

I heard the murmur of voices as I moved to open the bathroom door.

"Is she alright?" Katherine's voice was a whisper.

"Look mom it's no big deal, she's fine." Don said trying to sooth Katherine.

"I don't believe that for a second Don, I saw her face." Katherine's voice was determined. I knew Don was going to give in.

"Carmen can't have children mom, she found out recently and she's still coming to terms with it. The attack damaged her inside. She's already disappointed about unable to give me children, she doesn't need to feel like she's letting you down too." Don told her. I gave a tiny smile. He didn't need to defend me. I heard Katherine's in take of breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even know." Don's voice softened.

"No one does mom."

I opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out into the hallway. Don and Katherine shut their mouths quickly.

"Don't worry it's not your fault, it's a sore spot right now. I'm just trying to deal with it." I confessed.

"I'm sorry, I ran out." I apologized. Katherine said nothing. Instead she wrapped her arms around me and swept me into a motherly hug.

"It doesn't matter honey. All that matters is that you're ok." I felt the build up of fear leave me as I realised that Don's family would accept me no matter what.


	48. Chapter 48: Tourist Attraction

**A.N: Thankies reviewers I'm in a bit of a predicament at the minute, when I get to the last chapter I'll give you a heads up but I want you guys to make a decision. This is still set in winter despite the song.**

Chapter Forty Eight

_I'm gonna raise a fuss, I'm gonna raise a holler_

_About working all summer trying to earn a dollar_

_Well I tried to call my baby_

_I tried to get a date_

_My boss says no dice son you gotta work late._

_Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do,_

_But there ain't no cure for the Summertime Blues_

_Eddie Cochran – Summertime Blues_

Two days after Christmas and I was standing ankle deep in the freezing cold snow in Central Park. I stood over the body, photographing the bound feet, and then the hands.

"Looks like a mob hit." Danny said moving beside me and dodging the footsteps leading away from the body.

"Execution style, bullet straight in the back of the head." I clarified

"Kneeling marks down in the snow." Danny pointed out. I crouched down photographing it.

"There's a weird substance here." Getting out a cotton bud and swabbing it with a frown.

"Smells chemical like." I said wrinkling my nose. Danny stood up sullen.

"I'll get it back to the lab for analysis." Danny said taking a step back. I nodded, starring at the wallet in my hand.

"Robbery is out of the question, I got a few hundreds in here." I exclaimed. Danny stood behind me, his eyes studying the body, frowning.

"You noticed the guy's clothes?" he asked as I stood up.

"Complete tourist attire." I said thoughtful. Danny reached forward pulling something out of the dead guy's pocket. A subway ticket. I peered at it over his shoulder, camera still in my hands.

"At least we know what stop he got off at." I said to Danny, who looked more subdued than usual. I twisted my body towards him, eyes studying his face.

"Are you ok?" Danny blinked, snapping out of his thoughts, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Yea…fine." His answer was abrupt. I knew he was lying; he hadn't even ribbed me today.

"How was Christmas?" I asked returning the camera safely to its case. Danny looked away over Central Park.

"It was…" I interrupted him.

"Yea, fine you said. Look Danny what's going on?" I said touching his arm gently. Danny pulled away quickly and turned away from me looking disturbed.

"I've gotta get this back to the lab. I'll see you back there." I watched him walk away puzzled.

"What's got him?" Flack asked, his gaze going over my head. His eyes intent on Danny as were mine.

"I don't know." I said shaking my head and turning my attention to Flack.

"You think it's something to do with Louie?" I shrugged, feeling a little worried.

"Maybe."

"I'll take him out tonight, see if I can get him drunk enough to tell me what it is" Flack murmured. Bending my head I nodded, packing my kit away and waiting for the coroner to show up.


	49. Chapter 49:When Things Start Going Wrong

Chapter Forty Nine

_Starting from here_

_Let's make a promise_

_You and me _

_Let's just be honest._

_Tatu – Not Gonna Get Us_

The colourful tourist clothes from the vic were heaped in front of me on the table. I'd combed them for clues finding traces of apple and coffee on them, a strange concoction. Out of sheer curiosity I decided to check out the labels. I was surprised to find out all the clothing was from shops exclusive to New York. I checked the I.D again finding a New York address. What the hell was going on here?

The door into the lab opened, letting in a tiny gust of wind, I glanced up from my leaning position on the table surface as Flack swept in with a wide grin. I stared at him perplexed.

"Wanna explain why you look like the cat that's got the cream?" I said, tapping my pen against the table in thought, still studying the clothes in front of me.

"We've got an eye witness who claims that she saw everything that happened to our vic." For a minute I was speechless. Flack gave me that dazzling smile of his. The smile that said he thought he was right.

"You're serious!" I exclaimed. Flack nodded only in response. I let my eyes drift to the clothes in front of me; something was still niggling at me.

"What's up?" Flack asked following my gaze to the clothes.

"Something abut this is weird, all the clothes are from New York shops, this guy was a native." I told him pointing at the clothes. Flack shrugged.

"Some people have bad dress sense." He said simply. I shook my head.

"No I think it goes deeper than that. Everything matched to meet the standards of pure tourist attire; he even has the camera and these." I showed Don the tiny statues of the Empire State Building.

"Who buys tiny Empire State Buildings if they're a native?" Flack shrugged again, not laying my game.

"Weirdos?"

"Can you be serious for a second?" I snapped at him frowning.

"I am being serious, this could be the one case where everything's just plain weird. Come on we deal with strange things all the time. Is it that hard to think maybe we got a sane one? Maybe the guys got nieces or nephews in a different state, he was sending them to." He offered.

"Seven of them?" I pointed out. "Whilst dressed like a tourist?"

"As I said weirdo." He answered. I began to find myself infuriated, not just with him, but the case as well.

"Your really going for this eye witness thing aren't you?" I said crossing my arms over my chest, knowing that was exactly what he was throwing it all on.

"I've got a good feeling about this." He told me openly.

"Uh Huh." I replied, feeling irate. I crouched down, making myself eye level with the tiny Empire State buildings. Flack moved to the door and glanced back over his shoulder, expecting me to follow.

"You coming?" he called. I shook my head in response spotting a tiny dab of residue on the corner of one of the buildings. I swabbed it quickly.

"I'm gonna stick with this. See if I can make sense of the clothes and these things. Take Danny if you can find him." I told him thoughtfully. Don didn't reply, he just closed the door quietly behind him.

-----

After going over the clothes for the nineteenth time and finding nothing more, I moved back onto the tiny Empire State Buildings. Turning up a blank with the residue, I picked one up and moved it closer to my face to examine it more finely. It slipped from my fingers; I fumbled with it for a second, before it slipped entirely, and hit the edge of the table. I froze for a second, imagining the grilling I was going to get off Mac. White powder exploded as the Empire State Building split open on impact. I took a step back coughing, and covering my mouth with my latex covered hand.

Waiting until the white cloud dispersed, I grabbed the pre-made chemical solution and scooped some of the powder, which was now coating the floor, into a little white tray curious. I added the solution, grinning as it turned blue. Now I knew why the Empire State Buildings were so important. They contained heroin.

Walking in the corridor results in hand, feeling mighty proud of myself, I heard my name being called. I turned cheerful to face Flack whose own face was now sombre.

"We have a problem." He told me deadly serious. I felt the happiness drain from me as he said those words.

"With the witness?" I asked my mood changing completely. Don visibly flinched.

"Carmen don't give me that look." He said crossing his arms over his chest defensive.

"What look?" I raised an eyebrow.

"The one that says you're going to break my kneecaps. I'll have you know it's a very unattractive look for a woman." I narrowed my eyes, giving him a full on glare. Flack took a step back.

"Just tell me this problem…" I trailed off for a second looking around us.

"Where's Danny?" I asked, realising I hadn't seen Messer since the crime scene.

"That…is another problem." I felt my stress level raise.

"Explain it to me." I demanded, grinding my teeth.

"Lindsey's logged in the evidence, she's covering for him at the minute, it looks like he's in the wind." Flack told me bleakly. I closed my eyes for a second grounding myself.

"Does Mac know?" I asked focusing on the task at hand.

"I hope not." Was Flack's reply. I cursed.

"What the hell is going on here? Have you tried his cell?"" Flack stared at me patiently.

"Switched off." He told me. I let out a tiny growl, something else occurred to me. I met Flack's gaze.

"You think he's ok?" Flack nodded looking uneasy.

"He's Danny he always lands on his feet." He looked hopeful at least. Unfortunately I wasn't in the mood for hopeful.

"How can you be so sure?" I interrogated.

"If he hasn't turned up by the end of shift, I'll find him" Flack promised me. Taking a deep breath I decided to focus at the task in hand. The case or the two cases now.

"So this problem with the witness?" I began. Flack shook his head stopping me in my tracks.

"Come see for yourself."


	50. Chapter 50: The Problem With Eye Witness

Chapter Fifty

_Come see a living, breathing spectacle_

_Only seen right here._

_It's your last chance in this life time_

_The line forms at the rear_

_You will not believe your eyes_

_Your eyes will not believe your ears._

_Bon Jovi – Last Man Standing_

The woman in front of us was jittery; her eyes darted to either side of the interview room, before settling on me. Her clothes were mismatched; she had the distinct look of someone with problems.

"Tell Detective Devine, what you told me Sheila." Don said standing against the wall behind me. Her eyes were on me, wide, unblinking, staring. I fought the urge to step back. I had a short resistance when it came to crazy people.

"I saw him; he had the towers, yea the towers. He went to the wolf and walked right past. I couldn't do that…" she shook her head, her eyes pleading.

"I wouldn't walk past the wolf…he walked down the rainbow road. The towers, he took them. The tiger chased him and the apples they were all over the floor rolling. Then the pixies…they grabbed him, hurled him in their chariot. He didn't want to go…Na Huh." I stared at her uneasy. I closed my eyes for a brief second, feeling a head ache coming on. I felt up a hand to Sheila to stop her ramble.

"Sheila can you excuse me and Detective Flack for a second?" I asked politely. Sheila nodded before her eyes darted around the room. She seemed partially interested in the mirror.

Once outside I rounded on Don, seething I turned to him hands on my hips, I was raging.

"Did you just pull a random crazy person off the street?" I bellowed at him.

"She came to us." Flack said bringing himself up to his full height. I may have found this intimidating if I was less angry.

"Have you got her file?" I questioned. Flack crossed his arms over his chest. The look on his face was like that of an adult trying to sooth a child.

"I sent for it, it's probably on my desk."

"Go get it." I seethed. Don held his hands up.

"Whoa princess, this isn't the end of the world, you still have the evidence." I ground my teeth as he said this, knowing he wasn't getting the whole extent of Danny being in the wind.

"The evidence could be compromised because Danny has pissed off to who knows where. A jury could throw that back in our faces. They'll say the chain of evidence has been compromised." Don grabbed my arms gently in his hands and met my furious gaze head on. His eyes were patient and firm, dampening my anger a little bit. He knew I was overloading.

"Calm down, deal with one thing at a time. Lindsey's got Danny's evidence, she's processing it as we speak, I will go get the file, and then we'll figure out what to do." His words were calm, I nodded wearily. With that he retreated down the corridor giving me five minutes to cool off and pull myself together.

-----

I flicked through the file with interest, while Flack went to get Sheila a cup of tea. She was looking at a few mug shots in the room next door. I put the file down watching her through the one way glass with vague interest. After Flack gave Sheila the tea, he returned to me on the other side of the glass, striding right up to the window focusing on her.

"So what are we going to do?" he asked eyes on Sheila. I bowed my head knowing that he wasn't going to like my suggestion.

"Take her statement." He turned towards me, face in a look of disbelief. I didn't look at him. I pushed the file towards him.

"You're kidding me? The woman's six sandwiches short of a picnic basket. She can't help with the investigation." He argued.

I raised my eyes to his, fighting his scepticism with reason.

"She has a mental illness, she can't decipher fiction from reality, but she knows what she sees. She's more respondent to images than words." Flack watched me silently as I tried to explain. I pulled out my evidence.

"Lieutenant Horatio Caine had a case similar to this one in Miami. A man with the same illness called Eugene Roberts, witnessed a murder, at the time he kept saying Cobalt did it, they searched everywhere for evidence of this man named Cobalt, it actually turned out, that Cobalt was the make of shoes that the killer was wearing. Eugene had been at eye level with the killer's shoes. She's the same Flack. It's all about interpreting the evidence." I explained. Flack looked at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"If this comes to nothing your not gonna freak out or anything?" he asked me. I shook my head giving him a salute.

"Scout's honour." He eyed me seriously. I bit my lip.

"We'll give it a shot. If nothing comes of it you owe me princess." He told me. I let out a deep breath I'd been holding.

"Right now it's our best shot, I'm gonna go check on Lindsey, see if we can piece anymore of the puzzle together. Trace where the drugs came from." Flack studied me for a minute.

"Promise me you're not going to go running off on your own with this heroin thing, dealers are ruthless Carmen, they won't think twice before icing a cop." He warned me. I rolled my eyes.

"You act like I've never been a cop before."

"I know you." He said pointedly. I bowed my head at the remark, he knew me a little too well.

"Come get me when you get the statement and we'll go on a treasure hunt." I said changing the subject. Acknowledging this Flack nodded before returning to the mirrored room.


	51. Chapter 51: Severe Lack of Danny

Chapter Fifty One

_Is there somebody out there?_

_To make things wrong _

_To make things right_

_And I feel that there's somebody out there._

_The Calling – Somebody Out There_

Lindsey was hard at work in the lab, analysing the strip of tape when I opened the door and stepped inside. She looked up briefly greeting me with a welcoming smile, before reverting back to the microscope.

"Any word from Danny?" I asked hopeful. Lindsey shook her head without looking up.

"Any idea…" I didn't even get the sentence out before she shook her head again. She turned her attention to me, leaning against the table from her seat.

"He took a phone call and asked me to cover him." She stated before I could ask anymore questions.

"What about your own case?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Lindsey made a face.

"Hawkes says he's got it covered." I nodded gratefully slipping into the stool across from her for a five second breather.

"You think we should tell Mac?" Lindsey asked, I knew she was trying to do the right thing. Danny had put us in a predicament. I sighed shaking my head.

"If we don't hear from him before the end of the shift, I'll tell him." I reasoned. Lindsey gave me a relieved look.

"So what do we have?" I asked referring to the case. I was hoping for good news.

"The tape's standard parcel tape, but it is interesting, it was covered in chemicals, I did a search and it came back as the same on the swab Danny gave me, it turns out their industrial cleaning supplies." Lindsey told me. I watched her as she held up an empty evidence envelope.

"Danny also found some gum in one of the foot prints, I sent it to the DNA lab for analysis, they're a little backed up by Mac and Stella's case right now." She shuddered.

"Lots of biological, I told them to give you a call when the results came through." I beamed at her thoughtfulness, standing up.

"That's great, thanks for that Lindsey and for everything today." I told her grateful watching her as she left the lab. I didn't even have the chance to sit down again as Flack accosted me within seconds of Lindsey leaving, the file in his hand.

"How bad?" I asked as he slapped the report down in front of me.

"Read it." he slid it towards me. I picked it up scanning it. Standing up I threw my coat on and gave Flack a mischievous smile.

"Up for a treasure hunt?"


	52. Chapter 52: Following The Evidence

Chapter Fifty Two

_Red over white_

_It's one last fatal scene_

_Rendered by someone unseen_

_Moving on their own_

_Offspring – Conspiracy of One_

"According to the subway ticket, our vic, got off at this station, and walked up these stairs." I told Flack reading at the statement in my hand.

"She said something about the wolf, and walking past it." I searched the buildings next to us before moving into a bigger spectrum. Glancing over the road I caught sight of the offices for Wolfram and Jacobs's lawyer firm. The emblem on their front doors was a wolf, a freaky looking one, leaping at the sidewalk. I pointed it out to Flack, who gave it a disturbed look.

"You think that's what she was talking about?" he asked frowning.

"The insignia is kind of leaping out at the passer-by's." I answered him. He nodded his agreement before we hurried over the road towards the building.

"So he walked past it, and I'm guessing in this direction." I told Flack turning left.

"What's the rainbow thing she's talking about?" he said tilting his head to read the statement over my shoulder. His breath tickled my neck. I ignored it, keeping to our rules about being on the job.

"I don't know yet." I searched the street ahead of us seeing nothing and then across the road.. I even looked down at the paving stones. Again nothing.

"You think that's it?" Flack asked, I raised my head to a string of multicoloured lights above us.

"Could be. I didn't get that one." I said thoughtful, ticking that clue off.

"I still got something on you Devine." Flack shot at me. I gave him a ghost of a smile, before following the lights until they stopped.

"Next clue?" I asked him. Don read the paper in front of me.

"The towers." I spied a fold out table ahead of us, tiny towers littered it.

"I think I got this one." I told him, he didn't even look up from the statement he was reading. He stopped a few steps before the table, leaving me to venture forward. Looking down at the table I saw that the Empire State Buildings were all in rows, clearly divided into two different sections. I selected the ones with a smaller amount. I picked up one of them. I felt the vendor's eyes on me, reproachful. The vendor shook his head.

"They're reserved lady." He told me in a polite tone.

"Reserved for who?" I asked with a bright smile, putting it back.

"Just somebody." The vendor said, his heavy lidded eyes glinted dangerously. I rose to the challenge. I decided to push it a little.

"I'll pay you double for this one." The vendor shook his head glowering at me now.

"What's so special about these ones?" I asked pointing at them.

"Nothing special just reserved lady." His face was beginning to contort into an threatening mask. I reached forward to touch one of the smaller Empire State Buildings. The vendor grabbed my wrist tightly. I stared at his hand hesitantly.

"Bad idea lady." He said flipping open his jacket to reveal a machete on his belt. He released my wrist, eyes never leaving me. I flipped open my own coat revealing my badge and gun.

"Bad idea bringing a knife to a gun fight." I told him. To his credit the vendor did try to bolt. He ran straight into Flack who had his handcuffs at the ready.

"Why, Jojo it's nice to see you again." Flack said cuffing Jojo, against the table in front of him.

"Nice work." Flack congratulated with a genuine smile before radioing in for a patrol car.

"I've still got a ways to go yet." I admitted my eye catching something.

"You stay here with Jojo, I wanna check out something." I told him.

"Don't stray too far." He called out. I pointed at the apple cart by the alley, approaching the older Hispanic man. He raised his head in a friendly greeting.

"Hey." I said rubbing my hands together. I decided to get straight to the point.

"Did your cart take a tumble earlier today?" I asked him openly. The vendor frowned at me.

"Apple are still good." He told me rapidly.

"I'm not debating that." Quickly after assuring the vendor I knew the apples were good, he filled me in on the incident, claiming a tourist was being chased by a huge man in a black jacket, I asked him to sketch the logo on the jacket. He did as I asked which was lucky for me, as he turned out to be a good artist. I thanked him and returned to Flack who was bundling Jojo in the back of the patrol car, as the other cops shifted the Empire State buildings to the lab for analysis.

"You got something?" Flack asked closing the door of the patrol car. I showed him the logo the Hispanic vendor had drawn. A Tiger leaping out of a circle.

"It's a gym logo." Flack said frowning.

"You know it." It was statement rather than a question.

"It's a wise guys place, down in the Bronx. Been there a few times as a rookie, busting up a few fights. The guys like their steroids. They lose their cool quicker." Flack filled me in. Now I had a location. My mind went back to the statement. What about the pixies?

"Take Mac with you on this one." Don said handing the logo back to me.

"They'll eat a pretty young thing like you alive." I wasn't sure whether to take that as a compliment or not.

"Take Mac?" I asked puzzled, trying to badger the story out of Don.

"Female cops don't go down well there. Take Mac…Your running two cases at once here; it's time to get some help. Besides their wise guys." Flack added. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"Problem is I don't want to drop Danny in it, at least until the end of the shift." I sighed, trying to figure out how to keep Danny Messer out of trouble and solve two cases.


	53. Chapter 53: Past Tense

**A.N : This song reminds me of Danny, to do with his past and his relationships with the people in his life. So see what you think. Even though he doesn't feature that much in this chapter, but he is in the back ground lurking.**

Chapter Fifty Three

_I'm sorry for weary life_

_I know I'm not perfect_

_But I can smile_

_And I hope you can see this heart behind my tired eyes_

_I know I can be afraid_

_But I'm alive_

_And I hope you can trust this heart behind my tired eyes_

_Because I'm no angel_

_But please don't think that I won't try and try_

_I'm no angel but does that mean that I can live my life_

_I'm no angel but please don't think that I can't cry_

_Dido – No Angel_

As it turns out when I got back to the lab, Empire State Buildings and heroin included, Danny was already in Mac's office, talking. From the tension I could feel residing from where I was standing, I knew it was serious. I felt concern rush through me. I wanted to be there for him, I wanted to help. I couldn't, I knew Danny wasn't ready right now to let me in.

I took out each Empire State Building and set hem down in front of me piece by piece. After prying the bottom off each one, I discovered thirteen containing heroin out of thirty seven. I had to admit these dealers were smart; they'd been selling these drugs in plain sight in one of New York's most populated areas.

Feeling a little warm, I shed my jacket lashing it on the back of the chair behind me. My abdomen was aching a little. I guessed I'd strained myself somewhere in the past four hours. Working two cases was adding strain I didn't need. I was working a double caseload by myself. I took the dive, knowing I had to see Mac. I glanced up; he seemed to be finishing up with Danny in his office.

I was practically outside the door to Mac's office by the time Danny opened it. Giving me a curt nod, he walked past in silence. I saw it all in his face, man I wanted to help him so badly. Yet my obligation was to this case, our case that I was working alone. Mac stood in the doorway, his eyes rested on me. He looked worn.

"Another one who wants to see me?" he said grimly. I took a small breath before stepping inside.

"It's case related." I replied cheerfully holding up the brown folder in my hands. He closed the door behind me. We settled into our seats before I began. I put the folder onto the desk and slid it across the desk towards him. Mac flicked it open analysing the results in front of him.

"This is what me and Danny have been working on." I said clearing my throat. Mac looked at me for a full minute before speaking.

"You mean that you've been working on?" he said. I bowed my head, finding myself caught in the lie.

"Yea, that I've been working on. Well Lindsey and Flack helped out a lot." Mac nodded in response, looking through the file.

"Don told me to talk to you because the trail led to the Tiger Eye Gym it's…" Mac's head snapped up, eyes intent on me.

"It's in the Bronx I know." I frowned about to ask him the story behind it. He spoke first.

"Seems like you've been working two cases." He told me closing the file over. I twisted in my chair uncomfortably.

"I'm handing over the drugs to someone in Narcotics; I've just finished the report." I confessed. Mac slid the reports back towards me.

"It seems like the right thing to do." Mac gave me his blessing with that case.

"Flack's interviewing Jojo, the dealer. He was pretty adamant that I talk to you about the gym." I said pointedly, waiting for Mac to pick up the hint. We stared each other out for a minute before he opened up finally.

"He wants me to go with you because we've had a run in with the family who owned it a few times. Their connected to the mob. Aidan had a case a while back, a kid's face had been burnt in an unusual pattern, the trauma killed him. She traced it back to a pizzeria, the reception she received was less than welcome, basically they chased her out, and Aidan was tough, no doubt about that. She went back with a few patrol cops and got the murderer off the streets. The family were less than satisfied that their relation had been arrested for murder. They were even angrier to discover it was a female cop who did the dirty. His brother owns the gym, and he's twice as big and twice as mean as the one we've got in prison." Mac's story was a revelation in itself. I'd heard stories about Aidan, but never from Mac.

"So he really will eat me alive?" I asked standing as Mac did. Mac reached over pulling his coat off the coat stand and tugging it on. He stopped for a minute thinking.

"I think he prefers the analogy "grind your bones to make his bread."" Mac told me with a humorous expression. I stared at Mac confused.

"You'll see what I mean."


	54. Chapter 54: Intimidation Methods

Chapter Fifty Four

_You judge me by the look on the organ grinder_

_You judge me by the fact my face don't fit._

_James Blunt – Out of My Mind_

The run down gym was nearly as imposing as its six foot three, pro bodybuilder owner who was glowering at me. Mac had informed me that the key to dealing with Big Tony was showing no fear. Unfortunately Big Tony had quiet a lot of weight and height on me. Yet the dirty looks he was giving me were adding to my already stressful day, I could feel my temper beginning to boil underneath the surface.

"You here to take me away?" he grunted wiping his neck with a tiny black towel. He was towering over me. To my own credit I didn't take a step back.

"Depends whether your guilty or not." I told him hands on my hips, craning my head to look him in the face. Tony leaned over me casting a shadow over my body with his. I stayed firmly where I was.

"You think you can arrest me little girl?" He sneered. I opened my mouth to retort, but was cut off by Mac's command.

"That's enough, now we're here about the murder of this man." Mac slammed the picture down on the office table. Tony peered at it for a second before pulling away, shaking his head.

"Never seen him before." Tony said, his big mossy green eyes now on Mac, they stood staring at each other as a test of wills for a few minutes.

"Nice jacket." I said breaking the tension in the room, and eyeing up Tony's black jacket slung over the back of his office chair, the gym logo was exactly how my vendor had drawn it. Tony turned his full attention to me. He leered at me, almost growling.

"You like tigers, little girl?" I felt my jaw clench at the phrase, especially when Tony bared his teeth at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you like silver bracelets?" I retorted. I knew across the room that Mac was not liking the confrontation that was mounting. The feminist in me refused to back down, this guy riled me up badly, I felt like I was being tested.

"If you two are finished matching egos, can you tell me how many people wear these jackets?" Mac asked cutting in again. Tony turned his back on me and focused on Mac.

"Only the trainers, that's ten in total." He replied.

"They all in now?" Mac asked.

"It's a Monday." Tony snorted. I stifled my own frustration with this man.

"We're going to need them all including yours." Mac told him. I watched as Tony moved to the chair yanking the jacket out of it and thrust it towards Mac, before turning to me and giving me the equivalent to a death glare.

"What is your problem?" I blurted out suddenly. Tony took a step towards me, and then another. I felt like I was facing a run away train. He stopped abrupt in front of me.

"You not scared of me little girl?" he said drawing himself to his full height.

"Hell no, your like a big old teddy bear." I responded with an innocent smile. We stood staring at each other unflinching, before Tony turned to Mac.

"She's got balls…" he said. I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment.

"Betcha she gets herself into trouble?" Tony asked jerking his thumb at me.

"I haven't got time to fill you in on the whole list." Mac said his tone a little bit warmer than before. Tony nodded knowingly.

"I'll get you those jackets." Then that was it he was gone from the room. I twisted towards Mac, arms over my chest.

"The list isn't that big." I muttered. He was staring down at the jacket, scrutinizing it.

"It's getting bigger." he informed me. I shrugged my shoulders at his response.

"I just did what you said and showed no fear." Mac's gaze swept up to me.

"There's showing no fear and then there's letting your feelings get the best of you." He warned me.

"It worked out ok in this situation." I pointed out. Mac opened his mouth to say something more but Tony entered the room carrying the rest of the jackets. He handed them to Mac.

"That's the lot of them." He said crossing his arms over his chest, his muscles bulged more potently, I found this alarming.

"We'll try and get them back as soon as possible." Mac told Tony, who nodded and then fixed me with another stare.

"You wanna go again?" I asked him with a playful grin. Tony shook his head.

"That's one thing you can beat me at girl."

"Says the man who can bench press a car." I shot back, following Mac as we drifted towards the door. Tony put his meaty hand on my shoulder. Both me and Mac stopped dead. Suddenly I was very conscious of the damage this guy could do.

"One day your gonna have to tell me all about this list." Tony said with a wide smile. I gave a shaky laugh.

"That's the day; we both retire from our jobs, and let our morals slip a little Tony." I returned before following Mac out the door, wiping the sweat off my brow.


	55. Chapter 55: Five Minutes of Peace

Chapter Fifty Five

_Let the daylight in_

_On a better day_

_It's been too long_

_We've been living under a rain cloud_

_The Lighthouse Family – Raincloud_

"You did what!" I sunk even deeper into my seat under the heat of Flack's gaze. He'd nearly spat his coffee on me from across the table as Mac told the group the story with Big Tony. The table in the break room was surrounded by us. Stella laughed at the expression on Don's face and Mac's retelling.

"So no kidding she made friends with Tony Rosetti?" Flack exclaimed, his eyes on Mac. Mac shook his head.

"I think he wanted a date." He said sipping his coffee and then setting it back down. I shifted in my seat uncomfortable, hands wrapped around my steaming coffee.

"I see your version of keeping a low profile are different to mine." Flack said across the table, a boyish smile crossing his lips.

"I just did what Mac told me, I didn't let him intimidate me. Unfortunately Big Tony managed to rile me." I tried to explain.

"Hence a new friendship was formed." Hawkes broke in from next to me.

"So she's more of a hot head than you Messer…" Flack said turning to the empty chair. There was a stunned silence as he returned to his original position staring at his coffee grimly.

"I forgot." He murmured. Not looking up I stirred more sugar into my coffee.

"Anyone know what's going on with Danny?" I said quietly, approaching the subject gingerly.

"He'll tell you when he's ready." Mac replied, tipping his head back and gulping the remainder of his coffee. I stared at him alarmed at his ability to drink boiling hot liquid that quickly.

"Did they teach you to drink lava in the Marines?" I asked him, eyes on his empty coffee cup.

"I've never seen anyone down anything that hot before." I exclaimed sipping my own coffee. Mac stood up, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's learning to eat and drink on the run. Come one we've got those jackets to process." He said beckoning me back to the lab. I stood up leaving my coffee mug on the table unable to drain it.

"Slave driver." I accused giving Mac a mock glare. Stella stood up next to me patting my arm. I diverted my attention to her.

"You still coming to Raph's tonight?" she asked dumping my half empty mug into the sink.

"Only if you've got first round." I joked half way out the door.

"Freeloader." She called back humorously, I returned to the lab laughing.


	56. Chapter 56: Overworking

Chapter Fifty Six

_There is nothing left to say_

_To you, that you wanna hear_

_That you wanna know._

_Maroon Five – Tangled_

Analysing the ten jackets between the two of us took time, and out of all of them it turned out to be the final one that had a tiny speck of apple on it that the owner had missed when wiping. Letting out a deep sigh, I stood up quickly. I felt a twinge in my stomach, a tiny stab of pain ran through me. I put my hand to it without thinking. A vague dizziness over took me. I closed my eyes leaning on the table. When it shifted I opened my eyes to see Mac's gaze on me, his face etched with concern.

"You ok?" he asked frowning from across the table.

"I just got up too quickly." I told him, straightening up. Mac put the jacket down, his full attention upon me.

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked. Mac would have made a good father if he and Clare had had children. I thought back over the last few hours realizing where my mistake had started.

"Before we found the witness." I admitted, remembering that that had been four hours ago. My breakfast before that had been a Coco Pops bar I'd stolen out of Don's secret stash in the glove compartment of his car.

"With all the hassle with this case. I guess I just forgot."

"You forgot to eat?" Mac said surprised, giving me a sidelong glance. I folded my arms over my chest.

"Like you've never done it." I pointed out. Mac tilted his head at me.

"Go get one of the granola bars out of the fridge." He ordered. I waved him off for a second.

"I'll get it in a second, can you just fill me in on what we have first?" I pleaded. Mac gave me a dry smile, pointing his pen at the jacket.

"The jacket belongs to Romero Sanchez, from the apple on his jacket we've deducted that he was the one chasing our vic and it was him that went over the apple cart. Yet these two jackets have traces of the chemicals Lindsey found on the tape, and on the vic's clothing. They belong to Larenzo Carnell and Sammy Grecken, they own a business together…" The image of a van floated into my head, it was parked outside the gym.

"Cleaning Pixies." I murmured fitting in the final clue of the puzzle. The only thing we didn't have was the reason why, I was betting the drugs were something to do with it.

"So we have three of them…" I began. Mac cut me off.

"Out now…Granola bar…" he said pointing at the break room. I frowned at him, sticking my tongue out I obeyed.

-----

Whilst munching on the granola bar I began to think about what Flack had told me from his interview with Jojo. The vic had made a deal with Jojo, He'd given the heroin to him to sell on the street, and then taken the tiny Empire State Buildings to sell to private buyers. My guess was he was ripping off the mob, and that was one thing that you could never do and live.

------

After discovering that Flack was busy overseeing the transition from our case to Narcotics, and knowing that Mac was busy with Stella. I made the decision to go to the gym myself, armed with patrol cops. I desperately wanted to see this case through to the very end. I needed closure.

-----

"Back so soon Detective?" Tony called through the open door of his office as I walked past. I cringed I was really hoping to avoid him. He came out, his face contorting into an angry mask when he saw the different patrol cops behind me. I flashed him a grim smile.

"I'm sorry this isn't a social call." I said bowing my head and then deciding to retain his gaze.

"I need to talk to three of your trainers, down at the station." I confirmed what I knew he was thinking. His face darkened as he frowned.

"Your kidding right?" I shook my head peering up at him

"Either you tell me where Romero Sanchez, Larenzo Carnell and Sammy Grecken are; otherwise I'm going to tear this place apart looking." I warned him coldly. Tony narrowed his eyes at me clenching his jaw s hard I thought his teeth were about to break.

"The weight room." He grunted. I didn't look away and neither did he.

"Show me." I demanded. Tony moved towards the door yanking it open with enough force to yank it off the hinges.

"After you Detective." He seethed as I walked though the door.

"What is it with you female cops?" he chided as we walking down the corridor. I stopped dead turning to him in the corridor raging.

"You know what Tony…It's not about me or you; it's about a murder of a man found in Central Park…he deserves justice. I'm not out for you and your family. I'm following the evidence, and I will do that until the evidence helps me catch the people who did it." I snapped. Tony turned away and carried on walking down the corridor leaving me to trail behind.

"Let's just get one with this Detective, after this I don't want to see your face around here again." He said grinding his teeth.

"I can't promise that."


	57. Chapter 57: Expressing Concerns

Chapter Fifty Seven

_Friday night, I'm going nowhere_

_All the lights are changing green or red._

_Turning all the T.V stations_

_Situations running through my head _

_Looking back through time it's clear that I've been blind _

_I've been a fool._

_David Gray – Babylon_

Upon my return to the Crime Lab I found a very pissed off Detective Flack waiting for me in my office. The moment I stepped through the door he was at me.

"He could have snapped your head clean off." This had been his argument for the past few minutes.

"I had patrol with me, and I was armed." I pointed out.

"You think that would have stopped him? The guy could have strangled you with his bare hands." He argued, pointing at me. I felt myself lose it with him.

"I don't need you to baby me Flack. I am competent at my job I was before we even met." I snapped. He turned away his mouth set in a thin line and then returned to frown at me.

"You know what your problem is? You're arrogant." He returned with full ferocity.

"No more than you are." I retorted calmly. He looked a fronted. I turned my back on him, straightening the files on my desk.

"Look I'm sorry ok? I wanted closure, I wanted this case to get finished with and hey look it is. I am sorry." I spoke softly, letting out a deep sigh. I felt his presence close behind me. He put his hands on my shoulders and began to massage them gently. I felt the tension begin to flow out of me.

"Look I was just worried about you. You've overworked and I know you haven't been taking care of yourself with all the stress." He said quietly, I relaxed against him as he kissed the back of my head gently. He was worried, and who blamed him. He was right I did a dumb thing and if Mac ever found out he'd bury me. I turned to him as he put his hands on either side of me palm down on the desk top. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me closer into a tender embrace.

_Turning back for home_

_You know I'm feeling so alone_

_I can't believe_

_Climbing on the stair_

_I turn around and see you _

_Smiling there in front of me._

"Your right." I told him burying my face in his chest and letting out a deep breath.

"I'm an idiot, I just wanted to close this case. I needed the closure." I told him pulling away feeling settled and more relaxed. Don somehow always had that effect on me. He bent his head low his lips catching mine.

"Just take care of yourself." He murmured as he pulled away gently. I nodded promising him just that.

_Let go of your heart_

_Let go of you head_

_And failing that_

_Babylon_


	58. Chapter 58: Confessions of Three Women

**AN: I thought that this was a great song to describe how all the three of them are feeling at the mo. It also adds elements of Carmen and Don's relationship.**

Chapter Fifty Eight

_I hate the world today_

_Your so good to me_

_I know but I can't change_

_I tried to tell you that_

_But you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath_

_Innocent and sweet._

_I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one_

_I think it's cool you do what you do and don't try to save me._

_I'm a bitch_

_I'm a tease_

_I'm a goddess on my knees_

_When you hurt_

_When you suffer I'm your angel undercover._

_Meredith Brooks – Bitch_

"So it turns out he was trying to play the mob, and they got him. Romero chased him and the other two grabbed him. All the evidence we retrieved it went towards finding the three killers." I told Stella and Lindsey sipping contently at my cocktail through my straw. Stella rose her glass to me.

"So your friendship with Big Tony is well and truly over?" she smiled. I nodded.

"Definitely, out it this way, he sees me again you guys are gonna be investigating my murder." I informed them. Lindsey gulped her pink cocktail before raising a toast.

"To hard cases and disappearing colleagues." She said, as we kinked our glasses together.

"At least we know Don's with him now." I reasoned. Lindsey breathed a long sigh of relief. I knew that feeling. Stella was twirling the ice cubes in her glass around with the straw.

"Why don't we play a game? We each have to share one secret, now it doesn't go off this table, it stays with us three." Stella offered. I nodded liking the idea of finding out more about these two. Lindsey nodded her agreement. Stella began.

"What happened to you to make you go to Miami?" she asked shyly. I bowed my head and sipped from my straw before answering.

"A lot of bad things happened to me that day…but the real reason…" I looked off into the distance.

"When Mathew attacked me, there was damage, internal bleeding, he ruptured something. The doctor had been trying to get in contact with me for a long time, but in the end I made a deal with Mac, he let me have Joshua and Millie's case if I went the doctors. He suspected…Anyway after telling the kids their mother had died; I went to see my doctor as promised. He told me…" My voice wavered slightly. I had to get this out.

"He said I couldn't have children." Stella's eyes were on me sympathetic, while Lindsey put her hand on my arm reassuringly. Their full attention was on me.

"When I came home, Don was there, we'd had plans, he'd seen O'Brian all over me. He thought we'd been together. We had a massive fight, but I just, I couldn't tell him. I just walked out and went to the lab. I knew Don wanted a big family and knowing that I couldn't give it to him, I thought that leaving was for the best." I was confessing everything to them.

"Mac found me at the lab, and suggested a vacation, I had friends in Miami, so I went there to recharge, and well you know the rest." I finished. There was a silence between us, only the sound of me slurping broke it.

"Whose next then?" I asked the question. Lindsey raised her hand, sipping her cocktail.

"I was attacked during high school by my prom date." The revelation in itself made me stare at her wide eyed. By attacked did she mean…

"This guy, he was handsome and smart, anyway he asked me out and I said yes. He picked me up at the right time and everything. After prom he offered to drive me back, I had no idea he'd been drinking. Anyway he parked the car up and well…" she squeezed his eyes shut. I reached out the same time as Stella resting a hand on either of her hands. Lindsey took a deep breath before continuing.

"He tried to… he managed to… and afterwards he went out for a smoke. I closed the door and drove my way back home. As soon as I came back in my momma, she knew, we called the police but I'd washed all the evidence away…" I moved over to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. My heart broke as she told the story. Lindsey always seemed so strong. Then I remembered how she always withdrew when Danny got too close, when anyone got too close. I hugged her tightly.

"That's why I became a CSI so I could help people when, that happens to them. In my first year I was called out to a rape case. It was him, I got all the evidence ready to convict him, and he went down. I didn't get him the first time but I sure as hell did the second time." She said forcefully. Stella clasped Lindsey's hand in hers tightly. Lindsey looked down at her glass.

"That's why ever time Danny gets close to me I run a mile." She confided staring at her hands. I returned to my seat grimly, eyes on Lindsey. I just couldn't believe it, it made sense but it was so hard to believe. She was so strong, so fiercely independent. Lindsey pulled away from us both.

"Well my secrets out." Lindsey said taking a deep breath and releasing it.

"I'm glad I told you guys really I am, it's just only my family at home knows. I'm just glad it was you two." She told us with a tiny smile. I returned it.

"Me too Linds." I replied knocking back my cocktail.

"Well Stella I believe it's your turn." Lindsey said draining the rest of her drink and ordering her round. Stella bowed her head playing with the bottom of her wine glass. I took a swig of my new drink.

"I'm in love with Mac." I spat my drink out, back into my glass choking. Lindsey who seemed lass surprised slapped me on the back. I stared at Stella blankly.

"I thought it was a crush or you just gelled really well together." I burst out. Stella stopped mid drink.

"It's been like this for years." She replied ordering us some shots of tequila.

"After Clare died he crawled inside this shell of Mac armour and he's lived there ever since. By the time he even contemplated dating I was with Frankie." I reached for the shot at the same time as Lindsey as Stella. We kinked our glasses together and knocked them back. The burning liquid infused inside me. It occurred that Stella had been stuck in this rut for years.

"What about Christmas? Anything happen about that kiss?" Stella tilted her head to either side as I ordered more tequila.

"There was a tiny thing on Christmas Day but he said it would affect our work and you know Mac he's all work, work, work." Stella told us, as we knocked it back again.

"You're like that too." I pointed out, slurring a little.

"We all are. Work is important to us all. The point is we all need somebody in the background to keep us steady. Someone to come home too. Mac's the equivalent to a lean, mean, crime fighting machine. He works constantly to rescue the people he feels he needs to be rescued and that's not himself. He doesn't want you to be a replacement for Clare, you and your friendship is too valuable to him." I sipped my beer chaser, breaking off my chain of thought. They stared at me. I shrugged.

"Hey, I spent enough time studying him. Profiling is my specialty and Mac's an interesting subject." Lindsey laughed out loud.

"So that's what your speciality is?" Stella turned her head to Lindsey.

"We've been trying to figure that out for ages."

"I can do a lot of everything." I admitted feeling the full effects of the alcohol hitting me. Stella ordered another round of shots.

"So we all confessed our deepest secrets." Lindsey said, as we picked up the next shots and kinked my glasses together.

"Here's too confessing." I said raising my glass in a toast.

"To confessing."


	59. Chapter 59: The Impossible

Chapter Fifty Nine

_Words on her lips_

_Begin to slip_

_She's losing her grip on herself_

_She said sometimes _

_You're asking yourself why_

_You feel you can't get by_

_You feel your crawling on your knees_

_A voice from inside is telling her lies_

_Her dreams come crashing down like a burning sky at night_

_You can't deny what you have become, _

_It can't hurt you but it can eat you up inside._

_It's tough on a new star_

_If it's not love then it's not enough_

_Sometimes the beautiful will cry_

_Raemonn – Sometimes_

I slouched in my chair, head banging and feeling immensely sick. I sipped the coffee in front of me trying to wake up. The stench of bacon made my stomach lurch.

"What time did you come in?" I asked Flack putting my forehead on my arms and lying face down on the table, I felt more like crap than when I ever drank.

"About four this morning." He said wearily. Something in his voice made me look up at him. I frowned, climbing to my feet, still feeling a little dizzy.

"You sound like you can do with more coffee." I said moving towards him clad in my pyjamas. I put my hand on his back gently and then looked at him properly as he focused all his attention on the plates in front of me. There were three of them.

"You put three out." I pointed out. Flack nodded. I studied him for a second before he caved in. I realized he was sombre.

"Danny's in the spare room. I'm sorry but your place was the closest." He told me, dishing out the food. My stomach wrenched again. I tried to swallow the bile down, whilst rubbing Don's back reassuringly.

"What happened last night?" I asked cautious. Don looked upset.

"They're planning to switch off Louie's life support machine, his progress is deteriorating. Danny's been awaiting news the past few days. He flinches every time his self phone goes." Don explained to me. I tried to take this all in. Lindsey's secret and now Danny's.

"He got trashed last night, I had to bring him back here, he was in no state to be going home alone." Don told me, shaking his head. The sickness rushed back up to greet me coupled with dizziness. The earth swayed for a second. Hand over my mouth I bolted for the bathroom. The spare room door opened as I ran past, slamming the door behind me. I just made it to the toilet bowl. My stomach rolled causing me to vomit directly into the bathroom. After a few seconds, I clambered to my feet, and leaned over the sink clutching my stomach that was now riddled with sharp pain.

"IS she alright?" I heard Danny's voice asking Flack. A gentle tapping on the door followed it. I leaned over the sink, tears running down my face as the pain became more intense. Don stuck his head through the gap.

"Carmen? Shit." He rushed towards me helping me to the floor as my knees buckled.

"Danny, call 911." He yelled. The pain was getting worse now, I couldn't stop sobbing. I heard Danny on the phone. He stepped into the room, kneeling down analysing me, as Don brushed the hair away from my hot face.

"Don…she's bleeding." Danny said quietly. I felt a surge of fear and disbelief run through me as something in my abdomen wrenched. A strange look passed over Don's face as we both realized the impossible.


	60. Chapter 60: Doctor's Report

Chapter Sixty

_I walk these halls_

_In search of sin_

_It drags me down_

_But I won't give in_

_I'm reaching out_

_I need your touch_

_I'm standing strong,_

_But all alone is not enough_

_Reamonn – Come To Me_

His head was tilted back, his eyes tightly closed, organizing the last few months of his life all the time repeating the same thing in his head.

_She can't have kids._

Next to him Danny sat lost in the dark pit that was pulling him even deeper inside. He couldn't escape the idea that bad things happened to people close to him. The evidence was there, wasn't it always…

Don's head snapped forward as the door to the family room was flung open. Stella and Lindsey were followed by Hawkes and Mac as they infiltrated the room. Don watched as Lindsey moved instinctively towards Danny, wrapping her arms around him tightly as he cradled his hands in his hands.

"I'm going to see what I can find out." Hawkes announced before leaving the room abruptly. Stella's eyes were on Don studying him, with a curt nod from Mac she moved towards the unmoving figure.

Don looked up slowly, meeting her eyes as she crouched down in front of him. For a second he looked like a child, hands in his hair.

"She just started bleeding." He mumbled, straightening up. Taking a deep breath, he looked away regaining his posture of a man trying to cope.

The door opened again causing everyone's eyes to go to it, this time Hawkes was followed by a doctor clad in a long white coat. Don was on his feet, alert, arms still folded. Stella watched as his face clouded.

"You're all family?" the doctor asked surprised, his own eyes trailing around the room.

"All the family she's got outside of Portland." Danny piped up; Lindsey's presence had soothed him, and ignited the fire that was Danny Messer.

Don stood still apart from it all, solemn as the doctor looked to him for an answer.

"You can talk in front of them Doc." His voice was low, his stance rigid as he struggled with the torrent of emotions with in himself. The doctor nodded before beginning.

"At the moment Miss Devine is very fragile, she pulled through, but I'm afraid the baby didn't make it." There was a stunned silence all around. Don's head hung low before he responded to the doctor eyes narrowing with a fury and pain that had was rarely seen from him.

"She nearly die Doc?" he asked evenly. The doctor hesitated before replying.

"Her life was in danger…"

"Because of you…because of your mistake, you told her she couldn't have children." His voice was cold, but inside him the anger was mingled with fear and the hurt that came from this situation.

"Don…" Stella cut in. He ignored her, his gaze never wavering from the doctor.

"She nearly died because you told her she couldn't have children. You know how bad that is Doc? Watching someone you love go through that… She was devastated, but she got up and accepted it. Hell she even helped me accept it, and now you're telling me that my girlfriend nearly died because of your mistake and that she went through all that trauma for nothing." Don spat, his fists clenched tightly together, as he struggled to comprehend the news.

"It appears that our diagnosis of that situation was incorrect, her womb was damaged but as it turns Miss Devine is extremely fertile, it would have been virtually impossible for her to get pregnant since her womb was such a delicate environment. Apparently her fertility was enough for an embryo to begin development. She admitted she'd been stressed over the last two days, the stress was the main cause of the miscarriage coupled with the instability of her womb." Don absorbed this explanation, jaw tightening. The room fell silent again. Don closed his eyes, swallowing hard. The news was painful; he hadn't expected this to hurt so much. He choked, and then coughed, trying to hold it all in and failed.

"So you're saying she was pregnant?" Mac confirmed, the doctor nodded his response. Danny's arms were wrapped around himself, he looked hurt, struggling to control his thoughts as things clicked into place.

"How old was the baby?" Don murmured, blinking frequently to push back the tears that were threatening to invade his eyes. Stella put a hand on his arm attempting to reassure him. Don shook her off.

"Two months, she was coming into the third." The doctor replied uneasy. Don closed his eyes and let his knees buckle. He fell into the chair, stunned, his mind to the dates. She'd conceived in the end of September after hearing the news of her inability to bear children.

"We thought she hadn't had a period due to stress." He murmured as he remembered watching Carmen flush each pill down the toilet.

_I don't need them anymore._

It all crashed down, the weight of everything that had happened. He'd been a father…For two brief seconds he revealed in that before it was all snatched away.

"If I hadn't been there…"Don said, his head returned to his hands, as the tears began to besiege him. This time he accepted Stella's comfort as she wrapped her arms around him.

"She said she doesn't want any visitors." The doctor muttered backing slowly towards the door. Mac slipped off his suit jacket and undid the two top buttons of his shirt.

"I'm going to see her." He said in a voice that demanded no arguments. The doctor stared at him. Mac returned the glare full on. The doctor backed down.

"Room 175." He murmured before adding. "I am sorry for your loss."

The words hung in the air as he closed the door behind him; it was at that point that Don Flack tried to pull all the broken pieces of himself back together and maintain the control he so desperately craved.


	61. Chapter 61: A Father's Strength

Chapter Sixty One

_Don't punish yourself_

_Leave it well alone._

_I hope your well_

_And what you've done is right_

_Oh it's been such hell_

_I wish you well_

_I hope you're safe tonight_

_I'm helping it pass _

_By loving you more_

_Dido – Isobel_

Mac approached the door to Carmen's room in silence. Things had happened quickly at a startling pace. He closed his eyes. They didn't deserve this; no one did, but especially not Flack and Carmen. All his team had seen things… Things that they should never have seen. He regarded them as a family. The closest thing he had to a family, his adopted sons and daughters, and Stella his…wife? He shook his head to clear it. He couldn't bear to think about that right now. He had to focus on Carmen. He put his hand on the door handle, and then stopped hearing voices.

"Just let me leave, I don't want to be here anymore." Carmen's voice was loud and shrill; he heard the hysteria lurking there.

"Miss Devine, you can not leave the hospital until your vitals are back to normal. You've taken a massive shock today." The nurse was trying to calm her and Mac knew it was unsuccessful from Carmen's reply.

"You think I don't know that…" her voice was bitter, but the shame in her voice, the pain he could feel it stabbing at him like tiny needles.

Mac chose that moment to open the door. Both heads twisted towards him. Carmen leaned against the bed for support as the nurse stood next to her reaching out to steady her.

"I'll take it from here nurse." Mac said, eyes on Carmen, she looked away without saying anything. The nurse watched the exchange and scurried out without a word to either of them.

I stood, well rather leaned on the bed, hunched over letting out a deep sigh. I willed my legs to move, but the energy had been sapped out of me. I felt weighted down by the guilt and the shame of what happened. As Mac stepped towards me I felt my knees buckle. I let out a tiny cry of disgust at myself as he caught me in his arms. I grabbed his shirt tightly feeling a sob run through me. I didn't want his help. I tried to push away from him, he held me tightly.

"Carmen…come on calm down." I wrestled with him for a second before the remainder of my energy and dignity ebbed away. My forehead rested against his broad chest, as I punched it weakly. The tears slipped out of my eyes as I collapsed against him. His hand went to the back of my neck, as he held me close, soothing me. After a few minutes he pulled away, angling me towards side of the bed.

"Come on let's get you back in there, you need to rest." He said softly helping me swing my legs onto the bed. He pulled the blanket over my legs and up to my stomach. I clenched it tightly in my hands, drawing it up to my chest. I looked at him properly for the first time.

"I want to go home." Mac settled down on my side of the bed, cupping my hand.

"Your not thinking straight." He told me with a grim smile. I closed my eyes, feeling the comfort of Mac's strength. All the time he was there, a rock, someone to catch you when you fall. I lot count of the times he'd been there for me. This was just another, yet this one was different; I felt the bond between us stronger than it was with my own father. I opened up a little.

"I know…One minute I can't have children…" I was staring at my balled fists.

"The next I'm pregnant…I miscarried his baby Mac." A sob escaped me. I gripped Mac's hand tighter.

"I killed it." I whispered. Mac's eyes were on me, his mouth already open, speaking.

"You didn't kill that baby Carmen, you weren't meant to have children you didn't even know you were pregnant…and life…it just got in the way. You can sit there and think abut it all you want but you didn't kill it, nobody blames you. They're worried about you." Mac smiled humorously.

"I've never seen Stella drive so manically to get anywhere that wasn't a sale at Tiffany's before." I wiped the tears that had been brimming way with the back of my hand. Mac looked down at my other hand, the one he was holding tightly.

"I heard this phrase when I was in the marines." He looked at me; I saw affection in his eyes.

"Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I think it applies to the situation right now." He told me. I pursed my lips biting back more sobs.

"You should have seen Don blowing up at the doctor…" he trailed off and then looked me straight in the eye, no lies passing between us.

"How is he?" I asked swallowing hard.

"He's in shock right now. He blames himself for letting you work so hard. He's pretty worried but Stella's taking good care of him." I nodded in response, wrapping my arms around myself. Mac stood up, releasing my hand.

"Can I tell the nurse you're going to stay here and not try and escape now?" I nodded briefly, not sure whether I was ready for the onslaught of people.

"I'll send the others in a few at a time; try not to make it too overwhelming." Mac told me before resting his eyes on me again, his hand on the door handle.

"You can get through this Carmen, you're a strong woman and I know you'll do fine." I gave him a tired smile as he left the room closing the door lightly behind him. I leaned back onto the pillows, looking at my stomach sadly.

He was right I could get through this. I vowed I would get through this, hoping Mac would lend me his strength.


	62. Chapter 62: A Teddy Called Albert

**A.N: The song in this chapter is kind of a summary of how Flack is feeling at the minute inside even though he's trying to keep it all together. I just thought the lyrics gelled really well with the char and the situation.**

Chapter Sixty Two

_And I'll scream these valleys down_

_And I'll wake this mind_

_And I'll make this world turn on it's knees_

_I'll make you mine_

_And when will we learn to see_

_And when will we take defeat_

_And when will we love again_

_You are still out of reach_

_I know this pain inside_

_Will set love alight_

_These feelings burn like coal_

_Reamonn – Out of Reach_

He was staring down at the fluffy teddy in his hands, its beady black eyes staring back. He caressed the soft brown fur with his fingertips. He'd seen it in the gift shop while taking a breather from everyone. Before he'd even realised, he'd paid for it and it was sitting there in his hand looking at him as he waited for the numbness to seep in. It didn't. His eyes blurred for a second, he pushed the well of emotion away. He couldn't face it, not now. It had cut him deep, deeper than he would ever care to admit. He shifted the teddy in his hands unsure of what to do with the thing. A hand enclosed on his shoulder, he jumped startled, reacting on instinct he shoved the teddy inside his jacket pocket.

"I patched up a bear just like it, it was called Albert." Don clamped his lips together, and folded his arms over his chest, eyes going to the scuff marks on the floor as Hawkes spoke.

"You don't have to hide it." Hawkes murmured, stepping into Don's line of sight. His eyes strayed to the little boy playing with the trucks in the waiting room, just before them. He closed his eyes for a brief second, almost choking on the emotions threatening to overcome him. Opening his eyes he saw the little boy was gone. A ghost just like his own child, he thought.

"I don't even know why I bought it." The words slipped out, rolling off his tongue, he tensed his jaw shut, not wanting to reveal anymore. Hawkes put his hand on Flack's shoulder in a gesture of understanding.

"You wanted something to remember it by…It's understandable." Hawkes murmured as an uproar of emotion invaded Flack's body. He couldn't face it, he couldn't talk…

"I'm going the bathroom, I'll meet you back in the waiting room." He managed to get the words out before striding away from Hawkes. He needed a minute just to himself, just to pull himself together.

He found himself hunched over the sink in the bathroom staring at himself in the mirror. The pain, the anger, the guilt, the shame and most of all the fear rose up inside of him. He raised his fist and drove it through the mirror, letting out a roar of anguish as the agony of losing his child ploughed into him. Suddenly his control snapped, and he was hitting the mirror again and again, glad to feel something other than the numbness that had been coursing through him.

"Flack…Don Stop, Don…" Messer's hands were pinning his arms, holding him back as the rage turned to sorrow, and bitter grief. The tears were running from him freely now. The broken sobs erupting loudly as Danny gripped the back of Don's head and pulled him into a brotherly embrace. Don clutched Danny tightly; violent sobs taking over him as he finally cracked and let the flood gates open. Shaking, he couldn't control himself anymore, he was overwhelmed.

Danny Messer simply held Don steady as his heart broke into a million grief stricken pieces.


	63. Chapter 63: New Year's Eve

Chapter Sixty Three

_This years loving_

_Better Last_

_Heaven knows it's high time_

_I've been waiting on my own_

_Too long_

_When you hold me like you do_

_It feels so right _

_Oh now_

_Start to forget how my heart gets torn_

_When that hurt gets full_

_Feeling life can go on._

_David Gray – This Year's Love_

The tension between us was awkward as we strolled through the park, wrapped up in our own winter jackets and scarves. Don buried his nose in his scarf as I looked at my red gloved hands. It was still there lurking between us. I'd been out of hospital for a few days now and every tiny encounter we'd had had been rocky. Both of us were on edge, but we needed to talk to get this out in the open. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault; I knew he was blaming himself. Danny had told me about the incident in the hospital bathroom. His hand was still bandaged from the cuts he got from breaking that mirror. Whenever we got in the same area we didn't mention what it was, that had put us in that position. The baby was unspoken about, and I didn't want it to be like that anymore, I didn't want it to become a secret thing between us. I needed acknowledgment that it happened, yet I wasn't sure whether Don wanted to talk about it. I knew it had cut him deep, as it had me.

Over the last few days I'd been staying with Stella, she'd been a rock for me in all of this, as I knew Mac had for Don. The silence between us was dragging now. I opened myself to speak at the same time as he did. I bowed my head with a tiny smile looking at my hands as he did the same. We stopped walking.

"You first…" I said meeting his eyes with a bleak smile.

"I have a confession to make." He told me looking away. I frowned folding my arms over my chest. As much as I'd been expecting this…I wasn't prepared, too much had happened in such a small space of time. Don folded his arms around himself, stamping in the cold. I could see his breath in the cold air.

"I've been seeing someone…" he coughed. I blinked as he began put his hand over his mouth to stifle more coughing. I let out a deep sigh before replying with my own.

"I understand." And walking away from him. The truth was I didn't understand, I would never understand. I felt like the both of us had been through too much together to throw everything we had away. Saying that something I knew that something like losing a child was enough to make or break a relationship. Right now every time Don looked at me he saw the main reason his child was alive, I thought I could see it in his eyes.

_Turning circles time again_

_Cut like a knife_

_Oh now_

_If you love me_

_Got to know for sure._

The New Years party was held at Stella's place, the apartment was decorated elegantly. I'd arrived on time a bottle of champagne in my hand and smile on my face. Stella pulled me inside, hugging me warmly before taking the bottle of champagne out of my hands and replacing it with a glass of white wine.

"How are you doing?" she asked focusing on me and picking up her own wine glass. I'd strayed at my own apartment for the first time last night since I came out of hospital. I'd just started to find my feet again.

I hid my face in my hair for a second contemplating what to tell her,

"I'm doing ok." I told her honestly, sipping my wine.

"How'd it go with Don?" she asked scrutinizing me. She was after the truth.

"He had a confession to make…" I narrowed my eyes. "He's been seeing someone else."

Stella's eyes widened in shock.

"You're kidding me right?" she said grimacing. I shook my head. Stella's arm slipped around my shoulder, her gaze sympathetic.

"How do you feel about it?" I shrugged, knowing she wasn't going to buy the "ok." card.

"There's nothing I can do about it. I guess it affected him differently than I thought it had originally." I told her honestly, feeling a twinge of resentment. Stella let out a resigned sigh pursing her lips together.

"You've still got us; I guess he just can't face it." She responded thoughtfully. She let out a deep breath, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the throng of people.

"There's a few people here who want to see you." She said changing the subject with a beaming smile. I found myself plonked right in front of Danny and Lindsey. I found myself pulled into a tight hug by Danny who was grinning from ear to ear.

"You're looking good Devine, nice to see you stopped lazing around and got yourself over here." He laughed pulling away as I thumped him in the arm, alarmed by Danny's obvious display of affection.

"What did you do to him?" I gasped at Lindsey as Danny disappeared amongst the crowd to go get us a refill on the drinks. Lindsey sipped her beer.

"He has been drinking. Louie's condition had stabilized again so that's a weight off his shoulders." She told me, I gave her a bright smile.

"That's great news." I exclaimed. Lindsey grinned at me, before looking guilty and touching my arm gently.

"Look, I'm sorry I haven't see you the last few days…" I cut her off before she could continue.

"No, Lindsey I understand, I'm just glad someone was there for Danny." I said quietly that we weren't overheard. Lindsey looked at me deciding something before opening leaning closer to me and opening her mouth to whisper.

"He held himself responsible for what happened to you, he thought the fact he left you to deal with all that work was what made things go wrong." I pulled away shaking my head.

"It wasn't his fault...It was nobody's fault, I think it would of happened no matter what, I wasn't taking care of myself and well…we didn't know…no one did. It just happened." I explained, attempting to abscond Danny from any responsibility.

"I told him that." She confirmed making me feel more settled. I wrapped my arm around her giving her an affectionate hug as Danny returned to us brandishing a bottle of champagne. My bottle, he poured it into our glasses grinning.

"Did Montana tell you about her little trip into the Yankee's changing rooms?" Danny asked, eyes on Lindsey who was blushing.

"Lindsey?" I questioned with a giggle. Lindsey's face went bright red.

"What Montana didn't tell you that she got lost on the way to the crime scene and burst into the locker room mid change?" I let out a shriek of laughter due to the expression on Lindsey's face.

"I take it you saw a little something, something." I remarked trying to keep a straight face and feeling miserably. Lindsey nodded going even redder, setting me and Danny off again.

_Because it takes something more this time_

_Sweet, Sweet life oh now._

We were outside in the street, less than five minutes to toasting the New Year when Don managed to find me in the fray. We found ourselves standing next to each other. I gave him a side long glance, and then reverted to watching the sky. I felt his eyes on me.

"Didn't bring her with you?" I asked bowing my head sadly. Don's eyes traced the side of my face.

"About that…"

_Before I open up my arms and fall_

_Losing all control_

_Every dream inside my soul_

"You don't need to explain it to me I understand." I told him knocking back my champagne. He caught my hand as I went to walk away. The count down was beginning.

"Carmen. Just listen…"

_10_

"I don't need to hear it…" I said raising my head to the sky.

_9_

"I want you to…"

_8_

"So you can tell me it's not my fault you're leaving?" I asked him, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. I tried to pull away from him, tears threatening my features. He grabbed my hand again entwining his fingers with mine, turning me towards him.

_7_

His intense blue eyes caught mine, and I sank into his gaze.

"It's not your fault." He told me quietly, his hand going to my cheek, he looked troubled, and in pain. He looked how I was feeling.

_6_

"It wasn't yours either. I know your blaming yourself." I tried to reassure.

_5_

"You gonna listen to me now?" I tried to yank my hand away feeling a stab of pain. Don held on, tugging me back to him.

_4_

"Don just don't…" I trailed off, tears pinpricking my eyes.

_3_

His arms encircled my waist as he bent his head towards me. I breathed in his scent, my hands tracing his chest through his shirt.

"Just shut up for a second will you?" he pleaded.

_2_

"I'm not leaving you"

_1_

His mouth was on mine tenderly before I could even comprehend the words. I fell into him, his kiss, his hands, responding desperately.

_When you kiss me on that midnight street_

_Sweep me off my feet_

_Singing ain't this life so sweet_

_This years loving _

_Better Last_

I needed him there beside me, always and forever…No doubt surfaced within me, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, giving in to the passion between us both, linked entirely through our hearts and souls.

_This loving _

_Better last_

_Whose to worry…_

_Our hearts get torn_

_When that hurt gets fall_

_Don't you notice life goes on_

As we pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine, promising his love to me. I returned the words before sealing the promise with my own tender kiss.

_This years loving _

_Better Last_

_This years loving _

_Better last._


	64. Chapter 64: Coffee and TV

**A.N: You guys have all been waiting really patiently. SO here's a whole bundle of chapters for you guys. Thanks to all you reviewers. It's been a bit hectic here in R.L. I broke up with my boyfriend, I have tonnes of overtime from work, and I moved back into my house (which unfortunately has no internet, so I'm kind of just typing up stuff on my housemates pc, while she's not here.) Basically R.L took over a little but I've still been writing on paper and let's say Part Six is underway. I will certainly get around to reviewing all your stories at some point. I'll prob go the library and do a massive catch up, so thankies again guys and I'll catch you all soon.**

**Part Five**

Chapter Sixty Four

_Man, it's a hot one_

_Like seven inches from the mid day sun_

_Well I hear you whispering the words_

_That melt everyone but you stay so cool._

_You're my reason for reason_

_Over stepping my cool_

_Santana – Smooth_

Six months later

He was standing there opposite me, hands on his hips, his eye brows furrowed into a deep frown. Both the gun and the badge were on show, I knew I was in trouble, but to be honest I didn't really care.

"Don't make me come over there Carmen." Flack warned. I leaned back in my chair, a smirk spreading across my face. I laced my fingers together staring back at him.

"Like it's me fault your too lazy to come over and get the sugar." I told him, I poured more sugar into my mocha and stirred it slow and deliberate. I raised my eyes and saw the unimpressed look spreading across his face. I rolled my eyes, as he narrowed his eyes reinforcing his posture. Donald Flack was a force to be reckoned with. Then again so was I.

"Bet that works on all your suspects." I remarked innocently sipping from my mocha.

"Give me the sugar." He said putting his palm out enforcing the question.

"Come and get it." I said moving it directly in front of me, and shuffling in attempt to get comfortable in my chair. Flack shook his head, hands brushing his suit jacket back as he returned them to his hips again.

"That's not the deal here Princess." I shrugged at his reply and then sipped from my own coffee cup again. Compromise was not an option here.

"You gonna arrest me Detective?" I teased. A wicked grin crossed Don's features as he strode purposely towards me. Heat flushed through me as he leant over my chair, hands resting on each armrest, his face close to mine, I could feel his breath on my face, and my body responded to his closeness.

"This is about the handcuffs isn't it?" he murmured licking his lips. I closed my eyes remembering the last time he used his handcuffs, and shivered. I opened my eyes in time to feel the cold metal bracelet snap onto my wrist, surprised my eyes went to my wrist as he clipped the other cuff to the arm of the chair. I stared at him open mouthed as he plucked up the sugar and returned to the seat across from the table from me. He opened the paper in front of him and began reading it as he poured the sugar into his coffee.

"Hey." I pulled at the cuff causing it to jangle against the metal of the chair. Flack raised his eyes to mine for a second and put the sugar down.

"I can have as much sugar as I want now, and you can't do a damn thing about it." He told me before returning his gaze to the news paper. I decided to try to reason with him. I held up my wrist with the handcuff still attached to the chair.

"You know Mac's gonna freak if he walks in here and finds me cuffed to this chair." I reminded him; I vaguely entertained the idea of picking the lock of the cuffs with the spoon next to me. Hastily I remembered that:

I don't know how to pick locks, and b) I doubt you could with a spoon.

Don reached over to the donut box and picked up a pink iced one and bit into it, still reading the paper.

"Mac's out at a scene in the Village, multiple homicides in a hotel room." He replied turning the page. Even Mac couldn't save me here. I was growing frustrated and dumb, I could feel myself flushing red at the thought of someone coming in and seeing me cuffed to this chair.

Admittedly it was my own fault.

"Take them off!" I growled, jingling the handcuffs as hard as I could to distract him from his reading.

"Pipe down, as soon as I finish my coffee I'll take them off you." He told me without looking up. He took another bite of his donut, proving his point. Resigned, I leaned back into my chair cursing him under my breath; I hated it when he got the upper hand.


	65. Chapter 65: Bulletproof

Chapter Sixty Five

_Some one told me that love would all save us._

_Well how can that be, look what love gave us._

_And they say that a hero could save us_

_I'm not gonna stand here and wait._

_Chad Kroger – Hero_

The callout was a routine one for Donald Flack, his instructions were simple as always, secure the scene, make way for the crime lab. He'd done it a million times before, as had the man next to him.

Nick Henderson stood next to his partner looking up at the building before stepping inside, two patrol cops following both him and Flack into the warehouse.

Crossing over the threshold, guns drawn both men had to admit that their minds weren't entirely on the job. Only this afternoon, after the coffee charade with Carmen, the chief had collared Flack about testing out a new vest, this one slightly more reinforced than the last one. Reluctant he agreed, Henderson had laughed upon seeing his partner sporting the vest claiming how they never need them. Flack had almost taken it off then, but the better half of his mind had convinced him otherwise.

The moment Flack stepped through the doorway he knew something was off, a scuffling in the distance and then suddenly all hell broke lose, bullets flying from three different points at the group of unsuspecting police officers. Instinctively Don cocked his gun whilst ducking for cover behind a pillar supporting the warehouse. He peered around the pillar, heart pounding as a bullet skimmed past his head. He returned fire instantly not letting the shooter get another round off. His bullets hit home, striking the shooter in the chest before sending him down on the walkway. Don checked his ammo, finding he still had a clip left; he stuck his head out checking the position of the other two shooters, expecting to get a bullet at least coming his way. With a professional precision the patrol cop on the other side off him took the second shooter down before he could fire. Don caught sight of the third, final guy; his gun trained on something on Don's right, for the first time, Don looked over at Henderson whose back was turned as he moved to the rookie who was screaming as his leg poured with blood. Somehow over the gun fire Flack knew he must have blocked out the sound. One single phrase was repeating in his head as he surveyed the scene, his eyes on the shooter's trigger finger. Nick wasn't wearing a vest, he said they itched.

Don dived at Nick, shouting his name; a second later the gun in the shooter's hands went off. Don Impacted with Nick the force of his body knocking him to the ground. Something solid slammed into Don, drawing the breath straight out of his lungs, he couldn't breathe. Almost in slow motion he hit the floor, skidding across the floor clutching his aching chest.

Boom!

His body bucked as another bullet hit.

Boom!

A third directly in the chest, his brain was screaming, he couldn't breath. Pain was rushing through him everywhere but he still couldn't breath. He heard another gun go off, but he was too busy trying to breath. Why couldn't he fucking breathe?

Nick's face appeared floating somewhere above him, he heard the words exchanged above him, snatches of broken sentences.

"Ambulance…Two police officers down…" he found it hard to focus. Nick's face was there again.

"Hey, Don, come on it's going to be alright, come on, just breath with me, nice and slow." Don concentrated on Nick's voice, and suddenly found that he could breath, his breaths were shallow but he could breathe. The panic that had been rushing through him subsided as he found himself suddenly taking massive gulps of air. He raised his head enough off the ground to look at his chest. Three holes, three bullet holes straight in his chest. His head dropped again as he realized that his chest was in fact still aching unbearably.

"The vest caught them; Oh man the vest caught all three." Nick said checking the vest over. Don gave a shaky laugh as Nick breathed a huge sigh of relief, a smile spreading across his face.

"The vest held." He said again as if not believing his friend was actually still breathing. Don had never seen Nick so happy. He tried to move, and found he couldn't the pain in his chest too great.

"Stay right where you are, the ambulance will be here in a few minutes." He opened his mouth to protest, yet no words came out, all he could do right now, was lie here and breathe.

"Man, that vest…you were lucky Don, you were god damned lucky." At that point in time, Donald Flack had to agree.


	66. Chapter 66: Decision of a Lifetime

Chapter Sixty Six

_There is so much a man can tell you_

_So much he can say_

_You remain_

_My power_

_My pleasure _

_My pain_

_You're like a grown addiction that I can't deny_

_Won't you tell me is it healthy baby?_

_Baby I compare you to a kiss from the rose on the grey_

_The ore I get of you strange how it feels _

_Now that your rose is in bloom_

_Your light it's the gloom on the grey_

_Seal – Kissed By the Rose_

I heard his key in the lock. I bolted from my chair into a standing position before I even had time to register my actions. I'd been on the pins and needles ever since I'd heard the call out and heard Nick's words praising Don for saving his life in the lab. I'd stood back, away from it all. I'd sat down in my seat, kept my head down and continued working on my case, blocking the whole thing out. Yet the words "Officers, down." were still repeating in my head. I'd focused on my work, I'd got through the day and then I'd come home and sat in his apartment waiting for him.

He pushed through the door awkward, clutching the shopping bag in his hand; he winced and then raised his head realizing I was there. I darted forward, taking the shopping bag from his hand saying nothing and dropping it to the floor.

"Bruised ribs." Was all he muttered, managing somehow to close the door behind him. I stared at him dumbfounded. Was that all? I thought they'd hit him with three…

"The vest caught them all." He said. I guess he'd read the look on my face. He shuffled around me, without even attempting to look at me a second time, and gently lowered himself to the arm of the sofa, trying to keep his upper body straight. I analysed his face, he was exhausted, but his expression was also cold, he refused to meet my gaze, his hand was resting on his ribs. I knew he was expecting an onslaught from me, he thought I was going to reprimand him, shout and scream for him to quit his job…Just like all the others, but I was different to all the others, I understood.

Instead I took a small step towards him and kissed his lips, slow and deliberate. All the passion intermingled as did the fear, both his and mine, as he pulled me closer with his free hand in my hair. I pulled away slightly, clutching his hand and ever so gently tugging him to his feet. He was looking at me in wonderment as I led him towards the bedroom, to show him how much I really understood.

Flack

He lay there next to her, stroking the hair away from her pale face as she slept serenely in the after glow of their love making. His kissed her forehead, watching the raise and fall of her chest underneath the navy blue sheets. He had no words to describe how he was feeling right now.

Sore was one of them, but the other…? "Completed" maybe?

She'd spoken no words, only responding with her body, he could feel her fear, the desperation running through them both as they tore each others clothes off frantically. Well…she was doing most of the work; his bruised ribs hindered him a little. He'd been expecting the worst when he'd walked in tonight. He thought she'd beg him to leave the job, it had happened before; his girlfriends in the past always did it. The job was too taxing, too personal, inflicted too much on his private life. They all said that. His inhaled the scent of her hair, thinking about how she was different. She was a kindred spirit, like no one else before she got "it".

Leaving the job was never an option, it was never ever going to be an option, she knew that and she accepted it. It was the same for her. His mind drifted, as he remembered the women he had previous dated. He looked at them sometimes, trying to imagine them as a cop's wife, and each time his imagination failed him. They weren't strong enough; they didn't get "it." They couldn't understand what the job meant to him. Looking down at the beautiful woman lying next to him he took solace in the fact that she did. Only someone like her could have that understanding. He liked the fact she saw the dangers, and responded to them in the same way she responded to everything else, she got on with it, she worked through it. He remembered all the run ins she'd had. In the course of over a year of her being in New York she'd had more than enough. The first case they worked on that guy had tried to strangle her, but she'd fought, until the point where he'd intervened she was still fighting. She hadn't wanted the pity that came with the attack, she wanted to excel and, learn and she did, he admired that.

Stobbart was there again in the forefront of his mind, the maniac smile. He'd hurt them both so badly…but through everything, the whole aftermath and most of all, the child they didn't have, they'd still stood together and they were still strong. The baby's death had devastated them both; he knew she still thought about it, still kept her hospital band tucked deep in her purse to remember it by. That tiny teddy he'd bought still lived in the bottom of his drawer, still there, reminding him of the child that God hadn't given them. He sometimes wondered what it would have been like if Carmen hadn't miscarried, what their child would have looked like, they both talked about it a few times, both wistful, yet still hurting. He didn't think that pain would ever go away; they'd both carry it with them for the rest of their lives. He looked down at her sleeping form, watching as she turned over onto her side, pushing her back against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her naked shoulder gently.

He'd gone to the lab after getting patched up at the hospital. Stella had told him she'd already left. His mind went over what else Stella had said. How she'd watched as Carmen upon hearing the call out, had placed her folders down on the table, and with a shake of the head from Mac, telling her it wasn't her call out, and that he needed her there, had picked them right back up again and got on with it.

That's what he needed, he needed someone who would go on if something happened, he couldn't stand the thought of her life being wasted. Sometimes he looked at his mother and wondered how she'd handled it through al these years. He knew that she was strong, she hadn't shed a tear when his father was shot in the back when they were all kids, she'd just been there for all of them, doing what needed to be done, she'd held it all together and helped his father recover.

His lips brushed Carmen's neck as he relaxed around her curled form, remembering how she'd been a rock through the three gruelling months of intensive physiotherapy, and then some more for the time that followed. It had just been over a year now since the night their relationship had began. God she'd looked so beautiful that night. He thought about the trials they'd conquered in the last year and thanked God that the last six months had been kind of quiet…well until he got shot by street punks. His mind drifted to the ring box hidden in the desk drawer in work, locked and hidden underneath a whole host of paper work.

Finally he'd found someone who got "it" And now he realized that he was starting to as well. The shooting had reinforced the thought he'd been having these last few weeks, he just had to figure out the right time to tell her.


	67. Chapter 67: Domestic Bliss

**AN: This song's for Don's sister Maria. I've become quite affectionate on the char.**

Chapter Sixty Seven

_I can't take it_

_What am I waiting for?_

_My heart's still breaking_

_I miss you more_

_And I can't take it _

_The way I could before_

_I hate you but I love you._

_Stacie Orrico – Stuck_

The phone was ringing. My eyes focused on the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock on my side. It was ten past four in the morning and the phone was ringing. I felt Don's warm body shift onto his opposite side. I burrowed further into the quilt as he flicked the bed side lamp on, willing the noise to stop, and it did abruptly, only to be followed by Don's hoarse New Yorker voice answering it.

"Annie!" My eyes flickered wide open, attaching the name to one of Don's nieces. One of the twins. Maria's twins. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes.

"Look Annie just stay right there, don't touch her, no baby…I'm on my way, just stay in living room with your brother and sister ok. Good girl. I'll be right there." He put the phone down and was out of bed pulling on his trousers before I even had a chance to ask. I followed suit, scrambling for my own pants.

"Don?" I asked finding my bra and pulling shirt from the pile of clean laundry I'd left on the dresser. Don didn't even look at me he was buttoning up his own shirt, his face etched with concern.

"That was Annie, she said she woke up and heard shouting, Maria's at the bottom of the stairs and she's not moving, the kids have tried to wake her up but she's not responding. Michael's no where to be seen." My mind went back to that bruise that I'd seen on her at Christmas. Why hadn't I suspected…

I could tell Don was thinking the same. I pulled my shirt over my head and tied my hair back, before grabbing the keys.

"I'll drive." I told him, he stopped and stared me for a second.

"You don't have to come." He murmured.

"Yea I do." I replied before holding the bedroom door open.

------

All the lights in the house were on when we got there. I frowned at Don as he stepped towards the front door. I guess the kids had turned them all on, I guess they felt safer in the light. The front door was left partially open; Don drew his gun as did I before pushing the door open slightly. We'd called in whilst driving here, an ambulance and the police were on its way but our response time would be that little bit quicker.

"NYPD." He called through the open doorway. There was a patter of tiny feet running towards us, both of us holstered our weapons before the kids came hurtling around the corner, all tear stained faces, crying out a chorus of "Uncle Don."

We'd visited a few times recently, they knew us, and they felt safe.

Flack bent down as Sophie ran into his arms, Annie followed close behind holding David by the hand. Sophie and David were hysterical, tears still streaming down their scrunched up faces. I took David from Annie jiggling the toddler a little. Annie's arms went around Flack's neck as Sophie moved away. David's crying was beginning to soften, as he began to pull at my hair a little. I set him down letting him toddle towards his Uncle. I gave Don a meaningful look, as the kids all struggled for the comfort he represented. He nodded gesturing for me to go ahead. Without saying anything I took a step towards the kitchen, and walked through it, towards the stairs. There she was lying on her stomach, dark hair fanning across her back. Even from here I could see she was still breathing. I took a few steps closer remembering that I was taught never to move someone in a position like this, instead I reached forward and checked her pulse. It was steady. She was alive. I spied a small blood pool by her head; she must have hit it on the way down.

"Maria?" I heard Don behind me. I turned suddenly. He shouldn't have to see this; I didn't want him to see this.

"Go back to the kids, take them home, I'll deal with this…I'll stay with her." I said stepping forward to reassure him as he looked past me, his eyes fixed on Maria's immobile body.

"She's breathing, her pulse is steady, I think she's just unconscious, I think she hit her head." I explained to him. Don's eyes didn't stray; I could see him locating Michael in his head. I grabbed his arm firmly, spying the kids creeping towards us, and soon into the viewing path of the still form of their mother. His gaze swept towards them, as Annie took her little brother's hand, no mistaking she was her mother's daughter.

"You take care of them and I'll take care of this." I repeated softly. I heard Don exhale before he bowed his head and nodded.

"You'll call if…" he trailed off.

"I'll call." I told him as the sound of siren broke through the air getting closer and closer.

"Your best get out of here." I handed him the keys, warning him to drive carefully especially in the condition he himself was in. He insisted he would, slipping out of the door with the kids, just as the ambulance crew streamed in followed by Stella and Danny. Danny's eyes followed Don, as they nodded, acknowledging each other. Stella was there in front of me as I stood apart from the scene watching the paramedics set to work on Maria.

"What have we got?" Stella asked her gaze straying to where I was staring.

"Don's sister Maria, he just took the kids home." I explained the rest of the story to her; Stella nodded as I spoke, her eyes going to the stairs studying them for a second.

"I noticed a bruise on her around Christmas." I blurted out, the words hung between us before Stella spoke again.

"You're thinking spousal abuse?" I bowed my head shrugging.

"It's a possibility." I said, Stella didn't need any reminder of this, she knew it all already. She hesitated for a second before looking me straight in the eyes.

"You know I can't let you touch this one right?" she asked me, studying my face. She knew I was like Danny in a situation I was a hot head when it came to people I cared about and they didn't need another situation like the one between me and Danvers over a remark he made about six year old Millie. I nodded my agreement.

"I don't want it; I just want to be here for her." I replied honestly. A small smile crossed Stella's lips. I began to follow the stretcher carrying Maria in it towards the door, before turning back to Stella.

"Keep me in the loop?" I called over to her hopeful. Stella tilted her head arms crossed.

"As much as I can." She said finally. I pursed my lips together before eventually climbing in the back of the ambulance and clutching Maria's hand tightly on the ride to the hospital.


	68. Chapter 68: Being There

Chapter Sixty Eight

_If you want to_

_I can save you_

_I can take you away from here_

_So lonely inside_

_So busy out there _

_And all you wanted_

_Was somebody who cared._

_Michelle Branch – All You Wanted_

The heat in the waiting room was stifling although the air conditioning was on in the hospital. I tilted my head back against the wall, and then snapped it up again, feeling restless. Somewhere in the time I'd been waiting I'd worked out I'd spent about thirty percent of my time in the hospital either waiting for someone or being admitted myself. That's how much I didn't want to remember the image of Maria lying at the bottom of those stairs in my head. The consistent thought of that I of all people should have noticed resounded through my head. I knew that sitting in the apartment taking care of the three kids Don was feeling the same. I pushed the swell of rage that ran through me towards Michael away. He'd left her there, her and the kids. The utter lack of concern pissed me off. The bastard had simply left them there; he hadn't even called an ambulance. I stood up as a nurse I was friendly with called my name. She gave me a warm smile as I rose to my feet.

"So how's she doing Jilly?" I asked Jilly's quick steps through the wards. Jilly came to a halt outside a door and turned to me holding the clipboard to her chest talking in low tones.

"She's stable, she sustained a concussion, and she's gonna have some killer bruising. We're keeping her in over night for observation. I looked over some of her records like you asked; she's been in with injuries consistent with abuse, over the past year. We're talking suspected fractures, even internal bleeding at one point." I wrapped my arms around myself taking this all in. The guilty words were ringing through my head loud and clear, nobody had noticed. All those times she'd told them she'd fell, her patients had done it, and nobody had realized that that wasn't the truth. I let out a deep sigh before responding to Jilly's sympathetic eyes.

"Don's gonna take it hard." She confirmed what I knew had been running through the back of my mind.

"He already hates the fact he couldn't protect his little sister." I admitted. Jilly bowed her head. She'd become accustomed to our frequent visits to the hospital.

"Can I see her?" I asked quietly. Jilly gave me a brief nod before beckoning me through the double doors and down the corridor. We stopped outside a single closed door, the only defined characteristic being the brass numbers on it. Jilly looked at me pointedly as I reached for the door handle.

"Play nice…" she hesitated before smiling sheepishly and turning away. She'd forgotten I was here as a friend and not a Detective. Taking a deep breath I knocked once before opening the door. My eyes fell to Maria, leaning back against the firm white pillow and staring outside through the window that sped across the city. The pitter-patter of rain had just begun to resound from the window. She turned her head to me, eyes darting, a visible sigh of relief flooding from her mouth.

"It's alright, he can't get in here." I murmured, closing the door behind me gently. She struggled to sit up, the dull lamp light from the night stand next to her showed the extent of the bruising down her face. I ground my teeth together choking back a gasp.

"The kids?" she asked her voice teetering on near panic. I moved towards the chair next to the bed.

"Don's taken them to my apartment, we have more space there." I reassured her as she visibly relaxed. She bowed her head and then caught my gaze dead on, after I settled into the chair.

"Thanks, they told me you rode in the ambulance with me." She said gesturing to the door and then resting her hand on the bed. I put my hand over her's, she gripped mine squeezing it gently.

"It was no problem." I told her, holding her hand tightly. There was an awkward silence between us for a few seconds. Both our heads bowed, I decided I had to speak.

"There sending a Detective to interview you, they need a statement." I approached carefully. I glanced up to see her eyes glistening with tears as she nodded.

"You want to tell me what happened?" I asked carefully. She looked away at the window again.

"I fell down the stairs." Maria said softly. I blinked momentarily.

"You're kidding me right? I saw the bruises on your body, the nurse even told me how many times you've been here in the last year, and the only way to get through this is by telling the truth, Maria it's scary, I know it is, but we're here, all of us." I tried to reason. Maria bit her lip defiantly.

"He can't get away with doing this to you, it's not going to get any better if you're going to sit there and take it. Think of the kids. Annie rang Don at twenty past four this morning to tell us that you were lying on the floor unconscious, do you really want your kids to see that happen again, or worse? You're a strong woman Maria you can do this." I told her. I believed in her, I wanted her to believe in herself, I wanted her to do the right thing. How women end up dead from domestic abuse? I didn't want her to be one of those statistics.

"Last summer he was under pressure from work, he lost a high profile case, his job was on the line, he came home drunk..." her eyes focused clearly on mine.

"It was the first time he hit me. I don't think he could quite believe that he himself had done it. He was so sorry, so bitterly sorry and I forgave him, I thought five years of marriage was worth something, I didn't want to throw it away." She was begging me to understand her point of view, and I did.

"What happened tonight?" I asked stroking her hand with my fingers. She closed her eyes for a brief second, before opening them again wider this time. I thought she'd had a revelation.

"We were arguing at the top of the stairs. I…" she frowned as if trying to remember.

"I found lipstick on his shirt…He left his wallet in his trousers once…there were condoms inside." She squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaming out.

"I'm on the pill." She explained. I clenched my jaw feeling nausea shift within me mixing with the anger that was burning inside me. Like hitting her wasn't enough.

"I told him I was leaving; I was sick of the way he was treating me, and that that was the last straw. I remember he hit me across the face. I moved backwards to get away from him, I was shouting, screaming at him, and he was yelling right back at me, and then he just reached out…" she trailed off, bowing her head, hiding her face behind a curtain of sleek dark hair.

"All I remember is waking up here, and the nurse explaining to me, that I was safe, I couldn't remember what happened, it started coming back gradually." She told me, meeting my gaze. I gave her hand a tight squeeze. I could see all the strength that came with the Flack family inside her. I knew she was going to be ok. I could see it in her eyes.

"What will happen now?" she asked me quietly. I decided to tell the truth.

"CSI will process the crime scene, someone will come an interview you, take a statement and see if your story fits with the evidence, they'll ask if you want to press charges against Michael." I warned her. She nodded, and said nothing more. Although I wanted to know I thought I'd pushed her enough as it was.

"Stella Bonasara is great in situations like this…" I told Maria as an after thought. I stood up slowly.

"You have my number, if you need anything, even if it's just to talk, call me. I think your parents are probably on their way already, you know how news travels in the Flack family." She gave me a knowing smile, I was so happy to see her smile. The door opened suddenly making me jump. Stella stepped through the door, her eyes falling on me, eyebrows raised questioningly.

"I was just going." I told her, feeling like a naughty child caught in a bad act. I stepped away from Maria giving her a tiny wave before striding into the corridor and closing the door mellifluously behind me.


	69. Chapter 69: Moving On

**AN: Life has been horrendously busy, seriously you guys wouldn't believe, here's a little taster for the next part, I will get around to read and reviewing but be patient with me!**

Chapter Sixty Nine

_Your love is like religion across in Mexico_

_Oh surrender is much sweeter when we both let it go_

_Let the water wash our bodies clean _

_And the Lord wash our souls_

_Keith Urban – Raining On Sunday_

Around six in the morning I let myself into my apartment to find Don resting on the couch, War and Peace in his hands, he was surrounded by a mixture of multi coloured toys and books. As I stepped through the threshold he rose to his feet letting the novel dangle in his left hand at his side. I turned to close the door as quietly as I could, unfortunately at that moment in time; a gust from an open window caused it to slam shut. I cringed as Don let out a low chuckle. He placed the book on the sofa as I took a deep breath to calm myself. Taking my hand, he started to guide me in the direction of my bedroom. I noticed he'd left the bathroom light on and congratulated him mentally.

We ended up in the bedroom as the sun was coming up, lying side by side, fully clothed on the bed. I explained the story that Maria had told me as best I could. Don was silent all the way through. At the end of it, he said nothing only turning on to his back, his hand straying to his ribs as he winced in pain. I could tell he was piecing it all together, all the stories she'd told, covering the truth up.

"It's not your fault." I told him rolling on to my stomach.

"I saw it too and I didn't think it either." Don let out a deep sigh, his eyes straying to the clock beside him. 6:37am.

"What are we going to do about Michael? He's going to come after her and the kids." Don reminded me. On the way over here, I'd thought this over.

"They can stay here, as long as they want, the girls in the spare and Maria and David double up in here. That's if you don't mind me shacking up with you for a while." I proposed. For a second Flack stared at me, blinking rapidly.

"You sure?" he breathed.

"Yea I am." A smile curved over his lips as he turned back on his side, facing me.

"Then it's settled." He told me reaching over and kissing my lips gently. He then turned to stare at the clock again. It was almost seven.

"I'm on at eight." He moaned as I snuggled up to his warm body.

"You want me to take them to school?" I offered knowing that that thought had been bothering him. He frowned giving me a guarded look.

"I'm on in the afternoon." I reminded him. He studied my face for a second and I realized that it wasn't that he'd been frowning at.

"You sure you're going to be ok with that?" he asked me tenderly. I looked down for a second, a fleeting image of our own ghost child in my own head. I entwined my fingers in his kissing the back of his hand.

"We have to move on sometime." I said softly, resting my head on his chest. Don ran his hand through my hair absent minded.

"There are three of them."

"Trust me I can handle them, if you get your parents to pick them up after school, it'll be fine." I retorted. I curled up next to him debating how hard coping with three kids could be as I went to sleep.


	70. Chapter 70: Enough

Chapter Seventy

_Don't you wanna take her?_

_Wanna make her all your own?_

_Don't you wanna make her?_

_Don't you wanna take her home?_

_Don't you wanna break her?_

_Blondie – Maria_

The morning itself was hectic enough, after making the discovery that the kids wouldn't eat anything that wasn't a cereal called Lucky Charms, and deciding that coffee was not a suitable drink for children, I called Lindsey over to give me a hand on figuring out what I was actually supposed to do with the kids. Together Lindsey and me managed to feed and cloth the children and get them to school on time before she dropped me of outside the station house, in order to give Don our shopping list for tonight, before she returned home to Montana for a few days. I was hellishly thankful that Lindsey had grown up with a consistent stream of small children otherwise I would have been screwed. On top of that Maria had called me this morning stating that the hospital was releasing her. I asked her to meet me at the Labs in order to give her the keys to my apartment.

Stepping into Homicide I was surprised to see it void of people. I frowned, surprised but not entirely shocked; they were probably all out on assignment. God knows that New York never sleeps. I treaded softly towards Flack's desk and took a piece of paper off his desk and began to scribble a note complete with shopping list. I needn't have bothered; his hands were on my hips as leant over the desk. I shivered, biting my lip, but feigning concentration on my note.

"Now Detective remember what happened last time you got me into this position, I don't think the kitchen table as ever seen so much action." I remarked turning to face him. I almost screamed, I stepped back finding myself jammed between the table and O'Brian's body. A large cat like grin crossed his face as he leered at me, resting both hands on my hips still.

"You ever done it in the break room?" he smirked, putting his face closer to mine. I gave him a harsh shove, O Brian didn't even stumble, in fact he barely moved. I felt a mix of fear and fury rush through me.

"Move!" I demanded, narrowing my eyes. O'Brian expression changed a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"But Devine I've just got you all to myself, they're all in a progress meeting. It could last for half an hour; we've got plenty of time."

In half an hour O'Brian could do a lot to me and with the panic that was erupting in my chest, and the way he was eyeing me up, there was no way I was going to get out of this unscathed unless I made the first move. He leaned forward, licking his lips, pressing his body against mine. I did the only thing I could.

I kneed him straight in the groin.

As he bent over clutching himself, I pushed him away from me and rushed around him without looking back. As I ran down the corridor I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. I didn't stop until I made it to the elevator, jabbing the button furiously until the doors closed. Exhaling, I realized that I was shaking. I closed my eyes for a second and put my hands over my face, trying to calm myself.

I couldn't believe it; I still couldn't believe that he'd just done that.

The remarks, the little digs, the rumours, I'd suffered with dignity, but he'd actually… The panic was subsiding now, replaced with a cold quiet fury. I wasn't going to put up with this anymore, I was sick of this. As the lift doors opened I was aware I'd already made the decision to launch a complaint against O'Brian. I wanted his badge.


	71. Chapter 71: On the Defensive

Chapter Seventy One

_Because I'm just a soul whose intentions are good _

_Oh Lord please don't let me be misunderstood._

_Santa Esmeralda – Don't Let Me Misunderstood_

The first person I saw when I stepped into the reception area of CSI was Maria. The bruises on her face showed more prominently than the night before, she gave me a warm smile and a friendly wave.

At least she was healing. I told myself unable to resist a tiny smile back at her even though my nerves were taunt. My muscles began to relax a little knowing I was at a safe haven. I watched as Maria's expression changed into one of pure disbelief as she focused on something just behind me. Perplexed, I glanced over my shoulder following the direction of her gaze.

Shit.

Close on my heels Maria's husband, Michael was entering the building and he did not look happy. In fact he looked as though he'd been drinking, his short blond hair was scraggy, sticking up at all angles, his eyes were red and bloodshot, to prove my theory he lurched towards us swaying. I twisted my body towards him, into a defensive posture in front of Maria.

"I'll take care of this." I muttered, intercepting Michael as she strode towards us.

"Where are the kids Maria?" Michael bellowed through reception causing a wave of silence to settle across the room. I knew people's eyes were on us. Michael didn't care and neither did I. Michael tried to step around me I moved with him, putting my hands in front of me.

"Michael it's in your best interests to leave here right now." I warned him calmly. Without warning Michael's beefy hand connected with my shoulder shoving me away from him. I almost stumbled but regained my balance in time to see him lunge at Maria hands reaching for her. I didn't think, I was already throwing myself at him. We connected mid air, pain shot through me as I hit the floor landing on my shoulder and sliding a little, Michael landing a long side me. I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the fresh pain along my right side. I caught sight of Maria edging towards the reception desk as the receptionist picked up the phone to hopefully call security.

Smart girl.

"I really didn't want to do that Michael, trust me, its best if you leave now." I tried again, as Michael clambered to his feet, as he rose his head towards me I saw that any attempt at talking wasn't going to work, he was drunk and by the look of it in rage. Men like Michael were unreasonable, especially in this state, but all the time my conscious was telling me to try. I opened my mouth as he swung his fist at me, I saw it too late, I couldn't move my head away in time. Red hot pain erupted in the side of my face as his fist glanced off my jaw. I tilted my head back at him as he swung for me again. My body responded automatically, my self defence training breaking through the surface. I grabbed his arm and twisted into his body, managing to flip him over my shoulder. The thud of him hitting the floor echoed through the silent room, as did his cry of rage and what I hoped was pain, a hell of a lot of it.

"What the hell is going on here?" My gaze went from Michael who was still sprawled on the cold marble floor to Mac who'd barked the question. I froze seeing the expression on his face. The adrenaline was draining out of me, my feeling in my face returning to me, my jaw and cheek stinging like a bitch. I could see security coming to a halt behind Mac. Mac's eyes burned with something I hadn't seen before. Our gazes locked, I looked away first as Michael stumbled to his feet.

"I want her badge." He yelled pointing at me.

"I want her fired for this." His screams echoed around the murmurs that were beginning to penetrate the room. I snorted, shaking my head, eyes on Michael.

"Like hell you will." I retorted, not flinching as he took another menacing step towards me brandishing his fist. I raised an eyebrow, slightly amused. I would of loved to have seen him hit me in front of Mac.

"I'm launching a complaint about you." Michael bellowed at me. I tilted my head defiant and calm, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm sure you will. In fact I have no doubt about it." I told him. Mac was suddenly in between us, his gaze on me, his eyebrows knotting. I felt the sheer coldness of his gaze hit me.

"I'll deal with you in my office." Mac spoke without shifting his gaze. I bowed my head, staring at the ground, a bitter smile crossing my face. I nodded my reply, before stepping around him and towards the elevators. I glanced up seeing Stella hovering near Maria protectively, like a beautiful guardian angel. Content knowing that Maria was in good hands I jabbed at the elevator button, mind becoming buried in the ever growing well of frustration of the past few hours.

"Give me one good reason not to take your badge Devine." Mac's voice thundered through his office and I suspected the labs. His gaze was on me hard and intent. I met it evenly, unwilling to look away. The moment I did, it meant giving in, and that wasn't me. There was an uneasy silence as we both sat opposite each other not breaking a sweat. Mac was on his feet suddenly looming over me, palms down on the desk.

"One good reason." He repeated. I didn't turn away.

"He attempted to attack Maria; I was defending her and myself." I gestured towards my face. Mac's eyes flicked to my left cheek, then back to my eyes.

"He's launching a complaint against you." Mac's voice was the same as before, making me feel like the bad guy. I snapped, I found myself on my own two feet.

"I warned him Mac, I warned him and after neutralizing him the first time, I warned him again, I tried to walk away but he didn't. He was a potential danger to the people we spend our lives trying to protect." I took my badge off my waist and slammed it on the desk in front of Mac, sliding it towards him.

"I joined the police force to get justice for those who couldn't fight for themselves, he wants my badge that much, here you go take it, I'd rather quit than feel like I'm not supported in an opinion I thought that the whole force shared." I pulled back, staring at him, arms crossed.

"Get off your high horse, take the badge back and sit down, I'm not firing you." Mac told me settling into his chair and shoving the badge back towards me. I picked it up and studied it for a second, feeling my temper beginning to subside.

"The department is going to back you; we have a whole bunch of witnesses willing to aid your side of the story." Mac said shuffling some of the files in front of him. I stared at him unblinking.

"IAB will be investigating this matter obviously; they take complaints like this very seriously especially ones from prestigious lawyers. They'll call you in tomorrow probably to take a statement; mean while your on desk duty." Knowing this was protocol I said nothing to protest. Reading through the report in front of him, he glanced up a few minutes later he looked up reasonably surprised to find me still sitting in the office with him. He lowered his gaze again.

"Anything else?" he asked, before raising his eyes to me. I leaned forward elbows on my knees; I rested my face on my knuckles.

"Actually I have a compliant of my own to make."


	72. Chapter 72 : Sparing

Chapter Seventy Two

_You want me _

_Then come on and break the dark down_

_You want me_

_Fucking come on and break the dark down_

_I'm ready_

_I'm ready_

_Radiohead – Talk Show Host_

By the time the end of the day came about, I'd filled out a large extensive amount of paper work. The rage over O'Brian still simmered underneath the surface of my skin. Mac was very tactfully handling the compliant I'd made so there was nothing for me to really do. Feeling the need to work off some steam before going home I grabbed my gym bag and headed down to the gym to beat the crap out of something.

The punch bag swung away from me as I let out a shout of frustration, battering it again, sweat running down me.

"Hey Devine; I'm seeing anger management isn't working out for you." I rolled my eyes at the sound of Danny's voice and turned to face him, hands on my hips. I watched for a brief second as he pounded the unliving shit out of the punch bag in front of him.

"You too Messer." I returned brushing the hair that was plastered to my forehead away from me. Danny gave me a grin, his eyes straying to my face, before it turned tempestuous.

"Michael do that to you?" he asked tightening his boxing glove some more, his eyes still on me squinting. I nodded in response before looking at him pointedly.

"I see you picked up a few new moves Messer." I remarked as Danny lashed out at the punch bag. He didn't look up; I could tell something was bothering him.

"You too Devine." He muttered, punching the bag, this time harder, his focus on one point on the bag.

"You got something on your mind Danny? Missing Montana maybe?" I asked, frowning a little at his energetic spry of blows raining down on the punch bag.

"She only left this morning; she'll be back within the week." I reminded him. Danny simply hit harder. I could see Lindsey Monroe going home was a sore point. Danny stopped hitting the punch bag and gave me a wide grin.

"I'll tell you what Devine, you take me on, a little sparring match just like in college and I'll tell you all about it." I felt my own grin spread across my face. Our sparring matches in college had been legendary. Fighting Danny was better than any punching bag; he kept me thinking on my feet. I'd missed them.

"How about a wager?" he added. I raised an eye brow, but my smile got bigger. With that incentive I can't turn down the challenge.

"Twenty bucks says I got you beat." I replied as we moved towards the mats. I found myself standing across from Danny, glad the gym was empty. We both began to circle; I watched Danny's posture for an opening.

"So I heard you landed him on his back in the middle of reception, nice move." Danny complimented before swinging at me, I ducked under his arm, and jabbed at his open right side, before pulling back.

"Lucky shot." He muttered. I lashed out a kick at his side. He ducked as it sailed over his head, throwing me off balance with the lack of connectivity I'd been bracing myself for. Danny aimed a punch at me; I managed to block it with my forearms. Danny didn't let up. He had me caught on the defensive; I took a chance and grabbed his wrist, twisting into him, attempting to use the same manoeuvre I used on Michael. Unfortunately Danny was prepared; he encircled my throat with his free arm, getting me in a neck lock. Our bodies pressed together I struggled with him for a few seconds.

"I think I got you here Devine…" the breath rushed out of his lungs as I drove an elbow into his ribs. I grabbed his arm and attempted the failed manoeuvre again, this time with relative success. He yelped as he hit the floor. I leaned over him, a grin crossing my face. I stretched out a hand to help him up.

"I think that's twenty bucks you owe…" he yanked me down, sweeping my feet from under me. He grabbed my right arm for an arm lock as soon as I struck the mat. I responded by throwing my leg over his waist and throwing my weight into rolling him onto his back. Gaining the upper hand, I found my face close to his, both of us panting. I jammed my arm against his throat, with relatively low pressure.

"She's bringing home a guy." He seethed, surprising me by knocking the elbow that had been supporting my weight with his own. I slid to the left; Danny gave me an extra shove as he climbed to his feet. I lay there on the mat for a second before springing to my own feet.

"What guy?" I asked, wincing as Danny's fist glanced off my ribs.

"Your guess is as good as mine." He muttered, just before my kick caught him in the chest. The kick itself wasn't powerful, but Danny did wobble for a second. By now we had pretty much both worked up a good sweat. I could feel my concentration drifting a little.

"Why are you so bothered if you don't even like her in that way?" I asked, circling again, eyes on Danny's movements. He shook his head.

"I'm just protective over her you know?"

"Uh huh." Like hell did I believe him. He rushed me. I dropped down, grabbing the collar of his grey tee-shirt, foot on his chest; I helped him over my head. He rolled before collapsing next to me on the mat. I didn't move from my lying position, breathing heavily.

"So your not in love with her?" Danny snorted, turning his head towards me, panting. I tilted my head to the ceiling, and starred at it for a few minutes. Silence washed over the two of us as we tried to catch our breath.

"Truce…" I murmured before returning my gaze to Danny, who was also looking at the ceiling.

"Truce." Danny agreed unmoving.

"You're good." I told him, facing the ceiling again and admiring the parts the painter had missed.

"You're not so bad yourself." He returned.

"You think we're getting too old for this?" Danny asked me. I frowned not liking it.

"No…we're both still learning, look at Mac, he's still versatile." I pointed out. I looked at Danny studying the side of his face for a second.

"You do know this guy is probably just a friend." Danny said nothing and rose to his feet; he reached out a hand to help me up. I took it gratefully as he tugged me to my feet.

"I think I have bruises over bruises." I complained as we walked towards the changing rooms. Danny rolled his eyes.

"I've got no sympathy for you Devine." Danny laughed before adding.

"You and Don ever spar like this?" I shook my head.

"We're a lot wearier of the damage we could do to each other. The pinning is a little more interesting though." I said with a shameless smile. Danny chuckled a little in the doorway of the men's changing rooms before waving me off with the comment.

"I'll catch you tomorrow Jackie Chan."


	73. Chapter 73: Tough Love

Chapter Seventy Three

_The sun lights up the day time_

_And the moon lights up the night_

_Mine light up when you call my name_

_Because I know your gonna treat me right_

_And you give me fever_

_When you kiss me_

_Fever, when you hold me tight_

_I say fever, in the morning_

_And fever all through the night._

_Otis Blackwell – Fever_

My entire body was aching by the time I made it back to Flack's apartment. I also noticed that I was beginning to smell a little. I hadn't had time to shower before I left the gym. As I pushed open the door I raised my gaze, startled to see Flack pulling on his suit jacket. Our eyes met as I closed it behind me. I watched him exhale for a brief second, shaking the jacket back off now.

"I was about to go out looking for you." He told me half serious. I dropped my gym bag on the floor.

"I got caught up in a sparring match with Danny; I had to work off a little steam." I said raking my lank hair away from my face.

"I heard you got into a fight today." Flack said stepping towards me, his clear blue eyes studying the side of my face.

"I took care of it." I told him, relaxing as he reached out a hand, caressing my tender cheek gently with his hand, fingers tracing the bruised side of my face frowning.

"He do that?" The quiet concern in his gruff New Yorker voice made me smile. I rubbed my face against the palm of his hand, closing my eyes and letting out a sigh of contentment, before kissing the underside of his wrist.

"He got off worse." I replied opening my eyes and searching his. A small smile crept across his face.

"So I hear." he murmured, sidling closer to me. His hand rested on my ribs, I winced, he pulled away gently, lifting the hem of my top to inspect the damage.

"Danny got a few lucky digs in…" My breath left me as Don's lips began to kiss their way up my ribs. I shivered, relishing the feeling for a second be fore pulling away. He clambered to his feet raising an eyebrow in question. My face flushed.

"I need to shower before you come anywhere near me again." I explained. Don's grin got wider as he leaned in closer to me in a low tone.

"Your only going to be getting all sweaty again anyway." He murmured, hands on my hips, lips brushing my neck. I blushed pulling away trying to escape his grasp.

"I'm aching all over." I whined. Don grinned mischievously, before taking my hand and tugging me in the general direction of the bathroom.

Shutting the door behind us, He reached over to the shower and turned it on full blast, with full heat. Steam began to flood the room. He kissed my lips softly before leaning back slightly, and pulling at my shirt to get it over my head. The shirt dropped to the floor. He gave me a wicked grin, gently trailing his fingers along the outline of my arms, sending a shiver of pleasure through me. He tilted his head down, lips brushing mine softly. Desire ran through me as Don lifted me onto the bathroom counter and began to kiss me more furiously, his hands in my hair. I bit his lip, he tensed against me moaning. My fingers made quick work of shirt, undoing each button hurriedly, and impatient. Flack's kisses were becoming more and more demanding, as I guided the shirt from his shoulders.

"I need you right now." I told him, as he nuzzled my neck, teasing me as his hands undid the cord tying my jogging pants together. I reached for his belt buckle of his suit pants. His skilled hands ran down my bare legs as he slid the jogging bottoms off with my shoes and socks, leaving me in my royal blue bra and panties. Thank God I matched today. He cupped my face in his hands with a sinful smile; my arms went around his neck, drawing him closer. I was lost in the moment, unable to pull away from ocean of his eyes.

"Here or the shower?" he murmured, his face showing all the wicked things that he was thinking. I wrapped my legs around him, my lips caressing his collar bone before replying.

"The shower."


	74. Chapter 74: IAB

Chapter Seventy Four

_I'm not sorry_

_About the way that things went_

_And you'll be happy _

_And I'll be forsaken_

_The Cranberries – Not Sorry_

I walked to the soundproof office feeling confident. I held my head high, defiant even. Dressed in my best black trouser suit I knew I looked a million dollars, bruising on my face aside.

The image of Don peering up at me from bed this morning returned to my mind. His lazy grin as he threatened to drag me back into it unless I left that minute still made me smile. The noise of my heels clicking in the corridor bringing me closer and closer to that door ebbed away the positive ness within me as the consequences of my actions began to weight heavily upon me. As I reached the door, I realised that my career was at stake here, my reputation. Michael was a high powered lawyer; I'd flipped him onto a marble floor in the middle of reception in front of crowd of people.

He attacked you… you had no choice. Maria's words were ringing in my ears. She was safe; Stella had ensured that while I was in Mac's office. I defended a victim; I did the best I could. Michael had been raging drunk, out of control.

I twisted the door handle stepping into the office. The head of the man in front of me shot up, analysing me.

"Detective Devine?" he was a soft spoken Asian man. I nodded, letting out a deep breath, closing the door behind me.

"Detective Wu." He stated rising to his feet and putting his hand out to shake mine as I approached the table weary. His squeeze was a little too hard for my liking. Still I took it gracefully. He gestured to the seat behind me. I took it, feeling even more nervous. Wu took out a tape recorder and placed it on the desk between us both.

"This conversation is going to be recorded." I nodded my reply before he flicked the tape recorder on.

"Explain what happened regarding Michael Vermont yesterday." I took a deep breath steeling myself before detailing my story. Through out my retelling I felt Wu's eyes on me; he spoke no words simply nodding for me to continue when I hesitated. All the time I felt on edge, but I pushed forward knowing that I had to show confidence in my own ability to prove that I thought my own judgement was clear. I handed the facts to Wu as if on trial and at the end of it all, he leant forward elbows on the desk studying the paper work in front of him.

"Michael Vermont states that you initiated the violence, if his complaint goes through, a black mark will be filed on your record, and you'll very likely be suspended, your career as a police officer could be ended. Do you understand this?" I nodded, before waiting for him to continue. Wu eyes returned to his paper work.

"He dictates that he approached his wife to simply talk to her, when you attacked him, causing a scuffle in which he defended himself, resulting in an abuse of your police and self defence training and an injury to his back, apparently his spinal column was jarred, he'll suffer a few days of pain but otherwise he'll be fine." Wu leaned back in his chair, his eyes studying my face.

"The point is Detective Devine, is that you caused that injury to Michael Vermont, he claims with no provocation…" I gave Wu a grim smile, resting my elbows on the desk and clasping my hands together in front of me. I raised my head to let him get a better look on the bruise marring my features.

"He claims I punched myself in the face?" I asked with an element of humour. For a second I thought I saw a ghost of a smile on Wu's lips, and then nothing. His face was a clean slate displaying nothing.

"He claims you received the injury while he reacting in self defence." Wu told me. I see Michael had been working on his story. Lawyers were sneaky bastards.

"He says you lunged at him as he was moving towards his wife." I crossed my arms over my chest and frowned, feeling suddenly defensive.

"He was airborne as I hit him." I clarified.

"You're trained to neutralise situations like this, as a police officer it's your duty." Wu told me, his voice toneless. I frowned at him, searching his face for a sign of anything that would give me a clue what to say next. My temper was mounting, but I couldn't afford an outburst. Not here.

"I did neutralise the situation, Michael Vermont was attacking a civilian, a woman who is pressing charges against him for spousal abuse. Our job is to protect and serve. I was protecting Maria. I wouldn't have responded in a physical way if there wasn't a physical threat as it turns out there was." I struggled to defend myself, my voice raising. Had I reacted too harshly, too quickly? I couldn't lose faith in myself, not now. Wu closed the file in front of him, his eyes searching my face before he started to talk.

"I think it's only fair to tell you that, the witness accounts of the event are in your favour, I can't see any reason to take your badge away from you. As far as I can tell you reacted in a quick and effective way, protecting a victim from the threat of potential violence. Personally I commend what you did but..." Wu shrugged.

"This report has got to go through to the higher ups and the final decision is theirs." I found myself speechless at his astonishing revelation of honesty. A wide smile curved across his lips, as he opened the next file.

"You seem surprised Detective Devine that I'm expressing my opinion." He murmured, glancing at me. I crossed my legs feeling a little more comfortable and settled.

"I didn't expect anyone to commend the way I reacted, I'm just a little thrown at the sudden turn around of personas." I confessed. Wu bowed his head.

"You're a good cop Devine, your record glows; you have commendations longer than my arm. Even in your personal time you're constantly on form. it would be a shame for the NYPD to lose such a committed officer." I blushed furiously at the unexpected compliments. I had no time to thank Detective Wu because he was already conducting the next stage of our interview.

"I can see you have a compliant of your own to make." He said reading through the scrawl on the file in front of him. I bowed my head looking at my hands. There was silence between us for a few seconds. I decided to fill it.

"There were no witnesses to the event…" I told him wrapping my arms around myself. Detective Wu's expression changed as I said this, he held up a hand to silence me.

"Obviously you haven't been informed on the status of this complaint?" I raised my eyes to him confused and suddenly suspicious again. Wu's eyes were on the file in front of him as he spoke.

"Detective Henderson has come forward issuing a statement, saying he witnessed the event from the kitchen area of the offices." My mind went back to the layout of the homicide offices. The kitchen was to the right of me. It was plausible that I was too wrapped up on what was happening with O'Brian to not realize Nick was standing there.

"He also backed up some of the complaints you made about comments Daniel O'Brian has been making towards you." I stared at him stunned; it had never crossed my mind that Nick would have blown the whistle on O'Brian. Nick had been protective of me since the whole coffee shop fiasco, but he'd never stepped in, knowing I could handle the snide comments myself.

"Mac Taylor has also informed us of the situation that occurred last September, he told us about O'Brian's been making trouble for you and Detective Donald Flack." I bowed my head at the mention of Flack's name and nodded.

"All I need from you Detective Devine is a statement detailing the specific events and then we can investigate the compliant quickly and quietly. Your name won't come up in correspondence to this and neither will theirs." Wu told me, his eyes concerned and gently.

Did I want to do this?

Did I really want Daniel O'Brian to lose his job?

My mind went back to all those snide comments, the rumours, the shots at me and Don. I didn't want my personal feelings to get in the way of making this decision.

He had railroaded my case to get to Don, yet he had stopped me decking Danvers and almost losing my badge.

Did he deserve to lose his job?

He hadn't cared about the case or those kids. The moment we were outside that interrogation room he was at me again trying to get me to have a drink with him. I had the suspicion that O'Brian hadn't cared for a long time.

"Where do you want me to start?" I asked Detective Wu finally.

-----------------

I walked into the busy homicide room, a small gift wrapped box tucked under my arm, a grateful smile on my face. Don stepped towards me, slipping his paperwork back onto his desk, the eyes on the gift wrapped cookies under my arm.

"Hey princess, you looking for me?" he asked, arms wide, a boyish smile curved across his face. I shook my head and nodded at Nick, whose head was bowed low as he read the papers in front of him, at his desk.

"I'm looking for the hero of the hour." I teased Don darting around him and progressing slowly towards Nick, arms wrapped protectively around the cookies as I did so.

"Hey. I'm a hero too." Don called after me. I didn't have to turn around to know he was giving me a sulky pout.

I put down the gift wrapped cookies and slipped them into Nick's viewing space. He peered at them for a second, before his eyes traced up from the cookie box and up to me, with a good natured smile on his face.

"Thank you." I murmured. Nick's eyes studied my face, searching for good news I thought. Nick stood up, before picking up the cookies and ruffling my hair affectionately.

"Your welcome kid." He said before walking away. I turned around to see Don leaning on his desk, vibrant blue eyes searching mine, arms crossed. He looked intrigued.

"I miss something?" he remarked, it was more of a statement than a question. I bowed my head before opening my bag and taking out another box of cookies and handing them to him with a content grin.

"I got you your own." I said, loving the joy on his face. He took the box from my hand and tore it open, offering me one first. God I loved that childlike innocence he had sometimes. I took a cookies and bit into it, munching on it happily.

"I take it IAB went well." Don began his tone even, yet I was aware of his eyes on me cautious.

"Both compliments are pending but they look as if their going in my favour, Nick backed me up on O'Brian." I told him, freezing suddenly, remembering that I hadn't told Don about O'Brian. I saw Don stop mid chew. His gaze on me, something I was unsure of bubbling beneath the surface. Before he got a word out, I started to explain. At the end of it Don's face had clouded.

"And you didn't tell me?" he pressed with a pointed look and hands on his hips. I matched his stance.

"You didn't need anymore on your plate; you had all that stuff with Maria and the kids, and your family. Besides I can't rely on you all the time, it was my problem and you would have got yourself fired for hitting him, and no one wants that." I said putting my arms around his waist. I heard him sigh knowingly as he slipped his arms around my shoulders.

"No surprises next time." That was a statement I couldn't disagree with, considering Don's honesty.

"Only good ones." I promised.


	75. Chapter 75: Lucky Night

Chapter Seventy Five

_My love for you is better than diamonds_

_Kiss me and tell me it's not broken,_

_Kiss me and kiss me til I'm dead_

_See I give you the stars from the bruised even sky_

_And a crown of jewels from your head now_

_Mundy – To You I Bestow_

"Hey Lindsey, your looking great, how was Montana?" I asked spotting Lindsey whilst routing through my evening bag to retrieve my tiny lip gloss I know I'd put in there. She was on her way into the lab as I was leaving the locker room. Lindsey gave me a warm smile as my eyes strayed to the tall, attractive sandy haired man next to her. This guy was definitely not Lindsey's brother. I suddenly felt a little bad for Danny and very glad he'd been drafted into doing the earlier shift.

"Carmen Devine, this is Francois, he's an old friend from an exchange programme we had in college." I reached my hand out to shake his. To my surprise he took my hand brought it to his lips gently, his eyes on my face the entire time.

"My pleasure." He murmured with a soft French accent. I felt myself flush bright red as he did it. Lindsey rolled her eyes as Francois pulled away and punched him in the arm.

"She's not even your preference so stop showing off." She scolded him. I was a little taken back by her words, but ignored it out of courtesy. Lindsey looked me up and down, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive manner at my attire. Dressed in a strapless midnight blue dress that gradually spilled outward as it progressed downwards, and matching shoes I knew I looked hot. I rarely wore a dress but Flack had sprung a surprise and the only thing even half decent was this dress. Besides I wanted to look special tonight. I'd even applied to make up hence the search for lip gloss, which I still hadn't found yet.

"Your looking hot, you going some place nice?" she asked with a wide grin. I opened my mouth to answer only to be cut off by the sound of Flack's voice.

"Hey Devine, you gonna hurry it up a little, we got reservations you know." It was my turn to roll my eyes as Flack moved towards us, a very impressed grin on his face. Flack's tough New Yorker accent was a vivid contrast to the soft spoken French man. I wondered how this would go down between them. I was even more intrigued about how it would go down between François and Danny. Francois's expression was amused as Flack strode purposely towards us.

"Hey Linds, whose your friend?" Flack asked, sticking his hand out in a friendly gesture towards Francois. I was stunned to see Francois grab Flack's hand and raise it to his lips as he had done with mine.

"You didn't tell me you had such handsome men in New York." He said to Lindsey, yet his eyes were still on Flack who seemed to be frozen in place, an unsure grin stuck on his face. I pursed my lips stifling a laugh as Lindsey's own smile grew.

"Sorry Francois, this one's taken." I laughed as Francois released Flack's hand. Francois pouted playfully, and suddenly Lindsey's earlier comment made sense.

"It's such a shame." Francois tutted shaking his head. Meanwhile Flack's grin was still spread across his face unmoving. I thought he was in shock. I gave Flack a playful shove in the direction of the door.

"Well it was nice meeting you…I'm sure we'll be seeing you around." I said guiding the still stunned Flack out of the double doors by taking his hand.

"That's the guy Danny was worried about?" he said eventually, jerking his thumb at the doorway to the lab.

"See I told you he had no reason to worry." I reminded Flack, resuming the search for my lips gloss in the darkest realms of the evening bag. Flack snorted.

"Oh no, now he just has a different reason." Flack sniggered as the elevator doors closed behind us.

-------------

We were walking back from the restaurant and up the flight of stairs to Don's apartment. As I stopped outside the door, Don tugged my hand signalling for us both to climb higher. Without any explanation from Don, I found myself leaning my forearms on the ledge, and staring at the view of the city in front of me. Kicked my shoes off, I found the feel of the concrete soothingly against my aching, stocked feet.

"It's breathtaking." I complimented, entirely awed by the gorgeous skyline in front of me. Don was standing a little away from me leaning on his elbows and looking dead ahead.

"You see that light over there." He pointed at a small familiar collection of lights.

"Yes."

"I think that's the crime lab." He said with a tiny smile. I nodded my response feeling the wind rustling my hair.

"I come here to think sometimes, you know reflect on life. I've been doing that a lot since the blast." He confessed. My eyes were on the profile of his face. He bowed his head looking down for a second. There was silence between us. I looked down at the people below us before staring out at the landscape.

"Should I be worried?" I asked seriously clasping my hands together. Flack let out a sigh before bowing his head again turning his body to face me full on. I swallowed hard. This did not sound good.

"It depends how you feel about moving in with me." I blinked momentarily, mouth dry. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"You know, unless you don't want to. Otherwise I'm gonna be lying on the picnic blanket around the corner and drinking that bottle of champagne myself, and that's not a pretty sight princess." I put my hand against my forehead with a humorous smile before moving up to him while he rambled. My arms looped around his waist as I rose on tip toes to kiss his lips tenderly.

"I would love to Don." I murmured, kissing his lips a little more demanding this time, he responded fiercely. I pulled back a little.

"But you do know we're gonna have to get a bigger place. Your apartment's not going to handle all your books, and my…well…my life, and Maria's living in mine. Your one bedroom place isn't really going to handle us…living together." Flack had scooped me up into his arms now and was carrying me towards the picnic blanket, making noises that told me he was agreeing with what I was saying but it was getting increasingly hard to tell, especially since he was now kissing my lips and stifling my words. He set me down on the blanket and uncorked the bottle of champagne and poured it into two glasses, and then handed me a glass. He set his own down after we toasted and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I love you, you know that? You're amazing." I set my own glass down and kissed his nose softly.

"Why else would you be dating me?" I quipped. Flack laughed and then leaned over to kiss me again.

"Because your so damned hot." He murmured against my lips. I felt heat rise in me as he moved on top of me, his lips demanding. I moaned into his mouth feeling his hands caressing my legs as he slid the skirt of the dress slowly upwards.

"Someone's a naughty girl." He whispered into my ear as he caught a glimpse of my lingerie.

"I had a feeling tonight was my lucky night." As he kissed me again I knew I hadn't been wrong.


	76. Chapter 76: Real Smooth

Chapter Seventy Six

_Each day just like the next_

_We struggle on and on_

_Tsuami Bomb - Take The Reins_

"You think their sleeping together yet?" Danny asked me, leaning on the bar as we sat drinking our beers. My eyes flitted to where his were, studying Lindsey and Francois with slight interest, shaking my head and rolling eyes at the same time.

"I think you've got a better chance of sleeping with him than Lindsey has." I retorted, sipping more beer out of the bottle. Danny knocked his back as if he hadn't heard me.

"Why do you care anyway?" I asked with a sidelong look at him. "Apparently you don't even like her."

Danny shrugged before replying.

"He's just so..." Danny trailed off as Stella and Lindsey burst into laughter at something Francois had said. The converstaion over there looked alot better than the one sided one we were having over here.

"Stylish, handsome, wickedly funny and probabyly romatic too?" I filled in, knowing that danny probably still wasn't listening to a word I was saying. Instead I turned my attenion to the bartender and signally for two more beers.

"How do you compete with that?" Danny apparently had heard me. He turned to me his face etched in frustration. I shrugged before trying to drop another hint.

"You know what they say about all good looking men." I remarked pointedly. Francois looked up, catching us both looking right at him, he gave one of us a raunchy wink, and I don't think it was me.

"He's a worse player than I am, he just winked right at ya, and she's still laughing a long like his little lap dog." he took another long swig of the beer, as I stared at him exsperated.

"I don't think it was me he was winking at." I remarked, unfortunately danny appeared to be in mid rant and the only thing I could really do was sip from my beer and ride it out. I tuned in to hear Danny say the words.

"She is so damn..."

"Hey Messer." I interrupted. "Ever hear the one about the big bad city boy, who was too much of a wuss to tell the country girl how he felt and is too damned stupid to listen to the not so subtle hints his friend is giving him."

Danny fixed my with a murky stare, a tiny smile on his face.

"Your a lame storyteller, you know that Devine?" I snorted as he spoke.

"And your too much of a wuss to tell Linsey you've got a crush on her."

"I don't have a crush..." I cut him off, pulling a face.

"Oh please Danny, from what I hear you've been pulling her pigtails ever since she got here." The truth hurts and a slightly drunk Danny Messer was getting more wound up, he deserved it.

"I don't even like her Devine, she's just some farmer's daughter from the country who set her sights on the big city, she'll go running home to Montanna as soon as she sees those pretty city lights ain't what she thought." I felt my temper flare up, I opened my mouth to snap back at Danny's words, and froze. Lindsey was standing there, her pretty face hardening into an angry mask, her fists clenched.

"You really think that?" I watched still unable to speak as Danny slowly put down his beer and turned on his bar stool to face Lindsey head on.

"Yea Montanna I guess I do." My jaw dropped as he swiveled back on his bar stool and returned to his beer, putting his back towards Lindsey.

"I can do my job as well as you Messer, even if I am just some dumb country girl." she turned on her heel and walked straight out the door with those parting words. Furious I rose to my feet, and smacked Danny across the back of the head.

"Smooth Messer, real smooth." I commented as he turned to me glaring.

"Why do you care? She's going home with that jerk anyway. She doesn't need a city boy espcially when she's got Frenchie over there." he gestured in Francois's general direction. I narrows my eyes and leaned towards him scowling.

"Your pissed about Francois Danny? He's gay." I told him whilst he sipped at his beer. I saw his eyes open suddenly, as he slammed his beer bottle down spluttering.

"Your shitting me?" His full attention was on me now. I crossed my arms over my chest, shaking my head.

"He was winking at you not me, Lindsey told me the other night." The look on Danny's face was one of pure uncensored horror. In an instant he was on his feet and rushing out of the bar after Lindsey.


	77. Chapter 77: City Boys & Country Girls

Chapter Seventy Seven

_All the lonely people where do they come from?_

_All the lonely people where do they all belong?_

_Ah look at all the lonely people._

_Ah look at all the lonely people._

_The Beatles – Eleanor Rigby_

"Montana… Montana wait up!" Danny had been chasing Lindsey down the street, weaving between people for over a minute now and he was beginning to find himself getting out of breath but he was beginning to catch up with Lindsey. He grabbed her shoulder, and spun suddenly catching him off guard as her hand came out of nowhere striking his face. Danny yelped grabbing her wrist as she went to walk away, tugging her back to him. The tears in her eyes made him freeze for a brief second. It took him a second to realize the side of his face was hot and stinging.

"I didn't mean it Montana." He tried grabbing her other arm as she tried to push him away. Lindsey struggled against him bitterly.

"Let me go…you're always looking down on me Messer, always. Don't even pretend to care."

"Stop…Just stop." Danny tried to reason as she continued hit at him.

"For Christ' Sake Montana it's not that trust me, if I didn't care I wouldn't be here." The words slipped out and rolled of his tongue creating an awkwardness to the air around him. Lindsey stopped moving, and Danny let go of her, looking down at the ground. Both were breathing heavily.

"You've got a funny way of showing it Messer." She snapped back. Folding her arms over her chest with an enraged look in her eyes.

"I'm serious Messer, what is your whole country girl, city boy complex? Your acting like your scared of me."

Suddenly Danny felt uneasy, she'd hit to hard. He wanted to take a step back, but for some reason he couldn't force him to. What was his complex? It started out with her being the new kid, her replacing Aiden, but now…it ran deeper. He wasn't good enough he knew that, her innocence made him feel dirtier, corrupt even. She hadn't seen the things that he'd seen, she was incapable of sin. Too clean, too pure. He'd ran with a rough crowd, defied his family, become a cop, he wanted redemption, hadn't he earned it by now?

He'd sacrificed his temptation so he could repent. By now he should have been clean too. Maybe it was the alcohol that made him ay it, maybe he was sick of hiding it, neither less the words slipped out.

"I'm not good enough for you." His voice sounded dull to his own ear. He folded his own arms and looked away. He heard her take a step forward, her hand was on his cheek gently, he flinched surprised, diverting his head back to face her as she said his name. Her hand was warm as she stroked his cheek, she was always there, her light burning all the time, making him feeling warm, needed, loved? He craved it desperately, all of these things, but he could never let himself go, never fall all the way. He rubbed his face along her hand for a second, closing his eyes reeling in the feel of her smooth skin.

"We need to talk." His eyes opened as she pulled her hand away, and began to fidget, before taking his hand gently. Danny stunned complied as she pulled him along the sidewalk. He found himself propped up on a swing in the small park by Lindsey's apartment. He found himself listening to her whilst she told him about herself, her past, her stories, and he listened intently retelling his own, and all the time sharing. The gap between them wasn't as big as they thought. At the end of the night a city boy took hold of a country girl's hand and for the first time in long time he watched the sunrise with someone who made him feel truly wanted.


	78. Chapter 78: Stumped

Chapter Seventy Eight

_I'm just working for the man_

_I'm Just tryin' to lend a hand_

Yeah...And If I had a rocket ship, I'd never wanna land  
Yeah...I'm just doin' the best I can

_Shawn Mullins – All In My Head_

"You called your parents yet?" Danny asked, giving me a sidelong glance through the thick plastic goggles as we stood next to each other waiting for the contraption in front of us to detect fingerprint. I kept my eyes on the raising steam.

"I think it's better not mentioned, the only time I see m to call them is tell them that I'm in some form of trouble. They don't want to know anything about my life in New York." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You and Flack moving in together is good news Devine." Danny pointed out turning to face me as I sighed and leaned against the counter that had been on my left. I met his gaze shaking my head.

"They think all the danger that I've been in is due to the fact Don is a cop. It's one step behind marrying a gang member. You should have seen it t Christmas Danny, it was unbelievable. Dad kept pointing out what my old friends were doing with themselves, how they all had normal jobs, normal families, husbands, kids..." I trailed off reliving that bitter memory of sitting across the dinner table whilst my father ticked off boxes one by one of things I could never be.

"You haven't told them?" Danny asked quietly, his eyes intent on my face. I closed my eyes for a brief second before answering.

"It would of just been another reason for me to go back, all they know is that Mathew stabbed me." The look on Danny's face told me that my words had shocked him, but he didn't look entirely surprised either. I looked away back at the steam now rising inside the plastic panels.

"Dad hates New York more than anything; they didn't even come visit me when I was stuck in hospital after Mathew. After I got out, I think he expected me to come running. I didn't." There was an awkward silence between us as I gave Danny a few minutes to digest this.

"I still think that you should tell them, get it out in the air. I mean what happens when you two decide to get hitched?" A lopsided smile burst across Danny's face causing my own to form.

"I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon." I snorted.

"The day you ask Lindsey out is the day I call my parents." I retorted with a knowing smile. I turned to face the plastic case which was now full with steam and peered at the blind man's white cane inside it. Danny's hand slapped something down on the desk, startling me. I peered down to see two thin slips of paper poking out from underneath his hand. I picked them up examining them.

"Jazz tickets…" I murmured handing them back to Danny who returned them to the back pocket of this trousers.

"I'm taking Montana there tonight." I stared at him open mouthed, as he grinned reveling in my obvious surprise. I put one hand on my hip.

"So somehow, after mortally offending her, you guys are going on a date?" I exclaimed at Danny's back as he readied another solution of chemicals.

He threw me a backwards glance over his shoulder.

"So you gonna call them tonight?"


	79. Chapter 79: Parental Guidance

Chapter Seventy Nine

_I heard your voice through a photograph,  
I thought it up it brought up the past.   
Once you know you can never go back  
I've got to take it on the otherside._

_Red Hot Chili Peppers – Otherside_

"No Papi, why does it always have to be about this? You think I don't know the dangers?" I asked incredulously. Papi was having none of it. I had originally called attempting to get hold of my mother, unfortunately she away at a charity meeting which had left me with my father telling me we didn't talk anymore. So… I told him. It had been a bad, bad idea.

"Carmen what are you thinking? Are you out of your mind? The guy's a cop for Christ's Sake, look how many times your life's been endangered because of him!" I counted it on one hand. Once through accidental pregnancy, that wasn't even his fault. I couldn't say that to Papi, I hadn't breathed a word to him about it. I couldn't, especially when he was acting like this.

"None Papi." I replied dully. I knew this was a losing battle, why had I let Danny talk me into this? On some level I actually wanted to believe that he was going to be happy for me. I was always a little too hopeful in that respect.

"The bomb blast…" he began. We'd been through this too many times to count. I cut him off.

"Papi, I was on call that day…" the memories of that day were resurfacing. I pushed them away.

"He got hurt worse than I did; he spent three months in hospital and another two getting better afterwards. Don saved lives that day Papi, he was a hero."

"When was he when you needed to be saved?" he snapped back referring to the attack by Mathew. I took a deep breath to calm the impending storm inside me. The words _Right there, fighting to get out of that chair, _sprung into my mind s I remembered that he still had those scars from the cuffs on his wrists.

"He was there." I said simply, feeling myself beginning to feel more and more depressed. I was sick of having this argument all the time.

"Look, I decided to tell you because I thought you'd be happy for me." I told him honestly. In my mind's eye I could see him shaking his head.

"Did you care how happy I was when you decided to sell your brother's house and take off to New York?" his deep voice retorted. The breath in my throat caught for a second, only a second.

"I couldn't stay there all my life Papi, I know you've always wanted to quit since Elliot died, but I can't do it, I won't."

"What's wrong with having a normal life, a normal job, kids even…" he argued. Suddenly I felt tired, it was always the same old argument.

"There are too many people who need justice in this world Papi, I'm not cut for the whole white picket fence thing, you know that, Elliot was the same. I have a family here now." I said softly. There was prolonged silence, I knew the fact I'd referred to Elliot had thrown him.

"It seems your minds already made up." He replied finally.

"It is…I'm not leaving Don, or New York Papi." I told him honestly. I heard him inhale deeply.

"Then I guess we've got nothing else to talk about then Carmen." A bitter coldness began to sweep inside me.

"Your right Papi I guess we don't." With that I replaced the phone on the cradle and dropped down onto the couch back against the arm of it, running both hands through my hair. I closed my eyes. He wouldn't ring back, until I moved back to Portland me and Papi wouldn't speak again.

Don's arms slipped around me from behind as he settled on the sofa behind me. His chest pressed against my back, his warmth filling me a little as I leaned back into him, head resting underneath his chin. He pressed his lips to my hair.

"That went well I take it?" he remarked dryly inhaling the scent of my hair. I nodded as he stroked the hair away from my face.

"You know if you want to wait, I don't mind." He murmured, kissing the side of my head.

"That's the point… I don't want to." I told him, turning in his arms, I kneeled up to face him as he handed me a rolled up newspaper.

"I spent the majority of my lunch break circling these." He said with a boyish smile. I couldn't stifle the laugh that escaped me as I read the tiny anecdotes he'd scribbled next to some of the red penned adverts. I dropped the paper on his knees.

"Is there any that you do like?" I smirked. Flack picked up the paper and handed it to me again.

"Did you not see the one with the smiley face next to it?" he pointed out on the actual paper. I read the advert out loud.

"I organized for us to go see it during lunch tomorrow if that's ok?" he said raising an eyebrow. For a second I was thrown by how serious he was about the whole thing. A small burst of affection filled me. I nodded my response before attuning my gaze to the paper.

"It bothers you doesn't it? That your parents don't like New York." I gave him a grim smile and laced my fingers together.

"I feel like they've abandoned me." I told him looking away.

"Ever since Elliot died Dad's been trying to protect me. I didn't tell him I was moving to New York until I'd sold the house, and accepted the job, because I knew how he was going to react." I confessed.

"He wanted me to stop being a cop, the job was too dangerous, it was a job that got Elliot killed, you know working for the services and Dad didn't want it happening to another kid of his."

"He just doesn't want to bury another child." Flack stated, he wasn't trying to reason with the logic of my father. He was just displaying a point. I pursed my lips.

"He want me to stop living, he wants me to stop doing something I love to give him a piece of mind. If we all ran around doing that where would the world be? Nobody would be standing up for what they believe in." I proclaimed Flack stared at me momentarily before blinking.

"Did I mention how sexy it when you do that?" I rolled my eyes as he took me into his arms.

"As far as justice goes your well into your triple figures." Don told me, kissing my forehead.

"I'm not quitting." I stated firmly.

"I'm not asking you to."

"Have you ever thought about quitting?" I asked him, staring at my hands. Don shook his head.

"Why change what I was meant to do?"

"You think that you were meant to be cop?" Flack nodded.

"It's in my blood…All I ever wanted to do was catch the bad guy." He admitted, resting his elbows on his knees.

"You ever catch him?"

"Everyday." His eyes were on me, gentle and probing.

"You ever catch the guy who set the fire that killed your brother?" I didn't have to ask how he knew, I'd never breathed a word to him, but being a cop did that. Some how he knew. I wrapped my arms around myself, nodding.

"She was just a frightened little kid. She'd set the fire as a dare, she thought the house was empty." I let out a deep breath and rose my head to meet Don's gaze explaining.

"An old woman and her cats lived there, the fire brigade thought she was still in there, the ceiling collapsed when Elliot was in there, ruptured his oxygen tank, he died from smoke inhalation." For a minute I felt numb, I was back staring at that burnt out house, knowing my brother had died in it. The anger I had felt…

"You worked that case didn't you?" Flack's voice was gentle, snapping me out of the reverie.

"Every single second. I wanted to scream and shout and hurt the person who killed him, and then… it turned out to be a kid… It just drained all away, she was devastated, she has to live with that her whole life."

"Your father's anger never did though?" I shook my head at Flack's words, looking at my hands.

"He wanted the kid to stand trial for murder; we had a massive fight that night. He said I didn't care and that Elliot's murder was going unpunished. Christ Don if you'd seen that kid… that deed was not ever going unpunished, she had to live the rest of her life knowing that she killed someone, she was fifteen. That was punishment enough. Anyway Papi didn't see it that way held myself together and a few days weeks later, first day back a suspect pulled a gun out on me. Aimed it right at my forehead, I froze. I didn't even have a chance to respond, the guy was just a punk who wanted to ice a cop. When he pulled the trigger and I heard that click…" I looked up at Don, meeting his baby blues.

"I swear I thought that was it I was going to die. You know what happened? Nothing, just an empty click. I was on him so fast he didn't have time to breath. Turns out the gun was ten years old and he hadn't even cleaned the gun. He could of killed both me and himself." I glanced at Don as his face twisted into an expression I didn't recognize. I returned my gaze to my hands.

"After that Papi wanted me to quit, he said the job was too dangerous to get another one of his kids killed. When it got to the point he was circling job vacancies in the paper that's when I decided to leave." The silence between us was deafening.

"Here's me just thinking you moved because the guys in New York were hotter." Lack said humorously before looking down at his own hands. His light heartedness made me smile.

"There is that too." I replied as he wrapped his arms around me. I groaned seeing the time over his shoulder and groaned, remembering we were both on earlies tomorrow.

"Why do I let you keep me up so late?" I asked stifling a yawn as he pulled me to my feet. Don replied to my question with a shrug.

"Because I look good naked?" I had to agree as I helped him unbutton his shirt.


	80. Chapter 80: Living Space

Chapter Eighty

_Suppose I never ever met you_

_Suppose we never fell in love_

_Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft_

_Regina Spektor - Breaks My Heart_

The apartment we were standing in was bigger than both of our own apartments. The living room connected to a bar style kitchen, the work surfaces dark mahogany and glossy. The master bed room was through a set of bay doors that opened into the room itself. Its best feature was the small balcony that overlooked the Manhattan skyline. The other rooms consisted of a small office and a slightly bigger spare room, and bathroom. At the sight of the spare room Don had mentioned a games room; I rolled my eyes at the female estate agent who simply smiled politely in my direction. As the tour came to an end, Don touched my arm gently ushering me aside away from the estate agent.

"So what do ya think?" he asked bowing his head to meet my eyes, attempting to read my expression. I felt the smile climb across my face.

"I love it. It's a tad bit over our price range, but we were prepared for that." I assured both myself and him. Flack crossed his arms over his chest a broad smile appearing over his own features.

"You love it don't you?" I grinned. He nodded his answer before looking in the direction of the estate agent.

"I've got images of you me and that balcony." he teased, his words barely above a murmur. I stifled my giggle as the estate agent looked to me, turning it into a cough.

"Do you wanna tell her?" I asked him, checking my phone for the fifteenth time in the past hour. I was waiting on some results from Danny. Mac had let me off with a little spare time to check out this place with Don whilst our case wasn't shifting.

"I'll tell her...you wanna call the lab or something, you've been antsy." he pointed out fixing me with his gorgeous baby blues. I felt the heat climb my cheeks as I bowed my head.

"Danny will call me if anything..." My phone went off suddenly, my hand going to it. I gave Don an apologetic glance as I pulled it out of my jacket. He shrugged and moved over to the estate agent as I answered the phone.

"Devine."

---------------

"Hey Devine; I got tickets for the Yankees game. You and Flack in?" Danny asked as we sat chugging bottles of water in the break room, waiting for Henderson to bring in our suspect. I shook my head in response.

"Sorry Messer, that's our moving in day." I told him. Danny gave me a knowing grin before settling down and flicking open the paper, whilst shaking his head.

"You've turned Flack into a responsible adult, what is the world coming to?" he smirked, eyes on the paper. I leaned against the counter and pulled a face at his comment.

"How'd you date with Lindsey go?" I asked him raising an eyebrow. Danny looked up from his paper, his arms resting in front of him. He shrugged.

"It went ok." he said before averting his gaze back to his paper. I let out a small laugh.

"She knocked you back?" I questioned. Danny shrugged before adding his own reply.

"Just makes me more hot for her." he said dead pan.

"My, my, how the mighty have fallen, you may just end up in a committed relationship yet." Danny's eyes rose to meet mine giving me the "shut the hell up" look. I held my hands up in surrender.

"I heard O'Brian got fired." Danny commented, turning the page over of the newspaper.

"Yea, I heard Mac pretty much handed him his ass on a plate." I said taking a final sip of water and dumping the bottle into the recycle bin.

"Mac's good like that." Danny said softly, the moment our eyes met I knew that he knew.

"I also heard Flack's brother in law dropped the case against you?" he added. I nodded, looking at my hands, knowing Danny's gaze was on me.

"The witnesses in reception at the time, pretty much backed me up, he didn't have a leg to stand on by the end."

"So everything's running smooth?" he asked quietly. I met his concerned eyes brightly.

"After everything that's happened in the last year. I'm really happy right now; I just want to stay here, like this." I confessed. I opened my mouth to say more, but was interrupted by the chirping of his phone. We looked at each other before leaving the calmness of the break room and stepping back into the chaos that was New York City.


	81. Chapter 81: On Ice

**AN: Hey guys, it's time for Part 6. Thanks, for the reviews they keep me and Carmen going. Anyway let's get this show on the road!**

**Part Six**

Chapter Eighty One

_Every whisper_

_Of every waking hour_

_I'm choosing my confessions_

_Trying to keep an eye on you._

_R.E.M – Losing My Religion_

The smell of the meat packing plant was knocking me sick. I felt my stomach shift as I swallowed back the bile riding up in my throat. This was coming from someone who dealt with the dead on regular basis. Give me human decomp and bloaters any day, the stench of raw fresh meat always had a bad effect on me. Out of the corner of my eye, caught Stella wrinkling her nose, and reassured myself t wasn't just me.

"He's in here." The gruff foreman pointed at the huge metal door that was slightly ajar in front of us. Clearly it led to a freezer. I stepped forward pulling the door the rest of the way open, and shrieked as something swung into my vision, at me. Blank dead eyes stared right at me just above my head.

"Made me jump too." The foreman told us as I took a deep breath to stay my hammering heart. I nodded my acknowledgment before taking my first step into the freezer and around the body. In a neat row behind the body were the carcasses of pigs with their chests and stomachs cut open. I took another deep breath, hating this place more. Stella moved behind me, pointing at the meat hook in the bodies back maintaining it in the upright position. I grimaced.

"Anybody been in here besides you?" Henderson asked from the doorway. Wordlessly I crouched down and opened the camera case.

"Just me." Was his reply. I took the camera out of the case and flicked it on.

"What time did you lock up?" both Nick and the foreman's voices were drifting down the corridor now, as they moved further away from the scene leaving me and Stella in a comfortable silence. I stood up with the camera as Stella indicated to the naked middle aged man on a meat hook.

"The fact it's in a freezer is going to make time of death harder to determine." She said removing her torch from the kit and shining it on the body, looking over it. The light from her torch admitted more light than the florescent strips above us did. She raised her eye brows as he gave it the once over.

"You seen this?" she asked pointing out a series of lines on the bodies' lower back. I took a picture before leaning forward.

"Looks like a tally." I said softly, shivering at the temperature and creepiness of this place.

"Looks like it's been done with the same tool that killed him." She estimated. I snapped another shot, before pulling the camera away from my face.

"Killer making his kills, you think?" I muttered, cringing as I backed into one of the frozen animals strung up behind me. It was hard not to think of this frozen body in front of me as a piece of meat. Was that the message? I moved around the front of the body. Avoiding looking at the gaping open mouth in front o me, I focused the camera on the stab wounds that marred the middle aged victim's chest.

"Got a shoe print." Stella called as she began to move towards the back of the freezer. Rather her than me. I frowned for a second after taking a shot and lowered the camera and looked at the wounds properly.

"I think the killer was in rage, the amount of times this guy's been stabbed, it's overkill." I remarked out loud. There was silence from Stella's side of the freezer. I took a timid step forward, my eyes string at the space between the two pigs she'd disappeared between.

"Stella?" I said softly. A cold shiver ran up my spine, as I pushed between the two heavy carcasses.

"Stella?" I asked, seeing her standing and staring at the wall, her torch moving along it.

"You better take a look at this." She murmured beckoning me closer. My own black booted feet crunched on the icy floor of the freezer, as I tread carefully towards her.

"Jesus." The words escaped my lips before I had a chance to think. Words written on the wall in blood, stood out, for a sheer second I forgot the camera in my hands and found myself rooted to the spot.

_Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been two long months since my last confession. I have killed again father, a man who deserves your holy judgment. Your word will prevail through me._

"Shit." I muttered raising the camera slowly and beginning to snap shots of the writing, my hands trembling, the disturbing nausea returning to me. I tore my gaze away meeting Stella's before muttering the words.

"I think we've got an avenging angel on our hands."


	82. Chapter 82: Avenging Angel

Chapter Eighty Two

_Calling all avenging angels, angels_

_Kick ass angels_

_Space – Avenging Angels_

I slammed the papers down in front of Stella as she began to unload the evidence box we'd brought back from the crime scene with us.

"The papers are calling her "Avenging Angel." Taylor Turner wrote an article on it a few days ago, in her Crime column." I told her. The paper I was shoving in her general direction was three days old. Taylor Turner was Flack's ex girlfriend and still a very good friend of his. I'd met her a few times and instantly liked her; it was hard not to like her. The fact she used to be in a relationship with Flack didn't bother me in the slightest due to her easy going nature, she didn't reference to it like most people would. The only reason I knew was because Flack had told me. She was a reporter at one of New York's most prestigious papers. As it turns out, this was the second murder by our killer. A member of the night shift had handed the case over to us when I told him I thought we had a serial. Stella's eyes strayed to the paper scanning over the first lines before averting them to me.

"You wanna explain this to me?" she said resuming her unpacking of the evidence.

"Remember the film, The Boondock Saints?" I asked her, setting out the envelopes in front of me. She frowned, before answering.

"The one with the two Irish guys who take on the Mob?" I nodded my response.

"The killer is just like that only she writes her prayer on the walls. Henderson pulled the file on this guy, it turn out he's one of the medium members of the Mob food chain." Stella looked down at the evidence in front of her, hands leaning on the glass table.

"Do you wanna profile while I study some of this evidence. I think it would be beneficial in this case." I rose my eyes to meet hers.

"You sure?" I asked quietly, knowing that my head would probably roll if Mac knew I was not focusing entirely on the evidence at hand.

"If there's any slack I'll take." Stella told me shooing me off with a small smile. I turned back to her I reached the doorway.

"Any new findings you'll let me know?" I asked with a tiny pout. Stella gave me a warm smile.

"Did you need to ask?" she replied. I grinned, closing the door to the lab quietly behind me.


	83. Chapter 83: Real Work

Chapter Eighty Three

_Because nobody knows _

_That's how I nearly fell_

_Trading clothes and ringing Pavlov's Bell_

_History shows there's not a chance in hell_

_Aimee Mann-Pavlov's Bell_

"I hear you've got a weird one." I jumped at the sound of Flack's voice behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see him leaning in the doorway. I guess I must have been so into my notes that I hadn't even heard him come in. As he stepped into the room, closing the door to my office behind him, I span in my chair to face him full on.

"We think we've got a serial." I said pen tapping my hand. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the door, waiting for me to continue. After spending the next five minutes explaining the case to him I ended by pushing a picture of the prayer written in blood towards him.

"I think we've got a fanatic. I'm still waiting for information off Henderson but so far that's what the evidence is pointing to."

"Speaking of evidence I'm noticing a severe lack of it." He said placing the photograph back on the desk and looking at me pointedly. I slid the picture back towards myself and gave him a bright smile.

"I'm profiling." I told him. He stared at me blankly for a second, before clicking.

"You mean I might actually get to see you in action?" he teased. I rolled my eyes at his response.

"I use it all the time." I retorted. Flack raised a dark eye brow, a playful smile on his face.

"Ok…" I fessed up. "I don't use it all the time; I haven't used it properly before I got here."

"As I said I get to see you in action." I shuffled the papers in front of me even though they didn't need shuffling.

"It's a little scary." I admitted.

"I've done scary." Flack reminded me. I tilted my head to the side trying to work out how to explain.

"You haven't seen me neurotic scary, it's a whole new ball game." I said matter of fact, seeing no point in dressing up the truth. He shrugged.

"Anyway how's Maria doing?" I asked changing the subject. His face broke into a grin.

"She's doing great; she's decided that a divorce is the best way to go fro here." I let out a sigh of relief at his words.

"God, I thought for a second, she was, you know, going to stick with him." Flack shook his head, his face returning to a serious expression whenever the "Michael situation" was discussed.

"It was touch and go for a while, but I spoke to her this morning, she knows it's better for her and the kids to do this." I leaned back in my chair, remembering the recent conversation I'd had with Maria. She'd spoken to me a lot in the past few months, because she knew about my past with Mathew. She said she liked the fact that I was both on the inside and the outside of the situation. She also told me that Michael had been hitting her for over a year. As far as I knew she hadn't told Flack that, nor was I about to.

"I've gotta go, you know doing real work." He joked before adding with some seriousness.

"I just wanted to check if you were coming home tonight, but by the looks of things..." I cut in.

"You had something planned?" I asked quietly. He gave me a grim smile.

"Nothing I can't leave for another time." I bowed my head at his words. His hand touched my shoulder, causing me to look up, meeting his beautiful blue eyes.

"We'll do it another night, I promise, it was nothing special. Besides the streets of New York, need Carmen Devine to make them safer." He laughed ruffling my hair. I found myself smiling despite myself.

"I'll see you later." I said softly, as he gave me a tiny wave goodbye. Hearing the door shut behind him, I reverted my attention back to my work, knowing he understood.


	84. Chapter 84: The Art of Profiling

Chapter Eighty Four

_Must have been the devil that changed my mind_

_Must have been the wind blowing up your spine._

_Now I'm back, angel headed, hollow eyed_

_I placed myself at the eye of the storm,_

_Just didn't see the sign posters warn._

_Laika – Black Bone Cat_

The first thing I focused on was the photograph of the message written on the wall. I let my thoughts drift as I sat in the chair staring at it. A prayer, a confession, admittance there was more to come? There was the evidence that it was going to happen again. She thought she was doing God's work. Was she an evangelist?

I wrote that down. I narrowed my eyes at the last line. She wanted God to judge him, what had he done wrong? In her eyes? The laws? Why was he singled out from the millions of people in this city? The prayer kept clicking over in my head I couldn't place it. My mind went back to the church me and Flack had visited last month.

_I remember stepping onto the aisle and moving towards the front, past the pews, my gaze turning and focusing on something. I made a wise crack about the confession box…_

The prayer was from the confession box, or at least similar. The killer was catholic, which meant she probably attended Sunday Mass. Two months since hr last kill, was that her last confession?

I turned my attention to the picture of the tally marks in the dead bodies' buttocks. There were four of them. Four kills already, fourth amendment? More likely four kills. So she was a serial. I took a closer look at the stab marks in the man's chest. Autopsy had highlighted that the cause of death was through blood loss, the man had practically had his chest torn open. He had been killed in rage. My brain went back to the tallies. Did she want us to know? Was she keeping score?

My brain steered towards the meat hook and the dead animals surrounding the body. A message? I knew he wasn't a cop so that was out. He was nothing more than meat? But this was personal, this man had done something. I knew this couldn't be a random, the rage in the wounds was too apparent. I pinched the bridge of my nose for a second and took a deep breath, as a soft rapping alerted me to Henderson's presence at my door. He entered before the words were out of my mouth.

"Go the files you wanted, sorry about the wait, the Mob Squad were holding onto them." That made some sense. I followed Nick's gaze to the mess of pictures and notes spread across my desk.

"I was profiling." I told him with a small smile.

"Looks…messy." He said with a playful grin. I nodded as he leaned over handing me the files. I took them form his large hands and flicked them open reading them out loud.

"Paulie Vasotti, mid level member of the Mob, couple of pimping busts, some smuggling, suspected of murder, never charged." A piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"I think we better move quickly on this." I told Nick flipping the folder shut.

"You think we got a serial?" he asked quietly, our eyes met for a brief second before turning to face the computer, and clicking the mouse so the screensaver disappeared.

"Let's see."


	85. Chapter 85: Red Head On The Wire

Chapter Eighty Five

_Like the blackbird on the wire_

_I will not take prey on you_

_You wouldn't want me to_

_For I'm too soft for such a thing_

_Beautiful South – Blackbird on the Wire_

"Detective there's call for you; it's a Lieutenant Caine from Miami." The reception's words on the other side of the line stunned me for a brief second before I responded.

"Patch him through." The phone clicked before I heard the warm rich voice of Lieutenant Horatio Caine.

"Detective Devine?"

"Lieutenant Caine, to what do I owe this honour?" I asked playfully, already suspecting what this was to do with.

"Call me Horatio." He said sincerely.

"Carmen… What can I help you with Horatio?" I said picking up my pen and doodling a small pattern on the note pad in front of me.

"You put up a bulletin about a case you have up in New York? It came to my attention that we may be after the same person Detective Devine." I noticed he hadn't used my first name, but I didn't take it personally. Detective Devine sounded a lot better coming from his mouth rather than anyone else's.

"What makes you say that Horatio?" I asked curiously, the pen was now making swirl patterns.

"There is the matter of the prayer you've mentioned. Did it happen to be written in blood perhaps?" I stopped doodling and stared ahead of me.

"Yes it did." I answered quietly. "I suspected it's Catholic, a confession box prayer."

"You'd be right." I couldn't help myself.

"You go to church much Lieutenant?"

To my surprise the voice on the other end chuckled.

"That's between me and the Lord." He replied, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You want to fax me the files over so I can run through them and tell you if we've got the same person?" I asked, trying to be helpful.

"Mac Taylor has already done so." I couldn't hide my surprise.

"Oh."

"Look Detective Devine, I'm calling you to confirm that we both have the same person here, the killer took down two officers, one with a minor wound and the other a rookie Lance Miller, died because they interrupted her. I've promised his parents that we will catch her."

"It's confirmed that she is actually a she?" I asked pointedly.

"According to the witness statements, she caused a shoot out here, several civilians were injured also. We have a lot riding on this case." I felt the anger rising in me at the turn of events that was unfolding.

"Are you pulling rank on me Lieutenant?" I questioned, feeling a tad bit bitter.

"I was merely going to ask if you could do with some assistance up there." I froze for a second, taking in his words and closing my eyes momentary. I'd almost just torn him a new one. I took a deep breath to ground myself as he continued.

"Mac Taylor and Stella Bonsara have cleared it, but the final decision rests with you." Yet again I was stunned by the decision that was put in front of me. I raked my hand through my hair.

"To be honest Horatio, we could do with the help, you've had experience with her, I need to know more about this woman. Can I ask you'll bring your case files?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course, I'll be seeing you as soon as I can get a plane out to New York. Detective Devine. Thank you for letting me in." he said sincerely. I smiled and bowed my head.

"Thank you for offering Horatio." I murmured before giving him my cell phone number and saying our goodbyes.


	86. Chapter 86: Theories

Chapter Eighty Six

_Falling over backwards for you_

_Falling over everybody else_

_Put myself in that position every _

_Single time I have the chance_

_Twist my arm if that's the way you think your gonna work this whole thing out_

_Having every question answered isn't help at ll_

_When you're not supposed to know._

_We Are Scientists – Textbook_

Sitting in the silence of the layout room was unnerving, especially since every one had been called here urgently by Mac. By everyone I'm talking about the team and Flack and Henderson.

"What's going on?" I asked as Flack shut the door behind him, my question directed at Mac. The atmosphere in here was tense and solemn.

"Multiple homicides in a diner in the Bronx, we think it's related to the case you and Stella are working on." I felt my jaw almost drop at his words. She was moving quick.

"Now Lieutenant Caine is on route here in the next twelve hours, to aid us with this case." Mac announced to the room, I leaned back in my chair still puzzling over the fact she's struck again.

"The press are trying to have a field day with this. Nothing escapes this lab, you all hear me?" There were whispers and nods of agreement all around. Mac eyes turned to me and Stella, fixing us both in his gaze.

"So ladies, what do we have?" I cleared my throat before speaking.

"We believe the suspect, is female, devout Catholic, she's been killing abut a year now from the information Horatio Caine faxed over…" Danny cut me off.

"You're saying a woman did that?" he exclaimed pointing at the picture on the white board behind Mac, our victim hanging, from a meat hook.

"You of all people should know it's not just men who are capable of such things." I snapped. Danny held his hands up in surrender.

"Just saying how could a woman manage to hoist the guy up like that without some leverage?" He pointed out. I felt myself fall silent. He was right, I hadn't thought about that. Apparently though Stella had.

"I have the answer to that. The meat hook is actually part of a hoist; they installed them to reduce accidents in the work place. I dusted the control panel, there were no prints, but I managed to pull some leather fibres. I managed to trace them back from a specialist shop here in New York, the owner remembers a blond 5'6 woman purchasing them, because she paid in full cash."

"So we have a description, a vague one. Carmen…" Mac gestured at me to talk again.

"Both me and Nick ran through the files that were sent to us. I can honestly say these killings ar a revenge killing for something, it's all too personal, and this man did something to her. She's been mentally unbalanced by something these men have done. She turned to God to recover, she believes that she's doing his work, and she's getting madder. According to Horatio Caine, she shot two officers in cold blood and injured several civilians. She's to be classed as armed and dangerous. She's not going to stop. It won't end with these men and she thinks she's above the law. Tell me about this multiple homicide?" I asked quickly.

"Dark haired woman, gunned down three wise guys in a diner, walked straight up to them, boom, boom, boom and walked straight back out." Flack told me, his arms crossed over his chest. His expression solemn.

"We found a black wig at the scene, there was some blond hair in it, so we've got something from comparison. A tread on the floor, she took the weapons with her and seemingly disappeared." Lindsey told the room.

"Clothes?" Mac asked. Danny shrugged, shaking his head.

"None descript, sunglasses, black jeans, black blouse, nothing to identify her with, no camera in the diner, no A.V." Hawkes informed us. I groaned inwardly. She was good.

"What about the wig?" Mac pushed.

"I'm working on it, but it's taking time." Lindsey told him. Mac nodded at her words.

"Look at this with fresh eyes tomorrow people, the evidence is going nowhere and tired eyes make mistakes." Mac sighed as he took a step back and adjourned the meeting.


	87. Chapter 87: Reinforcements

Chapter Eighty Seven

_Watch it now here he comes_

_He doesn't look a thing like Jesus_

_But he talks like a gentleman_

_Like you imagine when you are young._

_The Killers – When You Were Young_

"Lieutenant Caine, it's great to meet you." I said sticking me hand out the handsome red head in front of me. A warm smile curved over his face as he removed his sunglasses and took my hand, his grasp firm and friendly.

"I just wish we were meeting under better circumstances Detective Devine." He said as he pulled our hands away.

"Call me Carmen." I found myself grinning.

"Horatio." He murmured meeting my eyes with his piercing blue. "I've heard a lot about you Carmen."

"All good?" I asked, glancing pointedly at the man standing next to him. Tim Speedle crossed his arms over his broad chest and stared down at me.

"Why don't you ask Messer what he's been saying?" he said with a comfortable smile. I hit him in the arm playfully as he chuckled.

"You been taking care of yourself?" he asked suddenly serious. Tim was still a little protective over me since the whole Miami thing; he treated me like a little sister, which was kinda nice.

"If you discount the fact she pissed off fat Tony and had it out with Flack's brother in law on the floor of the reception area…" Danny's voice piped up from behind me. I rolled my eyes before glancing at him over my shoulder.

"He attacked me." I reminded him as he moved towards Speed and slapped him on the back.

"How you doing man? It's great you see you." He said with the widest smile I'd ever seen, well towards a guy anyway. Speed returned the gesture and me and Horatio looked on.

"You too man, doing fine, you got yourself a girlfriend who'll put up with you yet ?" Speed replied, his eyes going to me. Danny's mouth clamped up as I sidled up between the two and mouthed the word.

"Montana."

"You dating a country girl Danny?!" Speed teased raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, you'll get to meet her later." I butted in, before turning my attention to Horatio, while New Yorkers went into a riveting sport commentary.

"Sorry about that." I gave him a sympathetic smile. "It's just really great to see you both here."

Horatio gave me a knowing look, before returning his gaze to his sunglasses.

"Not at all, it's good to see him coming outside of himself." He paused for a second.

"So tell me Carmen what we've got."

I bowed my head feeling all the stress start to drift back into my body.

"You bring those case files?" I asked raising my head to meet his gaze.

"Of course." I nodded agreeably.

"I'll take you the layout room and get you introduced to the res to the team, and update you, it' easier doing it as a whole." I explained. Horatio slipped his sunglasses back onto his face and put his hands on his hips.

"Just lead the way."


	88. Chapter 88: Promises

Chapter Eighty Eight

_I can't remember what I planned tomorrow_

_I can't remember when it's time to go_

_When I look in the mirror tracing lines with a pencil_

_I remember what came before._

_Norah Jones – New York City_

After the introductions, it was time to get to business. Everybody had managed to cram themselves into the conference room and all attention was turned to the red head standing next to Mac, commanding attention through his natural persona. Speedle was leaning back on his chair nestled, between Danny and Stella, his ankle rested on the knee of his other leg; he was tapping his pen against his knee. Never a good sign.

"So people this is what we had in Miami." Three photographs I hadn't seen were stuck to the white board, underneath the names of each bloody victim.

"This man Paulie Romera, is reportedly retired from the Mob, he used to be high up on the food chain people." Horatio said pointing at the middle picture, he then gestured to the two others.

"These were his body guards." Horatio hesitated before continuing his eyes on the board as if recalling the details from the case file.

"The body guards were collecting dinner in the local Cuban restaurant, when a gun shot rendered one of the body guards dead. The witnesses report the shot came from a near by car, the remaining body guard fired back, security on the scene responded immediately and let's just say the situation escalated, six wounded, four killed including patrol officer Lance Miller." The room stared back at Horatio in silence as he let this sink in.

"Next the killer returned to Paulie's hotel room and under the guise, we suspect of a hooker, she seduced the victim into letting her through the door and then proceeded to kill him slowly with a hunting knife, before tracing his blood on the wall above the head board in the form of an abbreviated confession prayer." There was silence yet again before Henderson cleared his throat.

"I think it's safe to say we have the same killer."

"At both scenes a woman with black curly hair was seen leaving." Speedle said to the room, confirming our suspicions about the wig.

"I made a promise ladies and gentleman to Lance Miller's parents that I'd get his killer." Horatio spoke quietly, his gaze on the picture of Lance smiling. I could tell that death would haunt him, like it would all of us. It was all just another sign of how unstable the killer was.

"We managed to trace the boot print back to a store that especially makes this style of boot; we managed to get a name off the credit card. Audrinna Mathews, Me and Stella were about to check out the address." Danny told the room, as Stella nodded behind him. Mac's eyes focused on them both, his gaze hard.

"Take back up, I can't risk the two of you being injured, you what she's capable of." He said pointedly, we all knew he was talking about dead patrol cop. Next up was Lindsey, and all Mac had to do was shift his gaze to her.

"We managed to get specific chemical off the wig, it's used in stage make up in theatres, but it's only found in three in New York. Now that we've got a name and a description, I'll ask around and see what I can find." Mac nodded his acknowledgement before giving her the same warning as Stella and Danny. His gaze was now on me.

"Carmen stay on the profiling, I need to know as much as we can about this killer, look for potential victims and accomplices, leave no stone unturned, you got that?" I nodded feeling a strong sense of adrenaline run through me, as it always did when we began to get close. I stood up collecting the files in front of me together including the one of the Miami killings.

"Mind if I join you Detective Devine?" I glanced up to see Horatio looking at me over the tops of his sun glasses. I gave him a grateful smile before nodding my head.

"Two heads are better than one." I replied as he took a step to help me collect the folders.

"H, I'm gonna hang out in the Trace Lab, Stella mentioned a substance on the boot that makes no sense, see if I can help out there." Speed said rising from his seat, waiting for Horatio's authority. Horatio gave him the nod and off he went out the door. I was surprised by the casual relationship between the two; I didn't think that other crime labs were as friendly as we were.

"Remember this needs to be fast people, it won't be long before the Mob decides to take justice into their own hands." With the added pressure of a time limit I knew this case was going to take its toll on all of us.


	89. Chapter 89: Breaking Point

Chapter Eighty Nine

_We took all our shortcuts_

_Used our hearts as a map _

_And we still got closer than most._

_Beautiful South – Closer Than Most_

I set the cardboard take out coffee cup in front of Horatio as he leaned over the desk analysing the scrawl of my hand writing. He glanced up, giving me a warm smile before sipping it gratefully.

"Your notes are impressive." I felt the colour rise in my cheeks as I sat down saying nothing.

"Your modest." He murmured quietly. I shrugged before responding.

"You can learn a lot from a person's actions."

"Tell me what you've learned about Audrinna." He asked me, mentor to student. I was surprised to find myself so settled with this man. Usually I felt uncomfortable or on the spot in moments like these, but Horatio had a way about him that made me feel relaxed.

"She's angry, not just angry, she's raging, these men did something to her." I pointed to the pictures we'd already pinned up on the board.

"She practically tore these two guys' chests out. I think it's safe to say that the body guards were collateral damage as were the civilians, she just wanted to get them out of the way, the shooting today killed three of the Mob's finest. I think it's safe to assume that Little Sammy here was the target, he's way high up on the Mob food chain."

"Which leads us to an association between them all doesn't it? Why don't you see if you can find a connection, a case maybe that links them?" Horatio asked, staring at the pictures as I twisted in my chair.

"Already there." I said typing in my I.D and password into the computer and putting in the relevant names. The search was still running through as I turned to Horatio, wanting to bounce off an idea that had been bothering me.

"You think she goes to church and confesses these killings?" I asked Horatio thoughtful.

"From your notes she's a devout Catholic, the likeliness is that she is going to church at some point." He reasoned. I sighed returning my gaze to the computer.

"And there are thousands of churches in Manhattan." I spoke softly. Horatio's mouth fixed in a grim line.

"There are, aren't there?" He answered. I bowed my head. The computer made a sudden high pitched noise, reminding me of it's presence.

"What do you have?" Horatio asked, I could feel him leaning so close we were almost touching.

"I found out what they did to her…" I trailed off still reading. I took a deep breath as the last line ended.

"The poor girl." I heard myself say as I read the case report.

"Doused the house in petrol and set them a light." Horatio murmured as the nausea rolled up inside me.

"Two parents and a brother under the age of ten, burned to death in the house, she came home from seeing a movie with some friends and found the fire brigade putting it out and her family…" I couldn't say anymore, the words were lodged in my throat as I struggled to comprehend what had happened to turn Audrinna Mathews into a callous killer.

"Check the suspect list?" Horatio asked, breaking the silence. I followed his order unable to function on my own merit. Only when I saw the names did things begin to fall into place. The suspect list was also the hit list. There were two names left. The word "Rosetti" blurted out of my mouth. Immediately Horatio's eyes were on me, studying my face.

"You know him?" he asked as I turned to face him. The look in his eyes was troubled.

"I had a run in with Tony Rosetti last year sometime, their family's above the Garcia's and the Moreno's" Horatio raised an eyebrow.

"Tony is the only one of the family left; his other brother is doing time for a murder. I ran a history on Tony, by calling a specialist on the Mob to see what I was dealing with. It turns out he's suspected to be the boss's right hand man." I clarified, rising to my feet. Horatio was already at the door, and we were heading to Mac's office at a breakneck pace.

-------------

"So her father was going to roll over on the Mob?" Danny exclaimed as I nodded. We were back in the conference room as me and Horatio were filling in the rest of the team on the new developments in the case.

"I guess they caught up with them, there was insufficient evidence to convict any of the suspects. She spent a small time being seen by a psychologist and then pretty much disappeared off the radar, until now." I informed the group.

"We have patrol watching Rosetti and their on high alert, there's nothing more we can do, good job ladies and gentleman, I think it's time for a drink." The whole room stared at Mac stunned as he began to usher us all out to Ray's.


	90. Chapter 90: Collateral Damage

Chapter Ninety 

_If you knew that you would die today_

_And saw the face of God and love would you change_

_Would you change?_

_Tracey Chapman – Change_

As usual the bar was full but the bartender Ray always made special exceptions for the NYPD. Between us both name and Don managed to carry the pitchers and the glasses over to the table where the team was sitting.

"You did a good job today." Don murmured quietly as we approached the table. I gave him a shy smile before hiding behind my hair.

"Thanks."

"You keep saying stuff like that, and her head's only going to get bigger Flack." Danny teased as I set down the pitcher in front of him. I rolled my eyes before retorting.

"At least mine can fit through the door Messer." Speedle sniggered, pouring from the pitcher and into his glass..

"Ok, you two simmer down." Mac as usual being the voice of reason butted in.

I settled into my seat between Flack and Speedle, Don's arm resting lightly on the back of my chair. As Don sparked up a lively conversation with Lindsey about the Yankees, Speed turned to me, his voice barely audible over all the noise.

"I've been meaning to ask you, but there hasn't been a minute…How are you doing?" Our eyes met for a second, before I bowed my head with a tiny smile. I could tell he was studying me.

"It gets better you know." I told him sipping from my glass of beer.

"Losing a child is never easy." He reminded me, taking a gulp from his own glass.

"I wasn't ready for a baby anyway, too much work, too busy being a super hero and fighting crime, besides mine and Don's lives are too dangerous for a child right now. Last year was just one big mess. I don't know how you and Eva do it." I told him honestly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Speedle shrug.

"The question is how does Eva do it? I don't know either, you just do…" he looked into his glass of beer with a faint smile.

"When you have a child everything changes." He chuckled before sipping at his beer again before continuing.

"When you get married everything changes, you find the one person you want to spend your life with and everything changes, you know it in an instant. It can take one event to shake it up and make you realize it."

"Sounds like you made the right choice." I remarked, my thumb tracing over the rim of my own glass.

"No doubt about it, I wouldn't change it for the world."

"And to think you used to be such a grumpy bastard." I laughed, Tim shared the joke before reverting back to his serious expression.

"Didn't like people getting to close to me, had a thing about them getting hurt. My past is a little chequered in that respect. Had a problem dealing with any real emotion, but that doesn't matter now. The reason I'm saying this is because you should be thinking about it." My head jerked up at his words as he drained his glass. I waited patiently for him to finish refilling it before starting up the conversation again. I followed his gaze to Flack, who was now playing boys against girls with Stella, Lindsey and Danny.

"He's gonna pop the question soon." Speed muttered without looking at me. I let out a small laugh before sipping from my own beer.

"That's where you're wrong. Don still loves his bachelor status." I replied. Speed took a swig of beer.

"Your living together aren't you?" he pointed out. I felt my mind go blank as a well of emotions struggled to the surface.

"It's ok to be scared." He said patting me on the back gently. I shook my head, focusing entirely on my glass.

"I was married once before, it ended badly."

"The guy who stabbed you?" I nodded without tearing my gaze away from the glass. His eyes were on my face, absorbing each detail.

"It doesn't mean you don't deserve another shot at happiness." He said finally, pursuing his lips together. My eyes strayed to Don, holding the pool cue in his hands aiming at the black ball, his gaze shifted a little resting on me for a minute before he winked and took the shot.

"I just…I just don't want to fuck this up; marriage is a really big thing to me. I rushed into it last time. I didn't ever think I'd get married again, that's where I see things going wrong for me. It means things are serious then, right now I'd like to feel like I have the rest of my life to do serous." Tim stared at me for a second before responding softly.

"In this job, the rest of your life isn't as long you'd think."

His words hit me as I remembered the shooting from a few months ago. One day at a time, besides there was always the possibility that Tim Speedle was wrong.

---------------

At some point everyone else had said their goodbyes, leaving me Horatio, Speed, Mac and Stella the only customers left drinking in Ray's.

"The circumstances weren't funny, but the actual event, his eyes were just there peeking out from behind the desk." We all let out a laugh as Speedle shook his head a warm smile on his face.

"I'm sorry guys but I'm gonna have to turf you out, you've stayed way past closing time." Ray, the bartender told us. Looking around I saw he was right, struggling into my coat, I followed Stella towards the exit of the bar, leaving the guys to gather their things.

The fresh air hit me as Stella opened the door, three steps ahead of me. Smiling she turned to me, her mouth open to speak. A car backfired close by and all of a sudden Stella stumbled, I reached out to steady her, but her body kept falling, sagging forward as I caught her, her eyes fluttering closed in almost slow motion.

"Stella…" I breathed, my knees starting to bend under the combined weight of the alcohol I'd consumed and her body. My hand touched something wet and sticky on her back as my knees gave way and I landed upon them on the ground, trying to make the fall as comfortable as possible. It was then I stopped to look at my hand. I screamed, seeing red all over it.

"Mac!" I was shrieking his name into the street, I couldn't stop. Somewhere my brain was registering the need to take my jacket off. The door behind me slammed open as I threw it off, still shouting hysterically. A flash of red next to me, and suddenly Horatio was by my side, tugging the coat from my hands wordlessly as Mac turned Stella gently onto her side. Distantly I heard the words "ambulance" and "officer down."

Someone was crying Stella's name over and over again. I could hear someone repeating Stella's name over and over again, both Horatio and Mac's hands were on Stella's unmoving body.

"Carmen, I need you to tell me what happened?" As Mac's eyes met mine, for a single moment I felt clarity.

"A car backfired…" My hands were shaking and I was struggling to out this all together.

"It was a gunshot." Mac told me and I found myself trembling harder as a wave of nausea hit me.

"Stella can you hear me? It's Mac, we're going to get you to a hospital, I'm here." I saw Stella's fingers wrap around Mac's outstretched hand.

"I'm sorry Stella, I'm so sorry…" my own voice was plaguing my ears. I saw Horatio's gaze shift upwards to something behind me.

"Speed, get her away from here, she's in shock." Horatio's words penetrated my brain as a pair of firm hands clamped down on my shoulders. I stood up swinging around to meet Speed's gaze furious, even though I was aware he hadn't given the order.

"I'm not leaving her." his big hands rested on my shoulders, as he forced me to make eye contact with him.

"I'm not asking you too, but you're hindering them. You're getting hysterical and you've been drinking, we need you to calm down, you're going into shock." The trembling and the sickness in the pit of my stomach were worse now and I knew he was right. I took a deep breath amidst the chaos. I heard Mac's voice talking as the ambulance crew swerved to a halt next to us. The sirens loud, still echoing in my ears as they moved around us, loading her onto a stretcher. All the time Tim's hand was gripping mine as if afraid I'd be lost in the darkness and the chaos that had claimed Stella.


	91. Chapter 91: Condolences

Chapter Ninety One

_How bad, how good, does it need to get?_

_How many losses? How much regret?_

_What chain reaction would cause an effect?_

_Makes you turn around?_

_Makes you try to explain?_

_Tracey Chapman – Change_

"Detective Bonsara was shot last night…"

"Gunned down in the back…"

"Outside Ray's bar…"

"Credit to the NYPD…"

"Majority of her life serving and campaigning for justice…"

"Condolences go out to the members of the NYPD that served along side her…"

The T.V flicked off, as I stared at the screen pulling the blanket even tighter around me, before turning my head towards the doorway. Tim stood there remote in his hand, his eyes on me; I turned away back to the blank screen.

"You shouldn't be watching this." He said throwing the remote onto the couch on the adjoining wall. I said nothing and just stared ahead.

"Mac's back he's…he's holding up. Flack said he'll be on his way as soon as possible."

"I don't want to go home." I muttered turning to face him as he clenched his jaw and turned his own face away.

"You can't stay here." He replied, his gaze met mine with equal strength. I stood up and began folding the grey blanket. I shrugged. He cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to him. He looked nervous.

"I need your clothes for processing." Suddenly I knew why he was nervous; he didn't want to push me anymore. I smiled bitterly looking down at the spots of dried blood that covered the front of my clothing. It was hard to believe that it was Stella's. It even harder to believe that they had to eliminate me as a suspect. Coldness ran over me as I nodded. I rose my eyes seeing Mac standing next to Tim in the doorway. His hardened face looked unusually haggard, his mouth set in a firm line. He was still being strong, still holding on for all of us. If he crumbled so did the rest of us. I felt myself begin to quiver.

"Mac?" The words whispered escaped my lips as tears began to pinprick my eyes, as I searched his face for answers and clues.

"She's unconscious at the moment, they sedated her while they prep her for surgery, the bullets lodged into one of the vertebrates in her lower back. They're unsure whether she'll pull through the procedure or even walk again, but at least for now she's still alive." He informed grimly. That was Mac's, all about the facts. I felt my knees buckle as the air rushed out of my lungs and the room span for a brief second. I let myself fall back into my previous seat still struggling to process the news. Meanwhile Mac was still talking.

"I'm going back to the hospital I just wanted to let you all know the news, if anything happens I'll call." I nodded, still shaking, my head going into my hands as he left the room. I heard other footsteps enter. I felt someone's hands rest on my arms, stroking them soothingly. I rose my head to meet the eyes of Tyler Turner. I felt her eyes roam my face for a second before I began to cry. She pulled me closer as I buried my head in her shoulder. We hadn't been friends very long, but I felt a definitive connection with her, and right now I needed someone and she was here, telling me it was going to be ok. Eventually the crying subsided, and I pulled away, gathering myself.

"Thanks."

"I'm sorry." We spoke at the same time, causing a brief moment of awkwardness between us.

"Don, told me what happened, I wanted to see if you were ok." She told me as I wiped at my eyes.

"This all off record?" I asked with a tiny knowing smile. It was a small joke we both shared.

"Of course." I looked towards the doorway and saw that Tim had conveniently excused himself. That was probably a good thing. I glanced back at Taylor ho was mouthing something at the corner of the room. I twisted my head to see who she was talking to but the room was empty besides the two of us.

"Taylor…" I questioned raising an eyebrow and pursing my lips together. Taylor turned to me shocked. The expression on her face stopped me dead. The colour drained from her face. I began to shake my head.

"No Taylor…come on don't tell me she's dead." Fresh tears were raising now.

You maybe wondering what the hell I was talking about. The truth is just over three years ago "Crime Columnist of the Year." Taylor Turner had begun to see ghosts, and these ghosts were people that needed help, people who needed their murders solved, so she turned to the NYPD and came into contact with the team, some of whom believed her story and some who don't. When she first became involved in one of my cases, I laughed it off, branding her crazy. It's amazing what a cup hitting the side of your head can do to you, especially when thrown by no one visible. Another thing that made me fall into the niche of believing Taylor was the eerie ability for her to know things about the cases that no one else could know. She knew details that we hadn't documented or even thought of ourselves. Things no one could know except the victims of the crime. That's when it came apparent to me, that Tyler could see ghosts and right now I had the unshakable, sickening feeling that she was seeing Stella's.

Taylor's head snapped up turned to mine; she was shaking her head immediately.

"No…no…it's a police officer, his badge says MDPD." She was frowning at the apparent empty corner now. I watched her face carefully.

"Lance Miller, he was a patrol cop killed in the shootout in Miami." I told her feeling a weight off my shoulders for a brief second.

"He's nodding." She said softly. I felt my own face turn grim. To my surprise Taylor turned her head towards me slowly, mouth open.

"He's pointing at you…?" she trailed off as I struggled to comprehend what she was saying.

"And making the sign of the cross…?" I shook my head showing her that I didn't understand what she was saying.

"A baby…?" My head snapped up at that one.

"He's pointing at you again." Taylor said, the confusion evident on her face.

"Could he be talking about a church?" I asked carefully. Taylor turned back to where I guessed the ghost was.

"He's nodding." I rose to my feet abruptly.

"I've gotta get these clothes off them give them to Speedle." Taylor stared at me shocked for a second before following suit.

"I'm gonna try and work out where Casper here's talking about." She told me. I nodded, letting my hair fall over my face to hide the expression and the fact I already knew.

-----------

I was standing in front of my locker, just having changed when the shock of tonight's events actually hit me. Shivering I found my back pressed against my locker and sliding down against it, until my ass hit the cold floor.

_She was falling again towards me; I had my arms out ready to catch her, but all that red it was everywhere covering me. I tried to scream but the words wouldn't leave my throat, she was bleeding out, dying there in my arms, and I couldn't act, couldn't respond…_

"Tears were running down my cheeks now, as my hands covered my face, and I remembered something else.

_Speedle standing there in the doorway with the results. _

"_Oil and wine, and water." He was muttering. I shook my head._

"_No idea what that's found in." I responded collecting my papers together._

"_No neither do I."_

"Oil, water and wine." The words said out loud pulled the strings of my own memory again, some months ago.

_I was standing next to the priest as he mixed the blend together._

"_Why wine?" I asked. Father O'Donnell gave me a warm smile and a conspiring wink._

"_Sometimes the Lord needs that little bit extra." He said filling the decanter, which they swung over coffins for a funeral._

The image of St Andrew's flashed before my eyes, as I managed to pick myself up off the floor and shove my soiled garments into the evidence bag Speedle had given me on the way in here.

I'd gone there after the baby had died to pay my respects, to show I'd never forget, every few months I'd light a candle to remember it by, to show it I still cared. Sometimes Don came with me. I opened my locker again, my movements slow and deliberate, as my eyes rested on the gun in front of me, nestled safely in its holster. It felt heavy in my hands as I took it from the locker and then fastened it to me. I gently shut the locker and picked up the evidence bag filled with my clothing and preceded out the door.

--------------

I met Speedle in the corridor, I handed him my clothes without stopping.

"Where are you going?" he called after me suspicious. The lie came out smoothly and without me even having to think.

"Don's picking me up outside." Nodding his agreement Tim Speedle retreated to the Trace Lab.


	92. Chapter 92: Sinner

Chapter Ninety Two

_Brother and sister together we'll make it through_

_Some day our spirit will take you and guide you there._

_I know you've been hurting _

_But I've been waiting to be there for you._

_And I'll be there just helping you out_

_Whenever I can_

_Quindon Tarver – Everybody's Free_

The church still stood, candle's lit in it's infinite glory. I only frequented here when I was in need, and right now I had a whole lot of need. I was as desperate as they come. I moved towards the tiny row of candles and selected my own, lighting it slowly with the lighter I always carried in my bag. I watched fascinated as the candle burned, flickering slowly in the wind. More heaviness filled me as I stood fixated remembering why I was lighting this candle.

"Hey baby…it's me again. I hope they're looking after you up there. You'd be about six months old by now, and me and your Daddy still miss you. Look mommy's about to do something incredibly stupid, she may even end up joining you up there, so do me a favour and watch over your daddy for me if things…go bad." I closed my eyes tightly, clenching my jaw as a sob threatened to escape. I swallowed hard. I opened my eyes hearing footsteps behind me, hurrying up the aisle. The clicking of boots was the only noise in the silent church. I turned with what I hoped was normality, head bowed so my hair fell over my face. My hand discreetly rested on the gun at my hip. I hoped I looked deep in thought. The footsteps were slow and deliberate now, approaching me slowly. I refused to quicken my pace; I took one step at a time. As we were about to cross paths I glanced up at her, giving her a once over before bowing my head again. Seeing Audrinna Mathews in the flesh was nothing special. Even now I found it hard to believe that this woman had committed such crimes. Yet the keyword should have been almost.

"Lose someone today detective?" she jeered. I smiled beneath my hair, raising my head to meet her gaze full on.

"Not today." I told her, her eyes went wide at my words. I used the distraction to un-holster my weapon, swinging it towards her, aligning my body with it. Audrinna was that little bit quicker. She reached out and grabbed my wrist as I moved the gun towards her, her grip tightened as she twisted it painfully away from her. I let out a tiny bleat of pain as my service pistol fell from my hand. I heard it clatter on the floor as she moved again, her leg sweeping and hitting the delicate spot behind my knees. I went down suddenly, the impact shocking me. I cried out in frustration as something cold was pushed against the back of my head, painfully. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath, knowing that it was her own gun. My heart hammered in my chest as I felt her click the safety off. I opened my eyes staring straight ahead knowing at this time of night that the church was empty and grateful.

"Did you come here for revenge? To kill me?" she asked m, her voice quiet and childlike.

"I came here to obtain justice." I spat. Audrinna laughed out loud. The gun was still pressed to my head, a cool reminder of my own morality.

"I am achieving justice. Can't you see that? I'm getting justice for my family and their other victims." I inclined my head in her direction very slowly.

"Was shooting Stella Bonsara justice? She risks her life to obtain justice day in and day out. She helps people for Christ's Sake." I was shouting at her now, and I couldn't stop. The rage was there boiling in my chest.

"It was a warning, you were all getting too close, she almost caught me you know? I just got out of that apartment in time, and I haven't finished yet, can't you people understand that. I'm not finished and you can't get in my way. Your all sinners all of you." My temper bit at her reasoning, fire rushed through me as she spoke.

"You shot an innocent woman, where the hell is the justice in that?" I yelled in fury.

"She tried to help you, stop you becoming a monster. You think God's sitting up there smiling saying it's all fine and dandy, she's doing my work? You're going straight to hell as soon as your times up, your out for revenge against the people that killed your family. You shot a beautiful wonderful woman in cold blood because she wanted to help you stop…"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" she roared jabbing the gun into the back of my skull so much I had to grind my teeth to stop from crying out.

Don's face flashed in my mind, his smile, his voice. I had to tone it down if I wanted to live. It was followed by the image of Stella lying in my arms, bleeding. The memories from tonight were swirling around my head, and that's when I made that final decision, I needed to get justice for her. She deserved it. Audrinna moved around me. The gun was now pressed to my forehead. I was on my knees head tilted back staring her straight in the eyes. I could tell from her face she was starting to lose control.

"Go on Audrinna do it, I've committed no sin. I'm a good cop. You cross this line and you kill me, that's it, there's no going back for you." I told her without so much as a quiver in my voice.

"She's right Audrinna. Listen to her." Lieutenant Horatio Caine's voice cut through the church, but his wasn't the voice murmuring in my ear. Apparently that was Aiden.


	93. Chapter 93: Last Request

Chapter Ninety Three

_Slow down, Lie down, _

_Remember it's just you and me_

_Don't sell out, bow out,_

_Remember how this used to be,_

_I just want you closer_

_Is that alright?_

_Baby let's get closer tonight_

_Paulo Nutini – Last Request_

Flack

Flack popped his head around the door to the Trace Lab causing Danny and Speed to look up from their conversation. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Taylor who pushed past him almost frantic.

"Have you guys seen Carmen?" she blurted out. There was silence as Tim turned to Flack, his eyes widening.

"She said she was leaving to meet you." He said narrowing his eyes. Taylor let out an audible gasp. Flack's head twisted towards her, mouth open as Danny uttered the words.

"No freaking way."

"What did you say to her?" Flack questioned Taylor arms over his chest, his eyes full of something that none of them had seen before.

"She had her gun with her." Speed muttered, before Taylor could speak. Flack's head darted to Speed, as Danny shook his head.

"She puts it in her bag after shift; she doesn't like feeling like she's threatening people by having it on her all the time." He spoke thoughtfully.

"She definitely had it on her." Speedle contradicted.

"There is no way she would have gone after Audrinna." Speed was already calling Horatio as Danny spoke. Flack already had his phone out and hit speed dial one on the key pad, before ending the call when he got answer phone.

"Her phone's off." Danny and Flack exchanged a look between them. Flack's attention turned to Taylor, who was still staring at them all in shock.

"She wouldn't…" she murmured. Flack crossed his arms over his chest.

"It looks like she has." He responded. They all turned as the door behind them opened and Horatio looking concerned entered.

"I've heard we have a problem gentlemen." He said to the detectives before noticing Taylor standing there.

"Ma'am." He nodded at her in greeting.

"We think Carmen's in the wind, she could have gone after Audrinna." Speed offered to his mentor. Horatio looked thoughtful for a second before responding.

"That would mean that Detective Devine, would know something that we didn't doesn't it. What did she say before she left to anybody?" Horatio asked the room. Speed shook his head before relaying his conversation to Horatio.

"Actually that's not just it." Taylor butted in. Flack's eyes were on her reproachful as she picked her next words carefully.

"I think she's gone to a church." Taylor added.  
"What church?" Danny asked frowning. "Carmen's not religious; she doesn't do the whole Sunday mass bid…"

"St Andrew's." Everyone in the room turned to Flack, whose head was bowed and his arms were folded over his chest.

"We both go to St Andrew's sometimes, to light a candle for the baby, she goes by herself sometimes, it's the only church she'd go to in New York." Flack told the stunned group with a heavy heart. Taylor studied her friend for a second, suddenly understanding the ghost's message.

"You think she's gone to avenge Stella?" Danny asked the question that everyone was thinking into the silence. Horatio Caine shook his head, already half way to the door.

"I think it goes a lot deeper than that, come one gentlemen, I think Detective Devine's got herself in way over head."

_I've found that I'm bound_

_To wonder down that long winding road._

_Oh, and I realize_

_All about your lies_

_But I'm no wiser that the fool I was before_

"Shit." The words had escaped Flack's mouth before he even had a second to think. In front of him Carmen was on her knees, gun pressed to her forehead, and she was shouting. He couldn't take his eyes off the scene in front of him. Did she want to die? He asked himself, his mind getting ahead of itself. She had been drinking...

The act of Horatio stepping forward forced his brain to adapt to the current situation. All guns were trained on Audrinna, but Don's main focus was Carmen, Taylor, despite her protests had been left at the lab. He found his anger was beginning to mount as she stared along the line of his gun.

How could she do this? How could she put herself and all of them in this position, especially so soon after Stella had been wounded.

"Come on, put the gun down now. Detective Devine's an innocent party in all of this." Horatio murmured calmly into the air. Audrinna's eyes were wild as she focused on them all.

"Detective Devine came here to make you stop, she wanted to help you. Many people have been hurt in this war Audrinna; you have a chance to end it right here and now." Horatio was talking softly. Audrinna's face hardened.

"It appears I have you at a disadvantage here, what's one more life…" she jammed the gun into Carmen's head, forcing Carmen's head to tip further back. The words escaped his lips before he could stop. He was stepping forward, holstering his gun, hand outstretched.

"Don't…" Audrinna's head turned to Flack who stepped closer towards her.

"Before you even consider pulling that trigger, pout that gun on me, I've committed more sins than she has. I swear I drink, I've had sex before marriage, I even stole something when I was in 8th grade. But you can't kill her, all she's done is fight for justice, her whole life, she's righted the wrongs that other people have committed. Isn't that what you're fighting for?"

"You're trying to distract me Detective?" Audrinna sneered, her gun still trained on Carmen. Flack shrugged before pointing at Carmen.

"You kill her and I've got nothing to lose." He said simply. Audrinna's eyes studied Flack before she let out a harsh laugh that made his blood run cold. His hand went to his weapon.

"Lord have mercy on her soul." Audrinna screeched. He couldn't get the gun to quick enough. He watched as Carmen grabbed both of Audrinna's wrists in her own hands and raise to her feet struggling with the gun, pushing it up towards the ceiling. Their bodies were pressed too tightly together to get shot. The gun went off a bullet striking the ceiling, causing a small chunk of plaster to fall. Audrinna's knee plunged into Carmen's stomach as she shoved the other woman away from there. Carmen hit the ground flat on her back, Audrinna still pointing the gun at her. The gun in Audrinna's hand went off, just as Don pulled his own trigger and a rain guns shots echoed through the church. He was already rushing to Carmen's body as it buckled and blood began to spread across the green shirt she'd changed into.

_I just want you closer _

_Is that alright?_

_Baby let's get closer tonight_

He kneeled down beside her as she stared at the ceiling in shock, hand moving to the spreading blood. In the background he could still hear Danny calling for an ambulance.

_Grant my last request and just let me hold you _

_Don't shrug your shoulders_

_Lay down beside me_

He took her hand, as her eyes focused on the other side of her.

"Thank you." She muttered. Speedle was already shrugging off the shirt he was wearing over a black t-shirt; he passed it to Don who pressed it against her wound. She was looking pale, tears glistening in her eyes. She gripped his hand tightly.

_Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere_

_But one last time let's go there_

_Lay down beside me_

"What did you think you were doing?" he asked quietly as she lay there, she only had eyes for him. As the sirens cut through the air, she turned her head away and didn't answer, and Don found himself doing the same.


	94. Chapter 94: A Difference of Opinion

**AN: This songs for Flack and his feelings to do with the situation.**

Chapter Ninety Four

_Everything you say, every word of it cuts me to the bone_

_I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn  
It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world_

_Now I'm going through changes, changes  
God, I feel so frustrated lately  
When I get suffocated, save me  
Now I'm going through changes, changes_

_3 Doors Down – Changes_

The door slammed shut behind him loudly causing me to wince as I dropped onto the couch, saying nothing. My left arm was in a sling, bullet had gone through muscle just under my shoulder hitting no major any things, in short I had been God damned lucky. Don was leaning against the door, his stunning blue eyes fixed on me coldly, I wanted to shrink away under their gaze.

"Just answer me one thing. Did you honestly want to die?" he asked softly, his eyes never shifting. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but the words just wouldn't come out, too much was bubbling to the surface that I couldn't begin to answer his question.

"For Christ's sake Carmen, I need you to answer me, I need to know what was running through your head. What were you thinking? You'd been drinking, your friend had been shot right in front of your eyes, and you were mentally unbalanced. Yet you still went after someone who we all knew wouldn't of thought twice about killing you, I've read everything you wrote Carmen and I know that you knew it too. People could have got hurt, innocent people. Did you really expect to take her down?" He'd been pacing while he was talking and now he's stopped again and he was looking at me in sheer frustration.

"What would you do if I said yes?" I remarked quietly. I saw the expression on his face turn into a mix of emotions; I turned my head away unable to look at him.

"I'm serious Carmen, you almost threw your life away back there, you think that's what Stella would have wanted? That would of sat on her shoulders for the rest of her life, and not just hers, on everybody's, think of Taylor for Christ's sake, she feels awful she let you go alone, I just need to know what the hell was running through your mind, when you decided to go there alone." His words were bitter, and each one stabbed me like a tiny knives, getting under my skin before I could take no more. The calm that had descended on me after the shooting disappeared and I found myself on my feet and I was screaming at him, trying to make him understand.

"It was you Don; you were in my mind, and every single member of that team. Do you really think she would have stopped with Stella huh? She would of gone for another one of them, either before or after she was finished with the Mob. You've read my notes? Then you know that she was escalating. She crossed the line with Stella, when I walked into that church she thought that Stella was dead. Do you really think I could of sat back and waited for her to shoot someone else, maybe she'd have gone up to Lindsey's door, or Danny's or even ours, what if she'd killed you huh? I went there to protect them…" I choked; tears were brimming as I poured my heart out telling him everything. I pushed it all away so that I could finish.

"I can't stand the thought of anyone else being hurt or killed, Stella's still in surgery, and I can't stand the thought of seeing you or any of them lying on that slab, it's too much…" The walls I was holding up broke as the full turn of events hit me. My knees gave out and I found myself back on the sofa unable to control the sobs. I didn't expect him to understand. As I heard the door click shut as he left the room, I knew there was no way I could ever make him.


	95. Chapter 95: Relief

Chapter Ninety Five

_I told you everything_

_Opened up and let you in_

_You made me feel alright for once in my life_

_Now all that's left to leave is what I pretend to be_

_So together, so broken up inside._

_Here I am _

_Once Again_

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny_

_Can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I've cried._

_Kelly Clarkson – Behind Hazel Eyes_

Flack

He was staring off into space, his pen twisting in between his hands, his raging blue eyes focusing on it, as he swivelled in his chair.

"You been sitting there all night Flack?" Danny called as he stepped into the abandoned police office, dropping a steaming mug of take out coffee in front of his friend before helping himself to the chair on the other side of the desk.

"Something like that." Flack said averting his gaze from the pen to the coffee before returning the pen to its rightful place and picking up the coffee cup in both of his hands, blowing on it before taking the first sip. He raised his eyes finding Danny staring at him.

"Thanks." He murmured setting the coffee cup down on the desk, now intent on it. Danny folded his arms over his chest and leaned back on the chair, raising an eyebrow.

"You and Carmen had a fight or something, because she didn't go home last night either." Flack's gaze averted to Danny. This was news to him.

"She's been at the hospital with Stella covering Mac, while he tries to sort out the mess from last night." Don pursed his lips and took hold of the coffee cup in his hands and clenched his jaw a little .

"You wanna tell me what's going on? Mac's bouncing off the walls, we're all on pins waiting for news on Stella and I know for a fact you've been here all night, your still wearing the same suit from yesterday." Don slipped his coffee before looking down at himself and cringing.

"She just ran off trying to get herself killed, I can't comprehend what she was thinking, not even for a minute." He murmured, surprising himself as well as Danny. He looked at Danny who silently returned the gaze.

"I read through her notes Danny, there was no way she could of taken Audrinna Mathews down alone, especially in the condition she was in and she knew it, I confronted her last night. It's just… last time when I got hit, all I could think about as her, I couldn't get out of my head hat the last words I'd said to her was something to do with her eating the last donut. The thought I'd never see her again scared me more than the thought that I was dying, it scared the living shit out of me Danny seriously…And then she just throws herself into the line of fire, I just… I just don't get it." Don lowered his head, starring into the coffee mug.

"Did she want revenge? She said she was protecting all of us; I just can't make sense of it all, of what made her do it. I mean is that just an excuse?" Don asked out loud, looking for an answer he'd been pondering over all night.

"Gentlemen, I couldn't help hearing your conversation, I assume your talking about Detective Devine?" Don's head darted up to see Horatio Caine leaning in the door way. Flushing red Don nodded his response as the Caine stepped forward towards the desk.

"Your wondering why she went after Audrinna?" Flack met Horatio's watery blue eyes evenly, before nodding. Caine played with his sunglasses for a second before answering.

"Sometimes it takes one person to stand up and face the thing that haunts everybody else, and I think Carmen Devine besides being a scientist was also a human being, she responded with her heart and decided that against all odds that she'd make a stand against it. She put her own life on the line for the people she loved because she knew that no one else could stand to see another one of their friends lying there in the morgue." I'm not condoning her actions, but I can't say I don't understand. Isn't it what we spend our whole lives doing?" Horatio asked the other two men. Don flopped back into his chair resigned thinking on Horatio's words as he left the room. Something inside him clicked so suddenly he felt himself jolt in surprise. He jumped up grabbing the suit jacket from the back of the chair and shrugging it on as Danny frowning rose to his own feet, sporting a confused expression.

"There's something I need to do." Was all he said, yanking open the tp draw of his desk and taking out a small box and slipping it into his inside pocket. With that he left the room.

_Seems like just yesterday_

_You were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall_

_I used to be so strong_

_Your arms around me tight_

_Everything it felt so right_

_Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong_

_Now I can't breathe_

_And I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on_

Carmen

I walked into the room feeling slightly nervous; yet seeing Stella's smile soothed me instantly as she held out her arms for a welcoming hug. I leaned forward obliging, feeling so happy that she was there, still here. I settled into the char next to the bed I'd spent most of the early morning in.

"They tell me you spent the night here, what's up you have no home to go to?" she joked from the position she had against her pillow. She still couldn't move anywhere right now the surgery had seen to that. I gave her an embarrassed smile before looking down.

"Something like that." I replied, grabbing her hand I gave her a small smile.

"I hear the operation ran smoothly, the doctor said its good news." I told her a genuine grin spreading across my face. Stella nodded with a similar optimistic smile.

"It's going to be hard, but I'm prepared for it, it's better than spending my life in a wheel chair." I felt her squeeze my hand tightly.

"You wanna do me a favour?" Stella asked softly. I nodded before responding with my own quietly.

"Anything." I answered honestly.

"Next time don't go all lone ranger, you scared the hell out of Mac, and me and well…everyone. It was hard for him to hand the case over to Horatio." Stella told me, with an openness that both touched and shamed me.

"They told you." I mumbled, finding myself unable to look at her, but wanting to explain.

"I just wanted her to stop. I know she was unbalanced; her shooting you was just the start. I mean I can't comprehend what she'd been through, but I know she wouldn't have stopped with you, she thought you were dead and I was scared that she was going to come back for you and for everyone else, and to be honest I couldn't face that. Just imagine if Lindsay had been leaving at that time and she's a good deal shorter than you are, it would have killed her." I shook my head, tears bubbling. Stella patted my hand gently.

"The point is, she didn't and I am still here." She paused giving me a reassuring smile as I dared to look up at her.

"I'm just a little bit broken at the minute. You've been thinking about this all night haven't you?" I bowed my head and nodded grimly.

"It's just, it's still there you know? I thought it would be all over you know, but it's still there just sitting heavy. I feel like I've lost more than I've gained." I confessed to her, resting my chin on my hand. Stella's eyes were on my face.

"You imagined him on that table didn't you?" It was a statement not a question. I bit my lip before answering.

"Even when she had me on my knees, gun to my head, all I could think about was him, that's why I fought for the gun she was gonna kill me either way."

I sighed before staring off into the distance.

"He put himself in her line of fire you know, she was dangerous and unstable and she could of shot him, that's why I went for the gun, because I couldn't stand to see him dead. Going back to the apartment alone, facing life without him…" I trailed off and then picked up again.

"He doesn't see it that way, all he sees is me going rogue and he's a stickler for justice we both know that." I pressed my hand together and then touched my for fingers to my forehead as if in prayer.

"We're through Stella, we're over, he walked out on my last night." I confided quietly, rubbing my eyes. I felt Stella's hand stroke my hair as I held back tears. I raised my head to see her gazing at the door. I followed the line of her vision seeing Flack standing in it, still clad in the same suit from last night; I guess he hadn't been home last night.

"You mind if I borrow her for a while Stella?" he asked, those baby blues never leaving my face.

"Take her home, she needs some sleep." Stella told on me. I stood up, giving her a mock glare over my shoulder, she gave me a playful shrug, before blowing me a kiss. I returned my gaze to Don who was now retreating back through the doorway.

Could I do this right now? The words from last night were still stinging in my ears. I glanced over his shoulder to see if I was still following. He met my eyes before turning away. I guess we were going to find out.


	96. Chapter 96: Stuck in the Middle

**AN: As usual Thankies to all the peeps who review, and to all the lurkers I know you're out there, and thanks for your support too. The holidays have been kind of busy for me, but I promise I'll try and make good on some new chapters for you guys. I've been trying to work on Part Seven for the past few months and I've had so many false starts its stupid. But I think I'm onto the one I like, you may have to wait a little while for it, but we'll just have to see what happens. Another thing is, I'm really busy with uni this semester, I kind of almost don't have time to work, but I will try and keep posting. Another thing! Happy New Year guys! Anyone made any resolutions? Don't be afraid to pm, or inc them in your review, I'd love to hear about how this years gonna be a lot better than last lol.**

Chapter Ninety Six

_And I'm wondering what it is I should do_

_It's so hard to keep this smile from my face_

_Losing control, yea, I'm all over the place_

_Trying to make some sense of it all _

_But I can see that it makes no sense at all._

_Clowns to the left of me jokers to the right_

_Here I am stuck in the middle with you._

_Stuck In The Middle_

Mac

"I'm at a cross roads here Horatio, I don't know what to do." Mac Taylor told Horatio Caine from across the desk, his fingers knitted tightly together.

"I've got one laid up in the hospital and one going rogue on me, the integrity of the lab is at risk, I can't afford to make a mistake right now, especially in regards to the lab." Horatio leant forward resting his elbows on the desk in front of him with ease.

"By all mean's Carmen Devine's actions were not those of a vigilante." Mac raised his eyebrows at Horatio's use of words.

"That's what you were thinking of wasn't it?" Horatio asked pointedly. Mac said nothing before letting Horatio continue.

"She did not go out with the intention of killing Audrinna Mathews, she was prepared to if the situation warranted it, but we both know that it was never her intention. What does the chief say?" Horatio asked, gazing at Mac, whose chin was resting on his chin.

"That it's my decision…This is one of the hardest decision's I've ever had to make, especially since Aiden." Mac confided to the other man. Horatio gave Mac a sympathetic smile, as Mac continued.

"It's like having children; you know what they've all been through because you've been through it all with them. It's a bond you just can't break. Yet it's a bond that doesn't matter here." Mac exclaimed frustrated.

"It's a hard decision Mac, but I know you'll make the right one." Horatio said standing up. Mac's gaze had turned to out the window, he watched the millions of people on the streets below, his hand near his mouth.

"I'll tell you something Mac, something I've never told anyone." Horatio murmured to Mac's back. Mac turned his attention to the other man.

"When Marisol…my wife had cancer, her brother, and my CSI Eric Delko was accused of buying dope, there was no real evidence, just snippets, but it made him look bad. I was pushed into firing him for the damage that he could do to the lab if it turned out that he was a druggie. I put my trust in Eric and he has never let me down, I know he's there watching my back and that I made the right decision keeping him in the Lab for my sake and for the labs. You have the same decision to make." Horatio paused for a second to help Mac weigh up his options.

"Carmen Devine has a history of unpredictability, but her reactions are spot on each time. She's extremely motivated, and she's willing to put herself in danger to protect others, and we both know she's a more than capable scientist."

"On the other side she has a problem sometimes with her temper and doesn't always think before she reacts. She finds herself too personally involved." Mac argued.

"Don't we all?" Horatio said softly meeting Mac's eyes, they shared a moment of clarity before Horatio glanced at his watch.

"I've got a plan to catch." Horatio said, before sighing.

"Keep me posted?" he asked Mac, whom nodded before standing to shake the other man's hand.

"Thanks for all your help with the case." Mac told Horatio genuinely. Horatio grinned before replying.

"We could always use a good profiler down in Miami." Mac returned with his own smile.

"I'll let you know, have a safe flight."


	97. Chapter 97: Who Knew?

Chapter Ninety Seven

_Remember when we were such fools_

_And so convinced and just to cool_

_I wish I could touch you again_

_I wish I could still call you a friend_

_I'd give anything_

_When someone said count your blessings now_

_Before their long gone_

_I guess I didn't know how_

_I was all wrong_

_They knew better_

_Still you said forever and ever, who knew?_

_Pink – Who Knew?_

"You're an idiot you know that?" Flack yelled as the door shut behind him. I closed my eyes drawing an exact parallel to this same point last night. I felt my temper bite, and before I realised it I was snapping back.

"You're shouting out me still? Why am I not surprised?" My left arm was aching like hell and I was hellishly cranky.

""You would have done exactly the same thing, you did in fact out your life on the line too as I recall so do not preach at me you hypocrite!" I spat, storming through the living room and towards the bedroom door of the apartment.

"You been saving that one up princess?" he was challenging me, and I knew it. I took a deep breath, I was not going to let him goat me back into this argument…Oh hell. I spun around to face him furious, the words died in my throat.

Flack was on one knee in front of me, ring box in his hand glittering. I couldn't speak, my mind blank, jaw working furiously to say something, anything.

"I should have done this a long time ago, long before now; I've had this ring ever since the baby. I guess I just didn't know what to say until now. Everything that's happened, it made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to be sitting here contemplating what would have happened if I had just asked. I want to be with you for now and forever. Carmen Devine will you do me the honour of marrying me?" Don's eyes were on me, those beautiful baby blues honest. I blinked momentary and there was silence for a few seconds, my mind was whirring and I couldn't even open my mouth to say the words. Was this what I wanted? I'd promised myself never again. Did it matter? Don wasn't Mathew. I couldn't figure this out right now, this was the last thing I'd expected.  
"I need time." The words were out of my mouth before I'd thought them. Don opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the chirping of the pager on his waist. He looked down at it the same time I did, the moment broken. He rose to his feet, his eyes on me studying my face.

"I need to go…" he muttered, before reaching over and kissing my forehead gently. He cupped my face in his hands, looking directly into my eyes.

"Take as long as you need, I can wait." He told me with a small smile, before vanishing out the room. My knees weak I fell down onto the couch, only to have my pager erupt with sound a few minutes later. I climbed back onto my feet, realizing that life goes on even when the love of your life proposes to you.


	98. Chapter 98: Records

Chapter Ninety Eight

_Kiss me while I'm still alive_

_Kill me when I kiss the sky_

_Let me die on my own terms_

_Let me live and let me learn_

_Now I'll follow my own way and I'll live on to another damned day_

_Freedom carries sacrifice_

_Remember when this was my life_

_3 Doors Down – Life of My Own_

Being called into Mac's office in itself was a scary prospect, but knowing that you'd actually done something wrong, and the prospect itself became terrifying.

I'd been sitting across from Mac Taylor for the past two minutes and he had never once blinked or spoken, he just sat there, leaning back on his chair, staring at me. I'd been nervous when I first entered the office, now I all I wanted to do was crack and tell him all my darkest secrets. In the back of my head I wondered if this was some form of Marine torture. I opened my mouth to speak, I didn't even know what I was going to say, yet the words never came out because Mac raised a hand to silence me immediately.

"Do not even speak. I don't want to hear a word out of you yet." I clamped my mouth shut in response to this. Mac stood up slowly and began to pace, in a deliberate manner.

"Do you even know what you did back there?" his gaze focused on me, boring into my exterior like hot coals, as he leant both palms on the desk.

"You took a bad situation and you made it worse, Stella had already been shot, we didn't need you running off to save the day. You'd been drinking, you'd faced a major trauma, there was no way you were in any fit state to be even considering going after Audrinna Mathews." I jumped as he slammed his palms down on the desk, my head pounding in my chest.

"This is a team game Carmen, and what you do affects not just you, or me, but everyone in this lab, I can't afford sloppiness, or people who can't play as a team. Not only did you risk your own life, you risked, Danny's, and Flack's, even Horatio and Speedle's. At any point one of them could have been on the receiving end of a bullet. This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I've been there with you through some of the toughest times of your life, I feel like your one of children, but that doesn't make this any easier." I bowed my head, biting my lip, knowing what was coming.

The truth was there was no way I could have blamed him, especially not for this decision.

"I'm putting you on probation. This is your last chance Carmen; I can't afford to lose another CSI right now. One more slip up and your out, there's enough controversy over this case than there needs to be. I have to protect the integrity of this lab. From now on, no running off on your own, you're assigned to the Crime lab for the next few months, and then we'll take a look at your progress and see if you're ready to go back on the field." I nodded, turning my head away as it flushed bright red from shame.

"Thank you." I murmured, rising to my feet, I couldn't even bring myself to look at Mac who was now sitting in his chair again.

"Don't thank me, thank your record." He told me the moment before I shut the door behind me.


	99. Chapter 99: Listen To The Rain

**Part Seven**

Chapter Ninety Nine

_Listen to each drop of rain_

_Whispering secrets in vain_

_Frantically searching for someone to hear_

_Their story before they hit ground  
Please don't let go  
Can't we stay for a while?  
It's just to hard to say goodbye  
Listen to the rain_

_Evanescence – Listen to the Rain_

The rain was pouring down from the sky, drenching every part of me as I ran from the subway to the Crime Lab. A loud rumble of thunder echoed through the sky as I ducked into the reception area, heels clacking across the floor. I'd been out there two minutes and was already soaked to the bone. Long strands of my curls auburn hair were soaked causing them to hang lankly. The skirt and tights I had chosen to wear were cry under the long black coat that fell past my knees. I glanced up, seeing Danny hands thrust in pockets in the doorway watching me wide smile on his face. I gave him a warning glance before stepping past him.

"Don't say it." I growled, he pursed his lips, narrowly avoiding me smacking at him, as he muttered the words "drowned rat".

"What are you doing here anyway, waiting for me?" I asked him pausing for a second. Danny shook his head.

"It's your lucky day Devine, you get to avoid the rain, I get out on first call out." Danny muttered, glaring at the sky. I scowled at him before retreating to the elevator, as the first flash of lightning appeared.

----------------

I rubbed at my eyes stepping away from the microscope. Taking a deep breath I found myself in front of the huge window of the break room, overlooking the city. Rain lashed against it as I stood their eating my vanilla yogurt, watching.

"I haven't seen a storm like this in years." Stella told me, as she took slow unsteady steps towards me. Stella's progress had been making good headway over the past two months; she was off her crutches but still had a cane until she regained full usage of her legs.

"I'm glad I'm in here and not out there, their scenes probably getting washed away." I replied, with another spoonful of yogurt. She stepped up next to me crossing her arms over her chest.

"How's probation treating you?" she asked glancing at me side long, I shrugged for a second before answering.

"Itching to get out of the lab, I'm wondering how long Mac can be mad at me for." I admitted, as a streak of lightening flashed across the sky.

"You did shake him up quite a bit." Stella reminded me, I nodded my response.

"I'm just feeling restless." I informed her. "It's a little weird for me being cooped up inside."

"Cop's itchy feet?" Stella questioned. I nodded with a wide smile.

"It gets like that for everyone, you've been here over two years now, it seems just like yesterday that you came here."

"I know what you mean. How long have you been here?" I asked her turning to face her instead of the window.

"Over ten years as a criminalist, working with Mac." She told me openly.

"You must really love it."

"It's had it's ups and downs." She informed me. We both turned to face the door to the break room as it opened.

"Have you two seen the news?" Mac asked poking his head in through the door. Stella glanced at me and glanced back.

"No." I murmured reaching for the control for the TV, switching it on. A news bulletin was playing vividly on the channel that was on. Snatched of sound penetrated my ears.

"Prison escape…"

"Armed and dangerous..."

"One man…"

"A gang member…"

"Prison guard killed…"

"We're on full alert." Mac told me, as the pictures of the escapee flashed on screen.

"You have got to be kidding me?" I muttered, turning to face Mac.

"Sonny Sassoon, Sonny freaking Sassoon." I repeated, hands on hips.

"You're not stepping outside this lab until he's apprehended Carmen." Mac said, arms crossed.

"Hawkes and Danny are on the prison cell; Lindsey and I are going down to the morgue. You'll both be sorting the evidence." I bowed my head, biting my lip to stop the argumentative words about to spurt out of my mouth. I gave him a tiny wave as he left, dreading what was to come.


	100. Chapter 100: Coffee Break

Chapter One Hundred

_You got me coming up with answers  
All of which I deny._

_I said it again but could I please re-phrase it  
Maybe I can catch a ride  
I couldn't really put it much plainer  
But Ill wait till you decide_

_Duran Duran - New Moon on Monday_

The police radio in front of me was crackling like crazy as I continued scribbling on the report sheet in front of me. I'd been listening for any news on the breakout for the past hour, it had been two since the breakout and already the majority of the police force was crawling the streets looking for the perpetrators. Here I was stuck at my desk, as Mac wouldn't let me within a two foot radius of anything to do with this scene, although I wasn't entirely sure why. Danny and Mac were currently combing all their contacts; Stella was in the lab, with Lindsey. Here I was pushed on the outside. I sighed, and rubbed my hands on my face for a brief minute. Flack's face flashed in my head for a second before disappearing. I wondered how he was doing and what he was up to right now. Things had been awkward since the proposal, he was still waiting patiently I could tell, but the problem was I still didn't have an answer for him. Maybe I was too much of a wuss to tell him I didn't want to get married again. A light tapping on the window startled me. My hand reached instinctively for my gun before my head twisted towards the glass of my office. I found myself meeting the eyes of Tyler Turner as she pushed open the door and stepped through raising an eyebrow at my gun.

"Jumpy?" she remarked dryly. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding before nodding slightly more calmer now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her, raising to my feet, and rubbing my face with my hands again. Tyler leaned against the glass door with a small smile.

"I'm getting you out of this lab for five minutes; you look like you could be doing with some caffeine in your system." She told me, nodding pointedly in my direction. I crossed my arms over my chest feeling slightly grouchy.

"Don call you?" I asked, tilting my head to the right. Taylor grinned shaking her head.

"I work for a newspaper remember? And I called Danny to see how you were getting on." She admitted. I found myself smiling.

"And seriously I had to get away from the newspaper for a minute, everything's going crazy there right now with this breakout, and I wanted to see if my friend wanted to indulge me in some stimulating conversation." She was opening the door already, I held a hand up to stop her, she frowned quizzically.

"I'm not allowed out of the lab at the min, Mac's orders." I explained.

"What did you do to get chained to that desk?" Taylor asked, still holding the door open with one hand. I shook my head.

"The escapee and me have a small history, therefore I can not step out of the building without a police escort." Taylor bowed her head thoughtful as I spoke, I could see she was pondering.

"You guys have a canteen; about three floors down don't you? Mac's not going to care if you slip out for a cup of caffeine is he? Because technically we're not stepping outside the building." She began with a mischievous glint in her eyes. I rolled her eyes.

"I don't need to get fired today." I told her.

"We can bring it straight back to your office." She offered. I guess the look on my face showed the fact she's managed to sway me. Grabbing my bag, I left for the lifts, desperately hoping that Mac wouldn't decide to swing by my office in the mean time.


	101. Chapter 101: Lifts and Labs

Chapter One Hundred and One

_Don't tell me how life is  
Cause I don't really don't want to know  
Don't tell me how this game ends  
Cause well just see how it goes  
Catch me when I fall  
Or you'll need me when I'm not here at all  
Miss me when I'm gone again, yeah_

_I'm going down in flames_

_I'm falling into this again_

_3 Doors Down – Going Down In Flames_

Armed with cardboard coffee cups we had just stepped into the lift and were between floors when the huge roll of thunder echoed through the building. The lift jolted stopping suddenly. Panic rose in my chest as the lights above us flickered before going out. For a second we stood in silence as the darkness settled over us…until the back ups flashed to life, giving the lift a strange fluorescent glow. I glanced at Taylor whose wide eyed expression I know had to have mirrored mine. The lift was still not moving.

"I guess the lightening must have blown out the generator." I muttered, taking a deep breath, and attempting to calm myself. Taylor reached forward and pressed the button for our floor again on the control panel. When the lift failed to move she pressed the emergency call button once and them a few more times for good measure, until it became very apparent that the lift was no responding in any way. I felt the cold clammy hand of fear creeping up my spine as she turned to me rather calmly and said.

"Please tell me these things have emergency breaks or something?" I shrugged, heart fluttering in my chest, whilst I shook my head.

"I don't know anything about lifts." I confessed

"I think it's safe to say we'd be pizza already if the breaks were not going to work." I nodded, taking more deep breaths, not wanting to think about the words coming out of her mouth. Taylor's gaze swept to the numerical dial above the lift as she pointed at it.

"At least we're not any higher." She pointed out, sipping from her coffee cup. I stared at her, as she leaned against the metal sheeting of the lift looking quite comfortable.

"You're not helping…" I remarked through grinding teeth. Taylor's eyes met mine and I think she must of seen the terror etched into my face.

"We've got coffee and company, it could be worse. We could have been trapped in here with creepy body odor man from reception."

Despite myself I found a grin climbing my face as did Taylor's.

"It's probably best if we get comfortable, we may be in here a while." Taylor said sinking to the floor, cradling her coffee cup in her hands. I followed suit, hoping that maybe she'd be wrong.

----------------------

In the Lab

The light above them flickered, leaving the lab in temporarily darkness for all of five seconds before the back up generator kicked into gear. Both Danny Messer and Lindsey Monroe glanced at the ceiling before returning to the substance they were analyzing.

"Does it affect all the electricity in the lab?" Lindsey asked Danny, looking around at the computer terminals. Danny shook his head, peering at Lindsey with a warm smile.

"Na, the back up generator powers everything that is on the need list, I wouldn't try using the elevators though until the main generator comes back on." Lindsey nodded her response before picking up the coat of the dead guard and holding it closer to her face.

"Hey Danny, does that smell like…" Lindsey's words were drowned out by the sudden burst of gun fire. Danny reacted instinctively, grabbing Lindsey's body and throwing her to the ground behind the work bench as a second burst shattered the window where they had been standing showering them both with shards of glass. The gun fire continued, moving across the lab and away from them. Danny took a chance and peered over the table top towards the general direction of the perpetrators. There were two of them, standing in front of the elevators, both wore masks, both had semi automatics. Danny ducked back behind the desk and got put his own service weapon before turning to Lindsey. She was crouched in a sitting position, staring straight ahead and breathing heavily. He realized she was beginning to go into some form of a panic attack. He out a hand on her arm, she jumped, her gaze fixing on him, as his phone began to vibrate. He answered it looking around at the smoking ruin that used to be the lab.

"Messer."

"Danny it's Mac. Are you both alright?"

"We're fine, minor cuts and bruises, what about you guys?"

"Same here, Stella and Hawkes, managed to get down just in time."

"What about Carmen?" Danny asked frowning.

"What about her, she's with you isn't she?" Mac's voice sounded concerned.

"I saw her in her office last…" Lindsey shook her head in Danny's direction.

"She left for the elevators a little while ago with Taylor." She murmured, drawing her own service weapon.

"You get that Mac?" Danny hissed into the phone.

"Listen we cant worry about her, at the minute the elevators our down, I need you get hold of these chemicals for me, can you do that?" Danny repeated each name to Lindsey as Mac spoke the words. Danny watched as Lindsey scrabbled across the lab on hands and knees opening and shutting cupboards.

"We making a smoke bomb here Mac?" Danny asked quietly. A burst of gun fire erupted above them, destroying the silence. The phone in Danny's hand went dead, staring at it for a brief second, before tossing it onto the floor. Meanwhile Lindsey stirred the components together, Danny seeing her add the final chemical took the mixture from her hands. She looked at him, trust in her eyes, he couldn't help but feel that this alone was his decision to make. He sure as hell hoped he didn't get them all killed.


	102. Chapter 102: Talking in Lifts

Chapter One Hundred and Two

_You can look, but you can't touch  
I don't think I like you much  
Heaven knows what a girl can do  
Heaven knows what you've got to prove_

_Garbage – Paranoid_

The Elevator

The elevator had been still for a total of 17 minutes now and we were sitting on opposite ends, drinking our coffee. Somewhere in the past few minutes Taylor had got me talking about Flack's proposal. She was the first person I found myself telling to my surprise.

"An you said…" she prompted, her eyes on my over the coffee cup she had encases in her hands.

"There wasn't time to think, all that stuff had happened and then there it was, he's kneeling on the floor, and I don't know what I'm supposed to say, his pager goes of at the same point as I say need time. More time has turned into two months, and I know he's getting antsy, but he doesn't want to pressure me. And then there are all these crazy shifts with both of us at work, so even if I wanted to bring it up I couldn't because there's no time. I just…I really don't want to hurt him." I confessed peeling the cardboard off the outside of the cup. Taylor didn't say anything for a few minutes and I didn't look at her.

"Sounds like your delaying saying the word "no"." She said finally. I bent my head now, twisting and bending the plastic lid in my fingers.

"Why did you and Don break up?" I asked her curious. I looked up as Taylor met my gaze.

"We were just really great friends, we had our share of disagreements, part of it was work amongst other tings. Deep down we knew we weren't meant for each other. The whole Carla thing had just blown up for him, he was still messed up at the time, and I was in pretty much the same position. So I guess it was a mutual comfort thing. And then there are the ghosts." She gave me a wry smile.

"He couldn't get around the fact that I knew stuff about cases that nobody could of known, and he didn't believe that I was actually seeing the ghosts until one acted out towards him, it got to the point where we both pretty much decided that it wasn't going to work at the same time and the break up was a clean one." I nodded at her honesty and then sipped my coffee. There was an awkward silence.

"You ever meet Carla?" I asked after swallowing.

"Yea nasty piece of work." Taylor said I watched as she realized something.

"You changed the subject!" she commented. I stare at her for a second.

"We were talking about you and Don and you changed it." I covered a small smile as she shook her head, and then held her hand up.

"One, he'll stick by you through thick and thin." One finger went down.

"Two, we know he's committed, he undoubtedly thinks the world of you. After him and Carla split up he said there was no way in hell that he was going to get married, she hurt him really deeply, so for him to be proposing is a big thing." She took a sip of her coffee.

"So there's a another reason that your not telling me, as to why you want to say no." she pointed out. I gave her a grim smile before tipping my head back against the elevator and looked up at the ceiling.

"I was married once before." I said into the air, I closed my eyes as the memories began to return one by one.

"It was to a guy I knew in college, he turned out to be part of a gang. He killed someone one night; it was pretty brutal what he did to me… I put him away for attempted murder. He got out of prison early but he's dead now." I paused for a second, opening my eyes still fixed on the rivets of the ceiling.

"After that… I just … you know, I never thought I'd get married again, but then all the stuff that's happened with the baby, and Don stood by me all the way through it. I don't know if I could ever trust someone enough to make that leap of faith ever again." I admitted, running a hand through my hair.

"Don isn't your ex husband." Taylor said gently.

"And he's not gonna wait forever either. It's not fair asking him to." I said looking at Taylor who simply nodded. There was a sudden jerk, as the elevator shifted. I exchanged a look with Taylor as the lights flickered on once, and then on fully. We both clambered to our feet grinning.

"We have movement!" Taylor exclaimed, hitting the button for the 35th Floor.


	103. Chapter 103: An Echo

Chapter One Hundred and Three

_You're a heart attack  
And your heart is black  
It's whack your mind is jacked  
How did anybody ever get like that?_

_Darren Hayes –Heart Attack_

In The Lab

Lindsey's eyes were on Danny, wide and trusting as he took the chemicals from her hands.

"I want you to stay down ok?" he murmured softly. Lindsey drew her service weapon, before touching Danny's hand gently.

"I'll cover you." Was her only answer. Before she could even think Danny had forced the mixture into her hands and was on his feet in an instant, stepping around the work surface they had been hiding behind. The word "distraction" flashed in her mind as she realized Danny's plan.

"Throw the gun forward, hands on your head Messer." The broad New York accent was instantly recognizable. Danny did as he was told taking another step forward.

"Why you come here of all places Sonny?" Danny called out towards the two masked men. They faced him guns pointed unshaken at his chest height.

"You know why I'm doing this Messer, I got a life sentence waiting for me back there, figured I'd get a little revenge while I was out. Got a few scores to settle."

"You did all this for me Sonny, I am flattered." Danny replied, eyes meeting Sonny's. Sonny shook his head, before tearing off his mask and starring at Danny full on, his features twisted in a smirk.

"Where's Carmen? We wanna get her to join this little get together; got someone here she hasn't seen in a while." Sonny gestured towards his partner. Danny shrugged his apology.

"She left a while ago, no one's seen her since, too bad you missed her Sonny…" Behind the two masked men the elevator let out a tiny ring, cutting Danny off as the doors began to open.

In The Lift

"Carmen! Look Out!" Taylor's body collided with mine as I stood in front of the doors that had begun to open. I felt a sharp burst of pain in my head as we hit the wall of the elevator. Without barely a second to breathe, bullets rained into the elevator as we both slid to the floor covering our heads with our arms. Adrenaline ran through me, as I drew my own gun, before spotting the thick red on my hands. I turned my head slightly towards my companion.

"Taylor?" I whispered, I could hear the quaking in it. She shifted slightly into a sitting position, clutching her arm.

"I think it grazed me." She muttered, grinding her teeth. I let out the tiniest sigh, knowing that whoever was firing was probably stepping closer as we spoke.

"Your bleeding." She hissed at me as I started to clumber to my feet, a little dizzy. Another burst of gunfire rained into the elevator, just about missing us. My heart was in my chest, while I puzzled over the situation.

"Taylor, stay down." I murmured, creeping up to the panel where I'd hit my head, just next to the elevator doors. I heard a shout go up through the air as smoke began to fill the elevator, form the lab. From the smell I guessed home made smoke bomb. Nice.

I broke cover and moved to the person who was spluttering in front of me. From the looks of things the smoke bomb had hit him straight in the chest, dousing him with chemicals. I pushed the gun to the back of his head, making sure he could feel it under that balaclava.

"Put the gun down right now, I won't hesitate to blow your brains out." I was impressed by how calm I sounded even to my own ears. The gun fell from his hands as he raised them to the back of his head. I was vaguely aware of movement next to me. Mac's voice boomed through the smoky atmosphere.

"I've got Sonny." Relief burst in my chest as I heard those words. Stella was already beside me cuffing the masked man's hands, he did very little to resist. He was seemingly dejected.

"Let's see who we've got here." Stella muttered. I frowned as the masked man seemed to spin to face me on his own accord, challenging me even.

As Stella tore off the black balaclava, I found myself unable to suppress the shivers that were running up and down my spine as I found myself staring into an echo of Mathew's cold dead eyes.


	104. Chapter 104: Wedding Day Bliss

Chapter One Hundred and Four

_Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married  
Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married_

_The Dixie Cups – Going to the Chapel_

Nine Years Ago

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Carmen Devine and Mathew Stobbart." The register's voice boomed though the vacant room. There were only five of us here. Besides Mathew, my self and the register, Sonny and Mathew's cousin Gregory were here too as witnesses.

Mathew glanced up catching me smiling at him and returned it with a wide grin. I clenched the bouquet of red roses tighter in my hand, they were the only flowers the florist had had on sale that day. The dress I was wearing was nothing special, it was the only white thing I owned, the point of today was that I was getting married, I didn't need a big ceremony to show my love for Mathew. It didn't matter if the ring, he was slipping on my finger, was gold when he knew I preferred silver, it was the gesture that counted.

The only disappointment was that Danny hadn't been able to make it. His exam timetable clashed with date the register had given us a few days go, a last minute cancellation had come through and we couldn't change the dates. Although I had tried.

I tilted my head up, feeling a blush spread across my cheeks as Mathew squeezed my hand. I smiled at my fiancé, no, my husband now. I was so happy I was going to be spending the rest of my life with this man. He leaned into me, his eyes on mine as he muttered the words.

"Til death do us apart."


	105. Chapter 105: Just a Civilian

**AN: Sorry these are so short and in dribs and drabs guys. I have a lot of work on at the min, so it's hard to get around to writng some stuff up. I pormise I'll try and be more regular. SO how are all you guys latley? Thanks to all the reviewers here. **

Chapter One Hundred and Five

_Well it's a big big city and the lights are all out  
But it's much as I can do you know to figure you out  
And I must confess, my hearts in broken pieces  
And my heads a mess_

_The Fratellis – Whistle For the Choir_

We were sitting in the break room now, my head whirring with the memories I'd formulated from the very few months I'd spent married to Mathew, and my involvement with his cousin Greg. Stella was dabbing at my head with the alcohol as I cringed at the stinging sensation.

"You can take a shot to the shoulder but not having some solution dubbed on your head. Carmen Devine you're a strange woman." Stella smiled as she continued to clean the cut on my head. I rolled my eyes in the direction of Taylor who was looking at me pretty sheepishly.

"I didn't mean to push you so hard." Taylor muttered as I winced again, my hands sliding under the seat to grab the metal.

"Rather you pushing me than a bullet, you saved my life back there." I told her before grinding my teeth as the wound began to sting again.

"That looks nasty." I glanced up to see Flack leaning in the doorway, eyes on my head, his arms folded, he looked tired.

"It could have been worse" I said, giving him a comforting once over. He was still ok, still the same.

"So I hear, is everyone else ok?" His eyes strayed to Stella and then Taylor, who gave him a small smile and a nod.

"Everyone's a little shaken up but we'll live." Stella replied before standing up and staring at my head.

"As far as I can tell it doesn't need stitches." She told me dropping the cotton wool she'd used in the bin before returning the item she'd removed from the medic pack.

"What were you doing here?" Flack was asking Taylor, his eyebrows knotting in suspicion. Last time Taylor had been here hadn't really gone down too well. She turned towards him slightly agitated.

"Taking Carmen out for coffee, well not out, out, but downstairs out." Taylor confirmed huddling in her seat. I shot him a weary look over her head as I stood up. Flack looked down, arms still crossed before he looked up and met Stella's gaze.

"Any idea how they got in?" He asked. I realized he was looking anxious.

"Unfortunately when the building got struck by lightening it shorted the electrics, that's why no alarm came on when they entered via the fire door and climbed the stairs." Stella explained to him closing the green medic kit.

"The weapons they had were stockpiled form a batch Sonny had stolen about ten years ago, Hawkes and Lindsey are retrieving those, whilst Danny and Mac interview Sonny and Gregory. Carmen however is going for coffee, aren't you Carmen." Her gaze was intent on me. I liked the idea of stepping outside; in fact I liked that idea a lot. I needed some fresh air and a space to breathe that wasn't actually inside the lab. I grabbed my bag from the table and fished out a few dollars, slipping them into the back pocket of my skirt. "You mind if I go too?" Flack said pointedly, his mouth set in a grim line as I tugged by jacket on. I studied him for a second, before giving him a puzzled look.

"Of course not." I said honestly. My gaze strayed to Taylor as I placed a hand on her shoulder. I could feel her shaking, her skin already pale.

"Thanks." I murmured to her. She raised her head to me with a tiny curve of a smile.

"Mocha, lots of sugar." She replied. I nodded my agreement and moved off towards the door. Sometime I forgot she was a civilian.


	106. Chapter 106: Coffee Cup Confessions

Chapter One Hundred and Six

_Would you look at her?_

_She's looking at me_

_She's got me thinking about her constantly_

_She carry's on without a doubt _

_I'm wondering if she's figured it out_

_I'm crazy for this girl_

_Crazy For This Girl_

He leaned across the counter in the coffee shop, his eyes on me, scanning my face. I blinked momentarily before frowning.

"Are you ok? You've seemed a little weird since you got here." I asked him with a small smile.

"Are you really ok?" he asked me quietly and suddenly I knew what he was getting at. I bowed my head slightly, the hair falling over my face before I tilted my head towards him.

"I've been better, but I've been worse too. Seeing Gregory again, having him attempting to do whatever he was trying to do I have to admit is a little startling." I admitted. Flack looked down at his hands. I knew what was running through his mind, but I didn't want to mention it, the short fall of it was I still hadn't made a decision and he was wondering how this little blast from the past was going to effect us and the current impending proposal. The truth was I didn't have an answer for him. I heard the sigh escape him.

"Brightside, at least you can leave the lab now." He said regaining his composure and looking up at me. I went along with it.

"Even if it is only to get coffee." I reminded with a gentle nudge. Flack rolled his eyes at me.

"Let me buy you a donut, my treat."

"A pink one? With sprinkles?" I asked hopefully, fluttering my eye lashes at him. Flack gave me the first grin I'd seen from him all day.

"A pink one with sprinkles." He told the cashier, still smiling. I moved closer to him, sliding under his arm, and wrapping my left arm around his waist, before cuddling into his chest. Don looked down at me surprised, before dropping a kiss onto my forehead, next to the cut.

"You never told me the real reason you and Taylor broke up." I said half heartedly after a few minutes of silence. Flack's face hardened as he looked down at me now.

"Why what did she tell you?" he asked resigned, dislodging me to pick up the coffee and the donut. I reached for the other cups and followed him to the table he had randomly selected.

"She says she sees ghosts." I said dropping down into my chair I muttered this quietly under my breath.

"The ghost of Lance Miller, told her to send me to the church." I told him slowly, not looking away from Don. He didn't flinch.

"She's sucking you in too." he said finally, sipping his own coffee.

"I made that decision to go there; she just gave me the clue. You were there with her when it started, and when her friend Maddy was killed. You know what happened." I spoke softly. Don took a deep breath and then exhaled without looking at me, I could see he was reliving the story in his head.

"One day she just woke up and started seeing things, at first I didn't believe her, no one did, but she knew things, things about the case none of us knew let alone the press. Then Maddy died and Taylor kept seeing her. In the end we were at a breaking point. We both decided it was best to go our own separate ways. I couldn't take it, through my job and her ghosts there was no private time. It didn't help that I couldn't whole heartedly believe her. It takes over your whole life and there wasn't room for both of us in there." He explained. I took a minute to mull this over.

"Do you think she sees ghosts?" I asked him stirring my coffee. He shrugged.

"She definitely sees something. Do you?" I coughed at his question.

"Your gonna think I'm crazy." I muttered, as he rose the coffee cup to his mouth. His eyes widened. I continued.

"I do believe her, when I was in that church, and she had that gun pressed to me head, I swear to God I heard Aiden's voice as clear as day next to me, telling me to fight for it. She would have shot me, but I listened to Aiden and I came out alive." Flack was still choking on his coffee.

"Aiden?" he cried incredulous, setting his cup down. "Aiden?"

I waved my hand at him in an almost dismissive manner.

"She's apparently some kind of protector person. She helps Taylor out with bad spirits. I owe her one." Flack stuck his hands up, eyes on my, a smile curving across her face.

"Whoa… back up, you Carmen Devine, the scientist, believe in all this?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"There are still things that science can't explain. Besides you were scared of the apparent haunted monastery." I pointed out.

"Aiden tell you that?" he smirked, I batted at his arm.

"Stella did." I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry, I believe you. Just don't mention it to Danny or anyone else, it'll just unsettle everyone." I snorted, biting my donut.

"Don't worry I won't be giving anyone, any more reasons to suspect I'm crazy." I told him looking into my coffee cup, before continuing.

"Your still good friends…" I remarked, as we both stood up picking up the collective amount of coffee.

"We are still good friends, I wouldn't change her for the world. But we could never…" he glanced at me, fixing me with his gaze.

"I could never go there again. Why were you worried?" he asked concerned as it dawned on him.

"I used to be, you know, but not anymore I kind of feel like Taylor's one of my own you know, and today just proves it. She had my back today." Flack held open the door for me as I went through it.

"She has a way of doing that." He clarified. I gave him a knowing grin. He clasped my hand tightly as we walked down the sidewalk, and kissed my head. I rose my eyes to meet his beautiful blue.

"Hey Flack, thanks for not thinking I'm crazy."


	107. Chapter 107: Old Flames

**AN: Hey guys. A new chapter! Thanks for all the reviews. I have a bit more time on my hands now so I can get to write a little more. My muses are back with a few more surprises. Enjoy!**

Chapter One Hundred and Seven

_One night and one more time  
Thanks for the memories  
Even though they weren't so great  
He tastes like you only sweeter_

_Fall Out Boy – Thanks for the Memories_

I was enthralled in the files in my hands, reading over the background information of my victim, Chopper had almost been a buddy of Don's, we'd met briefly for a second or two after one of his games. The man had phenomenal talent. Unfortunately he was now lying downstairs in the morgue being looked over by Doctor Sheldon Hawkes. He was covering in the absence of Sid, who'd gone on sick leave after catching a rather horrific bout of food poisoning. Horrifying in the manner that he'd managed to projectile vomit not on but almost clean over a body that had been lying on his slab in the morgue. Due to the fact it was summer and the crazies were out in full swing this time of year, we had more than our fair share of murders leading to Hawkes being "borrowed" for a small period of time until Sid recovered.

I could hear the hum of conversations around me, not paying attention to anything as I continued to read through the file searching for a scrap or hint of anything Chopper was tied to, as I tread down the corridor towards the interrogation rooms. Something hit me suddenly causing the files to spill from my hand and spreading paper across the floor. I crouched down to retrieve them almost instantly still reeling from the slight jolt I'd received. As I grabbed the bundle of paper in my hand, a pair of Newrocks were inserted into my vision. I raised my head following them up to a pair of shapely legs as I stood up, mouth working to apologize. I met her eyes and froze. By the look on the woman's face she was pretty much having the same reaction.

"Al?" I managed to choke as she stared straight back at me.

"Carmen…" she managed to mutter. It had been years since I'd seen her and she didn't appear to have changed much at all. We were still staring at each other in disbelief.

"I haven't seen you since…" she paused recovering just enough to remember that we hadn't exactly walked away on even terms.

"Yea…" I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, before looking away.

"Anyway what are you doing here?" I asked brightly, already kicking myself for asking that question. We were in a police station after all. For a second behind Al's hard exterior I saw a flash of vulnerability. I put my hand on her arm gently, studying her face.

"My girlfriend was killed…They've had to interrogate all of us." I bowed my head sympathetically.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, I genuinely meant it too. Al nodded looking at her hands as I took my hand off her arm.

"Me too." Our eyes met again as she looked up.

"So you're a cop now?" she smiled a little, looking me up and down.

"I used to be, but I'm on Crime Scene now, same job just with a little more science." I told her with a fixed smile.

"I always thought you were a little too straight for the Suicide Girls." Al commented, crossing her arms over her chest. I felt like I'd just been plunged in the deep end.

"I'm sorry…It jus wasn't for me, and besides Missy didn't like me too much." I said with a knowing look. Al chucked and nodded.

"She thought you were going to run out on me…It wasn't your fault it takes a long time to get over something like that and I thought maybe I could change it for you." Al spoke honestly.

"You helped." I told her softly, catching her gaze. I knew what I'd done to Al was one of the things I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for. Al nodded, before tilting her head a little.

"You wanna go grab coffee later?" she asked me suddenly. I froze again starring at her. No word in my head or mouth for a full few seconds.

"When this is all over then maybe we can grab a coffee." I confirmed. I saw the disappointment in her face, before she hung her head low. I reached out to touch her arm.

"Al…" she pulled away.

"Shit Carmen I'm fine, really I am." She sniffed before pulling herself together and looking me straight in the eye.

"I've gotta go meet the girls, they're waiting for me. I'll give you a call some time." Before I even had time to murmur the words goodbye she had turned her back on me and was walking away. I could still hear her pained sniffing in my ears as remnants of my past clung to me.


	108. Chapter 108: Devine Sucide

Chapter One Hundred and Eight

_Jealousy won't get you anything that you lost  
Jealousy, it will never be what it was  
Jealousy, now I'm afraid of what I've become  
Jealousy, it feels like everything's come undone_

_The Gossip – Jealous Girls_

I'd been back in my office a total of ten minutes after my chance occurrence with Al, it still whipping frantically around my head when I heard the distinct sound of my name being called.

"Hey Devine." My eyes darted up and narrowed at Danny who was now slipping into the seat across from me.

"We need to talk." His somber expression said it all. I leaned forward planting both elbows on my desk as he wordlessly took a brown manila envelope from his bag and slipped it onto the desk in front of me with his fingertips.

"What is this?" I asked in curiously pulling the envelope to me.

"Open it." I could tell Danny's eyes were on my face as I pulled at the tab of the offending piece of paper. I slide a few sheets from it and flipped them over. I felt the breath leave me, yet somehow I managed to whisper.

"Where did you get these?" I asked quietly, flicking them through the pictures, eyeing the one with me hooked around a fireman's pole, wearing an F.D.N.Y hat and a red PVC bodice and black stockings, and cringing. Devine Suicide was scrawled in italics across the bottom, that picture was going to be my debut.

"We had to search Al's apartment, this was in one of the shoe boxes we confiscated." I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on.

"Why don't you look at the others?" Danny suggested, spreading the pictures out a little more evenly. I nearly screamed as he brought two in particular to the top of the pile. The first picture was a personal one. It featured myself and Al sitting amongst a sea of feathers kissing, it was the only picture I'd ever had taken with Al during our relationship. He out that one to the bottom of the pile before showing me clad in only in white lacey underwear and blowing a kiss at the camera.

I covered my face with my hands for a second trying to shake the image away. Instantly my mind was working on damage control. I pried them away from my face and looked Danny square in the eye. His lips were pursed together grimly and he said nothing.

"Has anyone else seen these?" I asked him, raking both my hands through my hair. Danny shook his head.

"I wanted to give you a chance to explain before I went to Mac." I nodded clenching my jaw.

"You know the Goth room mate I had in college? It was Al." I told him Danny frowned as I continued.

"She was in a group called the Suicide Girls, it started off as a kind of social group but it got bigger and well, they started modeling and stuff. It was in the extra year I had to retake, you were already in the academy by then. They asked my to do a bti of backup dancing. At the time, it was something different, a bit of fun after the whole Mathew events, it helped build myself confidence, and the girls were great, they took care of me, they watch out for one another. Before I knew it I was getting an invitation to be one of them, I'm already on trial to be a Suicide Girl." I explained.

"Devine Suicide…" I met his gaze evenly before looking away.

"That was Al's idea she liked the name, she called me her angel." The words tasted bitter in my mouth.

"And this picture…" he indicated to the one of me and Al. I let my fingers stroke the glossy paper before slipping it under the others.

"We were involved once. Stumbled home drunk one night after a gig and well… it went from there. It didn't last very long, but I the end she felt more strongly than I did. So I broke it off and left the Suicide Girls before becoming an actual member. It just wasn't for me." Danny's jaw was hanging open, obviously still reeling.

"You and her…" he was still attempting to fathom it. A grin was starting to spread across his features. For a second the tension between us broke, and I felt myself starting to smile.

"I swear to God Danny Messer if you tell a soul…" the door to my office suddenly burst open causing us both to freeze, smiles still plastered on both our faces. The gust from the door blew the top picture off the desk and at the feet of the person who had entered. Danny shoved the other pictures underneath the folders on my desk, as Flack bent down to pick up the single picture. His eyes stayed fixed on it and I had the feeling of watching an impending train crash. Don's startling blue eyes rose to meet mine, his jaw clenched and he was frowning.

"At least you could of told me you weren't saying yes." He spoke quietly in a tone I'd never heard before, before screwing up the picture into his pocket and turning on his heel and storming off, slamming the door behind him. I swear I felt the whole wall vibrate. Meanwhile Danny and I sat still in shock before turning to each other.

"Does he think…" Danny began.

"The evidence was there right in front of his face." I pointed out, shoving the pictures back at Danny, letting a sigh escape me.

"Shouldn't you be going after him to tell him we're not having at affair?" Danny suggested. I felt all the energy run out of me. When I said nothing Danny was giving me a look that stated that he was dumbfounded. I rubbed my eyes.

"We've been going through a rough patch recently, and this just tipped it off. It's not that hard to him to think that I've been having an affair recently. I can understand it." I admitted, biting my bottom lip.

"Let me get this straight…Your not going to go after him and telling that your not actually having an affair?" Danny shaking his head.

"I'm in a relationship too Carmen, imagine he tells Lindsey…" the thought had just occurred to him.

"He's not gonna call her up in Montana now is he?" I shot back.

"This ain't like you Devine, you've gotta get your head straight and go find him." Danny growled pointing in the direction of the door. I rose to my feet as he did, dread filling my chest.

"I have work to do…" I murmured. Danny looked like he wanted to smack me. Instead he picked up the bundle of pictures off my desk.

"Get this sorted by the end of the day Carmen or I will." I was left watching his back as he stomped from the room.


	109. Chapter 109: Only Young Once

Chapter One Hundred and Nine

_Well I can't explain why it's not enough  
Coz I gave it all to you  
And if you leave me now  
Oh just leave me now  
It's the better thing to do_

_James Morrison – Pieces Don't Fit_

I was pacing towards the Homicide department at an alarming speed, the corridor speeding past me as I did so. My heart was pounding as I reached the double set of doors. Danny was right of course, I couldn't just leave something like this to fester especially with the way things had been recently. I pushed open the doors and let my eyes search over the heads of every single detective in that room until I found the familiar mop of Flack. Unfortunately I could see some curly dark hair too, in a startlingly close proximity to Flack's. In fact Detective Jennifer Angell was standing far to close to my partner for my liking. He was leaning back against his desk and she was leaning forward, almost pressing against him. I could practically see the sexual tension simmering between them. I closed my eyes momentarily, and then opened them. Nope they were still there. Before I realized what I was doing I had turned on my heel and was storming my way down the corridor.

Metallica was blaring in my head phones as I studied the Trace evidence from Chopper's murder case. I didn't have to focus on the song or the lyrics the noise was enough to clear the thinking that I would have occupied my mind. Speed had given it to me for my birthday with that knowing smile "For when you get angry at the world", he'd said. Hell, I knew what that felt like. I focused on the sample in front of me, bobbing my head in response to the music. A shadow fell across my desk causing me to start. I jumped tearing off my head phones and staring up at the shadow maker in question startled.

"Heavy metal and deep focus, something is very wrong in the world of Carmen Devine." Stella chuckled as I tried to calm my racing heart.

"I'm just busy." I said tidying the desk around me without looking back at her. I felt myself under scrutiny. Stella lent on surface of my desk and gave me a kind smile.

"You really expect me to believe that?" she asked pointedly. I rolled my eyes.

"No…" I mumbled. Stella gave me a sympathetic look before bowing her head for a second.

"It have anything to do with the fact that Detective Angell's pretty much been all over Flack since she got here?" I found myself starring at her in surprise.

"You're not the only one that's noticed, we wouldn't be CSIs if we weren't perceptive." Stella pointed out. I looked down at the microscope in front of me and sighed.

"Well she is beautiful." I felt myself being studied for a second.

"What's gotten into you? He asked you to marry him, not anyone else you."

"I haven't exactly given him an answer yet." I breathed. "It's been about four months now."

Stella tilted her head in my direction.

"You haven't made up your mind yet?" she asked, I knew with Stella whatever I said was going to go no further.

"I think I've been putting it off, he's been more than patient, but I'm not sure… I don't think I'm ready yet. The thing is we haven't been able to spend that much time with each other, we're always working, there's no time for us as a couple." I confessed rubbing my eyes.

"Then make time, right now you're done enough overtime, and the lab's not that busy. Take the afternoon off, I'll clear it with Mac." I resisted the urge to spring from my seat and hug her.

"Your sure?" I asked rising to my feet. Stella nodded, encouraging me further by making a shooing motion with her hand. I shrugged the lab coat off and hung it up on the peg as Stella continued talking.

"Flack's shift is finishing about now." She said checking her watch and standing up.

"Go spend some time with him, do something romantic, I bet you haven't even had a chance to christen all those rooms yet." I blushed as she smirked at me knowingly. I stifled a laugh.

"You're definitely sure?" I asked as I reached for the door handle.

"You're only young once." Was her reply.


	110. Chapter 110: Seeing Is Believeing

Chapter One Hundred and Ten

_And I can easily understand  
How you could easily take my man  
But you dont know what he means to me, jolene_

_Dolly Parton – Jolene_

My initial plan was to catch Flack in the parking lot, so we could catch a ride home together. There'd be no point of heading straight to his desk because the likeliness would be that I'd have missed him. The elevator doors opened as I had my hand buried in my hand bag searching for my lip gloss, that I'd put in there at some point. Ahh there it was, I could see it nestled between my purse and caught under my cell. I was still walking towards the car, attempting to untangle myself when I heard the low murmur of voices. Lip gloss in hand I rose my head and that's when I saw them. Flack was against our car, smiling at Angell who in turn was now leaning forward, I watched as her body pressed against his. She tilted her head upwards, and closed her eyes as their lips met. Then as she pulled away I heard her words drift over the parking lot like a melody.

"Maybe we can take this back to your place?"

I felt sick. The lip gloss dropped from my hand, clattering to the ground as I turned on my heel and strode towards the elevator, trying to take in everything I had just seen. I didn't even have to wait for the elevator. The doors opened as I pressed the button, and I hurried inside in time to hear Flack calling my name.

"Carmen, wait Carmen." I turned to see him running towards the closing doors of the elevator, tears in my eyes. I jabbed the close button more furiously. My chest was hurting and I found all sorts of questions whipping around my head as the doors closed in his face. For a second I didn't know what to do. What button to press or where to go. I sniffed quietly as the elevator appeared to make the decision itself, and began to move to the next floor. I swallowed hard, blinking rapidly trying to hold back all the emotion until I could fathom it, until I was alone. I never expected this of Don. Never in a million years would I have thought he'd cheat on me. Was this my fault? Was he doing it in spite because of what he thought about me and Danny?

The lift stopped suddenly. I looked down at the bag I was holding in front of me, I could still hear myself sniffing,, the burning in my eyes was threatening to overwhelm me. I glanced up as Sheldon stepped in pressing the button for Morgue, reading a file and humming to himself. I don't think he actually knew I was there. I sniff escaped me, as the doors closed, and I cursed myself as he lowered the file he was reading.

"Hey are you ok?" his rich voice asked.

For a single second his eyes met mine with compassion and concern, then that was it I burst in to tears.

"Whoa… Carmen what's wrong?" he said softly. He slipped an arm around my shoulders pulling me close. I couldn't talk for sobbing. The lift stopped and I found myself being whisked through the morgue and into his office. I found myself sitting on the little bed he'd set up in there, crying into his chest. His arms were wrapped around me as I gripped the back of his shirt.

"Hey, come on now, it'll be ok." He said patting my head.

"No… it won't." I said between sobs. "He's going to sleep with Angell, I saw them…kissing and they were going go back…to our place…but they saw me."

A new wave of sobs wracked me as Hawkes took a moment to understand my broken speech.

"You'll have to talk to him about it you know…" The tears were stopping now. I drew back, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I felt weary; my mind was beginning to the initial pain that had shocked me.

"You look tired." He said softly.

Hawke's eyes were on me, as his pager went off. I gave him a knowing nod. His gaze was still on me.

"You can stay here until your ready, if anything comes up I'll come and get you." He promised. I had to admit the idea of just settling down for a few minutes was enticing. I felt tired and drained. I nodded my response, feeling weary. As I lay down on the bunk I felt my eyes flutter closed as Hawkes pulled the blanket over me.


	111. Chapter 111: A Second Opinion

**AN:**** Hey peeps it's time for an update. I've handed in my last essay so I'm home free, so expect a few more chapters! Thanks as usual to all the reviews, they keep this story alive, and all you lurkers, thanks for reading. x**

Chapter One Hundred and Eleven

_She swore that she loved me no never would she leave me  
But the devil take that woman,_

_Yeah, for you know she tricked me easy_

_Metallica – Whiskey in the Jar_

Flack

He burst into the lab breathless from rushing up from the parking lot to the lab. His eyes searched frantically for her over the heads of the many members of the lab. This was the only place he'd thought she's come. Stella stepped towards him a pleasant smile on her face.

"You just missed Carmen; I sent her home to spend some time with you.2 she remarked eyes twinkling. Don groaned inwardly, today had been getting worse and worse. From having to let the child killer go, to Angell, Carmen and Danny and now this. Flack shook his head, his lips pursed together, as Stella began to look him up and down. She crossed her arms over her chest, frowning.

"What have you done?" she asked, reading his body language. Flack diverted his gaze.

"Donald Flack!" Stella said exasperated. Flack's stubbornness faded under the Greek's intense gaze.

"She saw…" he paused unsure how to word it without it sounding as bad as it was.

"She saw Angell kissing me."

Stella stared at him blankly for a second, clearly not expecting this response before she began to piece things together.

"She ran away and I can't find her." He added quietly looking down at his hands, he was ashamed of what he'd done but at the same time he'd sensed for a few months now that things were coming to ahead, the photograph he'd found was only the tip of the iceberg. It was the final thing to set everything off.

"And now you're wondering where she is?" Stella asked as Hawkes drew up next to them, glasses perched on the end of his nose, waving a set of files in Stella's direction. He caught the last part of the sentence. His eyes studied them both.

"Where who is?" he asked the expression on his face cautious.

"Carmen." Stella stated, nodding in Flack's direction.

"She's downstairs asleep in my bunk." Hawkes said, studying the files in front of him to avoid Flack's gaze. For a second Flack saw red, before his brain kicked into gear. Catching the look on Flack's face, Hawkes held up his hands in surrender.

"Hey, I haven't touched her, I wouldn't dream about taking advantage of her in that state." Hawkes murmured, his facial features hardened. It hit Flack that despite the fact his friends were trying not to be judgemental; they were in fact still blaming him. Flack snapped.

"She's screwing Danny." He uttered, clenching his jaw tightly.

"Angell kissed me, but Carmen's been screwing Danny behind my back. I proposed to her and she didn't have the decency to refuse instead she started fucking my best friend." He burst out. He was shouting now, all the hurt and rage was bubbling to the surface, his voice beginning to crack.

"Are you sure? I mean can you be a hundred percent sure because she's been down there sobbing her heart out." Hawkes admitted, studying Flack's face. Stella was drawing them into the break room to make the conversation more private. She urged Flack towards a solitary chair while she and Hawkes leaned on the work surface. Don rubbed his hands on his face.

"I thought she'd just been working all these extra shifts, until I saw this." He took the picture out of his pocket and threw the screwed up ball across the table towards them. Stella picked up the picture and un-folded it, smoothing it on the table. Stella's eyes widened, while Hawkes whistled.

"Danny had this?" Hawkes asked incredulously. Flack turned his head away.

"Dropped it right on the floor." Flack told them, leaning back in the chair and running a hand through his hair.

"You need to talk to them about this, I mean both of them. When was the last time you think something happened?" Stella said with a suspicious glint in her eye. Flack hesitated for a second thinking.

"The day before yesterday, Carmen was working extra hours. I was coming in as she was going out."

"She wasn't with Danny then, she was with me we were working on the Moretti case, you know the Mob one, she's been doing all the secondary evidence on it. That's your case isn't it?" Stella remarked. Flack tilted his head.

"I'm working the morning shift on it, I'm out and about al the time chasing leads and contacts..."

"I think you also over estimating Danny's photography skills here, the guy's good with a camera but he ain't this good. This looks professional." Hawkes said pointing at the photograph. Flack watched as Stella began to analyse the photo her eyes lingering over it.

"The gun shot scars not there, and she looks a lot thinner, you know in the unhealthy way." She turned it towards Flack, who in turn studied it.

"You think her and Danny were lovers before you and her got together." Hawkes asked Flack, attempting to come up with a suitable conclusion. Stella answered for him.

"They're both pretty adamant that they've always been friends, why hide it?" Stella argued.

"Also I've been working a lot of cases with them both myself recently, the Moretti case is taking up everyone's time at the minute." She said pointedly.

"The only way to solve this is to go straight to the horse's mouth." Stella continued. Flack took the photo in his hand and returned it to his pocket.

"And by that I'm suggesting Danny. Carmen's upset at the minute it's best giving her a little time to cool down." Stella continued as Flack stood up resigned.

"You think so?" he asked, putting his full trust in Stellas' advice.

"It's the only way this mess is gonna get cleared up."


	112. Chapter 112: Asking

Chapter One Hundred and Twelve

_Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way._

_My Chemical Romance – I'm Not Okay_

"Danny, I need a word." Flack uttered shutting the door behind him. Danny was hunched over the work surface, staring into a microscope. He pulled away from it, rubbing the bridge of his nose. A head ache was building behind his eyes.

"Does it have to be right now Flack? I'm a little busy here." Danny replied, raising his eyes as ended the sentence. Flack's eyes went to the pictures of the scantly clad Goth women spread across the table, and for the first time that day he smiled just a little.

"Maybe I should become a CSI." He said tilting his head to get a better view. Danny chuckled before his face became solemn again. He straightened folding his lab coat covered arms over his chest. He fixed Flack with a straight gaze.

"What's this about Flack?" Danny asked pointedly. Flack bent his head, his hand reaching into his pocket and taking out the scrunched up picture, he flattened it out as Stella had on the work surface, and pushed it towards Danny.

"It's about this Danny and why you had it." Danny's gaze shifted to the picture before he looked away.

"You should be talking to Carmen, you know that Don?" Danny said pushing his glasses further up the ridge of his nose. Flack put his palms on the surface and stared at Danny.

"I'm talking to you." Danny let out a sigh and opened his mouth to speak, the words slipped out calmly as he fixed his eyes on his friend.

"Flack I really think…" Flack's temper snapped.

"Spare me the crap Danny, are you sleeping together?" he yelled through grinded teeth. Danny's jaw dropped, as Flack's accusation stood still in the air between them.

"What, you think I've slept with her? You think I'd sleep with my best friend's possible fiancée. Where the hell do you get off man?"

"Then explain this to me Danny because I'm seeing an awful lot of my girl friend's flesh on this picture Danny, a picture I know came from you." Don pointed at the picture; Danny's eyes never flickered from Flack's face.

"Talk to Carmen Flack, it's your business not mine." Danny retorted attempting to keep his own cool.

"When you have a picture of my girlfriend in her underwear I think that makes it your business don't you?" Flack was shouting, the frustration rushing through him.

"Carmen ever tell you about the Suicide Girls?" Flack stopped dead, perplexed by the sudden change of conversation.

"The Suicide what now?"

"The Suicide girls, Nixon, Rizzo, Al…" Danny's eyes narrowed. "Ask her Flack, ask Carmen about Al." flack shook his head, struggling to understand.

"Is that an old boyfriend or something…"

"Ask Carmen about it Flack."

"That doesn't explain this picture Danny," Flack jabbed at the photo.

"It will. Trust me Flack it will." There was a silence as the two men stared each other off for a brief minute before Flack turned on his heel and stalked from the Lab.


	113. Chapter 113: Final Answer

**AN: Blah I just strained my thigh when I went out for a run and it's painful as hell, so I thought while I have to sit down, I'd let you guys have another chapter!**

Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen

_Well, Ive been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
Im getting older too  
Well..._

_Dixie Chicks – Landslide_

The night skyline was still as beautiful as when we'd spent the first night out here on the balcony. The quilt from the bedroom was wrapped around me tightly, as I sat wrapped up in it's warmth , gazing at the vision that was New York. I had to face him sometime, but the image of her kissing him was prominent in my head. Everytime I closed my eyes it was there.

Had I always expected him to wait?

No one could be expected to wait that long, his patience would have had to run out at some point. The signs had been coming but I'd just ignored them.

I heard his key turning in the lock. I heard his footsteps as he walked through the living room and into the bedroom. Then he sat on the bed and kicked off his shoes. For a second there was no noise. I imagined his head in his hands. The french windows leading to the blacony were open and in a matter of minutes he was standing in the door way calling my name softly. I couldn't make myself look at him. Flack dropped down into the chair next to me, his hands clasped together in front of him.

"I never thought we'd end up like this." I said, keeping my gaze forward as he looked at his hands. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his head turn to me.

"Carmen, I need you to explain this picture to me, I need to know if there's anything going on, between you and anyone else, we need to get this out in the open."

"Like you and Angell. Where have you done it Don? Did you do it on our bed? The sofa? On our kitchen table?" I hissed.

I knew I was being unreasonable but all the hurt that had pierced me had ebbed out in those words. I finished my rant with these next words…

"I'm not sleeping with Danny." He studied my face before replying.

"And I'm not screwing Angell. She kissed me and I admit I kissed her back, because I was upset and angry because I thought you were fucking Danny and you didn't have the heart to turn me down." He said, looking out across the skyline. My eyes went to him analyzing his face as he continued.

"Danny said to ask you about Al, he said it would explain the picture. Who is he?" I clenched my jaw and bowed my head for a second knowing that now Don was watching me.

"She, Al is a girl." I could see the cogs turning in his head as he formulated this.

"Woah…" he murmured as he worked it out.

"Did you…with…a girl." I rolled my eyes at his surprise and couldn't help but smile as the mood lightened a bit.

"What is it with guys and the whole lesbian thing?" Don shook his head a small grin spreading across his face.

"I'm just surprised that's all, why didn't you tell me, and how'd this picture get into Danny's hands?" I took a deep breath before telling him.

"After Matt, I went back to college, Danny was already in the acedemy then. Al was the person I room shared with. She was a great help through everything and one night it became more than just friends. She made me feel safe and sexy, but it didn't really work out, that life style wasn't for me." Then I explained about the case and I could see the pieces slotting together in Don's mind.

"Nice to see you jumping to conclusions about me though isn't it Don?" I finished bitterly. Flack's eyes narrowed.

"What did you expect this picture suddenly comes out of nowhere from Danny's hands, would you prefer me to not care about wheather or not your sleeping with other people?" he snapped.

"I would of thought that maybe you would of cared enough to ask me." I retorted.

"I was hurt and angry, what did you expect? Me to just hold my hands up and let you get on with it? Seriously that was never gonna happen."

"You should have asked me, and I would of told you everything."

"The truth is Carmen you've been so closed off lately, I'm not even sure you would have me."

I folded my arms over my chest.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that ever since I proposed you've shut me out, I mean completely. I don't know what's going on with you or in your head anymore."

I opened my mouth to speak, to defend myself but no words came out.

"I feel like you've completely distanced yourself from me, I mean I want this to work so badly, but it can't if your not letting me in."

"Are we?" he hesitated, his startling blue eyes woeful. My chest clenched.

"Are we still in love? It's been four months since I asked you to marry me and you still haven't given me an answer. We still haven't even talked about it. I wanted to give you some space and not pressure you, but the truth is it's not fair. I've given you everything that I can and I feel like your trying to shut me out. I never thought I'd be proposing to someone ever again." I entwined my fingers on my lap, feeling disheartened as he spoke.

"I…I don't know what to say to you anymore. Ever since you proposed I've just felt so confused. I mean part of me wants to so badly it's tearing me up, but the other part just keeps remebering Mathew, and I just can't make myself get past that. It scares me. I thought he was a completely different person and then it's like he changed. I'm just really scared that marriage will destroy what we have, and I don't want it too." I looked at him feeling the tension begin to ease a little.

"I love you Don, I really do. I'm terrifyed I've screwed this up. I just, I need to know why you proposed." I was grimacing as I spoke, realizing how awful I sounded.

Don shook his head as I spoke.

"After everything that happened, I just… I wanted to show you how much you meant to me." He tried to explain.

"I thought moving in together was a pretty big commitment, that means a lot to me." I said pointedly.

"You're the only person I can ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. You're the only one that has ever really understood everything about me. I feel like you're a part of me, every single time something's come up, I've been absoutely terrified that I was going to lose a part of myself. I think…I think that you're my soul mate. It scares the crap out of me, but at the same time I know I couldn't do this with out you. I know you've been through hell and back Carmen, espacially in regards to marriage, but you have to remember there is no way on this earth that I would ever do anything to hurt you. I love you too much." Don's fingers were stroaking my face. I kissed his hand gently. To my surprise he dropped down onto one knee in front of me.

"I'm gonna ask you again Carmen, I promise for the last time…Carmen Devine will you marry me?"


	114. Chapter 114: News Flash

**AN: Sorry I've kept you guys waiting it's been crazy here with RL. Anyway enjoy this chapter and see what happens! Thanks also to Sparky for being a fantastic and quick beta. Champagne glass out to her!**

**Part 8**

Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen

_Drinking back, drinking for two  
Drinking with you  
And drinking was new_

_You made me feel like the one  
Made me feel like the one  
The one  
You made me feel like the one  
Made me feel like the one  
The one_

_Stereophonics – Dakota_

The bar was chaotically busy and as usual Ray had found us our usual spot and kept it free. It was a rarity we were all out togetherThe whole team was working on a tip off Flack had received lately about the Mob through a contact of his. We were working around the clock trying to work out all the details. Flack had managed to pull me up onto the dance floor and was twirling me to an indie song from the juke box in the corner. I grinned as he pulled me to him.

"I think it's time we tell them." He whispered in my ear, as his arm encircled my waist. I grinned nodding my approval.

As the song ended Flack led me back to the table as Danny returned with another pitcher of beer and began to pour it into Lindsey's half empty glass. I picked up my own empty one and rocked it back and forth until he filled it. Danny dropped into his seat as an eruption of laughter went up concluding the story Mac was telling. Stella rose her head noticing that both me and Flack were still standing. He slipped his arm round my shoulders I rested my head on his chest.

"We have an announcement to make." Flack motioned as all heads on our table began to turn in our direction.

"I proposed to Carmen, and she's agreed to be my wife!" There was a small screeching sound from Lindsey and Stellaas they jumped to they're feet rushing towards us. I was in Stella's arms as I saw Mac push back his chair and move at Flack.

"Oh my God, you said yes, you finally said yes." Somewhere along the line Lindsey's arms had become entwined around us both and we were all jumping up and down for joy. "Hey you two go hug Flack, I wanna congratulate Devine here." Danny said prodding them both. Lindsey stuck her tongue out be fore pouncing at Flack who had just finished shaking Mac's hand. I heard his exclaim of "Down girl." as Danny pulled me into a hug.

"Congratulations." He murmured. He pulled back and ruffled my hair. "Let's make it better than the first one eh?"

I nodded unable to stop smiling.

"Definitely."

Mac was up next; he kissed my cheek and stared into my eyes.

"I'm so proud of you. Your going to be really happy." He told me, gripping my shoulders. As Mac stepped away Sheldon took his place.

"Your going to make a beautiful bride Carmen." He told me, the affection in his voice showed in the way he held me.

"Thank you." I uttered as we both pulled away. I turned to Flack as Danny shook hands with him.

"I can't believe you're leaving us bachelors." He muttered playfully.

Lindsey punched his arm laughing. There was a loud throat clearing further down the table as Mac held up his glass for a toast.

"To the soon to be newlyweds!"


	115. Chapter 115: The Wedding Planner

Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen

_How could this be done  
Your such a smiling sweetheart  
Oh and your sweet and pretty face  
In such an ugly way  
Something so beautiful  
That every time I look inside_

I know that she knows that I'm not fond of asking  
True or false it may be  
She's still out to get me

_The Kooks – Naïve_

The woman in front of me was smiling so much I thought her face would crack under the sheer voltage of it. I was finding myself slightly unnerved by the blonde's fearsome enthusiasm for planning weddings.

"So this is y'allsfirst wedding?" The accent would have worked well if she hadn't been born and bred in New York. I blushed for a second before raising my hand.

"Kind of a second for me!" I murmured sheepishly. Her doe brown eyes fixed me, narrowing a little before moving on.

"Now I can see you being a winter bride." The smile was blinding me again. I interrupted her speech.

"Actually we were thinking more autumn…" she cut me off.

"And of course you can't get married in a church because well…" she indicated at me, I took a deep breath as she continued.

"But I have the perfect little registry office for you." She erupted, clasping her hands together. My eyes widened in horror.

"We were thinking of a hotel…" I begun.

"And I can so imagine you in a strapless number, you know in that fifties style that's so popular right now, I'm thinking olive green would be an excellent color with your skin tone." I stared at her now speechless. I was absolutely horrified; I was also fighting the urge to either knock her out with the vase of tulips on her desk or run away screaming. Fortunately, before I could make that decision, Don took control of the situation. He interrupted her as she spouted off about invites and daisies.

"Can we just have a moment?" he uttered politely.

"Sure…you hurry back now; we have a lot of work to do." I shuddered as Flack took my hand and pulled me to my feet and through the doorway. Closing the door behind us, we stood in silence for a few minutes, trying to collect ourselves uneasily.

I ran my hand through my hair, almost feeling an attack of the shakes coming on.

"Was that…?" I started still mortified. I met Flack's eyes as he nodded, his arms crossing his chest.

"Scary as hell." He concluded. I felt shell shocked as the words slipped out.

"I don't want to be a winter bride." I whined. A smile started across his lips.

"We could just organize the wedding ourselves, otherwise we're gonna be locked in an uphill battle with her." He jerked his thumb at the closed door. Don stepped forward putting his hands on my arms and stroking them up and down soothingly.

"The guys can help us if we need it, and this was just an option we were testing out any way." he reminded me. I felt a grin spread across my face. I loved the fact he was taking such an interest in the wedding.

"Now what are we going to do about her?" he asked me nodding in the direction of the door. I took his hand pulling him in the direction of the exit.

"Let's make a run for it"


	116. Chapter 116: Help Wanted

Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen

_She feels electric, _

_To the touch _

_Sugar coated lemon drop, _

_Is how she looks _

_Strange and eclectic, _

_A little much _

_Every second counts, _

_Before your time is up_

_Reamonn - She's a Bomb_

"So you guys just ran out?!" Lindsey exclaimed, sipping her cocktail and snorting with laughter. It was the first chance I'd had to talk to them since making the announcement. It was cocktail night and as usual we were mildly intoxicated. I gulped from my blue assortment of alcohol and giggled.

"Seriously you guys should of seen this chic, I mean there is no way anyone can be that upbeat without the aid of drugs or alcohol and I swear she was planning her own wedding, she wanted me to wear one of those knee length 50's things." I regaled, shaking my head. Stella shook her head in disgust.

"Pure tacky and in winter? Definitely a no." she agreed. I relaxed, grinning at my fashion knowing friend. I leaned back in my chair.

"Hence we made a run for it; seriously I thought I was going to have to crack her over the head with the lamp or something." I informed them.

"She just kept interrupting me." I paused for a second before continuing.

"I was wondering…well, we're going to need help. So I was wondering if you guys would help me plan it?" I was flushing with embarrassment at not being able to plan my own wedding. I guess most brides did it but I wasn't one of those girls.

"I know we all have work and stuff. I want it to be better than last time more refined and stuff, and I don't think I could do it all on my own…" Stella raised a hand stifling my babbling.

"I'd love to, Linds, you in?" Stella asked to the already nodding Lindsey.

"The first thing you need is to sort out a date, you have an ideal time?" Stella asked me grabbing the pitcher of Green Lagoon in front of us and pouring into each of our glasses.

"I definitely want an autumn wedding, I was thinking September, maybe afternoon so we can relax and be pampered before hand."

"I also wanted a hotel wedding; me and Don have a few in mind. SO we'll be sorting that part out." I informed them. The bell rung for last call in the background.

In response to this Lindsey rose to her feet and tread towards the bar for her round.

I glanced around before realising that Stella was leaning back in her chair staring at me thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked feeling nervous and picking up my own glass to mask my flushing.

"I was just thinking about the invites, I have a friend in printing, if we make an original invite, it would save you a fortune in printing for him to do it." My eyes lit up at this.

"Really?!" Stella nodded.

"I'll get in contact with him first thing tomorrow and let you know."

"Thanks seriously, there was no way I'd be able to do this on my own without having some form of mental freak out." I confessed. Stella grinned shaking her head as Lindsey approached apparently also full of questions.

"You thought whose gonna be in your wedding party?" I nodded vigorously.

"You and Stella are of course the bridesmaids, Eva's flying in to be the third one. I think Don's asking Danny to be the best man; Sheldon and Nick Henderson are going to be the other ushers."

"What about your sister's kids?" Lindsey asked thoughtfully. I shook my head.

"We decided no flower girls or page boys, the amount we'd have with all Don's nieces and nephews would be ridiculous so we decided against it."

"Definitely a good plan." Stella remarked.

"Hey, you never mentioned Mac!" Lindsey pointed out. I glanced down at the table flushing red a little.

"I…I'm gonna ask him to walk me down the aisle." Lindsey balked, as Stella smiled knowingly.

"But what about your own parents? You are telling them aren't you?" Lindsey exclaimed.

"I've left several messages, but they haven't gotten back to me. Mac's been more of a father to me than my own father." I paused, looking at my hands. Quietly, I continued, "He was there when I needed my family, like you all were. He took care of me with the baby. I think it's his rightful place. I'd be honoured to have him as my father."

Stella looked up with tears in her eyes as Lindsey raised a scornful eyebrow.

"Oh, sweetie," Stella said. "That's so moving. I think Mac would be honoured to walk you down the aisle." She took my hand for a second and I knew she meant it. My gaze moved to Lindsey who was still looking at me with unsureness. I felt a jolt of something run through me as Lindsay raised her glass, cutting off the awkward moment.

"To the bride to be!" As we all raised our glasses, some of the butterflies left my stomach.


	117. Chapter 117: In Muffin Scented Air

Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen

_To do you tell them all's forgiven?_

_Do you hide behind your pride?_

_Lord, You gotta keep the faith._

_Bon Jovi – Keep the Faith_

The large solid oak door loomed ahead in front of us as Flack's hand moved to mine clasping it tightly. I could tell he was nervous, his palms were sweaty and it was becoming a struggle to keep his hand cupped in mine. Butterflies were already swimming in my stomach as he reached forward and knocked on the door, visibly gulping.

"You sure that your ready for this?" he asked me raising my hand to his lips.

"I mean we can still elope, it's not too late." He continued.

"There is gonna be lots of jumping up and down and kisses and they're gonna wanna initiate you…"

Flack was rambling; I rolled my eyes cutting him off and turning to face him defiantly.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. If you're getting cold feet you might want to tell me before they come to the door." I remarked folding my arms over my chest.

Flack's hands rested on my arms, caressing them through the material of my jacket. His startling blue eyes met mine with such sincerity.

"There's nothing more I want to do then marry you Carmen."

"Good because there was no way in hell that we were going to let them know that they're first born was getting married by sending them their invite through the post." I knocked on the door again impatiently before Flack chickened out.

"You don't have to knock so hard." He retorted narrowing his eyes.

"Well you should have knocked louder." I bickered, as the door swung open. Our best smiles were plastered on as Don's mother Katharine eyed us with a smile bright enough to out shine the sun.

"Carmen, Donald, come in, I was just baking cakes at the moment, it's lovely to see you both." She wrapped her arms around the each of us as she ushered us in. We were led into the huge kitchen where the aroma of home cooking invaded my nostrils, and made my stomach rumble despite myself. Katherine laughed handing me a cookie off a cooling tray on the side. I bit into it blissfully as she uttered the words.

"So what do I owe this honour?"

"We were just I the neighbourhood, Ma…" I dug my elbow into his ribs. He yelped and shot me a death glare to which I responded by narrowing my eyes over the edge of my second cookie. The oven timer went off breaking into the fray. Katherine turned around and placed the oven mittens on her hands before taking out a large tray of muffins, each one looking perfect.

"You can have one when they cool down, I'll get a container and you can take some with you." Katherine offered, I felt my own face light up.

"So tell me what brought you both this way." she began moving muffins to the cooling tray, as I watched practically drooling.

"I know Don can smell food from a mile away but this far would be ridiculous." She remarked, her hands moving to the kettle, flicking it on. I loved Don's parent's house, they always made me feel at home. I shot Don and urging look.

"Well… we have something to tell you…" I reached for a chocolate muffin with my left hand, something glittered in the light.

"Carmen Devine!" Katherine's exclamation made me drop the muffin back into place.

"Sorry they look so…" I stepped back trying to find an excuse.

"Is that a ring on your finger?!" She snatched my hand up and stared at the ring. Her eyes went to Don who had gone a deathly shade of grey.

"Donald is that your grandmother's ring?!" I forced away the urge to shrink away as Don nodded.

"Yes Ma'am." Her eyes were on me again studying my face.

"And you said yes I take it?" she asked, her cornflower blue eyes never left mine. I nodded vigorously.

Katherine threw her arms around me clasping my close to her in motherly affection.

"We've been waiting a long time for this. We thought he'd never ask." Flack pulled a face behind her as she did so.

"It was more me than him." I confessed as she pulled away and threw herself at Flack.

"I'm so happy for you both; you couldn't have chosen a better woman Donald." I felt my chest swell with pride as the words were in the air. I spotted a suit clad bulk erupting through the doorway before I found myself being squeezed in a bear hug.

"I hear congratulations are in order, I was listening from the doorway." Don Flack Snr announced shamelessly.

Upon releasing me, he moved over to his son, giving him the same treatment, as his wife reached into the fridge and brought out a bottle of chilled champagne and several glasses. I stared at her surprised as she poured the champagne in four glasses. She handed me a glass as Don Flack Snr wrapped his arm around my shoulders and raised his glass in toast.

"Welcome to the family!"


	118. Chapter 118: Insight

Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen

_And I got this crazy feeling,_

_You've been trying to get to me_

_But all you have to do is call me calmly._

_Barenaked Ladies – Call Me Calmly_

"So we have RSVP's, lots of them." Flack said sitting cross legged, elbows perched on the coffee table. Invitations were spread across it's gleaming surface as he sifted through them.

"I don't even remember sending out this many." He frowned trying to organize them into ordered piles. I shot him a grin from the kitchen where I was stirring his coffee.

"That's because you didn't." I reminded him, moving around the bar and slipping the coffee onto the only free space on the table before perching on the arm of the chair he was leaning against, in an elevated position beside him.

"Ahh, I see Nick's already coming." I pointed at the RSVP in his hand.

"He told me at the station weeks ago, I told him you needed written confirmation." He murmured twisting his head slightly towards me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed the top of his soft black hair.

"Thank you," I uttered before he swung around and scooped me from my sitting position onto his lap and onto his level. His lips were insistent and gentle before he pulled away.

"Your mom called," he said softly, before brushing a strand of hair back behind my ear. I felt my heartbeat speed up a little faster.

"She did?" My voice betrayed my excitement. I knew, on some level,I was setting myself up for disappointment. Flack's eyes were on my face but his expression grim.

"She said she could come, but your father…" Don trailed off struggling to find the right words.

"He had to wash his hair that day?" I broke into the silence, with sarcasm.

"There was a better excuse." Flack grinned reluctantly. Sensing my disappointment he drew me closer, into a hug.

"I've already asked Mac to walk me down the aisle anyway." I told Don as he released me.

"Are you sure? I was thinking we could fly to Portland, maybe his mind would change if he met me?" Don offered running a hand through his hair. I raised my hands in despair for a second.

"It's not really necessary; he's not going to change his mind now. Although Lindsey doesn't appear to be too happy with that." I informed him, feeling slightly torn. Flack raised an eyebrow as I fiddled with the ring on my finger.

"I kinda caught her talking to Danny in the break room, she doesn't like the fact I apparently took the easy option with having Mac walk me down the aisle instead of making things up with my family." Flack watched me for a second, before tilting his head waiting for me to continue. I looked back down at my hands again.

"She just doesn't seem very enthusiastic about the wedding at all. She doesn't like the way I've planed things at all. I mean Stella's been really supportive, she even short listed hotels we could have used with the capacity of people we were expecting, and looked into lots of options." I hesitated.

"Lindsey doesn't seem interested and the only time she does is when she's whinging at Danny, who in turn has told her to shut up because it's not her wedding." Flack patted my leg sympathetically.

"I mean she's one of my friends and I want her there but she's putting a downer on the wedding with her negative attitude."

"Maybe she's just jealous." Flack offered.

"I can't see Danny proposing to her anytime soon and you know, maybe she's envisioning what she wants her wedding to be like. Either way it's not your problem, if she has an issue. It's our wedding, it's probably best to ignore it and just carry on as normal." I bowed my head and put on a grim smile.

"Your probably right, I have all the family I need right here. So the checklist?" I began changing subject.

Don eyed me for a second, trying to analyse me, I gave him a reassuring smile before he sighed and continued.

"We're up to dresses and suits." He reminded me.

"Which was something I wanted to talk about," he added with a coy expression.

"Am I not going to like this idea?" I frowned pointedly.

Flack took my hand, entwining my fingers in his.

"I was thinking…" he hesitated and I silently begged that he was not going to mention the word kilts.

"How about the guys wearing theirdress uniforms? It would also save money."

"And you do look devilishly handsome in it," I teased. Don leaned forward and began kissing my neck gently up to my ear before whispering.

"If I knew you liked it that much, I'd wear it more often." He murmured slipping me off his knee and onto the floor. I stared at him from my place on the floor, as he leaned over me.

"All we need is your dress and then we're done." He said before leaning forward and capturing my lips. I ran my hands through his hair, as his roamed my body.

"Are you scared yet?" I asked him breaking away for a second. His blue eyes penetrated mine, studying me.

"Nope. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't intend to go through with it," he informed me. I grinned as his hands slid up my shirt. He was still staring into my eyes when he whispered, "I love you."


	119. Chapter 119: Bachelorette Party

Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen

_It's getting hot in here,_

_So take off all your clothes_

_I am getting so hot_

_I wanna take my clothes off._

_Nelly – It's Getting Hot_

"Oh my God I can not believe this." I exclaimed as Stella led me through to the VIP area of New York's hottest new club 'Breach'.

As Stella hailed a waiter and ordered a bottle of champagne, I took in the scenery. The bar had a stage attached to the DJ both, which then led to the huge dance floor, which was already pulsating with bodies. The VIP area we were sitting in was lined with couches and its own private bar with waiters.

"I can not believe you managed this." I told Stella as she turned her head back to me again after whispering something in the waiter's ear. Stella laughed out loud.

"Oh just wait and see what else we have in store." She replied secretively. I narrowed my eyes playfully and took the glass of champagne of Lindsey who was holding two in our general directions. I hadn't mentioned that I'd heard what Lindsey had said to Danny, and she hadn't made a negative comment about the wedding once in the last two weeks, so I was all ready to enjoy tonight.

"I can't believe you're getting married in a week!" Lindsey exclaimed knocking back her champagne, and refilling the glass.

"You must be feeling nervous…No cold feet yet?" Staring into her face I knew she hadn't said it malevolently, yet her words still stung, almost like she expected me to. I shook my head in response.

"Nope I've never been so excited." I caught Stella frowning at Lindsey before she stood up.

"Let's go dance girls!"

We were dancing like crazy, when the music began to dull, I pouted at the DJ who laughed and beckoned me closer. I moved towards the stage apprehensive as he pulled me onto it and tapped a button on his mixing desk.

"This one's for the bachelorette party." He spoke into the microphone as Nelly began to play.

"Detective Carmen Devine here is getting married and we have a treat in store for her." I gasped at where he was pointing.

A six foot, hot blond guy dressed in a police man's out fit appeared on stage. His chest was shiny with I could only guess what as he moved towards me. I took a step back blushing.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him before beginning to gyrate to the music whilst rubbing against me. I laughed trying to compose myself as his shirt began to slip off. His pants soon followed. I turned to see Stella thrusting a twenty dollar bill into my hand. Rather obligingly the young stud tugged the strap of his dark blue thong away from his lean tanned waistline. I thrust the note into it. The stripper had now turned around and was rubbing his ass against me. I began to giggle hysterically.

"I can't believe you did that!" I grinned at Stella still red from my little stage excursion. Lindsey handed me a cocktail before Stella replied.

"We had to give you a good send off, and this place is famous for its bachelorette parties." I laughed.

"I could not think of a better way of doing it." I said raising my glass.

"To the bridesmaids!"


	120. Chapter 120: A Step Up The Aisle

**AN: Here's what you've all been waiting for The Wedding.**

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty

_And I see no bravery_

_No bravery,_

_In your eyes anymore_

_Just sadness._

_James Blunt – No Bravery_

I looked at myself in the huge full length mirror in front of me, butterflies hovering nervously in my stomach. The dress I was wearing was strapless, the white satin, figure hugging bodice gave me curves I never knew I had. The ornate cherry blossom style embroidered pattern was unique to the dress only and stayed to the finer points of the bodice. The lower half of the dress spayed outwards in the fashion of a ball gown. Bursts of the small cherry blossom pattern curved up the dress, etched in beads making me look tall and stunning. My hair, thanks to Stella's stylist was pulled back in a professionally messy style at the back and fixed in place with small diamond looking clips, whilst auburn tendrils framed my face. I grinned looking down at myself. I did look beautiful.

There was a sturdy knocking on the door and Mac stepped in a moment later. He paused upon seeing me as we both took in each other's clothing. Mac looked as handsome as ever in his formal uniform. The bruise on his chin had dyed down thankfully from a few weeks ago when the lab had been practically invaded by a gang whose drugs had been seized. No one had been seriously injured except Danny who had suffered broken fingers. Mac stepped towards me kissing both cheeks.

"You look beautiful." he murmured, beaming. I could almost see him wipe a tear from his eye.

"Thank you." I murmured smiling as he handed me the bouquet of small ivory roses.

"Are you ready?" he asked opening the door and holding out his arm. I nodded, with a smile taking his arm and walking slowly towards the main hall with him. I was almost surprised to find myself standing in the archway. The music cued as we stood there, I turned my head at Mac slowly before we took the first step.

"Thanks Mac, for doing this." I whispered.

"I wouldn't have wanted it any other way." he returned, before we took the first step down the aisle. Everyone was standing now; they're eyes on me as we moved slowly. I raised my head to the front of the alter. Don was standing there in his own formal uniform, grinning at me. He gave me a finger wave as the priest cleared his throat. My heart thudded with each step, feeling happier and happier as we moved closer. Mac kissed my cheek before taking his place, and I caught Stella's wink.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the holy matrimony of Carmen Devine and Donald Flack, the couple have written their own vows…" A sudden explosion of noise rushed through the air seconds before the ceiling above us shifted. The whole room rocked and Don reached for me as I wobbled for a second. A cracking noise above us erupted and I glanced up before finding myself on my back on the floor with Don on top of me his face pale. I coughed as smoke began to fill the room a loud shrill bell interrupted the silence. Don rolled off me, his hand going to my face, smoothing my hair away before he pulled me to my feet.

"Are you ok?" he asked studying me everywhere.

"I think so, you?" I asked doing the same. He nodded as we both stared down at the huge chunk of ceiling that had narrowly missed the both of us. Danny by the looks of it had grabbed the priest in time with his usable hand and had forced him way from the collapsing ceiling. I turned to face the audience seats, seeing the team already springing into action.

Stella was standing next to the most dangerous part of the ceiling, shifting the shell shocked front few rows out of the seats and down the aisle to where Horatio Caine had jammed open the main fire doors. Mac was helping people over the rubble and through the lobby entrance whilst Hawkes aided my mother, helping her over each individual problem en route as she limped. I gave him a grateful smile as he passed. Dangerous red hot rage was pulsing through me. Eva and Speed were grabbing all the children they could herd or carry towards the nearest exits, soothing them as they went. Lindsey was grabbing first aid kits from the wall and returning towards Hawkes. Flack's family, obviously trained in the field from birth, were responding to the orders of Don Flack Snr as they helped move tumbling bits of the ceiling out of the way of people and helped the injured to a safer place. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Danny studying me.

"The explosion came from the other function room above us." he informed me. I felt sick. The function room above us was the place where the wedding had been supposed to take place. They had changed it at the last minute due to problems with the electricity in it. Hence they had given us a better room. It was clear we had been the target. Anger was rushing through me now. I hiked up my dress and began to tread over the rubble as graciously as I could. After I managed to get the hell out of here, I was going to find out who had fucked up my wedding, I vowed.

The minute I'd stepped into the corridor I was confounded by more chaos. There were people everywhere, obviously unsure what to do and where to go. I stumbled into the lobby, seeing that most of it had been blown apart. Wires hung, sparking, as pieces of the ceiling balanced precariously. Most of the crowd was exiting through the main entrance with the help of Mac, who was now directing people. Casualties of the blast littered the ground singly or with loved ones as everyone struggled to get to the outside world. I heard a high pitched scream next to me and spotted Lily, Eva's daughter, standing alone in the fray. Knowing Eva and Tim would be worried absolutely sick, I grabbed her and hoisted her up into my arms to prevent her any more harms. She wrapped her tiny arms around my neck her dark curls tickling my face.

"You look like an angel." she whispered as I moved quickly towards the exit. I glanced at Horatio whose face filled with relief at the sight of Lily in my arms. He was dragging a man with an arm injury to safety. Next to me Flack appeared carrying an unconscious young woman in his arms, his facial features grim.

"I rather imagined that this would have been you." He muttered. I knew he was as furious as I was, but our wedding was second priority to getting these people out. I saw Eva's tear soaked face as a worried Speedle darted forward and took Lily from my arms.

"Oh my God baby." he muttered holding her close, before handing her to Eva who was now sobbing into her child's hair. Speed took my hand and fixed me with his chocolate eyes for a second.

"Thank you." He uttered before returning to his wife and children. I spun around and retreated back to the building, seeing Hawkes setting up camp and treating the wounded as best he could, with Lindsey working next to him as his diligent assistant. Stella and Danny were pulling a badly burnt man between them, towards Sheldon as quickly as possible.

For a second Stella and I shared a look of understanding as we both glanced at one another's dresses before continuing our journeys. There was no way that they both weren't ruined. As I stepped back into the building I noticed a small hub of activity surrounding Mac, who seemed to somehow of recruited the hotel staff and the guests who were police officers into reporting back to him whilst helping with the trapped people. I swallowed the insane urge to laugh at this.

Progressing further I happened across Danny who was struggling fruitlessly, thanks to his bad hand with an old lady who was harping on about missing her champagne breakfast, and returning to her room to have it. I broke into the bubble as he let out an exasperated cry. I ducked between them taking hold of the woman's arm.

"Madam it really is too dangerous to return to your room." I began.

"Screw you!" the woman screamed, yanking her arm from me. I was wishing I had a badge, gun and cuffs on me right now. I felt myself snap.

"Get your stupid ass out of the building now! Or I swear to God lady, I will have you arrested and there aren't any champagne breakfasts in prison."

She stared at me blankly for a few second, before looking down at my dress.

"Are you getting married or something?" she inquired. I rolled my eyes.

"Just get out the building." I pointed at the exit. Danny used his able hand to guide her in the opposite direction, as a well of tears began to rise in me. I took a deep breath trying to ground myself as I followed them out. A hand slipped into mine as soon as I stepped over the threshold and pulled me towards them.

"Hey…how are you doing?" Don uttered holding me tightly and kissing my head. I shook with frustration as tears bubbled up and swept down my face. He clutched me to him soothing me gently.

"It's not a sign you know." he murmured into my ear. I pulled back, wiping my eyes and meeting his pure blue gaze.

"No, but someone used it as an opportunity."


	121. Chapter 121: Familiar Faces

**AN: Hi guys! Sorry it's taken so long to update, there's been a few things going on. Work is manic and I have a few side projects, plus I'm obessed with Harry Potter books and reading them. Anyway I have a bit of a treat coming up with a little guest starring from another famous OC. Introducing Sparkycsi's oc Cory Reid!**

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty One

_Come back home, won't you come back home?  
You step in line, you got a lot to prove  
It comes and goes  
Yeah, it comes and goes  
A step in time, yeah it's a lot to move  
I know this will be temporary  
I know this will be temporary  
I know this will be, but I've had enough_

_All American Rejects – Can't Take It_

The water from the shower felt soothing as it washed over my aching muscles. I tipped my face up towards the shower head, rubbing the make up from my face. Any traces of the last few hours were fading especially the wedding. My dress lay crumpled in a heap in the corner of the locker room. It was of course ruined. There was no saving it. The cold blast hit me as I switched off the shower and wrapped a towel around me and tread towards my locker ad the spare clothes waiting inside it. Numbness was creeping in and I welcomed it gladly. I didn't need to think about how I was supposed to be Mrs. Flack right now. Flack's family had adopted my mother and was now having her at their house for a hearty brunch. I suppressed a shiver. That was another thing I couldn't face. Flack himself had gone back to the flat to change out of his clothing. I knew he was having as much trouble keeping a grip on things as I was. I left my hair loose and damp as I proceeded once clothed to the conference room.

The moment I stepped inside Danny pulled me into a comforting hug and Stella thrust a mug of tea into my hands.

"Thank you." I murmured dropping down into my seat. I saw Lindsey glower at Danny over my head. I rolled my eyes impulsively. What was her problem?

I sipped from the mug as the team proceeded to take their seats and Mac stood up addressing the room.

He spoke as the door smacked open revealing a smartly dressed auburn haired woman. She flashed a smile at Danny and in turn Mac before shaking hands with our leader.

"Nice to see you again." She grinned. The air of familiarity was rife and I was becoming increasingly suspicious about who she was. Mac turned to speak to the room again.

"For those who don't know her this is Special Agent Corrine Reid, Cory the two ladies you haven't met are Carmen Devine and Lindsey Monroe." He pointed us out singularly.

"Cory is from the Dangerous Organizations department of the FBI, she's going to be heading this investigation…"

I was on my feet in an instant, my hands slapping the table causing my tea to spill and everyone else to jump.

"What do you mean she's heading the investigation, this is strictly a matter that concerns this crime lab. The FBI shouldn't be poking their nose in where it's not wanted, and they especially should not be trying to steal our case."

Agent Reid leaned over the desk, and met my gaze head on. There was nothing confrontational about her manner, yet I was itching for a fight. Her hazel eyes fixed on me.

"Detective Devine, trust me when I say I understand how you feel." I stared at her, fury rushing through me.

"How dare you?!" I raged. "There is not a chance in hell that you could possibly understand what I am going through at the current moment. My wedding was destroyed as I was about to take my vow to marry the only man in the world who is patient enough to choose me of all people. A bomb went off in the room above us because some bastards wanted to kill not just the team but both our families and all of our friends too. So do not tell me you can comprehend how I feel because I find that severely doubtable."

Agent Reid straightened up and folded her arms over her chest as a moment of anger flashed in her eyes. I turned on my heel and stomped form the room, slamming the door behind me so hard the glass shook.


	122. Chapter 122: Similarities

**AN: This chapter and the next were written by SparkyCSI so all the cred it goes to her!**

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Two

I stormed out of the break room, utterly pissed off at Agent Reid's attitude. I walked blindly through the halls of the crime lab, seething in anger. I ended up in the locker room, sitting on the bench, in tears. I was so lost in my anger that when Flack touched my arm, I jumped.

"Sorry,' he said. "I didn't mean to scare you. What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I sighed, trying to fight down my emotions. "I just can't believe that woman is taking over the case! This is a matter for the NYPD!"

Flack nodded. "Carmen, I know that you are upset with everything that has happened today and you have every right to be, but..." he trailed off.

"But what Don?" I yelled, my frustration boiling over.

Flack wrapped his arms around me, trying to comfort me. "Carmen, please. I know Cory. She's a damn good agent. I've worked with her before. If anyone can solve this case, she can. She's brought down a major gang. All I ask is that you give her a chance. Can you do that for me?"

I sighed, sensing the respect that he had for Cory. "Fine," I said in resignation. "I'll give her a chance."

Flack smiled, "Thanks. Let's go back."

Agent Reid watched as Carmen stormed out of the break room in her anger. She sighed, understanding where the anger was coming from. She watched as Flack jumped out of his chair and followed her path.

"Well that went as well as I thought it would," Cory said as she smiled at Mac. "Hey, Messer. How've ya been?" Cory walked over and gave him a hug before proceeding to hug Stella, Mac and Hawkes.

Danny smiled. "Great. When did you get here? The last I heard you where back in Dallas."

Cory smiled and started to respond as someone cleared their throat behind her. She turned to the pretty brown-haired woman and raised her eyebrow in response.

"Excuse me," Lindsay said, fighting down a surge of jealousy at Danny's easy manner with the auburn haired beauty. "Danny? How do you know her?"

"We worked a case together a couple of years ago, Montana."

Cory raised her eyebrow again as she heard the nickname of the woman that Danny had been writing to her about. She turned to the woman again, "You must be Lindsay. It's good to finally put a face with a name. Danny's told me so much about you."

Lindsay looked shell shocked and was about to say something scathing when Carmen and Flack walked back into the room.

I walked back into the room and could feel that the rest of the team, minus Lindsay, was feeling comfortable in the FBI agent's presence. I was astounded. All Flack had told me was that they had worked a major case involving gangs before and she was the best person to handle the job.

I sat down, ignoring the jealous look on Lindsay face as the agent talked to Danny. She looked up and caught my eyes. I was amazed to see a look of understanding in them.

She cleared her throat. "Guys," she began. "I want to talk to Detective Devine alone, if you will."

I watched in amazement as the team silently filed out of the room, Danny almost dragging Lindsay with him. _Honestly,_ I thought, _what is her deal?_

"Detective?" a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Special Agent," I responded.

She smiled and warmth leapt to her eyes. "Please, call me Cory."

I nodded. "Fine. Cory, you understand why I am so upset that you are taking over the case?"

She nodded. "I do. But I want explain some of my past to you, so that you can understand that I really do know where you're coming from."

At my nod of assent, Cory began her story. "Do you know who the Mala Suerte are?" I shook my head no. "They are or were a very powerful gang. Once of my friends from high school got hooked up with them."

I thought for a moment. "Wait, they started in California, didn't they?"

Cory nodded. "Yeah. So anyway, my friend, Carlos Ortiz, became mixed up with them. I parted ways with him once I found out. Anyway, one of the first jobs that I was assigned to at the FBI was tracking the money trail for them. You see, I started off as a forensic accountant. A year or so after starting to work the case, I had gotten engaged to a fellow agent."

I looked down at her hands, seeing that she was not wearing a ring. "Did it not work out?"

Cory smiled, "In a manner of speaking. Carlos Ortiz murdered him the night before my wedding."

I gasped in horror, but she continued like she hadn't heard me, "You see, Detective. At least you still get a chance at a wedding. I lost mine. So I really do understand what you're going through."

I watched her as she stared into space, tears collecting in her eyes. Then my harsh words came back to me. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry about the way I reacted."

Cory looked back and me and smiled. "I understand. You didn't know any of this. The team does, except for Lindsay, so it was natural for Mac to call me. I had told him that I was moving back to New York."

I looked at her, still a little confused. "How do you know Mac?"

She laughed. "Long story short. Mala Suerte had moved their headquarters up here, so I moved up here. I was obsessed with taking Ortiz out. He thought he owned me." At my raised eyebrows she clarified, "I slept with him in high school. One time thing, we were drunk, but that lead him to believe that I was his for life. Anyway, after a woman was killed that resembled me, Flack got the case. I ended up helping them out with cases that involved the gang and they in turn helped me catch the bastard."

"Where's Ortiz now?" I asked.

Cory grinned widely. "His current address in death row in Huntsville, Texas. That's what you get for killing an FBI agent."

I suppressed a shiver at her obvious glee at that thought, but she was right. I did feel better at her handling the case. "Okay. I know the story and I'll gladly let you handling the case, with one exception…" I trailed off.

"I promise to share the info with you. You know that you can't directly be involved in the case, but I will keep you informed. It's only right."

I felt relief surge through my body. "Thank you," I said, simply.

Cory nodded and stood up. "No problem. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's late. The forensics team is going to be scouring the crime scene for hours and I'd like to catch up with the team. I do believe that Messer owes me a game of pool." Cory nodded to me and I smiled at the gleam in her eyes.


	123. Chapter 123: Take Me On

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three

_Looking at my own reflection _

_When suddenly it changes _

_Violently it changes _

_There is no turning back now, _

_You've woken up the demon in me. _

_Disturbed – Down with the Sickness_

I watched as Cory left the room and began to ponder the problem with Lindsay. Her attitude over the past month had just gotten worse and I knew that with Cory showing up, things were probably going to go south faster. I had seen the look of jealousy on her face, but the vibe I was getting from Cory and Danny was just platonic. I sat there for a while, nursing a cup of coffee. I looked up as Don walked into the room. "Hey," I said softly. "I'm sorry I flipped out."

Don smiled. "No problem. I really do understand. I take it Cory told you about her past?"

I nodded. "A little bit. Makes me grateful that you weren't killed. Like she said, I still get to have my wedding."

Flack laughed. "You're right. That leaves me with a question. Danny's having Cory over for a pool game. Trust me; you don't want to miss it. Wanna go?"

"Sounds like just the stress reliever that I need," I responded.

An hour later, we arrived at Messer's apartment. We walked in and I saw Cory and Danny in a heated game, both drinking beer. Don walked into the kitchen and grabbed us both beers as I watched the game, trying to figure out who was winning.

Danny took a shot on a striped ball, just missing it and Cory laughed. "Thanks for setting me up, hun," she said as she proceeded to run the table and win the game.

Frustrated, Danny groaned. "Damn. I thought I had you this time."

Cory giggled. "That's what you get for thinking, Messer. I'm up what five games on you? Will you not learn that I'm a better player than you?"

Danny just rolled his eyes in response and turned to greet Don and me. "Flack, man. You're up. Please beat her!"

Don laughed, "Why don't I just give you the moon right now, Dan. You know my record with her is just as bad as yours!"

Cory rolled her eyes. "Stop chitchatting. Rack 'em up, Flack."

I watched as Don obeyed her command. Quietly, I walked over to her. "You've got to tell me how you do that! He doesn't listen to me that well," I complained.

Cory smiled. "He just doesn't want to have to spar with me. He lost last time when we fought hand to hand."

My eyebrows rose. "Really? You've got to teach me some moves, then."

"Gladly," she said as she bent over to break the balls up.

An hour later, Danny and Cory were playing again. This time Danny was winning. There was a knock on the door. Seeing that everyone else was occupied, I went to answer it. I was surprised to find Lindsay standing on the other side. Danny had told me that he had asked her to come over, but she made an excuse not to.

"Lindsay?" I asked.

"Hey, Carmen. Why are you here?"

I shrugged. "Just playing pool with Flack, Cory and Danny."

I saw anger flash through her eyes. "Cory," she sneered. "Is that bitch trying to take my boyfriend?"

I stepped back at the obvious rage in her voice. "Whoa. Hold up, Linds. She's not trying to steal Danny. They're just friends."

Lindsay ignored me, brushing past me. I followed her into the living room, where the pool table was.

"You bitch," she snarled. "Stay the hell away from Danny."

I saw Cory look up in surprise at the venom dripping from her voice. "What the hell? Who are you calling a bitch?"

I saw Danny start to say something and just as quickly Cory held up her hand to stave off his words. "Stay of it, Dan. I can fight my own fights."

Don moved beside me and whistled softly under his breath. "Damn. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be Lindsay right now. I'll be surprised is Lindsay survives the metaphorical blood bath." I looked at him in surprise but he just gestured for me to watch.

"Look, Lindsay," she began, her tone calm and icy. "I am not trying to steal Danny from you. Trust me, if I was trying…There wouldn't be a contest. If anything, I've been trying to help him with his relationship with you because he truly wanted to be with you. In retrospect, I don't know why the hell I bothered."

I shrunk back against the wall. It was like watching a car accident. You couldn't help but watch. "Do you know who he called every time you blew him off?" she continued, her tone growing icier by the minute. "That's right. It was me. Do you know what I told him? I told him to give you the time you needed to work through what ever issues that you had. He thought you were worth the wait. I was also the one who convinced him to fly to Montana to give you emotional support."

Cory paced around the table, to stand in front of her. "Obviously, from your reaction to two _friends_ playing a friendly game of pool, I was wrong. You're nothing but a spoiled selfish brat."

Lindsay bristled at her barb and reacted by starting to swing. I knew I had to intervene, so I grabbed her arm.

Cory looked at me. "Carmen, no offence, but if she wants to take a swing a me, let her. I'm a black belt in three different martial arts. So, Detective," she said as she turned her icy stare back at Lindsay, "if you want to make this physical, let's go to the gym. Do you think that you're woman enough to take me on?"

Cory stepped back from Lindsay, who looked at Danny for help. Danny just raised his eyebrows. "What? Linds, you've changed. While I wouldn't have put it as bluntly as Cory, she's right. It's time for you to grow up. What's it going to be? Do you want to be with me or do you want to throw away what we have?"

Lindsay looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. "I…I…" she stuttered. "I have to go," she finally got out as she turned at fled from the apartment.

I watched her flight from the room in disgust.


	124. Chapter 124: Chatter

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Four

_I chime in:_

_Haven't you people ever heard of closing a god damn door?_

_Panic At The Disco – I Write Sins Not Tragedies_

"I'm telling you the guy jumped right out at me, in a full pink teddy bear costume, it was freaking scary." I recounted to Cory, who erupted with laughter at the image in her head. We were sitting across from each other in the break room both nursing coffee after a hard day.

"All these kids were crying because I'm pointing my gun at Mr. Fuzzy, it was a nightmare." Cory cracked up further as a smirk spread across my face.

"Being in the FBI, you must have some wild stories." I complimented. Cory tilted her head side to side for the minute before nodding.

"A fair few." We'd been thrown together the last few days on and off, and I had to admit despite my earlier reservations, Cory was pretty cool to hang out with. There were also a few things I'd been dying to ask her.

"So…" I started into the brief pause between our laughter. I stirred my coffee gazing at it rather than her.

"I was wondering if there was anything new on the case." I was fishing and she knew it. Cory didn't shy away from the question or avoid it.

"I kind of didn't want to tell you anything until I was sure, but the lab guys put the bomb together and we tracked it back to some standard IRA bombs that were used five years ago. The signature fits in with the Irish Mob." I stared at her open mouthed for a second, an idea brewing in my head.

"Have you told Mac about this?" I asked her, leaning forward. She shook her head.

"Not yet." I fell back into my chair thinking.

"I think I know what this all comes back to…" I muttered as my mind drifted to the events that had occurred several weeks ago when the lab had been broken into.

"I think it's best if you confer with Mac, I don't know all the details, but if you say the words Irish Mob I'm sure he'll tell you everything." I told her. I was still stunned from the news and the possibility of the suspect.

"Are you alright?" Cory asked me, a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Yea." I said shaking my head.

"Just shocked really…like they didn't just go after the Crime Lab, they went after our families too, if the hotel hadn't made us switch rooms." I gave an involuntary shudder.

"It's scary isn't it." Cory murmured looking sad for a second.

"Flack mentioned that he'd had a bit of a hard time trying to convince you to marry him." I felt a smile creep across my face.

"Yea he did. I've been married before, ever heard of the Tanglewood Boys?" I asked her, fiddling with the engagement ring on my finger.

"They were on our radar for a while," she replied.

"Well my ex-husband used to be one of them. He came home one night after killing a kid, well I put him away for attempted murder." Cory frowned picking up on my words.

"I thought you said he killed this kid."

"He did, but he beat me within an inch of my life, hence the attempted murder. There wasn't enough evidence for him to be tried for the kid's killing so I testified to what he'd done to me." Cory covered her mouth with her hand.

"Danny told me once of one of his friends had gotten into that situation, but I had no idea it was you," she muttered. I shrugged.

"That's why I had such an issue with Don proposing I didn't want this relationship to turn sour as well, and I thought marriage would do that. And then I nearly lost Don…I decided why wait." I confessed.

"So the explosion hasn't marred your views on marriage?" Cory quested. I shook my head, with a grin.

"I still want to marry him. We just have to save up again, and my dress got totally ruined when we were trying to get people out of the building, don't get me wrong it was important to get the people out, but it was a nice dress, expensive too." Cory nodded understanding.

"I never could throw my wedding dress away." Cory confided. I grinned at her.

"Maybe you don't want to let go." I blurted out. Cory raised her eyes in surprise as the barb hit home. I bowed my head. There was an awkward silence between us.

"Hey will you spar with me sometime?" I asked suddenly. Cory's eyes were on mine, as a wry smile inched over her face.

"Of course, you think you can take me on?" She challenged raising an eyebrow.

"I'll give you a run for your money." I replied confidently. Cory's grin spread even further across her face.

"We'll see about that."


	125. Chapter 125: Betting

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Five

_And no this day these deepened wounds don't heal so fast_

_Can't hear me croon of a million lies that speak no truth_

_Of a time gone by that now is through_

_The Von Blondies – Cmon Cmon_

"And where are you two off to?" Flack asked raising an eyebrow at the gym bags slung over both mine and Cory's shoulders. Danny grinned at Cory, while flicking through the papers in his hand.

"We're going the gym." I shrugged. Flack blinked momentarily.

"Carmen wanted to see what it was like sparring together." Cory added in the same tone.

Both Flack and Danny's heads twisted to meet each other's gazes. I frowned at this.

"We'll meet you down there." Danny called as they both sped from the corridor.

"I have no idea what that was about." Cory laughed shaking her head. I watched Don's retreating back.

"Me neither."

-------------------------------------

Flack and Danny were sitting in the gym still clad in their work clothes leaning against the wall, eyes on the empty mats in front of them.

"Lindsey decided to speak to you yet?" Flack asked. Danny folded his arms over his chest.

"She's not taking my calls and when I say anything to her she kind of shrugs and walks out." He confirmed. Don glanced at Danny sympathetically.

"Doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship." Flack remarked dryly.

"It doesn't does it?" Danny returned. Danny turned his head to Flack.

"The money from the wedding come back yet?" Danny asked softly.

"Cheque came through this morning. We got most of it back; obviously there were things we couldn't get money back on. The dress was ruined. I haven't told her we got it back yet." Flack confessed. Danny shook his head at the problems that had occurred for his two friends recently.

"Are you still getting married?" he thought to ask. Don took a deep breath before answering.

"I'd still like to, and I think she would too, but it maybe a bit too soon to be bringing it up again, especially with the lack of dress. All the places said they'd do anything for us anytime, I think they feel sorry for us." There was a silence between them before Danny broke it.

"I'll place fifty on Cory."

"Yea, fifty on Carmen." Flack returned.

"Cory has three black belts."

"I caught the kids in the centre teaching Carmen how to street fight last month."

Danny's jaw dropped in surprise.

"Add that to kick boxing, self defence, and judo, and I'm engaged to a lean mean fighting machine." Don grinned as Cory and Carmen stepped out on to the mats. This was going to be pretty interesting.

-------------------------------------

I was starting to feel nervous as I followed Cory towards the mats. Her words from when Lindsey challenged her rushing through my head.

"_Three black belts."_

I had two, one in Judo and the other in Self Defence.

We were standing at opposite sides of the mat now. Cory was stretching, as I was too.

We both began to circle. I kept my eyes focused on her movements. Cory was holding a good defensive stance. I ducked as her leg swept up and narrowly missed where my chest had been. I rose up throwing a punch which she blocked quickly. I drove my other fist into her stomach which she apparently hadn't seen coming. She flinched but recovered quickly enough to grab my wrist tightly and pull me to her trapping my body against hers. I felt her thigh slip between my legs as she went to hook my own foot with hers.

-------------------------------------------

Don couldn't keep his eyes off the two women in front of him. He was urging Carmen on in his head…

"Is it wrong that I'm finding this hot?" Danny grinned, not taking his yes off the match,

"It's two attractive women locked together in a grapple, it's bound to be hot." Flack returned feeling exactly the same way.

-----------------------------

Cory's foot snagged mine, causing me to fall backwards. I grabbed her top dragging her down on top of me. I hit the floor hard, stunning me for a second. Cory's arm was already pressed against my throat; using the same tactic Danny had used on me I knocked the free arm that was supporting her body weight. She slipped full force onto me. The arm against my throat loosened, I rolled on top of her, before standing up and backing off a little sweating.

Cory sprung to her feet, wiping the sweat off her forehead. I stared at her panting for a second before lunging a kick at her waist. She ducked coming back up with her own kick I managed to jump back enough for it to just miss where my face had originally been. I threw a punch; she dodged to the left as I swung my foot lower and felt it catch the back of her knees, causing her legs to buckle. She lashed out a punch as she fell to her knees, catching my straight in the stomach. I doubled over for a second, as she swept her foot at my ankles. I hit the ground and smacked it with my hand.

Cory was on me in a second, I was blocking her hands as we struggled for control bodies pressed together tightly. I wrapped my legs around her hips before rolling, putting me on top of her body. My legs straddled her hips tightly. My hands were on her wrists pinning her hands, as she struggled and wriggled against me. I held on as hard as I could. I felt her legs kicking behind me attempting to get some leverage to buck me off. I was breathing deeply by the time she stopped.

"You win." She uttered. I stared at her suspiciously for a second, before climbing off her and offering a hand up. Cory took it and rose to her feet shaking my hand.

"Good match."

"I thought you had me quite a few times." I admitted. Cory grinned.

"I did too."

"I think the boys had a bet on." I pointed out, seeing Danny handing Don a crisp bundle of dollars. I rolled my eyes.

"At least yours didn't lose." Cory sniggered, moving over to Danny as Flack made slow progress to me.

"You just made us a cool fifty dollars." Flack said handing me twenty five of Danny's dollars. I took them from his hand grinning.

"I better be careful around you from now on." Don joked. I gave him a quizzical look.

"I have no incentive to make you mad anytime soon." He responded. I leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly. He wrapped his arms around me for a second.

"The cheque came…" he trailed off. I relaxed into him.

"Do you still want to get married?" I asked suddenly. Flack looked down at me eyes wide.

"Of course."

"Then let's do it, let's try and get married again, as soon as possible."

"You're serious?" he asked incredulously.

"Definitely." His smile grew, and he swept me off my feet, his lips on mine again.

"I love you." He murmured through kisses.

"I love you too."


	126. Chapter 126: Planning

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Six

_Took an oath I'm a stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella_

_Rhianna – Umbrella_

Flack studied the list in front of him, tapping the pen against his thigh as he cradled the phone under his ear.

"Sure I'll hold." He muttered, studying the list in front of him again and counting the ticks.

He winked at Carmen as she walked past, buried under a mass amount of laundry. She flashed him a bright smile as she propped the freshly laundered clothes onto the work surface and begin to separate them.

Don's eyes ran over her body as his own smile began to twitch at the corners of his mouth. He was so lucky to have her. Carmen began to sing under her breath as she moved towards the bedroom and kicked the door open both arms full of laundry.

"Hello?" The voice on the other side of the line was back again.

"Yea hi, I'm still here." Don said as he heard the stereo in their bedroom flick on at a low volume.

"We have a vacancy for a month's time Mr Flack; we can cater for the amount of guests you submitted and the reception." Don glanced at the half closed bedroom door and dropped his voice.

"Is the honey moon suite available?" Don whispered into the phone, his eyes still on the bedroom door.

"Yes sir, how long would you like to book it for?"

"I was thinking two days; also do you have a champagne breakfast option."

"We can arrange for it to be delivered to the room."

"Could you also include ten pink roses please?"

"I think we can manage that sir, we've already included the chocolate strawberries in with the champagne breakfast." Flack grinned widely.

"Thank you." He murmured before hanging up. He ticked off another thing on the list before climbing to his feet and moving towards the bedroom. He leaned in the doorway, smiling to himself as he saw her swaying in motion to the song.

_These fancy things, will never come in between  
You're part of my entity, here for Infinity  
When the war has took it's part  
When the world has dealt it's cards  
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart_

Don moved up behind her, placing his hand on her hip and swaying with her before he twirled her as she laughed. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they continued to sway to the song.

_When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend_

She was staring into his eyes, he pressed his forehead against hers, enjoying the feel of her, and them in their place. Her head tilted up towards him and their lips met.

"We've booked the date for the 25th of October." He murmured in her ear as he held her close, still moving with her.

"So we just have to tell everyone now." Carmen replied softy.

"I think your best doing that…I'll do the rest of the list." He twirled her gracefully.

"Thank you." She uttered, from the look in her eyes he knew she meant it.


	127. Chapter 127: Bitch

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Seven

_It was an upset in two minutes flat_

_I can't understand it, we had it down pat_

_It's very upsetting can we leave it at that?_

_We all had positions_

_We each had a role_

_We'd over rehearsed it_

_We had full control_

_Barenaked Ladies – Bank Job_

I stepped into the quietness of the lab feeling like I was walking on air. Whilst I was here in the lab Flack was working tirelessly behind the scenes to make sure attempt number two of the wedding ran smoothly. All that was left to me was to inform the relevant guests and in just under a month, we'd be having a hopefully bomb free wedding. Both me and Don had decided to invite Cory, she was working on our case with all her effort and the results were beginning to show. I knew the FBI had been raiding several different locations recently but they weren't having much luck. According to what Cory had told me they were getting closer though.

I tread quickly through the lab unable to keep the grin off my face as I looked up and directly into Mac's office, he was the first person I wanted to tell. I paused for a second frowning. The back of Lindsey's head was facing me. Mac was leaning across his desk looking resigned. I continued on, shaking off the bad feeling I was getting and dropped my bag onto my desk next to the large pile of files on the edge. From my desk I had the perfect view of Mac's office if I leaned slightly to the right. Which I did. I saw Lindsey standing up, and…

_Was she shaking hands with Mac?!_

I contemplated this as I watched her leave his office and disappear into the locker room. I shrugged it off, feeling my good spirits rise again as I stood up and ambled in the direction of Mac's office. I tapped on the door gently.

"Come in." Mac's voice called. I did as instructed and placed myself in front of his desk beaming as he returned a file to his filing cabinet. He turned around to face me looking almost startled.

"Carmen what can I do for you?" he asked leaning against the drawers behind him and folding his arms over his chest. He looked troubled.

"Me and Don are going to try again…we've booked the wedding for the twenty fifth of October. So will you…erm…will you walk me down the aisle again?" I asked sheepishly.

Mac's face broke into a huge grin as he swept around the desk and pulled me into a bear hug.

"You'd better count on it." He told me firmly before releasing me.

"Thank you so much, you have no idea what it means to me." Mac held up a hand silencing me.

"Same uniform?" He asked.

"Same uniform." I confirmed.

"I'd better book the department off again." He said moving back to his desk and picking up the phone. I took this as my cue to leave and pranced back into my office to call Cory and ask her to the wedding.

-------------------------------

"I am so glad, that you still want to get married, I thought the explosion would have scared the crap out of you." Stella said honestly. She was making us both coffee in the break room, while I sat at the table eating some of the iced donuts I'd bought and left in the middle for everyone.

"It did. But life goes on and well something Cory said kind of made it seem all the more ridiculous to wait around." Stella nodded understanding, as she turned around with the two mugs of coffee.

"She told you about James I take it." I nodded, as Stella slipped into her chair.

"It made me think of all the near misses that me and Flack have had over the past few years. This job…I couldn't do any other but your life's at risk all the time. We don't have time to wait around, I love him and he loves me so I don't see the point in waiting." Stella murmured her agreement.

"I still want you as my bridesmaid Stella. Unfortunately we can't afford new dresses, I don't even have a wedding dress at the moment but I still want you as my maid of honour." Stella smiled behind her coffee cup.

"I wouldn't want it any other way." She murmured, taking a white iced donut.

"Have you and Don talked about kids yet?" I nearly spat my coffee on her. Spluttering I took the mug away from my mouth.

"I didn't mean…" she began handing me a napkin that had come with the donuts. I held my hand up.

"You surprised me, that's was all. The answer is, yes we have talked about it, but no we don't want any yet. Our lives are too unstable and I don't want to gice up my job yet. I'd wanna be a stay at home mom for the first year or so, and Don would like to go part time, so wasn't away all the time. Right now though, we both like where we are." I confessed. Stella grinned.

"Our Detective Devine is all grown up." She chuckled. I bowed my head blushing.

"Have you seen Lindsey today at all? I want to tell her about the wedding. I feel like she's avoiding me." I told Stella, who studied me for a second.

"I've been getting that impression too, you should see it when your in a room with her and Danny, I'm sure the temperature drops." Stella reported. I pulled a face.

"She's jealous over Danny and Cory's friendship. She really hates Cory and she hasn't been taking Danny's calls since that thing at his place."

"And you've invited Cory to the wedding." Stella pointed out.

"I couldn't not invite her; she's been there a lot more than Lindsey has recently. Maybe that's why Lindsey's been avoiding me." I sighed, draining my mug before standing up.

"Are we still going for cocktails tonight?" Stella asked, brushing back hair away from her face.

"I've told Cory to meet us at eight." Stella nodded her reply.

"I'm off to find Lindsey." I said, picking up another donut for the road.

"Good luck."

----------------------------------------

I eventually tracked down Lindsey in her office with the door closed over. I rapped my knuckles on it lightly before stepping in without waiting for an answer. She turned suddenly towards me a box perched in her seat and her leaning over the desk.

"Don't you know how to knock?" she growled. I raised my hands defensively.

"Sorry I'll ensure I will next time." I responded. She turned her head back to her desk scowling. I leant in the door frame.

"I came to tell you that the weddings going ahead on the twenty fifth of October and I was wondering if you could still be my bridesmaid." The fact she was still putting her stuff into the box was unnerving me.

"Hm what…" she muttered distracted.

"Lindsey…" I snapped. "My wedding."

She was still looking at her desk, and definitely making sure she wasn't looking at me.

"I can't do it sorry." My temper flared at the way she brushed it off so easily.

"Do you want to explain?" I asked clenching my fist. Lindsey turned to face me, her hand on her hip. She looked totally at ease with herself, making me even more hurt and angry.

"A lab in Chicago offered me a better position, so I'm going to take it. I'll be starting in a month, but I'm going to be moving there to set up in the next few weeks." I stared at her, clenching my jaw tightly.

"You could get a flight back for the wedding."

"Not really, I don't really want to come back to New York." I took a deep breath, unable to calm my rage down as she turned her back on me again.

"So you're going to leave me in the lurch? What about my wedding? You're a bridesmaid for Christ's Sake, you have a responsibility…" she cut me off.

"No I don't Carmen, you and Don have so much catastrophe in your lives I'm surprised your actually deciding to try again to be honest." I was so furious I couldn't bring myself to speak. I was trying the calm the urge to knock her head off.

"What about Danny?" I spat.

"What about him?" she snorted. I couldn't believe that I'd once considered this girl as one of my closest friends.

"I don't know what happened Lindsey, but you're a fucking cold hearted bitch. I don't deserve this and Danny sure as hell deserves an explanation, so if you can find it in your bitter little heart to let him know, I advise you do it as soon as possible. Don't bother keeping in touch." I spun on my heel and slammed the door so hard behind me I heard the glass pain crack.


	128. Chapter 128: Letting Go

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Eight

_Hot and cold  
Bought and Sold  
A heart as hard as gold  
Yeah! Are you satisfied?_

_Metallica – King Nothing_

The bar was noisy but Ray had managed to save us a booth, with Stella's prior planning. The other two had arrived before I did; a pitcher of margaritas was already on the table with a spare glass to boot. I sunk down into the plush seating, instantly grabbing the jug and pouring into the glass.

"Are you ok?" Cory asked, her glass mid way to her mouth when she saw the expression upon my face. I shrugged.

"After three or four of these who knows?" I remarked holding up my glass and gulping from it.

"I take it the conversation with Lindsey didn't go well?" Stella commented over her glass, looking concerned.

I clenched my jaw and met Stella's gaze.

"You may as well hear it from me." I growled, clenching my glass so tightly in my hand I thought it would snap.

"Lindsey is moving to Chicago, because they offered her more money." Stella frowned and opened her mouth.

"And that, ladies, isn't even the best part. Lindsey has decided she can't come to the wedding, because she doesn't want to come to New York and she is surprised that me and Don are even bothering to try again because we have so much drama in our lives." I heard Cory gasp as Stella covered her hand with her mouth horrified.

I gulped more of my drink.

"Unfortunately the department has to fork out for a new glass panel in her door because I slammed it so hard." I slumped down into my hands.

"And she hasn't even told Danny…and I don't think she intends to." My chin was resting on my arms now and I could feel depression and anger setting in again.

"Is it wrong to say I'm hating her right now?"

"No," Cory growled. "She'd best hope that I never see her again or I'll…" Cory trailed off in her anger. I saw a fire light in her eyes as she managed to continue, "How the hell can she do that to Danny? He's a great guy!" I watched in awe as Cory drank the last half of her margarita like she was taking a shot.

"He is. He doesn't deserve it," I replied as Stella nodded her agreement.

Cory looked at us. "I hope that bitch gets what she deserves."

Stella looked at Cory in awe, she hadn't seen her this upset, ever. "Cory? You okay?" she asked.

Cory just shook her head as I watched her refill her glass. I thought for a moment and decided to take a risk with a question. "Why didn't you and Danny go out?" Cory pinned me with a glare as Stella's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "I mean, there's a chemistry between you two."

Cory's anger seemed to deflate at my comment. "Honestly?" She paused as she sighed. "It was a lot of things. One? When I was here before, I was dealing with Ortiz. The man is insane and he was willing to kill anyone that I got close to. I lost four people that meant a lot to me because of him."

My heart went out to Cory, who had tears shining in her eyes. "I'm sorry," I said, knowing that words couldn't express my feelings.

Cory smiled softly as she fought for control back. "It's not your fault. But anyway, after Ortiz was captured…I moved back to Dallas. I don't do long distance relationships and I didn't want to hurt Danny. He's one of the good guys."

Stella looked at Cory. "You know, I think that he fixated on Lindsay because she had a similar background to you. He was using her to try to get over you."

Cory and I looked at Stella in shock. "What?" questioned Cory.

Stella looked at her. "You didn't know?" At Cory's blank look, she continued, "Danny was really into you, but he didn't want to push you."

I felt a light go on in my brain. "So that's what drew him to Lindsay. She has some pretty awful secrets and she was from the west." I shook my head and wondered if Danny realized what he had done.

Cory just shook her head. "Okay. That was a lot of information. I'm stunned. Can we change topics? How about your wedding, Carmen? What's going on with that? Do you have everything set?"

I bit my lip. "Mostly. The only thing lacking are the dresses." I sighed, realizing that I would never be able to afford a dress like the one I had. "I guess I can just go buy a generic white dress. I've been married before; I don't really need the whole shebang."

Cory and Stella exchanged a covert look as I stared into my margarita. Slowly, as the alcohol began to set in, the topics moved to lighter subjects.

The next day, I walked into the lab wondering what type of crazies we were going to have to deal with. I was walking past what used to be Danny and Lindsay's office, when I heard someone cursing inside.

"She left. She ran away! That's…Why? I don't understand this." I peered into the office and saw Danny pacing around like a caged animal, muttering to himself. Drawing in a fortifying breath and walked with trepidation into the room. "Danny? You okay?"

Danny turned around, hurt and confusion on his face. "Alright? Why would I be alright? She left me. And she didn't even tell me." Danny tried to say more, but couldn't seem to form the words.

I grimaced. "I know," I said softly. "She's refusing to be in the wedding, too. I don't know what her drama is, but Danny…You're better off without her."

I watched as Danny seemed to deflate. His shoulders sagged as he sat down. I walked over to him and gently placed my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "I…I guess it just wasn't meant to be." He looked up at me. "I'd better get back to work." I nodded and made my way into my office.

It wasn't until I was putting my purse away that I saw a clothes bag hanging in the corner. Intrigued, I walked over to it and opened the note attached to it.

"_Carmen…I know this doesn't make anything right, but I want you to have my wedding dress. I couldn't bear to wear it, but I also can't bear just to throw it away. I'm pretty sure that it will fit you, but I know a great tailor up here if it needs to be _

I stared in shock at the note in my hands as tears began to form in my eyes. I was happy that Cory had managed to let James go.


	129. Chapter 129: Drunk and Disorderly

**AN: Heys guys credit for this goes to sparkycsi!**

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Nine

_Now she's gone and I'm a memory in her past  
And the long and short of it some things never last…_

_It's alright and it's okay  
I'll live to love another day  
I'll live to love another day_

_Keith Urban - Live To Love Another Day _

Danny's head was in his hands when Cory appeared in the doorway. Her arms were folded over her chest as she watched him for a second, feeling her heart go out to him.

"Come on Messer we're going out. I can't stand the sight of you moping any longer," she said playfully stepping forward from the door way and settling her hand on his shoulder. He relaxed for a moment pulling his hands away from his face.

"I just…I didn't expect it you know?"

Cory studied him for a second before replying. "You never do…Come on let's go for a beer my treat…"

Danny nodded before standing up, and collecting his coat.

Thirty minutes later, they were walking into Ray's, Danny still morose. Cory shook her head in anger at Lindsay. Directing Danny to grab them a table, she went to the bar and smiled at Greg, the bartender. "Hey, Greg."

"Cory? How long you in town for?" he asked.

Cory smirked. "As long as I want. I moved up here. Can I get a pitcher of beer and two glasses?"

Greg nodded and quickly handed her the pitcher. "Cash or tab?"

Cory thought for a second. "Tab. I'll tell you a couple of hours before I leave so you can switch me to water. Messer's going to be wasted."

Greg nodded as she walked away. When Cory got to the table, she plunked down the glasses and filled them. "Here's to our friends, past and present." They clicked glasses and both of them drank half of the beer in one swig. Cory silently filled up the glasses again.

"So?" she began. "Wanna talk about it?"

Danny shook his head. "I don't understand her, Cor. Why? How can she just leave me? "

Cory shrugged. "I don't know, sweetie. I feel bad. I was so harsh to her, but I just lost my temper."

Danny smiled. "It's not your fault. She's been acting strange ever since Carmen and Flack got engaged. I just…don't get it. Why did she change?"

Cory shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, sweetie. But, if she's going to be that inconsiderate of your feelings, then you are better off without her! Come on. No more moping around. Let's get you drunk."

Danny shot Cory a grin, knowing that she would make him feel better.

---------------------

When closing time came, Cory looked at Danny. "Hey, Messer? You alright?"

Danny shook his head. "Why are there two of you?"

Cory sighed. She grabbed a hold of his arm and hauled him to his feet. Let's get you home, sweetie."

Danny followed her complacently. When the taxi dropped them off at Danny's apartment, Cory helped him upstairs. "Hey, Messer. I'm crashing on your couch. I'm too drunk to drive home."

Danny nodded drunkenly. "K." He turned to her. "Hey, Cory?"

Cory turned to Danny. "Yeah?"

Danny smirked at her as he walked over to her. Softly he drew her into a hug. "You're a good friend."

Cory smiled as she returned his hug. "I know," she said impishly. "Go to bed, Dan. You need to sleep off the beer."

Dan drew back from her and looked into her eyes. Slowly he lowered his lips and captured hers softly. When he tried to deepen the kiss, Cory thrust him away from her, looking at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I like you, Cory."

Cory shook her head. "So? You just broke up with Lindsay. I'm not going to be rebound girl." She slowly backed away from him.

Danny looked at her in confusion. "What?"

Cory just shook her head. "Go to bed, Danny. If you remember this in the morning, we'll talk about it then." She didn't wait for him to respond, she just pushed in towards the bedroom.

Once he was in bed, she walked back into the living room and sat staring out the window, trying to sort out the myriad of emotions that was coursing through her. She stared out the window, tears falling unheeded down her cheeks as she tried to make sense of Danny's kiss. _Damn. This is going to be one long night._


	130. Chapter 130: Clueless

**AN: ****Howdy. I have some news! Me, Sparkycsi and Axellia have been co-writting story together entitled 'Gotham's Heroes'. It consists of our own OC's Carmen Devine, Cory Reid and Taylor Turner in one story. Interested? Take a peek. We're written under the penname SPAXAPH. Go look! You may like!**

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty

_It's meeting the man of my dreams _

_And then meeting his beautiful wife_

_Isn't it ironic?_

_Don't you think?_

_Alannis Morissette – Ironic_

Danny's head was pounding like hell when the sun shone on his face. He rolled onto his back feeling bile rise in his stomach. Fragments of memories from the night before were returning, although at the moment the only thing he could remember was the fifth shot of Tequila. He knew Cory had come back with him, but he was surprised at himself for not letting her have the bed, as he usually would have.

He managed to rise to his feet, to find himself still fully clothed and stinking of sweat and alcohol. Cringing he changed his shirt to a white vest before opening the bedroom door and popping his head around. He was surprised to find the couch empty.

In fact the only evidence that Cory had stayed over was the fact there were several neatly folded blankets on the arm of the couch, and the fresh scent of coffee. Otherwise there was nothing, not even a note. Danny frowned, before locating his phone and dialling in her number. It rang twice before going straight to voicemail.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you ok? You've been kind of quiet all day," I commented giving Cory a sidelong glance. All the way though the day she'd looked preoccupied, at the current moment she was sitting in the break room absently chewing the top of her pen and starring into space. I'd spent the last two minutes waving my hand in front of her face.

Cory tilted her head towards me as I slipped into the seat across from her and set a mug in front of her. She gave me a grateful smile, yet underneath I could see the tension in her pretty face, on top if that she looked tired.

"I'm fine just…" she hesitated for a second looking down as I raised an eyebrow. "I was out late drinking with Messer last night."

"Ahh how's he doing?" I asked her sensing there was more to this, but Cory didn't seem to want to talk. She shrugged.

"Ok I guess," she muttered. I frowned but didn't push her. I decided to take the plunge and ask Cory a question that had been plaguing me ever since she'd given me the wedding dress.

"Erm Cory…could I ask you something?" Cory leaned back in her chair putting her pen down, her attention focused purely on me.

"Shoot."

"I was wondering…you know if you want to…would you be one of my bridesmaids?" Cory's eyes widened in surprise.

"You know only if you want to…don't feel obliged too…it's just you know…you've been a good friend recently especially with the dress and me and Don both agree we'd love to have you as a bridesmaid." I blabbered. Cory raised her hand up to silence me.

"You're sure?" she asked quietly. I nodded.

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't." I confirmed. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. The door behind me opened and I twisted in my seat to see a dishevelled Danny stepping in.

"Cory's just agreed to be my bridesmaid." I told him proudly. Danny nodded silently before dragging himself over to the coffee pot, pouring himself a steaming mug of the black liquid and dropping down into the seat next to Cory.

Cory bowed her face over the paper for a moment, and then stood up and slipped out the door.

"I'm going to see Mac," she called over her shoulder. I turned my head to Danny who was looking as moderately confused as I was. I took a swig of coffee before rounding on him.

"What the hell did you do to her?" I interrogated.

"I don't know!" Danny burst out obviously thinking the same thing. There was silence for a minute before Danny started talking again.

"We went to a bar and started talking…I think…everything goes fuzzy after a few shots of tequila. I know she stayed at my apartment last night." I narrowed my eyes at him. He caught my look.

"On the couch! Oh shit!" Danny erupted looking horrified. I raised an eyebrow in his direction. Danny's jaw had dropped.

"I think I kissed her," he blurted out.

"You freaking idiot." I started; Danny covered his face with his hands for a second obviously still in shock.

"And that would explain why she's avoiding me, how?" he groaned. I shook my head vexed.

"Your Christ's Sake you're a freaking CSI!" I hissed before taking a deep sigh and shaking my head.

"Of all the girls you could have kissed it had to be Cory."

"It's not like I went caveman and took her to bed!" he retorted. "She was there and it just happened, she rejected me anyway."

I rolled my eyes in response to this.

"Do not turn this into something about you Danny! You shouldn't have kissed Cory especially when you were drunk and especially not after Lindsay had just left."

"I know! Just quit shouting will ya?! My head is killing me!" I rose to my feet, rubbing my face as Danny clutched his head looking miserable.

"You better sort it out before the wedding Danny." I threatened, standing in the doorway, before slipping the packet of painkillers from my handbag and chucking them at him.


	131. Chapter 131: Tactical Ops

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One

_Somebody say "lay down your gun"  
And when you lay down you're ready to run…_

_Because when you play with fire  
Take your pay, it's not going away  
_

_Bonnie Brae – Twilight Singers_

"Mac wants to see you in his office," a pleasant voice told me from the door way. I glanced up from the report I was working on and raised my head in the direction of Stella. I frowned as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Any idea what about?" I asked curious rising to my feet. Stella shrugged.

"Looks serious…He's got Cory and some other guy in the office with him." I pulled a face at her as I moved to the doorway. Stella stepped out the way and I slipped past her in the doorway.

"Fingers crossed it's something good," I called over my shoulder, treading towards Mac's office.

"You never know it could be," she returned I paused at Mac's door and knocked.

Upon stepping in I was faced with a sombre Cory, a thoughtful looking Mac and a broad shouldered, 6'4 guy, clad in black t-shirt that showed off his muscle tone. The new guy's hazel eyes met mine before a spark of recognition ran through me.

"Matt Sullivan, how are you doing? I haven't seen you since the academy…" Mac cleared his throat cutting off my prompt chatter. I clamped my lips shut as Matt gave me a wry smile. I focused my attention on Mac yet it wasn't him who spoke.

"Carmen, we have some news for you," Cory said calmly. I turned my head towards her quizzically.

"I thought you'd best hear it from us so you can make a decision." I opened my mouth to speak but Cory continued.

"We discovered who is responsible for destroying your wedding, and we're launching a raid in the next four hours on their premises," Cory informed me. I felt myself drop down into the seat Mac usually reserved for guests and stared up at her stunned.

"Who?" I murmured, tilting my face to her.

"I think its best I step in here Cory," Mac interrupted. I frowned as mine and Mac's eyes met.

"It all links back to the shipment of drugs Flack busted from the Irish Mob." He took a deep breath and sighed.

"Colm Gunn was the right hand man of the Head of the Irish Mob, when he was killed in the events surrounding the Crime Lab a hit was put out." I raised an eyebrow at this.

"Colm Gunn's father is the head of the Irish Mob, Colm was his only son. Seamus Gunn put a green light on the heads of both me and Flack. According to Cory's sources they saw you're wedding as the perfect opportunity for them to show the whole of New York who's in control by murdering not only their two hits but a large proportion of the NYPD." I blinked at him in shock. Matt decided it was his turn to speak.

"For the past few weeks the NYPD's Tactical Operations has been working closely with the FBI in order to determine the best location in which to strike back. We have decided we're going to hit Seamus Gunn at home, we know it's heavily guarded, but it is also where he's at his most vulnerable. We're planning to raid the place in four hours time at 2am." Matt shot a sideways glance at Mac before continuing.

"It has already been decided that Mac should be involved in the raid, but it has been recommended that we extend you the same courtesy, after all it was your wedding that was destroyed." I leaned back in the chair attempting to take in all the information.

"So you're asking me to be on the raid?" I summed up, my gaze going to Mac. Mac gave me a brief nod. I was silent for a second before making my decision.

"Count me in." I told them. I saw a small smile etch Mac's face before it disappeared again. Matt was speaking again.

"We need you both in the Conference Room in an hour to run through the details of the raid."

Cory straightened up from her leaning position and moved towards the door.

"I have some last minute plans to make," she explained before pulling open the door. "I'll see y'all there."

Matt moved towards the door after her, he paused before glancing at me over his shoulder.

"You wanna show me where the good coffee is and we can do some catching up?" he dimpled, running a hand through his thick black hair. I grinned.

"Sure why not?" I replied leading him towards the break room.

Matt's muscled frame barely fit in the chair as he sat down and I busied myself making coffee, my back to him.

"So the Mob blew up your wedding…tough break." Matt was well known for his bluntness. I shrugged.

"Nobody was badly hurt thank God." I told him pouring hot water into his mug.

"The guy you marrying, Don Flack, he's a great guy, good cop." Matt nodded his approval as I turned to face him rolling my eyes.

"Anyone on the cards for you Mr. Sullivan?" I asked handing him his coffee, and then dropping into my seat. Matt shrugged.

"I've been divorced two years now. She couldn't take the job so she called it quits," Matt said simply, I gave him a sympathetic look.

"How'd you end up in Tactical? I always thought you were gonna go into Bomb Squad," I reminded him. A small smile broke across his face.

"I was in the Bomb Squad for a while, but I transferred to Tactical, it's a better job and the risk factor's a little less." He paused for a second before meeting my gaze.

"Never thought I'd see you as a CSI," he told me. "You always had a cop's mind."

"Still do." I sighed.

"Yea, I read about the incident with that serial in the church, Taylor Turner did a good write up on it," he said sipping his coffee.

"She's the only one I let interview me," I confessed. Matt looked at me pointedly.

"She's a friend of mine." I admitted. Matt nodded his approval before glancing at his watch.

"Crap. I gotta go grab some things before the meeting." He rose to his feet as I followed suit, he moved towards the closed door, before pausing and turning his head to me grinning.

"By the way, congratulations." And then he was gone.


	132. Chapter 132: Once More With Feeling

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Two

_Simona  
Wish I had known that  
What seemed so strong  
Has been and gone_

_James Blunt - 1973_

I was striding down the corridor, my thoughts intent as I tightened the bullet proof vest strapped around my body.

"Princess." I turned hearing the nickname and found myself face to face with Don walking quickly towards me.

"I hear you got in on the raid." I bowed my head for a second wondering if he was mad, whilst fiddling with the strap on the vest.

"Yea, I think Mac spoke to Cory, he's going to be there so no worries." I told him looking up.

"You're nervous." He stated studying my face.

"I have a bad feeling…" I told him. He brushed away a strand of hair off my face frowning.

"What sort of bad feeling?" I could hear the concern in his voice.

"I can't describe it…Just a weird feeling in my gut." Don tilted his head pointedly.

"I know those feelings and so do you." He pointed out. I nodded folding my arms over my chest.

"But I have to do this. I mean I need closure…" I told him honestly. Don's eyes met mine, a tiny smile at the ends of his mouth.

"I know…" he leaned forward pulling me into his arms. I relaxed inhaling the scent of him and the familiar shape of his body. My hands ran up the inside of his suit jacket brushing his skin through his shirt.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head upwards as Flack's lips met mine. We both pulled away breathless. His hands caressed my face as his electric blue eyes pierced me.

"Just come back in one piece ok?" he asked quietly, I could tell what he was thinking. I kissed the palm of his hand before he pulled away.

"I'll try." I told him.

"I love you Carmen, I can't walk up the aisle in two weeks time without a bride." He told me seriously. My face grew grim as I shook my head.

"I'll catch you later." I said waving him off as I stepped down the corridor and continued my journey towards the conference room.

------------------------------

Matt and Cory were standing at the front of the room, a map spread across the white board between them. I was sitting next to Mac who was already outfitted in his own vest. It felt strange not seeing him up there doing the directing.

"There are two entrances to Gunn's house." Matt pointed at the door at the back and the door at the front.

"We know he's heavily guarded the majority of the time but tonight he's having a little party." Matt gestured to Cory to take over from here.

"Our sources tell us that every few months Gunn decides it's time for a little party to reward his boys for all the good work they've been doing. Apparently it's that time again. They bring in a few high class hookers, split a deck and get the whiskey flowing. Although guarding will be lax, that doesn't make this raid any more predictable. These boys are going to be trying to shoot us under the influence of alcohol; they fight dirty at the best of times. So the main aim here is to be careful."

Matt took over again.

"The aim here is to grab this target Seamus Gunn. Many of you will be aware he's already tried to murder several of our colleagues." His hazel eyes met mine as he gave me a small nod.

"So this is personal, but as Cory said no stupid risks." He looked pointedly at me again before continuing. "There will be three teams going in. Team One consists mainly of the Tactical Op's Squad, they're going through the windows of the main room, creating a distraction and in turn drawing the perps attention away from the main door. Cory's Team Two will be heading through the front door eliminating any threats. Whilst I lead Team Three though the back door to sweep the rest of the house. Right people, check your weapons and then move to the vans." Matt finished.

The scraping of chairs and hushed murmurs echoed through the room, as a mixture of agents and NYPD began to collectively make their way towards the now open door. Matt was making his way toward me and Mac as we stood up collectively.

"Carmen, Mac." He nodded at us both. "You're both going to be in my team. Carmen, I want you to stick close to Mac. I know you haven't had much experience in these kinds of raids but Mac's an old hand at these things." He met my gaze head on whilst explaining.

"Sure." I replied. Matt narrowed his eyes at me for a second. "I meant what I said, no heroics, this is an in and out mission to get the target. I don't want to have to tell your fiancé you were playing hero if you get shot."

I snorted as Mac and Matt exchanged a look between them.

"I can't believe that you all think I'm going to go rushing in there guns blazing…" Mac cut me off.

"I showed him your file."

"Oh."

-------------------------

I tied my wavy auburn hair back into a messy bun as I with drew my gun from the holster. The wind was freezing as the team all pressed against the wall. There were eight of us in total. Mac was in front of me. On the way over in the van he'd bee giving me tips on how to work on a raid like this.

I wrapped my fingers around the gun holding on to the trigger, waiting for Matt's signal. Matt's burly figure looked like it barely fit into the vest he was wearing as he appeared in front of us. He counted to three on his fingers before the two Feds in front of us bashed the door open. I followed Mac inside affronted with the sounds of chaos erupting everywhere around us. Matt led us up a set of stairs as agents and Mobsters fought below us.

A figure screamed in Gaelic before pulling a semi automatic from his belt. Before he even got it level with me Mac had taken him out and was urging me to follow him. Bullets and agents were swarming everywhere. Figures were grappling as agents fought the members of the Irish Mob.

A bullet whizzed past my head as I ducked into a door way to avoid the stream of bullets from the automatic weapon across the hallway. A hand enclosed on the back of my neck as I felt myself yanked backwards into the room. I wrenched myself away and span to face the perpetrator, bringing my gun up.

_I would call you up every Saturday night  
And we'd both stay out 'til the morning light  
And we sang, "Here we go again"_

Seamus's eyes were the same colour as his son's had been. They were boring into me as he leapt forward, grabbing my wrists and forcing my gun upwards to the ceiling. His body pressed against me, his breath on my face. I threw my own weight against his body as we struggled for control.

_And though time goes by  
I will always be  
In a club with you  
In 1973  
Singing, "Here we go again"_

"Your mine girl," he hissed through the snarl splashed across his face. His weight was beginning to overcome mine. I reacted instinctively driving my knee into his groin. He doubled over releasing my hands so suddenly the gun slipped from my grasp and slid across the laminate flooring of his bedroom. Seamus was recovering quickly; as he straightened up I dived for the gun. A swift blow caught me in the side of the face, a sharp pain in my cheek as his ring caught my skin. I could feel blood running down my chin. My fingers brushed the gun, a swift kick to the ribs winded me, knocking me onto my side. I couldn't breath. Gasping to breath I struggled into a sitting position, my back pressed against the bed. I raised my head as Seamus pointed the gun level with my head.

_Simona  
I guess it's over  
My memory plays our tune  
The same old song_

For a second time froze. My eyes met his; I felt tears begin to pinprick my eyes as I still struggled to breathe, my hand over my heart. I parted my lips to say something, anything but no words came out.

_We were underneath the duvet lying next to each other but apart, our gazes locked we both smiled. A connection lay between us as Don laced his fingers through mine. His cornflower blue eyes never leaving my face._

Tears began to roll my down my cheeks. We were supposed to be getting married in two weeks god damn it. This wasn't fair.

"_I love you." Don had told me smoothing my hair away from my face as he lay on top of me under the duvet. His face was inches from mine as he spoke. His smile curving across his face, and I could see the honest of it all in his eyes as he began to move within me._

I was taking hard deep breathes now, as the tears flowed freely down my face. A smile was curving across Seamus's face as he took a more careful aim. I began to fall apart. I loved him, I didn't want to die. I wanted to stay with Don forever…

_I would call you up every Saturday night  
And we'd both stay out 'til the morning light  
And we sang, "Here we go again"  
_

My heart was raging with pain as the gun shot rang out.

_And though time goes by  
I will always be  
In a club with you  
In 1973_


	133. Chapter 133: It All Comes Crashing Down

**AN: Special thanks to _sparkcsi. _She helped me work through all the options! You guys nearly ended up with a completely different ending. I'd love to see what you guys think, so come on review! Anyway enjoy!**

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Three

_And though time goes by  
I will always be  
In a club with you  
In 1973  
_

_James Blunt – 1973_

His heart was thudding against his chest as he ran down the sterile corridor his shoes tapping against the tiles, pushing past patients, nurses and doctors. Flack slammed through the double doors seeing three people in the distance. Mac and Matt's heads were bent together talking solemnly as Cory sat down covering her face with her hands. Mac looked up hearing footsteps as Flack halted breathlessly in front of them, his eyes searching the older man's face.

"Mac?" he begged. Mac reached out and placed his hands on the other mans shoulders.

"I'm sorry Don…they don't think she's going to pull through the surgery." All the air rushed out of Flack, he found himself unable to breathe. His knees went weak and he was just about able to stumble to the row of chairs Cory was occupying. Don closed his eyes for a second rubbing his face with his hands.

He had to pull himself together; he had to believe she'd make it. She was stronger than this. When she came through from the surgery, he'd be there when she woke up holding her hand. He had to have faith in her; he had to believe she'd want to come back to him otherwise he'd crumble.

Flack took a deep breath before raising his head to the two men standing before him.

"What happened?" he asked warily. He couldn't face Cory yet, he couldn't face the urge to blame her that was building in his chest. He had to stay focused. He needed the facts.

It was Mac that offered up the first part of the explanation.

"We were in the third team; we went through the back door and up the first stairwell. We got separated in the hallway by a shooter across the landing with an automatic weapon. Carmen must have ducked into the door way for cover." Mac paused for a second, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was taking this hard and blaming himself, Carmen was like a daughter to him and he was feeling responsible.

It was Matt that continued.

"Unfortunately it appeared to be the room that Gunn was using. We think he pulled her into the bedroom. From what I can guess, a scuffle occurred, Carmen's face is cut and when I made it to the room she was having trouble breathing. Gunn managed to procure her weapon and was pointing it right at her. I shot him, but he got off a round just after my bullet impacted it altered his trajectory so his bullet hit her in the chest instead of the head."

"But she was wearing a vest…" Don muttered, thinking back to the conversation in the corridor.

"He was close range, from the distance he was at the vest didn't hold, it went right through and into her chest." Matt stated. Don shook his head, taking in all the information.

"And Gunn…" Don asked meeting Matt's hazel eyes.

"He's dead." Matt said finally. Don bowed his head, clasping his hands together, before raising his eyes to Matt's again.

"Thank you," he said gratefully. Matt shook his head.

"Don't thank me yet," he muttered. Don turned his head towards Cory, who'd wrapped her arms around herself. She turned meeting his gaze.

"Don…I'm so sorry…" He could see she was stifling tears as she spoke; her guilt evident in her face.Letting out a deep sigh he shuffled closer to Cory and put his arm around her shoulders.

"It wasn't your fault…She wanted to do this," he told her. Cory sniffed a little before nodding. She still felt terrible, but she knew Don was right.

Don released her shoulders and returned to his section of the seating.

"Do the others know?" he asked quietly. Mac nodded.

"I left Stella in charge of the lab while we're here." Flack swallowed hard as he pushed away the image of an empty lab.

"You can go you know…I can handle this from here," Flack told them. All three of them shook their hands in response.

Acknowledging his defeat, Flack clasped his hands together and began to pray.

-------------------

"How's she doing?" the surgeon asked the nurse whose eyes were watching the monitor. The nurse shook her head, looking down at the young woman in front of her, the oxygen mask shielding the lower part of her face.

"Her blood pressure's still dropping," she confirmed. The surgeon shook his head before scanning the inside of the chest cavity. The monitor started to bleep suddenly. The surgeon's head swiveled towards the impatient beeping.

"She's crashing!" the nurse shouted s the surgeon saw streams of blood entering the young woman's chest cavity.

"Shit!" The surgeon thrust both hands into the woman's chest and began to massage her heart.

"Come on, Come on!" he muttered. The machine started its steady beeping again, jolting the surgeon out of his current dilemma. He took a deep breath to steady himself before looking down at the face of the young woman.

"That's the third time she's crashed doctor…Do you think she'll survive the night?" the nurse asked quietly, her head turning towards the doctors.

"I'm sure she'll try."

--------------------

It was two hours later that Doctor Preston washed his hands and broke into the harsh lights of the corridor. He was still dressed in surgical scrubs as he spotted the four people ahead of him. The woman with them spotted him first rising to her feet, her hand squeezing the shoulder of the tall dark haired man next to her. The fiancé he guessed. The fiancé rose to his feet and strode towards him followed by the other two men and the woman; he could tell they were all law enforcement. They're posture; the way they held themselves together was telling him this.

"Doctor?" The doctor nodded at them all before beginning, the fiancé first.

"Firstly, her injuries were complicated. The bullet went through the vest she was wearing and fragmented inside her. Some of the bullet became lodged in an artery causing a leak, we managed to stem the bleeding but she crashed again afterwards. We managed to revive her whilst fixing the other damage caused by the bullet but its touch and go; it's unlikely she'll make it through the night. I'm sorry." There was silence as he allowed them to take it all in.

"But there's a chance right? A chance she may pull through?" Flack asked the doctor, his face determined. Preston found himself admiring the young man's strength and hope.

"There's always a chance." He replied.

"She's in ICU at the moment. It's probably best visiting two at a time, you may find it overwhelming how she looks, but I assure you all it's all necessary." Preston moved to turn away.

"Doc? Is it alright if I stay… please can I stay with her." The fiancé was looking deep into his eyes; he felt his heart going out to the taller man. Preston nodded.

"Of course," he replied before taking off to check on his patient.

---------------------

The life support machine was bleeping quietly in the background as Don and Cory sat next to each. Don's eyes the soft curves of Carmen's face. It was the only way he could focus on her and not the tubes and wires running all over her body.

Don's elbows were leaning on his knees as he hunched over, his fingers laced as if in prayer. Cory patted his knee gently.

"She's a strong girl Flack…" she reassured him. Don nodded, pressing his hands against his forehead.

"I know…" he hesitated for a second. "I'm scared Cory…"

He wrapped his arms around himself staring at the floor.

"I can't do this without her, I really can't. I can't go back to an empty apartment, I just I wouldn't be able to handle it. She's the one solid thing in my life and I can't live without her, I really can't." Around his eyes were red and wet. He was blinking rapidly now trying to fight the tears that were rising at the thought of losing her. Cory studied him for a second, her chest tightening at the sigh before her. She wrapped her arms around him drawing him into a hug.

"Hey, you'll be ok, I promise you Don, everything will turn out in the end. Really it does." Don pulled away; turning his head away and discreetly wiping his eyes. His hand reached out and clasped Cory's.

"Thank…" A shriek cut through the air as the monitor of the life support machine started bleeping red. Don rose to his feet as the door was flung open in a stampede of doctors and nurses.

His heart was full of terror and disbelief as he was thrust towards the doorway.

"She's crashing again!"

"Get the pads!" Preston shouted to the nurse.

_Simona  
You're getting older  
Your journey's been etched  
On your skin_

"Carmen…" Flack whimpered. Cory's hand was over her mouth stifling the horror of the situation.

Preston rubbed the pads together before shouting "Clear!" Carmen's body lifted off the bed as the current ran though her.

"Carmen please!" Don begged as tears began to prick his eyes. Cory gave a choked sob as Preston screamed "Clear!"

Carmen's body thrust into the air again, with no response.

"Crank it up!" Preston shouted charging the pads again.

"Carmen you can't leave me. Please!" Flack's heart was breaking as he began to cry. Cory's hand groped for his, to comfort as Carmen's body bucked. The grief was crushing him now, he couldn't stand it.

_Wish I had known that  
What seemed so strong  
Has been and gone_

"Please Carmen, please just stay alive for me, please…" Flack's knees buckled as he slid to the floor sobbing, his eyes on her body as it lay motionless. Cory dropped down beside him, her arm going around his shoulders, holding him close trying to shield him form the pain.

_I would call you up every __Saturday night  
And we'd both stay out 'til the morning light  
And we sang, "Here we go again"_

"One more time! Come one Carmen!" Preston was screaming now, pads in hand. He forced them to her chest. As her body responded, the life support bleated into a steady bleeping. Don's head snapped towards the equipment as Preston stared at the monitor panting.

Flack took a deep breath trying to steady himself as Cory helped him to his feet. Preston stepped away from the bed, and found himself face to face with Flack.

"Thank you," Flack murmured to Preston, the tears still running down his face freely. He pushed the black hair off his forehead staring at Carmen's familiar form. Preston patted the other man's arm sympathetically.

"It's nothing," he uttered before leaving the room.

_And though time goes by  
I will always be  
In a club with you  
In 1973_

Don sunk down into the chair closed to Carmen taking he hand gently and caressing it with his fingers.

"You can't keep doing this you know." Flack told her, his eyes never leaving her face.

"You can't keep giving up; I need you Carmen I need you to live. I need you to wake up and be here…Please…" Carmen gave no response and for the rest of the night Don watched over Carmen and Cory watched over him.


	134. Chapter 134: Guilty Party

**AN: A bit of a diversion from the main arc. Enjoy!**

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Four

_What if everything you took for granted was gone?_

_And everything you ever thought was right was wrong?_

_And what if everyone you eve loved was torn _

_From the pages of your life?_

_Would you reach out for tomorrow_

_Or turn back time?_

_Bon Jovi – Open Arms_

The bar was vast and crowded, yet some how Cory Reid had managed to find a spare stool in which to perch on. She ordered the bottle to be placed next to her and sat alone quietly slamming from the glass. Thoughts were whirring around her head as she swallowed shot after shot of the fiery liquid. She couldn't get the images of Carmen's body bucking in the air as they thrust the pads onto her chest. A shiver ran through her as her thoughts shifted to Don as he fell to his knees on the ground as she crashed. She'd never seen him cry before, ever, she hadn't ever imaged that he'd ever have the capacity to cry until he was begging his lover to live.

Cory poured another glass and tipped it back. It was her fault this had happened she concluded dully. Carmen shouldn't have even been on that raid, but Cory had pushed and pushed the suggestion forward until it was agreed. Even Mac had had his reservations, but she hadn't listened…She clenched the glass tightly in her hand, squeezing it almost to breaking point. She pushed back the stream of tears that was threatening to erupt from her.

Carmen was her friend, despite their differences at the beginning; she'd warmed to the other woman. She'd found the strength to let go of James through the other woman. She was supposed to be her bridesmaid for Christ's Sake but she's almost got Carmen killed. Don was barely holding everything together and Cory knew he'd go off the deep end if Carmen didn't pull through this. She'd been relieved when Stella had turned up with a tired smile and a basket of muffins; she said they were for Carmen when she woke up. Don had cracked a smile at that. Stella could offer Flack hope, but Cory had nothing left expect a crushing darkness looming over her.

Her thoughts went back to the raid, how could have done things differently, she could have put Carmen in her team. Yet she trusted Matt to watch over and Mac to be there with her, she hadn't thought of the complications of the gun fight or the possibility of they're being more of the Mob occupying the house than she had originally estimated. She'd fucked up major. Cory put her head in her hands. Carmen had to live through this, but even if she did would there be anyway that she could possibly forgive her?

Cory took a deep breath and took another shot.

------------------------

Ray had been watching over Cory for the past few minutes now. He wiped down the bar again shaking his head. He'd heard about what had happened to the other cop, he knew the agent must be feeling guilty. He'd tried talking to her but with no avail. She just wouldn't see sense. Ray was an ex-cop himself, when he'd retired he'd opened this bar near the station house. He knew what Cory was going through. He knew how close the team were and how they'd be affected by something like this.

Cory gestured for another drink. Ray shook his head.

"No more for you little lady." He told her as her head sank into her arms on to the bar so her face was buried.

"You got anyone you want me to call?" Ray asked Cory quietly. Cory shook her auburn head **no**. Ray sighed picking up her cell phone and flicking through the phone book until he found a name he recognized.

"Hey, it's Ray. I got a friend of yours here."

--------------------

Danny was just entering his apartment, his arms packed with grocery bags, some for him and some fore Flack whom he knew hadn't left the hospital since Carmen had been admitted. His cell phone started to ring as he was midway through the front door. He jiggled the brown paper bags trying to reach into his back pocket searching for the offending item. He grabbed the phone as one of the bags slid from under his arm and showered the floor in a mix of snack bars and packets of chips.

He groaned before propping the other bag onto the kitchen table and answering his phone.

"Messer."

"Hey it's Ray. I got a friend of yours here." Danny traced his memory for a second before remembering that Ray was in fact the owner of their regular bar.

"Hey Ray…Which one?" he asked leaning against the table, already making a pretty decent guess which one it was.

"Not sure of her name. Fed, auburn hair, southern?" Ray described.

"Cory Reid." Danny offered, grabbing his keys out of the grocery bag and moving towards his apartment door.

"She's pretty out of it. She's drank the best part of a bottle of tequila."

"I'm on my way." Danny reassured the bar man slamming the door behind him.

---------------------

"Hey Ray, I can take it from here, don't worry." Danny said appearing at Cory's side, as she slid off her stool for the third time already. Danny reached out and grabbed her before she could hit the floor. He lifted her in his arms as if she weighted nothing. Ray moved forward ahead of Danny to hold the door open for him.

"Thanks." Danny muttered, manoeuvring Cory through the door frame.

"No problem, you just take care of her." Ray said moving towards Danny's car and opened the passenger side door for him. Danny thanked him again before Ray retreated back to the shelter of the bar.

"Cory…can you stand up for me?" Danny asked, Cory nodded her response as Danny gently put her down, and wrapped her arm around his neck as her knees went from underneath her.

"I need you to help me get you in the car ok?" Cory's head lolled forward. Danny sighed and began to tuck her into the passenger seat, fixing her seat belt across her chest before climbing into the driver's seat.

--------------------

"Cory I need you to stand up again for me, while I unlock the door." Danny told her as they stood outside the apartment door. Cory nodded, swaying where she stood as Danny propped open his door. He took her hand and led her in slightly before she fell against him giggling. Danny caught her before she could fall to the ground, locking his arms around her waist. Her head was on his chest. He could hear his heart thumping in his chest at the proximity of her body. She raised her head and looked in his eyes.

"You have beautiful eyes," she murmured before her gaze moved downwards to his mouth. Before he knew it her lips were on his and they were kissing. Cory's fingers were tugging at his coat. He managed to pull away holding her at arms length.

"Cory I can't…" he muttered breathless. Cory's face crumbled for a second before being replaced by a hard mask.

"It was fine for you when you kissed me the other night," she snarled Danny stared at her blankly for a minute before everything began to click into place. The memory flooded back to him and he suddenly realized why she'd been avoiding him.

"Shit Cory. I didn't mean it…" Cory's jaw dropped.

"You didn't mean it?! Was I supposed to be a replacement for Lindsey that night? I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you needed," she snapped, tears forming in her eyes. Danny stared at her puzzled getting the feeling there was a lot more behind this than met the eye. Danny held her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.

"Cory you're everything I needed, just being around you makes me feel wanted…That's why I kissed you. When Lindsey left I felt rejected, like I wasn't good enough, and then with you I felt like we matched, like I didn't have to put on a face and pretend everything was ok," he tried to explain. Cory shook her head and tried to pull away.

"I can't do that for you. I couldn't help you…I couldn't help her…" A sob erupted from Cory's mouth as Danny caught hold of her arm, and pulled her to him. Cory melted into his chest as she began to break down. Danny wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on her head, soothingly stroking her hair.

"Cory, it's not your fault Carmen was shot, it was her decision to do the raid," Danny tried to reassure her.

"She nearly died right in front of us, they were putting the pads on her chest and she wasn't responding," Cory choked, clutching Danny's shirt, he could feel her tears on his chest. His kissed her forehead.

"She'll pull through this, she has to," he murmured his heart wrenching. He knew she was feeling responsible for this. He wanted to take away that pain from her, but he could do nothing except hold her as she cried onto his chest.

"I'm sorry Cory, but your not responsible for this, the person who shot her is dead and there's nothing you could have done." Danny pleaded looking down as Cory raised her beautiful tear streaked face towards him. He brushed the strands of hair away from her face, his eyes on hers.

"Trust me you did everything you could, I know you feel awful, who wouldn't? But you have to believe me, this isn't your fault." Cory nodded, she spent so much time trying to be strong and right now she needed someone to be strong for her. Danny took a step back and clasped her hand leading her to the bed room. For a second she was confused and hurt, thinking he was trying to take advantage of her until he spoke.

"You can take the bed; I'll take the couch this time." A soft smile crossed his face as he pulled back the bedding for her. Cory took her shoes off and jacket off and climbed into the bed whilst Danny began to take sheets out of his wardrobe.

The bed felt huge and alien to her as she curled up into a tiny ball, the tears still leaking down her face. She sniffed a little trying to hide it from Danny. She knew she'd failed when she felt the weight on the bed shift. He sat next to her on the bed, smoothing her hair gently. There were no more words left for either of them to say. Cory had to recover from this on her own, she had to set her own mind straight, all he could do was try and comfort her as best as he could.

"Danny?" Cory's voice was childlike, making his heart melt, as his fingers ran through her hair.

"Hm…" Cory turned her head to him slightly and he could see the sorrow in her face.

"Could you…could you just hold me for a little while?" Danny was surprised, she never asked for help. He took off his own shoes and shrugged off his jacket before climbing under the covers and curling his body around her shaking form. His chest was pressed against her back as he wrapped his arms around her.

Danny couldn't help but marvel at the how well they fit together. There was no awkwardness between them, this was completely natural. Listening to her breathing he propped his head up on his arm and watched her sleep throughout the night.


	135. Chapter 135: Home Made

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Five

_Well it's a big big city and it's always the same  
Can never be too pretty tell me you your name  
Is it out of line if I were so bold to say "Would you be mine"?_

_The Fratellies – Whistle For The Choir_

The hospital, as usual, was crowded when Taylor Turner stepped into the lift next to the muscular man with dark hair. She pushed the button, the hold all bag swinging as she clasped it by both straps with both hands. She glanced sideways at the man next to her, her eyes straying up his body until she reached his face. The man turned his head towards her a small grin playing on his handsome features. Taylor blushed bright red as the lift came to a halt.

"If it helps I was checking you out too," he remarked as he squeezed past her and into the corridor. Taylor's face flushed to beetroot red as she stepped out two steps behind him. They both traipsed down the corridor until they reached the final door at the end. Taylor frowned as the guy reached for the door handle. Matt sensing her eyes on him turned his head towards her.

"Friend of the bride or the groom?" he asked humorously. Taylor tilted her head either way thoughtfully,.

"A bit of both, though I've know Don longer." She answered, studying the guy again with interest.

"I was in the academy with Carmen. I'm in Tactical Ops." Matt told her, answering the silent question.

"You were on the raid," Taylor blurted out suddenly. Something flitted across his face that Taylor almost missed; she thought it was guilt. Matt turned his had away and looked through the window of the room, his gaze flicking to Flack.

"Yea, that was me." He sighed.

"I heard you saved her life," Taylor offered, wondering why she felt she wanted to make him feel better.

"She shouldn't have been there in the first place," Matt replied shaking his head. Taylor pursed her lips for a second, unsure what to say.

"What's in the bag?" she asked suddenly pointing to the carrier bag in his hands. Matt opened it a little for her to see into. Curious, Taylor leaned over and peeked into the bag to see three plastic containers full of little ready made meals.

"Did your girlfriend make those?" she asked without thinking. Matt shook his head with another smile crossing his lips.

"Nope, that's all me, I know he's been surviving on candy bars and machine coffee the last two days so I thought it would do him some good to eat something proper for when she wakes up." Matt shrugged, a blush creeping up his own face.

"Wow you're a way better cook than I am; I saw homemade lasagna in there." Taylor grinned, already liking the man in front of her.

"I'll cook for you sometime if you want." He had no idea where the words had come from but now they were out there sitting out in the open. Taylor studied him for a second.

"I'd like that," she said softly. Matt's face lit up. It had been hard for him talking to girls he was interested in after the divorce. He got on well with female officers because he treated them with the same indifference as he did with the male ones, but looking at Taylor now, he felt a spark of something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Matt Sullivan." He stuck his hand out to introduce himself. Taylor took it and shook it firmly.

"Taylor Turner." Matt stared at her surprised.

"You write a column don't you?" he asked, trying to remember the name of it. Taylor felt her face heat up again.

"You read it?"

"A few times, I rarely read the paper, but you seem to really know what you're talking about," he told her honestly. Taylor nodded humbly.

"Thank you."

"You wanna go in first?" Matt said indicating to the door. Taylor reached for the door handle.

"You can try and help me get Flack to leave the room long enough for him to shower and change his clothes," she half joked before pushing the door open for them both to step through.

-----------------------

"So, we have three changes of clothes, some shower gel I nabbed out of your bathroom. What I can only guess is Carmen's shampoo, as I don't think you're too bothered about wavy locks." Flack gave Taylor a small smile at this before she continued.

"And I threw in a few books and I charged my Ipod and put some songs I thought you'd like on it," she told him handing the hold all in his direction. Flack took it from her hands and stared down at the bag.

"Thank you for all of this," he told her openly.

"No problem. Carmen would kill us if she knew you weren't looking after yourself," she chided. Flack nodded his response.

"Hence why I brought you these," Matt said handing him the carrier bag of food. He watched as Flack sifted through it.

"You've got lasagna, chicken and black bean sauce, cottage pie. I'll be back with some more after work tomorrow night," Matt told him patting Flack on the shoulder. Flack stared at him surprised.

"Thank you, really Matt, thanks." Flack uttered running a hand through his hair. There was a silence between them as Flack hesitated not knowing how to express his gratefulness more.

"Why don't you get a shower and get changed?" Taylor broke in. Flack shot a look at Carmen's bed for a second.

"We'll stay here and watch over her. If anything happens we'll come get you," Matt added knowingly. Flack tore his gaze away from the bed and nodded before muttering his thanks and exiting the room. Matt moved to the other side of the room pulling a second chair next to the one Taylor had settled in.

"He's been by her side day and night you know," she muttered her eyes on Carmen's face.

"She's a lucky girl to have a guy like him watching over her," Matt said studying the profile of Taylor's face.

"It just seems so wrong that this had to happen to them. Especially two weeks before they're wedding. I keep thinking what if she doesn't' wake up in time for the wedding?" Taylor confessed.

"I've never met two people who deserve each other more, this just seems so unfair." Taylor's voice broke a little as she sniffled. Matt moved his chair closer and put an arm around her shoulders.

"The thing is they will get through it. I was talking with Stella the other day and she told me everything these two had gone through. I mean I couldn't dream of coping with half of the stuff they have and yet they're still together, and they've overcome so many things…" Matt paused.

"It doesn't matter if they don't make it to this wedding, because there's no doubt about the fact they will make it to the alter at some point," Matt reassured her. Taylor wiped at the wetness of her eyes, nodding.

"You're right. We just need to wait for her to wake up…Was her hand doing that before?" Taylor blurted out pointing at Carmen's hand. Carmen's finger's were curling into a small fist and then stretching out again.

"Shit! I think she's waking up," Matt said jumping to his feet. Taylor followed suit, slamming her hand on the call button.

"Go get Flack!" she called to Matt who was already opening the door, and sprinting down the corridor.


	136. Chapter 136: Alive

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Six

_I never really felt quite the same since I lost what I had to gain_

_No one to blame, no one to blame_

_It seems to me_

_You can't turn back the hands of time_

_Groove Armada – Hands of Time _

I was leaning up against my pillows as Doctor Preston sat on the edge of my bed, shining a light in my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" he asked clicking off the light, and began studying my complexion.

"Sick, and sore, very sore in my chest." I told him putting my hand to the offending area of my body. Taylor was hovering nervously nearby, her hand against her mouth pacing.

"Well that's to be expected, the wound from the gunshot is healing up nicely but you won't be able to do anything strenuous for a while. Your feeling sick because of the medication you're on at the minute, plus your whole system was thrown into shock from the surgery. The feeling will pass in a few hours hopefully." I took a deep breath to steady myself as I leant further back onto my pillow. I felt weary and ill, the pain in my chest was continuous and antagonizing.

Doctor Preston stayed perched at the edge of my bed.

"If you have any questions feel free to ask," he said kindly, his dark eyes shining. I put a hand to my head.

"How long have I been out?" I asked glancing at the multitude of bright colored flowers throughout the room.

"You've been unconscious for three days now. Your body's been recovering from the effects of the shock and surgery," Doctor Preston answered. I stared at him stunned for a minute before taking a deep breath.

"It could have been worse…" I said slowly.

"It's a good thing to be positive," Doctor Preston told me.

"I can't believe I've been out three days," I admitted shaking my head.

"We're just glad it was only three days," Doctor Preston said patting my arm.

"What's the date today?" I asked, struggling to find a position I felt comfortable with.

"It's the fifteenth of October." Doctor Preston told me gently.

"I'm getting married in a week and a half," I told him feeling woozy. My head was spinning a little.

"We'll have to see about that. There was severe damage to the inside of your chest, it's a miracle you're not dead. The bullet went in there." He pointed to where most of the pain was radiating from.

"And fragmented inside of your body after impacting with one of your ribs. We had to withdraw the fragments, one of which had buried itself inside one of your arteries and was creating a trickle of blood into your chest. We managed to stop the bleeding but your still fragile. You're going to be on morphine for the next week until we can take another x-ray and see how you're healing." I let out a long sigh and rested my head on the pillow staring at the ceiling.

I closed my eyes tightly feeling the tears welling up. I was alive, that's all that mattered right now.

Doctor Preston stood up and looked down at me with a sympathetic smile.

"I'll see what I can do, but in the meanwhile, if you have any questions I want you to get one of the nurses to page me and I'll be here as soon as possible to answering them." I nodded turning my head towards him, a grim smile on my face.

"Thank you Doctor." I watched Doctor's Preston's retreating back as he left the room.

"Wow this is scary," I murmured as Taylor moved closer towards me.

"I can imagine," Taylor replied with a small smile.

"It's nice to see you awake though, Danny's been getting unruly with out you there to verbally batter him into shape," she joked. I let out a small laugh that caused my chest to hurt even more.

"Ok laughing is bad." I wheezed clutching my chest for a second. I caught the look of concern on Taylor's face as she reached for the call button. I shook my head.

"I'm fine, it's just gonna take a while to get used to. How's Flack been doing?" I asked her pointedly, she knew I was demanding the honest answer.

"He's been doing the best he could," she confided. "He hasn't left your side since you were admitted, we've been bringing him muffins and things, I brought a spare change of clothes for him and Matt made little meals since he was living off candy bars. We made him go get a shower, hence the reason he's not here now. Matt's gone to grab him. I am so happy you're awake." I found myself being drawn into a small hug by Taylor. I patted her hand as she drew away.

"Thanks for helping take care of him, I can't imagine what it's been like the last few days for you guys," I spoke searching her face. I knew she was tough but I could see a little strain in her eyes.

"Don, Cory and Matt seem to have been taking it the hardest. I was speaking to Danny yesterday when he was here and he said Cory feels pretty responsible for getting you in on the raid. I know Matt feels the same…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"I think they'll all just be glad you made it." I nodded, leaning back against my pillows.

The door swung open suddenly, almost making me jump as Flack careened through the door, his hair still soaking wet from the shower. He appeared at my side in a moment and wrapped his arms lightly around me. He held me as if I were fragile and kissed my forehead.

"God I missed you," he uttered, as I pulled away slightly and met cornflower blue eyes unable to tear myself away.

"I love you," I blurted out before my lips were on his. The kiss had all the passion to make me go weak at the knees had I been standing up. My hands were on his cheeks as I saw tears glistening in his eyes.

"I'm here now. I promise," I murmured kissing each tear that escaped his eyes. Flack let out a breath of relief as all the tension eased out of his tall frame. He pulled away slipping into the chair next to me, cupping my hand in his. My eyes rose to Matt who was standing next to Taylor, looking a bit teary eyed himself.

"Thank you," I told him. He gave me a swift nod before speaking.

"I think me and Taylor are gonna go tell the others that your awake." I gave him a grateful smile as he put a hand on Flack's shoulder to get his attention.

"I'll be back tomorrow with some more meals for you both." Flack nodded before standing up and pulling him into a man hug. Matt looked phased as Flack pulled away.

"Thanks for everything, man," Flack told him pointedly. Matt shrugged.

"Really no biggie," Matt said embarrassed, before holding open the door for Taylor, who gave me a wave.

"I'll see you tomorrow Carmen, now don't do anything I wouldn't do," she said wagging a finger. I couldn't suppress the laughter bubbling up in me as Matt rolled his eyes and closed the door behind her.

I rolled onto my side and rested my head on the pillow to get into a comfortable position so I was facing Flack as he rested his head on his arms, tracing the curves of my face with his fingers. I watched his face as he traced mine gently.

"You look tired," I remarked softly.

"You know I don't sleep well when you're not sleeping next to me," he returned with a little frown on his face.

"Me neither," I admitted. "I'm not sure I'm going to be out of hospital in time for us to get married. Doctor Preston said he'd do what he can."

Flack cut me off, running a hand over my hair.

"Shh, that doesn't matter right now; all that matter's is that you're awake," he told me with a soft smile.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. Flack frowned, still stroking my hair as I gazed at his face.

"What for?" he asked confused.

"For getting shot…and for scaring you like this. I shouldn't have even gone on the stupid raid. I should have listened to my gut." Flack grinned shaking his head.

"But that wouldn't have been the Carmen Devine I wanted to marry." I found myself smiling despite of everything. Yes, I was stubborn and pig headed, but it was part of me that he would never try to change.

Flack took my hand entwining his fingers in mind as I felt my eyes flickering closed. I opened them again trying to stay awake.

"It's wrong that after three days of being a sleep I still want to go back to sleep," I muttered. Flack's hand on mine was reassuring as his thumb played over my knuckles.

"Go to sleep and I'll watch over you," he offered, as my eyes closed again.

"And you'll still be here?" I asked like a child.

"Always."


	137. Chapter 137: Dresses

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Seven

_I must go on standing_

_You can't break that _

_That isn't yours._

_Regina Spektor – Must Go On Standing_

"Hey, look here. She is stuffing her face again!" Danny joked as he burst into the room, almost making me choke on the lasagne that Matt had brought for me. He was closely followed by Cory and Stella who were carrying large zipped up garment bags.

"Ah so you both heard the good news I take it?" I asked them forking more food into my mouth as they entered the room properly and closed the door behind them. It had been five days since I'd woken up and Doctor Preston had cleared me to leave the day before the wedding, providing that if I had any problems I would come to him immediately.

"I'm surprised Flack hasn't been shouting it from the rooftops by now." Danny snorted settling into the chair next to me and picking up my fork and taking a bite out of the lasagne.

"Hm that's good, that's almost better than my mama's home cooking," he groaned.

"Matt made it," I told him snatching back my fork and narrowing my eyes at Danny. Danny let out a laugh before standing up again, and surprising me with a kiss on the cheek.

"I have to shoot off again and get back to work before Mac realizes I'm gone, but I'll be back later," he promised. I grinned at him.

"Bring a deck of cards; I wanna win some money Messer," I called after him; he flashed me a warm smile as he exited the room leaving me with Cory and Stella, who were both beaming at me.

"So what do we have?" I asked them, turning my upper body to face the two women with garment bags.

"Well, we decided to buy our own bridesmaid dresses. So that saves you and Don on the cost and we can reuse them too. George is a genius; he designed these dresses to compliment the picture of the wedding dress we took with us," Stella enthused as she talked about her designer friend, who had helped us out more than once.

Cory unzipped her garment bag at the same time as Stella revealing a gorgeous blush of wine red. Both girls carefully removed the dresses from the garment bags, letting me get a proper view of them.

The dresses were the same design, floor length with tiny straps supporting the bodices. The top of the dress was boned to fit the occupant's body exactly. A tiny ribbon ended with a bow on the right side before giving way to a slinky skirt that sashayed as the wearer walked.

"They're beautiful," I murmured stunned by the majestic grace of the dresses. They both began to put their dresses back into the garment bags, with knowing smiles.

"I can't thank you guys enough, for doing this. It's a weight off my mind."

"Seriously, it's the least we could do," Cory uttered with smile coming over and giving me a big hug. Stella moved to the second chair that was a permanent placement at my bedside and dropped into it.

"So the plan still the same?" she asked with a knowing smile.

"Definitely. Flack will be dropping me off at your place around six, and then I'm all yours," I told her unable to stop grinning. Cory reached over and squeezed my hand as she took the seat next to Stella.

"I am so glad you guys are actually doing this. I can't imagine two people I'd love to see happy." I bowed my head with a tiny smile.

"Fingers crossed for this time." I remarked dryly. Stella gave me a wink as she spoke.

"I'm sure this one will go a lot better." I looked her up and down suspiciously.

"You know something." I commented, raising an eyebrow. Stella's grin got wider.

"I know a lot of something's, Miss Devine but it doesn't mean I'm telling you a thing about them." She retorted. I tilted my head and pouted, giving her my best sad face, but Stella was having none of it.

"Anyway…" Cory interrupted as Stella stuck her tongue out at me.

"Everything for the wedding is set, between us and Don we managed to make sure everything's on track." Cory reassured me.

"That's great. Seriously, I don't know how to thank you guys." Cory shook her head.

"There's no need, we're just glad that you're doing ok." She told me affectionately.

"Do you want to run through the schedule once more before we have to leave?" Stella asked me. I could tell I'd made a good choice having her as my maid of honour. She had the precision and order of a military general.

"Sure," I replied settling back against my pillow, ignoring the consistent ache in my chest. Cory took the little plate of leftovers off my bed and set it on my bedside. I gave her a thankful nod as I felt tiredness overwhelm me.

"Right we're going the hairdressers at nine thirty, at eleven…." The soothing tempo of Stella's voice was making my eyes flutter closed. I found myself slipping into a dreamless sleep.

------------------

Flack was studying the report in front of him, chewing the lid on his pen when Stella appeared at his desk. He leaned back in his chair, and raised his eyes to her face.

"She like the dresses?" he asked with a tiny smile. Stella gave him a smile and a nod.

"She loved them, she was pretty tired though, and she fell asleep while I was telling her what the plan was," Stella told Flack, whilst handing him the report she'd been working on. He took it from her and set it on his desk.

"I think she's trying to get better so quickly she just ends up tiring herself out. She hates the idea she's going to be cooped up in the lab for the next few months," he confessed, shaking his head.

"The doctor said it was normal though especially in people who are so active," he continued.

"Well I wrote down the schedule and left it on her bed, so she can take a look through it when she wakes up…I take it you don't intend on telling her about the little honeymoon you've got planned?" Stella teased leaning against his desk. Flack grinned, shaking his head, and putting a finger to his lips to shush her.

"That's between us both Miss Bonsara, now let me do some work before I take off and get married." Flack dimpled, whilst Stella complied.

------------------------------------

_Right dudes this is my first time writing review replies so they'll be one for everyone who reviewed over the past few chapters. Oh and come on guys check out __**Gotham's Heroes**__ I think some of you will love it. It has Taylor Turner, Cory Reid and Carmen Divine all as the main stars!_

_Soccer-Bitch:__ Thank you! It's always nice to hear your thoughts on a chapter. I'll be updating as soon as I can, I'm a few chapters ahead of this one._

_Maddy Bellows:__ lol! I wanted to make a little bit of private time between the two of them, I wanted to show they still cared about each other deeply without going all mushy with words, hence I got the idea to just have them sort of lean on each other. Flack had to be the strong one here, but he had t show her he was pretty vulnerable and Carmen had to show she knew what he was thinking. Anyway sorry for rambling. I always love your reviews I am gonna try desperately to catch up with your stories and I have a bit of a favour to ask but I'll pm you._

_Sparkycsi:__ My wonderful beta, I have to say thanks for betaing and I know you're busy but thanks for getting this chapter out to me. Anyway despite the fact you already pre-read the chapters you always leave me nice reviews, and its lovely you do that, it keeps me writing._

_Demolished-soul:__ Hey, I always love the reviews you leave, they make me keep writing and I think you're the only person who's been reviewing the whole way through. You read my mind! I was considering doing the hospital wedding thing. My beta checked out how long it would take for Carmen to heal and we found out she'd pretty much be able to leave before the wedding so I was like yay! _

_Sunny3886:__ Taylor Turner has done quite a few cameos in my story, I even made a back story about how she and Don broke up, it's only small bits and pieces but if you look closely it is in the story. I can't believe you read this story virtually in a whole night. I am glad you like it so much a lot of hard work has gone into it, it's my baby!_

_Sanghian:__ Howdy! Lol I didn't even realise I did that with the Preston thing, I wanted to make the Doctor more personally allocated with Carmen and Flack so I tried to think of a name. I was thinking about doing a cameo with some of the Grey's Anatomy staff, Maybe Burke was visiting from New York. But I thought it would cause too much trouble for me in the long run so I decided to use Burke's first name instead which is Preston. Hence how that occurred._

_Bluehaven4220:__ lol Glad to hear from you again! I flick through your stories from time to time but sometimes I don't get a chance to review. It's nice to see your still with me!_

_Forest Angel:__ I couldn't help but leave you guys with a cliff hanger, I had no idea where I was gonna go from that point, but hey I worked it out and I'm glad you kept reading._

_Axellia:__ I love your reviews, I really do, they make me laugh. LMAO I wish I would have the same willpower, if Flack did that to me I'd be straight in there lol (ok that sounded desperate) Anyway I know your busy as hell but at some point try and slow down!_


	138. Chapter 138: Frayed Nerves

**AN: Special thanks to my wonderful beta Sparkycsi, she is amazing ladies and gents!**

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Eight

_You should never fight your feelings,  
When your very bones believe them,  
You should never fight your feelings,  
You have to follow nature's law._

_Embrace – Nature's Law_

There was an insistent tapping on the side of my head as I struggled to open my eyes. I was lying on my stomach in Stella's bed. I waved my hand in the general direction of the tapping to make it cease. It stopped…For about a minute before continuing with renewed force.

"Jesus how does Flack wake her up?" I heard Cory ask Stella.

"In far nicer ways than you two want to know…." I replied snuggling closer into the duvet I was lying in. The tapping continued until I pulled the duvet over my head.

"Come on, wake up it's your wedding day sleepyhead." It took the phrase two minutes to tick over until Cory tore the cover from me. My eyes shot wide open.

"Shit I'm getting married today," I remarked jumping to my feet. Cory rolled her eyes.

"Yes, yes you are and we need to be at the hair dressers in forty five minutes." I stared at her wide eyed as Stella thrust a mug of coffee into my hand.

"Go. Shower. Now!" She said pushing me in the direction of her bathroom. I practically ran to it swigging my coffee.

---------------------------

I was helping Stella zip up the back of her dress when Cory walked into the room. Her hair was swept upwards so her curls were held in place by tiny hair clips. Strands of hair framed her beautiful face.

"You both look stunning," I said stepping back from Stella and looking at them both. It was true, their dresses fitted them perfectly, and their hair and make up looked spectacular.

"It's time to get you into your dress." Stella said pointedly. I nodded happily, starting to feel slightly nervous. I hadn't tried Cory's dress on since the night she'd given it to me. I nodded as Stella took it out of the hanger and I began to take off the clothes I was wearing.

Cory whistled catching a look at the underwear I was going to be wearing underneath the wedding dress.

"Flack's definitely going to be one lucky man tonight," she remarked with a dirty smile. I blushed for a second before stepping into the white folds of the dress, and then pulling it up until it reached my chest. Stella stood behind me and zipped the dress up the back before I stared at myself in the mirror.

"You look exquisite." Cory murmured staring at my reflection in the mirror. The strapless bodice of the dress clung to me like a second skin, making my figure more predominant. An intricate white rose set off the bodice giving it a unique pattern. The skirt flounced outwards like a ball gown moving as I did. My hair was pulled back into a half up, half down hair style, strands of curls framing my face. I looked beautiful.

Cory wrapped her arms around me hugging my close.

"You and that dress were made for each other," she murmured before taking a step back. Her eyes went to the clock as Stella glanced at the time on her cell.

"Hey wasn't the car supposed to be here ten minutes ago?"

------------------------

"You are shitting me? Please tell me you're shitting me?! " Flack was yelling into his phone. Danny was tapping his foot at his best friend with impatience, until he saw the look of absolute horror cross Flack's face.

"I am not on call! God damn it! I am getting married today!" Flack was practically screaming now. He checked his watch.

"I'm getting married in thirty minutes! I am not leaving this hotel to go work on a crime scene in my dress uniform!" Flack's face turned incredulous as he listened to the captain talking on the phone.

"For once, I couldn't give two shits about a triple homicide in the Bronx, do you not understand that I am getting married today?! I don't care if Williams is dying of a horrific disease that only monkeys can get, call anyone you damn well like, but do not call me." He ended promptly hanging up and turning off his cell, before looking up at Danny.

"I advise you do the same," he muttered still seething from the utter nerve of his Captain. Danny followed suit before leaning forward straightening Flack's tie.

"Right you ready to do this?" Danny asked him looking at him pointedly. Flack gave a firm nod.

"Man, I've been waiting to do this ever since I met her. I can't believe it's going to actually happen this time." Danny gave Flack a warm pat on the back.

"I can't believe your leaving us bachelors to fend for ourselves," Danny joked, grabbing the door handle for the main function room. Flack rolled his eyes.

"You haven't been a bachelor for a long time Messer. Besides, it'll be you and Cory walking up the aisle next." Danny's jaw dropped as Flack's words hit him.

"Funny Flack, very funny," Danny said wryly before pulling open the door for Flack and holding it open.

"After you Mr Flack."

-----------------------

"The cars aren't coming. They double booked and won't be free for another hour." Stella confirmed as she hung up the phone, her eyes meeting mine. I felt a mix of panic in my chest as I checked the clock.

"I am getting married in thirty minutes and its morning rush hour traffic out there." I exclaimed, trying to keep myself calm despite the fact I was absolutely livid.

"Catching a cab is going to be a problem, let alone getting across town in the time it takes to get through traffic." I put my hands over my face trying to come up with a logical plan.

"I've just tried Flack and Danny's cell phones they're both off." Cory said, looking equally as horrified at this situation. I put a hand to my head and sat down before my knees buckled from under me. I found myself taking shallow breathes, feeling a fully fledged panic attack coming on.

"Carmen breathe…come on breathe." Stella was kneeling down in front of me, her hands resting on my shoulders.

"Look at me. You will be getting to your wedding, maybe just a little bit later than expected, but you are still getting married today." I nodded trying to breathe deeply as Cory held up her cell phone and began dialling.

"I have an idea," she murmured before speaking into the phone.

--------------------

"I can't believe you did this." I muttered at Cory as she sat tightly squeezed in between me and Stella as we hurtled down the roads, winding in and out of car lanes, sirens screeching.

"It's the only think I could think of." She retorted, trying to peer through the mesh between us and the patrol cop.

"I didn't expect to be driving to my wedding in the back of my patrol car; I have to tell you that." I began to giggle at the whole ridiculous situation.

"I didn't have any limos on speed dial." Cory was now beginning to snigger too; Stella was in a full gale of laughter.

"At least you're arriving in true NYPD style," she laughed.

"I can not believe this." I struggled to hold in my hysteria as I checked the time on the clock by the driver. We had five minutes until the wedding started.

The patrol cop hit the breaks as we slid to a screeching halt in front of the hotel. For a second I felt my stomach lurch before getting a hold of self as the patrol man opened the door letting the three of us spill into the street.

"Thank you so much," I told Officer Lily as he helped me out of the back.

"Anytime, seriously just get hitched to that guy of yours," he told me, I threw him a grateful smile before following Stella and Cory as they hurried up the steps and through the double doors instead of the revolving one. We broke into the lobby, ignoring the looks people were giving us as we sped past. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins as I hurtled up another set of stairs.

The sign for our wedding was propositioned next to the stairway. I glanced at it as I darted past towards the rest of the bridal party who were waiting for us.

"For a second there…" Danny remarked looking directly at me as Mac checked his watch and looked relieved.

"We had to get a squad car!" I exclaimed. Danny's face turned into an unbelievable grin.

"No shit?!" I shook my head.

"No shit."

"Definitely an NYPD wedding," Mac smirked before kissing my cheek lightly.

"You look stunning," he told me holding out his arm as Stella thrust the bouquet of cream roses into my hands.

"Thank you, you looking mighty handsome yourself Mac," I replied taking a deep breath to steel myself, as the music cued. Stella and Sheldon linked arms before stepping into the aisle confidently.

Cory gave Danny a shy look as he held out his arm to her. He bowed his head murmuring something into her ear as she took it before they stepped onto the plush red carpet.

"You ready?" Mac asked me. I nodded as we stepped out into the archway.

-----------------------------------------------

_It's review reply time again! Okies guys I really am gonna push this __**Gotham's Heroes **__story. We worked our asses of on it so go look. It'll be fun and I will hand out cookies_

_Nikkilou: __It's nice to see you pop out of the woodwork! I'm afraid it's highly unlikely we're going to see the return of Lindsey. My apologies. I'm just not a big DL shipper. My Danny character seems to have developed feelings for Cory Reid, so I'm sorry! But here's the next chapter and I have a few more on the way._

_Madison Bellows:__ Hey girl! Lol You have no idea how long me and my beta spent trawling through dress sites trying to get the perfect design and colour and things. In the end I was relieved when I was writing this chapter just so I could get the dresses out of my head and focus on the rest of the story. You'll find out more about the honeymoon in chapter 140. As usual thanks for the review they make me smile._

_Soccer-Bitch__: lol It's taken them a long time to get there but the wedding is in the next chapter. I found the reception more fun to write though. I hope you like the next few chapters._

_Demolished-soul:__ Seriously it's no problem, I love getting reviews like yours. Lol I am glad I maintained your interest in this story. Fingers crossed for the next few chapters. She does deserve a proper wedding and had the feeling there would be a lot of red tape surrounding a hospital wedding. To be honest I had better fun writing the reception opposed to the wedding would you believe._


	139. Chapter 139: Getting Hitched

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Nine

_It's just the two of us_

_A silver cross_

_And some strength you won't believe._

_Our Lady of Peace – Wipe That Smile Off Your Face_

My hand rested gently on Mac's arm as we stepped into the frame of the archway and onto the aisle. The rows of seats were long and I could feel the eyes of the room on me as Mac led me down the aisle. The music sounded like a classical quartet. I admired Don's choice as each step led me closer and closer to the tiny alter.

The reverend was standing upon it. He greeted me with a warm smile across the room as we stepped gradually closer. I was thankful Mac was here to help me keep pace. There was nothing more I wanted to do than rush down that aisle and utter the words I do.

My gaze diverted as the classical music continued to play; falling upon Flack's handsome head of dark hair. His gorgeous blue eyes locked on mine as a contented expression crossed his face. I was beaming as Mac kissed my cheek gently and then took his place along side the rest of the wedding party.

I raised my head, never breaking Flack's gaze. I couldn't stop the happiness that was bubbling up inside me, yet there was still a little niggling that something else would happen, and I couldn't shake it.

"We are here today to celebrate the union between Donald Joseph Flack and Carmen Cassidy Devine…" I clenched my jaw for a second, feeling my eyes raise to the ceiling waiting fir the cracks to appear, or for some sort of explosion. But none came as the ceremony continued, and I began to feel myself relax more. Flack reached out, taking my hand softly in his. I felt reassured by his gesture.

"This ring is a symbol of my love for you. You'll never be alone because I will be beside you every step of the way," Flack murmured as he slipped the silver Celtic ring on my finger.

I blinked back tears of joy as I stared into Flack's eyes. He was promising me the world and a life time with him. I couldn't ask for more off someone I knew was my soul mate.

"You may kiss the bride." Flack reached forward, as I did, falling into each other. Our lips met, his hands ran through my hair as passion ignited between us. I was caressing his face. We broke apart breathless, still starring into each other's eyes.

"Ladies and Gentleman I present you Mr and Mrs Flack." Flack's arm swung around my waist as we turned to face our friends and family. There was loud clapping as Danny shouted.

"It's about time!" An uproar of laughter went through the room as Mac rose to his feet, and began to usher people from the room towards the main reception area.

Flack took this opportunity to scoop me up in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed his lips over and over again. We were both laughing as we pulled away slightly, touching noses.

I almost couldn't believe that the ceremony had gone so well. As Flack dropped me into a standing position I felt a huge burden leave my shoulders. Flack cupped under my chin and stared into my eyes, pushing the hair back away from my face, his fingers caressing my cheek.

"You look really beautiful," he told me with a tiny smile as the last few people began to exit the room.

"You don't scrub up too badly yourself Mr Flack," I teased leaning in close, brushing against him a wicked glint in my eye. Flack rested his hands on my hips, his eyes taking me in my attire. I could see a hungry glimpse in those eyes as he raised his eyebrows suggestively. I looked around the room seeing that we were now alone.

"Hey, you have to wait for the wedding night…"Flack leaned forward, looping his arms around my waist and drawing me closer.

"Hmm," he murmured kissing my neck softly, making me moan. I clutched his dress uniform pushing against him as he kissed my neck more feverishly, his hands were moving across my breasts.

"Don…" I whispered into his ear as his lips moved back to mine.

"Ahem…" the discreet cough made us break apart suddenly. Flack's hands were still on my waist as we both looked up blushing.

Horatio Caine was standing in the doorway, a placid smile on his face as he raised his eyes to us once more.

"Sorry to interrupt the bride and groom, but your guests are waiting to make a few speeches." Flack dipped down kissing my cheek. I pulled away grabbing his hand and leading him towards the doorway.

Flack's hand settled on my ass.

"You'll spoil the wedding night if you keep doing that," I mumbled at him under my breath, just loud enough for Flack to hear.

"Well then I can't wait for the wedding night, Mrs Flack."

_Still pushing __**Gotham's Heroes**__ guys. Seriously the story rocks!_

_Axellia: It was a joy to come down to so many reviews this morning. I had no idea I'd posted so many chapters! Your reviews always make me laugh. Fingers crossed for Sunday! I'm glad you like the raid! Lol We nearly had a death on our hands!_

_Demolished-soul: lol I had no idea where the squad car thing came from. Another idea I had was Flack and Danny actually helping out at a crime scene, but I thought that would be too much hence I put him on call instead. I can't wait for the reception myself. I've written a few chapters ahead and it gets a little darker._

_Soccer-bitch: The story is a lot of fun to write, but I have to keep researching things I don't know too much about, for example, weddings. The thing is the characters pretty much run off and do their own thing, I just write down their story. _

_Stargazr: lol the reception was quite fun to write. It was some nice light heartedness to write after the raid. I am so surprised they actually got married, I always thought that Carmen and Flack would always just stay being partners, but suddenly there was this insistent tugging saying that she wanted to get married, so I ran with it._

_Nikkilou: lol I'm glad you think, Danny seems to think so but Cory's still a little unsure, but we will see._

_Maddy Bellows: lol Explain this wedding thing to me? It was awesome to write, I was really surprised about what came out. I wasn't expecting it, but I thought we needed a little humour since the raid._


	140. Chapter 140: A Welcome Reception

Chapter One Hundred and Forty

_This years love had better last  
Heaven knows it's high time  
And I've been waiting on my own too long  
But when you hold me like you do  
It feels so right_

_David Grey – This Year's Love_

The moment we swept into the reception room I was overwhelmed by the flashes of red, gold and white that coated the room. The balloons, the table cloths, the flowers, everything matched. I was stunned by the amount of work that had obviously gone into planning the reception.

"Did you do this?" I whispered, leaning into Flack, my eyes trying to take in everything at once. I couldn't believe it, it was like a dream. Flack's arm settled around my waist as he gave me a wide smile.

"You like it?" he murmured into my ear, stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around me, his head on my shoulder.

"Of course, wow I can't believe you did all this," I told him turning around in his arms and kissing his lips gently.

"Well, Stella helped," he admitted, before kissing the edge of my mouth. I relaxed into him.

"I think its dinner time," I whispered pulling him into a tight hug. Flack's hands caressed my back, soothing over the dress.

"Hey, you two love birds come sit down!" Stella called across the hall patting the empty seat next to her.

I took Flack's hand and led him towards the long white table at the forefront of the hall. I dropped into the seat next to Stella as Don settled next to his dad, who instantly started slapping his son on the back.

"How's married life?" Cory asked across Stella from the other side.

"All two minutes of it's going pretty well so far, no explosions, no throwing the rings back. And Don can't keep his hands off me so far, which is driving me crazy," I admitted. Stella raised her eyebrows.

"Just wait for tonight…" she beamed. Our heads turned as the array of waiters entered with various different palates of food.

Plates were set down in front of each of the guests. Jovial laughter filled the air as conversations ensued throughout the guests. In front of us, across the dance floor and upon the stage, a band was setting up.

Flack stood up as a song I recognized struck up. I gazed at him as he offered me his hand.

"Good choice," I said softly as I let him pull me to my feet and guide me to the dance floor.

_This years love had better last  
Heaven knows it's high time  
And I've been waiting on my own too long  
But when you hold me like you do  
It feels so right  
_

He swung me into his arms, wrapping them around me tightly. I rested my hand on his shoulder and looked up into his face.

"You've had lessons," I mused. Flack simply smiled. His eyes traced my features.

_Before I open up my arms and fall  
Losing all control  
Every dream inside my soul_

His cheek was pressed against mine as we swayed softly to the music.

"I love you, ya know," he whispered, his breath tickled my ear. I closed my eyes feeling completely at peace with him.

"I love you, too," I said hushed. Flack looked down at me. I was captured by his beautiful eyes.

_And when you kiss me  
On that midnight street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singing ain't this life so sweet_

_---------------------------_

"They look so perfect together" Cory sighed sitting next to Danny. She was leaning on her hand and watching the couple sway. They were oblivious to anything but each other as they danced. You could see they were truly happy.

"It took a long time for Flack to tame that woman." Danny laughed. Cory slapped his arm playfully. Danny stopped and looked at her properly for the first time all night.

"You really do look stunning tonight, Agent Reid," he told her with a tiny smile. Cory blushed, as Danny bowed his head. There was an awkward silence between the two of them for a minute.

"Look I'm sorry for the other night, when I was drunk, I didn't mean to you know lunge directly at you." Cory held up her hand.

"Don't worry I get it. Seriously. I was just…I'd rather be something more to you than a rebound. You know Lindsey hasn't been gone that long and well my feelings are genuine." Cory admitted, her features flushing again.

Danny reached out taking her hand under the table.

"I know," he said quietly, his eyes on her face.

"It's just when you were here last time, I wanted so much more from you, and then you went away, I always felt like there was a piece of me missing. Suddenly Lindsey comes along…" Danny tilted his head away for a second.

"She reminded me a lot of you, I didn't realize until she was gone just how much." Danny swallowed hard before continuing.

"I missed you fiercely, ya know? The first few weeks you were gone were so empty, I felt like my heart and been taken away and there was this hole right in my chest. When you came back it was like it was fixed again. Like everything was ok again…"

He paused trying to judge Cory's reaction but her face remained passive.

"Now Lindsey's left, I'm kind of glad…" His eyes widened as he realized what that sounded like.

"I mean I don't expect you to suddenly rush into anything with me, but I'd like to maybe…do something…at some point." Danny suddenly went bashful.

"Ya know if you want to?" Danny rubbed the back of his head. Cory found herself smiling despite the words that were coming out of Danny's mouth.

"I have to say Messer, that's a lot to take in," she began unsure what she was saying or what she was actually feeling. So many feelings were rushing around inside her, she felt confused, yet everything with Danny felt so right.

"I need time." The words flowed out of her mouth before she could stop them. She patted his hand gently.

"I just…I need time." Cory murmured before feeling overwhelmed. Before she knew it she was on her feet and moving towards the bar.

---------------------------

Taylor was perched on a stool, sipping champagne from a glass as Matt laughed at the story she was telling.

Her eyes appraised his broad body clad in a dark suit, his thick black hair parted in the middle. She found herself fixed on his smile.

"Anyway Mr Sullivan, I should thank you for dinner the other night," Taylor said. Her eyes on Matt over her glass of champagne.

"I'm glad to have somebody to cook for to be honest; it's been a while since I've had any female company in my place." Matt blushed as the words slipped out of his mouth.

"You'll have to invite me over more often," Taylor said, her hand touching his arm lightly. Matt looked up at her, finding himself leaning closer. Taylor tilted her head up as Matt moved forward, his hand cupping her cheek.

Taylor's eyes were on his lips as Matt leaned in for a kiss.

"Sorry guys, but I need a drink!" Cory burst between them, startling Taylor so much, the glass of champagne she was holding tipped all over the front of her dress.

"Christ. I'm sorry Taylor," Cory said necking the flute of champagne the bartender pushed towards her.

Taylor was drabbing frantically at the stain on her sky blue dress with a napkin. Matt handed her another set of napkins around Cory.

"Are you ok?" Taylor asked Cory as she grabbed for the nearest glass. Cory turned to face Taylor shaking her head.

"I'm not sure yet."

-------------------------

Mac, in his own right was a good dancer; he twirled me around the dance floor like a pro, before drawing me back in.

"I'm so proud of you, Carmen," Mac said spinning me.

"It's a good thing to hear," I told him gratefully as he pulled me closer.

"I'm serious; you've come far from the timid little CSI who arrived in my lab three and a half years ago," he told me.

"It seems like I've been watching one of my own children growing up and blossom." I felt a glow in my cheeks.

"I feel like you're my actual Dad, every time something's happened you've been there for me. I'm serious. Thank you," I told him honestly as the song ended.

"I am honoured you feel like that," he told me, leading me off the dance floor and back to our seats.

"I think Danny's about to make a speech."

-------------------------

We were all seated by the time Danny stood up with his champagne glass, and declared a speech.

"I'd like to declare a toast to the bride and groom. Firstly, I have known Carmen for years, before I even met Flack, and I have to say she's the strongest woman I've ever met. I mean the crap this woman has survived, folks you wouldn't believe. And then she met Flack. Now those who know Flack know he has this rule to never date co-workers, but somehow Carmen managed to get under his skin. The minute these two met they were bound to be sparks, and they have both had a fiery relationship. But even after everything they've been through we're all sitting here today. I for one am proud to be celebrating the marriage of my two closest friends." Danny rose his glass.

"To the bride and groom. Let's make it a long one guys." I grinned as Danny sipped from his glass and settled back down into his seat. The room echoed with applause.

----------------------

Flack's hand was on the small of my back, both our hands on the knife as we cut into the cake. A cheer went up as Flack picked up a piece of cake and held it to my mouth, letting me bite into it.

----------------------

I was standing with my back to the rows of women behind me. My bouquet was clenched in my hands tightly as I held it in front of me.

"Ready?" I asked loudly, not turning to glance over my shoulders.

"Go for it!" Someone yelled back. I threw the bouquet behind me before spinning around to face the gaggle of women all reaching for it. It sailed over their heads and landed softly in the arms of someone at the back of the group.

I laughed as Cory flushed bright red and her mouth became a surprised "O" shape the bouquet cupped in her hands.

---------------------

Flack was kneeling in front of me as I held up the hem of the wedding dress, up to my thigh. The light blue garter was on show to the whole room as Flack held my ankle gently. His teeth enclosed on the garter. I bit my lip as he used his mouth to tenderly tug it down my thigh and over the stocking I was wearing.

There were wolf whistles as Flack pulled away, holding it in his teeth. He grinned, taking it from his mouth and throwing it into the crowd behind him. I saw Danny grab it out the air and burst out laughing at the sight.

------------------------------

"Right people it's time for us to leave you guys and embark on our honeymoon." I turned my head to Flack frowning as he made the announcement to the room.

"Honeymoon? I thought we agreed we couldn't afford a honeymoon," I muttered to him. Flack leaned into me; I could feel his breath on my neck making me shiver.

"Let's just say I know you've never done the whole sight seeing thing and we have the honeymoon suite booked for a week. All expenses paid," he murmured.

"But how…" I asked in wonderment as Flack led me to the lift and pressed the button for our floor.

Flack took a step towards me, a wolfish grin on his face. His hands on my hips, his face leaning close to mine. I melted into him.

"The whole station house chipped in for it. They thought we deserved a little time off, having a little fun." He was whispering now. I felt heat rush through me. Flack pulled away, making me pant as the doors opened.

Flack led me to the hotel room, opening the door with the swipe card. He scooped me up into his arms and stepped over the threshold. His lips were on mine as we reached the bed. He put me down gently. His hands were running over my breasts and down the dress.

Passion sparked between us as I pushed against him, my hands in his hair as his hands slide around the back unzipping the dress slowly. His lips were on my neck, making my knees weak. My hands were on the shirt of the dress uniform, undoing each button quickly.

My body was aching for him as he moaned into my neck. I pushed the shirt from his shoulders, my hands running all over his chest, and lingering at the scar from the bombing. I took a step back, pushing Flack onto the bed.

I stood in front of him as he watched me slowly peel the white dress off my shoulders. It dropped to the floor with a soft rustle as I stepped out of it. Flack's intake of breath was to my satisfaction as I ran my hands over the soft white lace lingerie.

"You like?" I asked stepping closer to him and kneeled on the bed on either side of his legs. Flack's hands ran over my thighs, making me groan as he brought his lips to my naked chest.

"I definitely like," he uttered, his hand running up my back and cupping my neck, giving me the most blissful wedding night I could have imagined.

_**Gotham's Heroes! Read It!**_

_Bluehaven4220: Nice to see you again! Thanks for the reviews. lol You don't actually get to see what happens on the honeymoon, you get to see what happens 6 weeks after the honey moon! Of course Flack is horny on his own wedding day!_

_Nikkilou: lol fingers crossed it can only get better. I'm glad you loving this story, I worked my ass off on it. We have some interesting storylines coming up._

_Maddy Bellows: lol you should see the next cameo! You want me to send you the chapter with her in to look over? You will be getting some spoilers. Thank you for your reviews, they are always worth reading!_

_Tutorgirlml: It's fantastic to see you back again. Thank you for the remarks on my chapters! I am so glad they managed to pull it off in the end but I think they'll really deserve it, just keep an eye out on the future chapters. Lol The Celtic ring was just something occurred to me as I was reading it over. I wanted to bring Matt ad Tay together a little bit and thought it would be sweet to see Tay around someone like Matt._

_Soccer-bitch: Lol you will not believe how much time I have spent researching stuff for future chapters._

_Demolished-soul: I think everyone's breathing a sigh of relief that their wedding went so well. It's not too bad I think, you'll just have to see what happens._


	141. Chapter 141: At 6 Weeks

**Part Nine**

Chapter One Hundred and Forty One 

_Suppose I never ever met you_

_Suppose we never fell in love_

_Suppose I never ever let you kiss me _

_So sweet and so soft._

_Regina Spektor – Breaks My Heart_

Six Weeks Later.

"You do know that's the sixth pancake you've eaten this morning," Flack said from across the table. He looked tired as he sipped from his coffee, and picked at his own food.

"Just extra hungry today," I shrugged. "Maybe it's all that extra exercises you've been making me do."

He shook his head with a grin on his face, eating the pancake off his fork.

"That is a two people sport and you know it," he teased, as I sipped my own coffee.

This had been our early morning routine since we got off our honeymoon. The only thing different this morning was the fact I was fully dressed, in black trousers and a white blouse I may add, and Don was still clad in a black t-shirt and PJ bottoms with bed hair. Not that he didn't look good with bed hair. In fact, he looked mighty damn fine with bed hair.

I checked my watch before rising to me feet.

"I gotta go; being back on earlies at the lab is gonna be the death of me," I warned him. Flack chuckled.

"You love being back in the field," he said rolling his eyes. It had been two days since Doctor Preston had cleared me back to work full time. Today was going to be my first day back actually outside of the Lab. Secretly, I was cheering on the inside.

I grabbed my bag before reaching over and kissing him quickly on the lips.

"I'll catch you later," I said, speeding towards the door. He gave me a brief wave before I shut the door to the apartment behind me.

--------------------------------

I took a deep breath of fresh air as Danny and I climbed out of the car, my kit in hand as we stepped into the fresh greenery of Central Park.

"I cannot believe you made me pull over twice on the way here," Danny snorted as he slammed the car door behind him. I shrugged before treading towards the lines of yellow Crime Scene tape around the trees.

"I drank a lot of coffee this morning," I told him scowling.

"Are we talking a barrel here or what?" Danny retorted.

"Someone's extra moody this morning," I snapped back.

"I just don't like pulling over…" he returned. I interrupted him again.

"Uh oh," I muttered.

"Uh Oh? What do you mean uh oh?" Danny saw the expression on my face as I held my kit out to him.

"Come on Carmen, you are kidding me! You just went!" he snarled.

"Would I be asking you to hold my kit if I was joking?!" I growled. Danny rolled his eyes before taking it.

"Make it quick." I was already running back to the main road where I'd spotted a handy diner.

--------------------------

I was covered in bits of leaf and greenery from the crime scene as Danny and I walked down the corridor. We didn't even look at each other as Stella appeared in front of us instantly sensing the mood.

"Well you two look…mad," she began, shutting the file and looking curiously from one of us to the other.

"I ended up getting the crime scene with little Miss Pissy Pants here," Danny told her jerking his thumb at me. I turned my head towards him, feeling a headache coming on.

"It's not my fault! I drank too much coffee!"

"We had to stop three more times on the way back! And she ate my entire stash of candy bars!" He crossed his arms over his chest, as Stella frowned at the two of us. She looked like she was ticking something over in her head.

"Somebody's just in a mood because they haven't worked up the nerve to ask out Cory yet," I faced him, hand on my hips furious. Danny's face contorted into rage as he faced me head on opening his mouth to speak.

"Knock it off!" Stella yelled, darting in between us.

"What is wrong with you two? You're supposed to be adults! Danny, go start analysing your evidence and Carmen you're coming with me," she said grabbing my wrist and yanking me in the direction of the break room.

-------------------------------------

I was sitting down at the table as Stella put down a mug of tea in front of me as I helped myself to the pile of donuts in front of me. Someone had left a fresh array of sour cream dips on the square table.

Stella settled down in front of me and sipped form her coffee mug before raising an eye brow.

"Is there anything, you want to tell me?" she asked, watching me bite into a donut. I shook my head, taking another bite.

Stella took another sip of her coffee before shaking her head, and pointing at the donut in my hand.

"Then how do you explain the fact your dipping your donuts in sour cream and chive dip." I stared at her surprised and confused.

"I'm not…" I looked down at the pink sprinkled donut in my hand, which was in fact covered in sour cream. I stared at it in horror.

"I didn't even realize," I murmured, raising my eyes to Stella.

"When was your last period?" she said abruptly.

"You think I'm…" I couldn't get the word out.

"Mood swings, constant eating; needing the bathroom more often, weird cravings…I'd say you're pregnant." Stella said matter of factly.

I shook my head, shaking my head thoughtfully. I was going over my schedule in my head over the last few weeks.

"Crap…" I said sinking my head into my arms and closing my eyes.

"My last period was two months ago." I told her. "Before the raid."

"You had any morning sickness?" I shook my head.

"I just got back in the field," I whined, raising my head on to my hands.

"What are you going to do?" I ran my hands through my hair as she spoke. I knew she was concerned.

"I'm going to go home, take a test and if it's positive. I'm going to get checked out at the doctor's," I confirmed, still stunned. It made a lot of sense considering what I'd been feeling recently.

"Wow, I never expected this," I told Stella, who was studying me. She put her hand on mine gently.

"I'm sure it'll all work out. You and Don will make great parents. It's just scary right now," Stella said on a low reassuring tone. I couldn't describe how I was feeling.

Where we ready for this?

"Can…can I call you when I find out?" I asked her, taking a deep breath. Stella patted my hand gently.

"Of course," she said softly.

"Can you not tell anyone until…" Stella was already nodding.

"Thanks…" I stood up unsteady. Stella stood up, putting her arm round me and pulling me close.

"Why don't you go home and do a test, and tell me what it says? Then we can organise what you're going to do." I nodded, as she drew me into a hug.

"Thank you," I said grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair and rushing from the building.

_**Ok guys come on read Gotham's Heroes!**_

_Sunny3886: lol I wanted something fun for them to do after all the chaos hence the little bits of funny. We'll have to see what happens on the Danny and Cory front. And Matt and Tay are really cute together, lol I love the character of Matt, he's so sweet. I've never written a divorced char before Carmen and Matt was an interesting turn out._

_Daytimedrama: It's nice to see you reviewing. Lol I think everyone's going to miss Lindsey, it's just the way the storyline panned out. Apologies on that front, a lot of people miss her but in all fairness relationships run from good to bad all the time, that's exactly what happened to Lindsey and Danny._

_Sanghian: lol and the members of the NYPD are not? I wanted to give them what they deserved, something lovely for them both. I have to agree with you it's about time they got married, although at one point I couldn't see it happening at all._

_Bluehaven4220: I can't wait for your new Flack story! Lol considering they're not even in a relationship yet, it's gonna be a long time before they even consider getting married._

_Soccer-bitch: lol you'll get what I mean when you read this chapter._

_Sparkycsi: lol you never ever told me that! An act of fate! Fingers crossed, that I can keep up writing Cory as a decent char. Thanks for betaing all these._

_Nikkilou: Glad you liked the way things are going between those two. I'm pretty happy it went ok myself._

_Demolished-soul: lol I have no idea but if you read this chapter you know it's not yet. We'll have to see what happens. Glad you like the reception._

_Tutorgirlml: lol I didn't even realize that the story had been going over a year until I randomly saw the date. It's become my baby. The characters pretty much write themselves which is good, otherwise how else would I tell their stories. I was saying before I've never ever written a divorced character before Carmen and Matt. It's a little like life, things are up and down all the time and I tried to get that across. Lol I remembered how hot Flack was when I was writing it._

_**Read Gotham's Heroes, you'll love it!**_


	142. Chapter 142: Little Blue Line

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Two

_Baby you're the words and chapters  
The sweetness in the morning after  
You are the cry that turns to laughter  
You're the hope that ends disaster_

_Snow Patrol – Warmer Climate_

I was sitting on the closed toilet seat holding the pregnancy test out in front of me, waiting. I looked at the watch on my wrist only two minutes had gone by. I held my breath and looked around the bathroom, before gazing down at the pregnancy test in my hand.

Blue…

I picked up the box and read the instructions.

Blue… I was pregnant.

The test slipped from my hands. I took a deep breath covering my face with my hands. Wow…This was actually happening.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. I had no idea what we were going to do. This was so unplanned. We'd just got married. I'd just gone back to work full time.

The same question kept spinning around my head.

Where we ready?

Taking another deep breath, I steadied my nerves and picked up the pregnancy test before opening the bathroom door. Flack looked up clad only in his pj bottoms as he came out of the bedroom.

"Didn't you already leave for work?" Flack asked me, with a humorous glint in his eye.

I leaned in the door way. I knew my expression was serious, as Flack became more concerned.

"Are you ok?" he asked stepping forward; he was beginning to frown now.

"We need to talk," I told him stepping out of the doorway and holding up the pregnancy test before Flack's eyes.

"I'm pregnant." He studied me for a second before taking a step forward and resting his hands on my hips.

"You're sure?" he asked.

"It would explain several things…" Flack nodded. I could tell his was as stunned as I was.

"Well, I didn't expect it this soon…" he said running a hand through his moist hair.

"But it's good news right, I mean you want to keep it?" he asked, looking directly into my eyes. I dropped down on to the couch and let out a deep breath. Flack sat down next to me as I turned towards him.

"I'm just really scared we're not ready for this," I confessed. Flack rested his hand on my knee.

"But I think we are. I mean the only other option is…" His words trailed off. I knew he was reluctant to say the word.

"We've already lost one child…" I said softly. Flack's arm went around my shoulders as I starred at the pregnancy test in my hands.

"It's just really scary; this is something that is going to change our lives forever. I just…I just want to make sure we can handle it," I told Flack honestly. Flack nodded, putting his hand on my stomach, he stroked it gently.

"Carmen, inside you there's a beautiful little life that we created. I know it's going to be scary, hell I'm scared already." I couldn't help but smile at his words. He took my hand in his.

"But it's something that we're going to face together. Even then we won't be on our own; we have our family there too. It's going to be scary but you're never going to be alone in facing it. I'll be here with you all the way."

I drew my feet onto the couch, feeling reassured by Flack's words and presence. I slipped under his arm and cuddled up to his chest, taking a soothing breath.

"Thank you." I told him, snuggling up onto him. He kissed the top of my head gently.

"So what's the next port of call?" Flack asked, leaning his cheek on my hair.

"Well, I am going to make a doctor's appointment and then we'll go from there," I told him, his hand was resting on my stomach again.

"I hope you know what your getting yourself into Mr. Flack…I have a feeling that everything with this baby is going to be one wild ride."

----------------------------

The doctor was sitting at his huge desk as we sat there holding hands in separate chair. Doctor Preston was flicking through my case papers.

"The examination I've just given you confirms that you're pregnant. Your six weeks along, still within in the termination date if that's what you wish to do…" I interrupted, shaking my head.

"We don't wish to terminate our child." I glanced at Don. "We want to keep it."

Preston nodded at this.

"As you know this pregnancy is going to be what we call a high risk pregnancy. Basically, for now on we'll put you on a various amount of vitamins. From your previous doctor's notes I can see you've suffered a miscarriage in the last two years."

"My womb was damaged in an attack over three years ago. I was told I couldn't have children…Suddenly I miscarried. I didn't even know I was pregnant," I explained.

Doctor Preston watched me over the case file, before setting it down in front of him,

"Your womb is quite fertile, but it is quite an unstable environment. We will need to keep a close eye on your pregnancy, so consistent check ups are a must have, I'm afraid." I nodded my response.

"As for bed rest, I know you're an extremely active person but you're going to have to take a break from any strenuous activity at all. I mean anything from lifting heavy boxes to stress. You can't afford to suffer too much stress. All these are measures to keep you from having to be on bed rest. If I think your baby is suffering your going straight onto bed rest. Understand?"

I sighed and nodded. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. It was either lab work or immanent bed rest, and we all knew I hated both.

"Keep eating a steady healthy diet and your pregnancy should hopefully go as smoothly as we could hope. Another thing we have to consider is the birth. Most women would like to have a natural birth but in your case I'm afraid that is highly unlikely, it would be less risky for you to have a C-section."

"We were thinking that would probably be for the best." Flack confirmed with a nod as the doctor stood up.

"Right. Your next check up is set for a month's time, if there are any problems before then, I mean anything, I want you to give me a call straight away," he said handing me a card as I climbed to my feet.

"I think its best you start on a course of folic acid," he said shaking hands with both of us.

"Congratulations!" he called as Flack held the door open for me.

"Thank you."

_**Read Gotham's Heroes Please!!!!!!!!!!**_

_Soccer-Bitch: lol I'm glad you like it so much!_

_Bluehavan4220: Well I guess from this chapter you know that she is. So surprise! Lol I've written a few chapters ahead so don't worry, you'll be getting a constant stream of chapters._

_Sparkycsi: You caught up! I'm proud that you think that I write Cory well!_

_Maddy Bellows: Hey glad you cleared that chapter, thanks for your input. Lol I was trying to think of something else that would tip Stella off to her being knocked up._

_Demolished-soul: lol I did a lot of research and to be honest I thought it was a great storyline for them. Thanks for the trust. We'll see how I do._

_Sunny3886: lol they're getting a little baby, quite a surprising story line! I didn't expect to be going down this storyline. Hm I love naked Flack!_


	143. Chapter 143: Concerns

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Three

_I don't tend to worry about the things that other people say_

_And I'm learning that I wouldn't want it any other way_

_Barenaked Ladies – Life In a Nutshell_

I splashed my face with water still feeling the overwhelming urges of morning sickness tugging at me. I dabbed my face softly with a towel. Don was standing in the living room as I exited the bathroom, his expression concerned. I held up a hand as he went to speak.

"Trust me. There is nothing you can do." I said, taking a deep breath and settling myself on the couch.

"Want me to call you in sick?" he asked calmly, pouring me a glass of water and handing it to me. I shook my head.

"I think it's time to tell them. We're at the two month stage and my pants are starting to get tight." I groaned. Flack bit back a chuckle.

"You wanna try the ginger tea Stella bought you?" Flack asked, flicking the kettle on.

"That's part of the advantage of having Stella be the only person who knows, she cuts me slack…" I remarked darkly.

"Danny still calling you Little Miss Pissy Pants?" I narrowed my eyes.

"I hear that pregnant woman get away with murder." Flack started laughing out loud as I spoke.

"At least he won't be such an ass when he knows there's a genuine reason you've been running off to the bathroom." Flack said, slipping next to me on the couch ad handing me my mug of ginger tea. I rose it to me lips and took a sip cringing.

"It tastes like crap…but if it helps with the morning sickness…" I trailed off taking another sip. Flack kissed me on the head.

"I have been thinking about things." He told me turning to face me on the couch; I did the same thing, my eyes on his lips.

"Am I going to like your thoughts?" I asked curiously.

"I was thinking how about we turn the study into a nursery?" I blinked at him momentarily.

"Let me explain. We hardly use it really, and it's literally full of junk we have no place for. I'll grab Danny one weekend and we can gut it and then I can help you pick out designs for it. In fact, I even have some here." I was staring at him as he pointed at the brochures on the table that I hadn't noticed were there before.

"Ok…" I said taking a deep breath.

"I think it's a little too early to be thinking about the nursery designs right now." I said bluntly. Flack's face fell. I let out a sigh and patted him on the arm.

"I'm just a little bit freaked out at this pregnancy thing at the minute. Two weeks ago I didn't even know I was pregnant and now my body's changing and it's alarming me a little." Don pursed his lips and gave me a grim nod.

"I think it's a great thing that you're enthusiastic about this baby, but at the moment I'm trying to get used to how much more my body's going to be changing in the next few months. And I don't want to jinx anything." I told him looking at my hands.

"I really want this baby and I'm terrified of losing it, I don't think we should build a nursery until after this first trimester because then we kind of know for sure the baby's here to stay." I tried to explain. Flack took my hand and brought it to his lips.

"I understand, I really do." Flack took a deep breathe. His hand was stroking my belly absentminded.

"How about we take it slow?" Flack said cautiously.

"You still have to tell Mac," he warned me. I pursed my lips together.

"You know what the Doctor said," he reminded me. I pouted while Flack continued.

"I won't mention names, nappies or nurseries until after this trimester. That sound good to you?" I threw my arms around his neck.

"Thank you so much." I uttered into his ear, before kissing his cheek.

"You are going to tell Mac?" he asked, pushing the brochures away from him and putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"I'll tell him as soon as I get in this morning, and then we can tell everybody else later on if you get a free minute, then the news will spread like wild fire."

-------------------------

"You're pregnant? I mean you're actually pregnant!" Danny exclaimed for the third time already in the past five minutes. My back was to Danny as I scrubbed my mug in the sink.

"You can say it as many times as you want, I'm still going to be pregnant." I told him, with curt smile. I turned around to face him as he drew me into a warm hug.

"I am so happy for you both. I didn't think you know after…" he gestured at his stomach. I nodded my understanding.

"That would explain…"

"Yep that is exactly why…" I confirmed. Danny leaned next to me looking at my stomach.

"It's just really hard to believe it." I smiled slightly as he spoke.

"Once you get passed the morning sickness, the tender breasts and the fact I'm beginning not to fit into my pants," I recounted shaking my head. I was beginning to have serious doubts about this.

"You'll do fine, you both will. You two will make great parents I know you will," he said as my cell phone began to ring. I checked the caller I.D.

"I take it you've told Cory already?" I asked with a sigh. Danny grinned as he nodded. I pressed the cancel button. Danny looked at me surprised.

"It's not Cory; it's just a little too much to have everybody crowding me right now." I began to explain. Everything was feeling off with this pregnancy. I was feeling worried constantly, cheeking for any signs of problems.

The room spun for a second. I grabbed hold of the work surface trying to level myself.

"Are you ok?" Danny asked concerned. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me steady.

"Just a dizzy spell…" My knees buckled. Danny grabbed me as the floor slipped from under me.

--------------------

"What happened?" Flack burst out, rushing through the doors. I was leaning back on the most comfortable chair in the break room. My feet were propped up on another chair. Sheldon was sitting next to me, checking my pulse as Danny sat on the other side, hovering worrisomely.

"She just had a fainting spell…" Sheldon said standing up to greet Don as he strode concerned towards me. I looked up at him slightly ashamed.

"I think it was brought on by stress." Don's eyes were studying me intensely. His face etched in a frown.

"Can you leave us alone for a moment, guys?" Flack asked crossing his arms over his chest. The other two shared a look before obliging.

Flack kneeled down in front of me.

"So what happened?"

"I just couldn't handle everybody saying congratulations and then Cory was calling…What if we lose this baby? I couldn't stand the thought of them all being disappointed in me." I covered my hands with my face.

"God this is awful, I sound so whiny. This poor baby." I continued.

Flack smoothed my hair softly.

"Maybe you should see somebody." Flack said openly. I raised my eyes to him disbelieving, he cut me off.

"It's just not about the pregnancy. You're still having nightmares about the shooting and I think that's not helping with your current predicament." Flack rubbed his hands against my bare arms.

"I really think you'd benefit from it and the baby. Mac knows this great shrink, very discreet. She's private, but she owes Mac a favour or two. Maybe you should talk with her." I studied his features, seeing the pleading in his face. I leaned forward.

"You really think it would be a good idea?" I asked him honestly. He patted my knee.

"I think it would be." I nodded, squeezing my eyes closed. I felt tears prickling.

"I'm really sorry about all of this," I told him, as the tears leaked form my mind.

Flack wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I held onto him, feeling slightly soothed.

"You'll go talk to Mac?" he asked pulling away. I was beginning to wonder what I'd done to deserve him, as he cupped my face gently.

"I'll talk to Mac."

**READ GOTHAM'S HEROES!**

_Maddy Bellows: lol fingers crossed it goes ok for them, but my muse is quite fickle so you never know what may happen. I definitely think it's going to be wild for them both._

_Soccer-bitch: Sorry that you don't get to find out how they find out. My muse basically ran with this idea of things._

_Bluehaven4220: lol I thought I'd decided on a gender and a name and now I'm not to sure. I may take you up on your offer though. Lol I didn't expect her to be pregnant either._

_Demolished-soul: I am too! Fingers crossed for them both. _

_Sparkycsi: lol I always accidentally give out spoilers, I'm the worst to Cheryl though, when we're all talking about GH I'll make a ref to SD thinking you've both betaed and she'll be like "what now?" Anyway. Glad you caught up and thanks for being a fab beta!_

_Sunny3886: lol Danny's always driving Carmen up the wall as you will see in later chapters but anyway I'm hoping it goes smoothly as well, they deserve a nice happy ending._


	144. Chapter 144: Therapy

**AN:**** We have another guest cameo, this time from Madison Bellow's char Gus Broussard!**

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Four

_A marathon of heartbreaking moments _

_I live with it every day_

_For every step I have to pay_

_Barenaked Ladies – I Live With It Every Day_

I rapped on the door in front of me patiently, before pushing it open. In front of me a young woman about my age, with blond hair, raised her green eyes to meet mine before standing to greet me.

"You must be Carmen Devine." Her accent was deep and southern, though I couldn't place from where specifically.

"That's me," I muttered surprised.

"Gus Broussard." She stuck her hand out; I took it surprised to find her grasp as firm as it was. We separated, she gestured to a comfortable chair which I sank into.

"I'm surprised I got an appointment with you today…" I trailed off, looking down at the plush carpet.

"Mac said it was urgent." She shrugged. I let out a deep breath.

"That must be some favour you owe him," I remarked.

"We're here to talk about you not me," Gus retorted, I found myself liking her, she could hold her own.

"So what do you want to know…?" I asked feeling slightly nervous. There were butterflies building in my chest. Gus closed the door and moved to sit down in front of me in the other plush chair.

"It's more about what you want to tell me…You're a female cop right?" My mouth formed an O expression.

"You can tell from your mannerisms, the way your acting, and I can only guess why Mac requested this appointment so urgently, which means you're on his team," she told me. I stared at her stunned.

"Wow. You're really perceptive," I remarked, still shocked for Gus's run down. I'd only been in the room two minutes. Gus turned it around back to me in an instant.

"So how can I help you?" I took a deep breath before exhaling.

"Where do I start?" I asked shakily. Gus gave me a wry smile.

"Why don't you tell me about yourself from right now and then we'll see what happens." I nodded as my chest constricted.

"Well, I got married two months ago to a Detective in the NYPD, I'm currently two months pregnant with his child… and that's why I'm here I guess. Two weeks before the wedding I was shot in the chest, I nearly didn't make it through, I got off lab duty for two weeks before discovering I was pregnant, and now no one will let me within a two foot radius of a crime scene."

"I bet that's a pain in the ass, huh?" Gus drawled.

"You have no idea, before that my wedding was blown up by the Irish Mob and I miscarried a child I wasn't even supposed to be having." I felt Gus's gaze on me intensify.

"And I thought I had issues," Gus said softly. I found myself smiling despite myself.

"Thing's are a little crazy." I admitted.

"So go back to the miscarriage, losing a baby is a big thing. How do you feel about the baby your carrying now?" she asked quietly. I ran a hand through my hair.

"Very scared." I wrapped my arms around myself speaking softly.

"I'm terrified of losing this child too, Don wants this child so much and so do I. I know he wants to shout from the rooftops but I can't stand it. I can't stand every body standing there and congratulating me because the truth is what if I lose this baby? What if it's exactly the same as last time and I just disappoint everyone?" Tears were burning in my eyes now.

Gus pushed a set of tissues at me with a sympathetic expression. I took one and dabbed my face with it.

"This is common in a lot of women who have suffered miscarriages. They think it was they're fault that they're baby couldn't survive. Carmen that's not true." Gus was tone was firm and it made me look up and meet her eyes.

"You are not responsible for the losing that child. For starters, you said you didn't know that you were pregnant, you had no pre-warning, therefore it is not your responsibility. The baby you're carrying now is your main concern, and caring for yourself and that child." Gus paused before studying my reaction.

"I think the shooting kind of shocked your mind if you understand what I mean." Gus told me honestly. I frowned before opening my mouth.

"I've been nearly killed before and it never had such a shock to my mind. I mean I saw a therapist after the bomb blast because I kept having nightmares, but it was never like this," I told her.

"That's because you have something to lose. The bombing was at the beginning of your career here, you hadn't quite developed the ties you have now. That's why it's hitting you so hard right now." Gus finished. I frowned thinking this over, clutching my tissue.

"I think you're right…" I murmured, putting a hand to my head.

"In fact this makes a lot of sense." I told her, contemplative. Gus checked her watch, I picked up my bag.

"I'm really sorry to have to do this. I'd like to talk more," Gus said giving me a torn smile. I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. Gus was already on her feet.

"It's no problem; I think you've helped me a lot," I said reaching out and touching her arm. She flinched. I drew my hand back quickly as she knocked into her plant propped on a table near the door. It shattered into a mess of soil and ceramic matter.

"I am so sorry…" I gasped. Gus held out a hand to stop me as I moved forward to clean up the mess somehow.

"No problem, I'll clean it," she said as I scooted around her. She looked up at me as I bent down to pick up the ceramic pieces.

"Congratulations but the way."

"Thanks!" And I meant it.

-------------------------

Flack was sitting on the couch with my head in his lap as I spread out across it. He stroked my hair gently; the baby book was perched on my stomach as I flicked through it. He was reading the latest Deaver.

"Don't you think it's weird you read detective fiction?" I asked looking up at him from his lap.

"How would I know how to catch criminals if I didn't read Deaver?" I chuckled as his eyes rested on mine.

"How was the shrink?" he asked, his thumb caressing my hairline.

"She made a lot of sense. Hence the baby book," I said holding it up. "I wanted to see what the baby was up to right now."

Flack looked down at me incredulously before recovery.

"So what is the little dude up to right now?" Flack asked me, moving into a more comfortable position so he could look into the book and read it over my head. I wriggled upwards and rested my head against his shoulder, holding up the book.

"This is what he looks like right now." I said pointing at the picture of the foetus in the book.

"He?" Flack teased.

"Yea." I beamed, putting my hand on my stomach. "I got a feeling."

Flack kissed the top of my head.

"I should be sending Mac and that therapist a basket of muffins. I haven't seen you this happy since the honeymoon." I turned my head back to me book as he spoke.

"Speaking of Mac and the therapist. I think there's something going on there," I informed him, eyes still on the baby book.

"What do you mean?"

"All I can say is that she must owe Mac some favour." Flack rested his cheek on my head, his eyes reading the baby book.

"You think Mac's getting a little something something?" Flack asked me, with a smirk on his face. I snorted.

"She's my age, and don't you think it's kind of creepy, the thought of Mac getting a little on the side." I laughed, resting the baby book on my stomach. I felt Flack's breath brushing my hair.

"I think it's time for bed, you've got to get more sleep now." I nodded my agreement as he took my hand and led me to bed.

_**GOD DAMN IT! READ GOTHAM'S HEROES!**_

_Bluehaven4220: lol I kind of didn't have the bit where they tell anyone, I think scenes like that seem kind of awkward for me to write._

_Maddy Bellows: lol you got your cameo. Thanks for letting me borrow Gus, from what I hear, she may be doing the rounds soon. That therapist may get a little more Cameo if that's okies?_

_Demolished-soul: He is, hell I wish I had a Flack He is good to them especially after all the crap that's happened. Fingers crossed for a sooth delivery._

_Sparkycsi: Oh well that's coming up in 147so you'll have to wait and see. I am awful with IMs and spoilers, poor C!_

_Soccer-Bitch: Always have a nice thing to say!_

_Axeilla: Well I don't always mean to the last little spoiler I was banging my head on the table practically. I think she'll do the best she can!_


	145. Chapter 145: The Deep

**AN:**** A few spoilers for The Deep.**

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Five

_Another day I find myself feeling this way  
Like I want to make it all slow down  
I bought a ticket for this train, now I'm on it  
And I'm full speed ahead, no looking back now_

_Patty Medina – Still Life_

"Hey Mac, come and see the pictures of your new grandchild," Danny called into Mac's office as I stood in the middle of the lab, the tiny sonogram pictures Stella's hands.

"See, the baby has his back to us," I said pointing at the picture. Stella was grinning from ear to ear as Mac strode towards us. He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into a fatherly hug.

"You're looking more and more radiant everyday Ms Devine," Mac responded before kissing my cheek. I slapped his arm playfully.

"You see me everyday in the lab anyway, Mac," I returned as Stella handed Mac the sonogram pictures as Danny folded his arms over his chest.

"You and Flack picked any names out yet?" he asked smiling. That smile hadn't left his face since he'd seen my twelve week pictures.

"Nothing definite yet. You still on for gutting that study this weekend?" I asked sweetly. Danny rolled his eyes humorously.

"And what will you be doing whilst me and Flack are moving all the crap out?" Danny smiled as I stuck out my tongue.

"I'd help but the doctor said no strenuous lifting, hence why you've been hefting all those evidence boxes for the past two weeks," I smirked as Mac handed me back the baby pictures. Danny waved me off as he retreated down the corridor after spotting Hawkes holding up his evidence bag.

"What did the doctor say this time?" Mac asked, folding his arms. I slipped the pictures back into my bag before turning to face him.

"Baby's growing healthy, just taking it easy and keep taking the vitamins. I'm putting on weight though. I'm wearing my baggiest shirt right now," I told him, Mac lowered his eyes to see a slight bump in my forest green shirt.

"Which means we are going to have to take you maternity shopping soon," Stella told me pointedly. I pushed my hair away from my face, my eyes on Stella glinting.

"Does that mean a trip to Georgie?!" I asked almost bouncing up and down. Stella grinned knowingly.

"I'll call him up and see when he's free." Stella said, getting out her cell phone and disappearing into her office, leaving me alone with Mac.

"How are you feeling in general?" he asked quietly, his face concerned.

"I get backaches every so often, still have the freakish cravings. I found myself dipping celery in a Cream Egg the other day, which was… interesting," I told him pulling a face. Mac let out a throaty chuckle before touching my arm gently.

"How are things going with Gus?" he asked, his gaze not meeting mine. I frowned curiously before proceeding.

"She's helped me work through my issues quite a bit. I'm pretty excited about having this baby now and the nightmares are becoming less frequent. So, she's helping me a lot…Can I ask you something?" I paused. Mac fixed me with his gaze as I searched his face.

"Is there something going on between you two? I know it's none of my business," I rambled. Mac pursed his lips together tightly, before looking up and down the corridor.

"She's my niece, from New Orleans. We don't broadcast it, so I'd appreciate if you keep quiet about it." I nodded my understanding.

"How are things with you and Flack?" he broke in, raising an eye brow. I gave him a warm smile.

"We're doing ok. He's very enthusiastic, and he's supportive. He's everything I could ask for," I answered honestly. A fatherly smile crossed Mac's face as he nodded.

"I'm glad to see you're happy," he told me.

"So am I."

-------------------------

I held the thin gold coin between my fingers studying the thin line closely, before slipping it under the microscope.

"It's the same as the other one you found on the diver in the subway, it's a fake," I confirmed with Stella who was tapping her foot thoughtfully.

"How's Hawkes doing?" I asked her concerned. Stella gave me a reassuring grin.

"A cracked rib is his worst injury," she told me honestly. I took a deep breath.

"I'm just glad Danny got him out of there in time, I couldn't imagine life without Doctor Sheldon Hawkes," I said quietly. Stella nodded her agreement.

"So what is a dead diving instructor doing with this in his hand?" Stella thought out loud. I shook my head trying to puzzle it over as the printer spat out the results from the syringe. I studied the results on the paper in front of me and frowned.

"That's weird." I remarked raising my head towards Stella. She raised her eyebrows curiously.

"The DNA on the syringe was mutated. It's specific to the Balkans, there was also a small level of cortisone in with it as well."

"Cortisone is used to treat arthritis and things like that. Did you come across any suspects from the Balkans?" I asked Stella, trying to fix all the little pieces of jigsaw in my head. Stella pointed at me as light bulb went off in her head.

"Two of their clients were foreign students; I think they were from Albania," Stella recalled.

"Is Albania in the Balkans? I'm a little rusty on geography," I admitted.

"Yea it is. Let's go haul those guys in for questioning," Stella said walking towards the door of DNA.

"Hm, Stella. Knocked up remember," I said pointing at my belly with both thumbs. She blinked for a second; I could see herself practically hitting her forehead with her hand.

"It's no problem," I said with a confused smile. I reached out touching her arm.

"Are you ok? You seem kind of distracted," I asked. Stella let out a deep sigh, looking indecisive.

"A guy asked me out," she said simply. I felt myself beaming until I saw the expression on her face.

"That's a good thing isn't it usually?" I said a little unsure. Stella crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. I recognized this defensive posture; it reminded me of when she was with Frankie.

"He took my card off the table of the antiques dealer. He was waiting for me outside about to call me. He wants me to meet him at a diner."

"Don't tell me you're thinking about it?!" I exclaimed hands on my hips. Stella shook her head.

"No way, it's just really creepy; it reminds me of when Reed was following me. It puts me on edge." I gave Stella a knowing look.

"If anything happens you call us right?" I told her pointedly. Stella met my eyes openly.

"Definitely. Thanks." She gave me a rare smile.

"Now I have to go arrest some bad guys. I'll catch you later," she said, giving me a finger wave. I watched her back as she walked away.

------------------------

The radio on my desk crackled as I wrote up the report in front of me. I paused for a second; taking a deep sip of the water I kept on my desk. I almost spat the water onto my computer as I heard Flack yelling into the radio.

"We have a 1033 in progress, suspected explosive device…" I practically jumped up out of my seat, snatching up the radio as Stella darted into the corridor darting towards me.

"An explosive device? What the hell did you find in that apartment?" I all but yelled. I stopped dead, hands on hips, eyes on Stella waiting for an explanation. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. Hadn't we had enough bomb scares?

"Carmen calm down!" Stella said gently, putting her hands on either side of my arms for reassurance.

"They'll give us news as soon as they can. Mac will have it all under control and you know that," Stella told me trying to comfort me. I took a deep breath, the radio static crackling still.

"Let's get you to the break room, take a break and put your feet up." I sighed deeply accepting her words.

"Are there donuts in the break room?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, there are, now come on."

------------------

Stella had made me a cup of tea and I was tucking in happily to the donuts when the radio erupted in a burst of static.

"The bomb is disarmed! Repeat the bomb is disarmed!" Flack's voice, even over the radio was soothing. I let out a small whoop of joy as Stella grinned, before we shared a high five.

It was twenty minutes later when Don swooped into the break room and scooped me up into a ferocious hug.

_**READ GOTHAM'S HEROES!!!!!!!**_

_Axellia: lol I thought it would be fun for Flack to read Detective novels instead of keeping him reading Of War and Peace all the time. It's freezing at the minute here too. I advise you read Maddy's work, it's fab, she makes a really great character. I keep my gloves in the same place lol!_

_Bluehaven4220: lol I'd love to have Maxwell in this, but I'd like to read more of her story first and learn more about her character before I'd feel comfortable writing her in. lol I'm still trying to figure out what they're baby is going to be._

_Sparkycsi: You are a wonderful beta! Lol I was thinking back the other day about all the stuff Carmen has gone through, it's a freakish amount. I really out her through the mill!_

_Soccer-bitch: lol I think I have a few ideas stored up in that head of mine. So you'll just have to wait and see!_

_Demolished-soul: lol you'd have to read Maddy Bellow's work to get a measure of Gus's character. The reason she flinched is because Gus is very interior. If you read NOLA Rising you'll understand why she is the way she is! She doesn't respond well towards people who she doesn't know well or feel comfy with._

_Maddy Bellows: lol I'd love for Carmen to cameo sometime if you wanted too. I'm curious to see how'd you write it. I think Gus will make an appearance every so often in Simply Devine but we'll have to see, I'm still trying to figure out where I'm heading._


	146. Chapter 146: At Five Months

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Six

_It's coming down to nothing more than apathy  
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see  
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears_

Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head

_The Fray – Over My Head_

**At Five Months**

I was sitting across from Danny my office as he rambled incisively. I was scribbling frantically on the report as he spoke. He was becoming so unbelievably frustrating. I could hear the rhythm of his voice piercing my brain as I tried to think of what I was writing next.

"I just don't know when the right time is, and I don't know how to ask her…" I threw down my pen enraged and before I knew it I was yelling.

"For Christ's Sake Danny, I swear to God if you don't ask Cory out right this instant I think I may actually kill you!" I exploded, feeling all the tension rush out of my body. Danny shrank backwards looking absolutely terrified. His jaw dropped open and he stared at me like something from a horror film.

"Here's your phone," I said sliding it across the table towards him.

"Now get into your office and call her," I growled, pointing at the door. Danny was still wide eyed as he slipped the phone into his pocket and backed towards the door.

--------------------

Danny flinched as he saw me striding down the corridor towards him. Hawkes was walking at his pace. They both stopped as I reached them. Hawkes with a smile on his face, Danny was apprehensive. I didn't understand why, but I was going to make his day better.

I thrust the pink box of cookies at Danny, who took it wearily. I leaned over and pinched his cheek.

"You're the coolest friend I've ever had. I don't appreciate you enough Danny Wanny, but from now on I'll make sure we're the bestest best friends ever. Ciao!" I turned on my heel and walked away.

--------------------

"Please tell me that, that was some sort of crazy hormone thing?" Danny begged Hawkes as he watched Carmen's retreating back. Hawkes couldn't shake the stunned feeling inside him.

"Let's hope so…That's one diverse set of mood swings," he said still in shock. Danny tore open the box of cookies and began to munch on one.

"I liked it better when she was threatening to kill me."

------------------------

Flack wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we stepped away out of the theatre still laughing.

I kissed his cheek as he led me towards the hot dog stand on the sidewalk outside.

"You want a hot dog?" he asked, a boyish smile on his face. I couldn't keep the grin off mine despite the fact I was already starting to feel like small house.

I held up two fingers.

"You want two?" Flack chuckled before ordering three hot dogs from the vendor. Flack handed me my two as we began to walk.

"They seem to be giving you more time off," I commented between bites, as we walked down the street.

"I guess the Captain figures that with the baby coming that we have should have more time together. Not that I'm complaining. I love spending time with you," he said nuzzling my neck gently. I giggled whilst taking another bite out of the hot dog.

A sudden twinge in my stomach shocked me.

"Whoa." The hot dogs slipped form my hands and hit the pavement as I pressed my hands to my bulging belly. Flack stopped dead behind me as I gazed downwards.

"What's wrong?" Flack asked concerned his hand going to my stomach as he turned to face me.

My stomach twinged again.

"Whoa!" Flack jumped as it happened pulling back slightly. His eyes met mine.

"Is that the baby kicking?" he asked me, moving forward and resting his hand on my belly again.

"I think so…" I trailed off as the baby kicked again. A grin broke across Flack's face. He placed both his hands on my belly, his smile growing wider.

"Our baby is kicking!" he exclaimed as the baby did it again. He was laughing now. I watched him with a content expression.

"He's sure got a good kick on him," Flack said proudly. My stomach went quiet. We both took our hands away.

"I think that baby's gone to bed for the night." I told Flack. Flack wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips against mine softly before leading me home.


	147. Chapter 147: Misleading

**AN: I am a dumbass and somehow missed out a chapter so this one is 147 and the one you guys havent read is 146, the review replies for this chapter will be on the original 146. SO go peek and at some point I'll put 148 up.**

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Seven

_I don't need to fight to prove I'm right_

_The Who – Baba O'Reilly_

Flack

Flack looked up at the huge apartment building in front of him. Upper class, East side…He'd seen enough to know this was how the other half lived. Saying that, he wasn't doing to shabby himself at the minute.

He took the steps two at a time followed quickly by Stella and Mac.

"So what colour are you doing the nursery? Carmen was saying that you both don't want to know the sex of the baby yet," Stella questioned as they progressed up the next flight.

Flack threw a glance over his shoulder at her.

"We're gonna go with a jungle theme I think. Anyhow, the room's filled with stuffed animals; I brought home an elephant the other day," he recounted still progressing upwards.

They reached the floor for the call out.

"Hey, thanks by the way for taking Carmen to see Georgie tonight, she's kind of had a thing about her weight lately," Flack admitted.

"It's normal for first time mothers to be concerned about weight gain; Carmen's particularly athletic so it's a little worse for her," Mac piped up. (How does Mac know this? He truly knows everything! (lol))

"I wish I just knew how to make her feel better," Flack admitted. Stella placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She'll be fine. When the baby's born, she'll lose a lot of the weight," Stella told Flack with a reassuring smile. Flack returned the smile before rapping his knuckles on the door.

It swung open revealing a stunning red head, who in turn flung her arms around Flack's neck.

"Detective Flack, I was so scared," Flack untangled the socialite that had wrapped herself around him and stepped back, hands on her shoulders.

"Devon, do me a favour and don't do that to me again?" Flack asked her, ignoring the curious looks he was getting from Stella, and the steely stare from Mac.

Devon nodded vigorously, flashing Flack a blinded smile. Flack shot the other two detectives a pained expression.

"We're here to study the crime scene," Devon's eyes fixed on Stella as she opened the door fully allowing them all to pass through.

"It was lucky you were here Detective, otherwise who knows what could have happened." Devon was fluttering her eye lashes in Flack's direction. Stella's mouth opened and closed again as she put her hand on her hip. Mac's jaw clenched.

"Devon is it?" Stella asked with a slight sneer.

"Would you mind stepping out of the room for a minute while we take a look around?" she asked, arms crossing over her chest.

"Anything you need Detectives," Devon replied, slinking past Flack and brushing against him, before she left the room. Mac shut the door behind her.

"Do you want to explain this to us?" Stella asked, pursing her lips. Flack let out a deep breath.

"It's not what you're thinking," he started rationally.

"And how do you know what I'm thinking? Does Carmen know you were here last night?" Stella responded, her eyes blazing. Flack shook his head as Mac looked on from his position in the doorway.

"Flack, you better start explaining," Mac remarked.

"I've been working nights, so I can spend some time in the day with Carmen and the baby. I was roped into undercover work by the chief working a spate of robberies just like this one by some spy types." He paused for a second. Stella's glare didn't change.

"Devon was our way into the party; I was supposed to take a look around do a little digging on some likely suspects. Unfortunately, Devon takes that a little too seriously; I give her the brush off and dropped her off. She leaves her bag in my car and I take it up. She tried hitting on me again and I stopped her and then boom she's being robbed," Flack stated, shaking his head.

Stella's gaze softened.

"I'd never cheat on Carmen, you know that Stell," Flack told her grumpily.

"I'm sorry, Flack I really am, it's just well… she's all over you," Stella explained.

"She knows I'm married," he muttered, watching Mac as he studied the scene. Mac turned his head catching the look on Flack's face.

"Sometime's that's a turn on. A little bit of danger, the fact you're a cop and look good in a tuxedo probably helps too." Flack paled a little before shaking his head at the situation.

"Carmen know your doing undercover?" Mac interrogated rising at eyebrow as he printed the jewellery box.

"Not quite," Flack answered, bowing his head. Mac tilted his head.

"It was my first night on the job last night. I haven't had a chance to mention it; they kind of thrust a tuxedo at me and said go here. Didn't expect a high speed car chase with 007," Flack said rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Just tell her, I don't want any problems with the baby, the next few months are gonna be tough when she hits maternity leave status," Mac reminded Flack. Flack nodded before sighing at gazing out of the window the thief had left through.

---------------------

The sun was shining despite the fact the spring air was freezing outside. The air in the café however was just the right temperature for a five month pregnant lady. I sipped my tea as Cory talked.

"Danny called last night; he's taking me out for dinner tomorrow night," she told me, a smile curved across her pretty features as she spoke.

"You will not believe how long I've been waiting for him to do it…"

"Tell me you said yes," I interrupted. Cory frowned at me before nodding.

"Thank God!" I exclaimed, sinking back into my chair.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Cory asked as I took a bite out of my sandwich.

"No…" Cory raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, I kind of maybe, made him." Cory's expression was one of utter shock.

"He was whining about how he didn't know how to, so I threatened him a little." I shrugged, while Cory stared at me open mouthed.

"I wanna say you shouldn't have but I'm kind of glad you did." Cory told me with a confused smile.

"At least he acted, I was getting way tired of him mooning over you and doing nothing about it. It's about time you guys started dating, me and Stella have been discussing what a great couple you'd make since before my wedding," I confessed. Cory looked even more stunned. Cory shook her head trying to take in this information.

"You and Flack decided whose last name the baby's gonna take. You know since you kept yours and all," I took anther sip of tea.

"We decided he or she is going to be a Flack," I told her scanning the menu for a dessert to eat.

"You told your parents yet?" she asked pointedly, as I kept my head dipped.

"Yea…I told my mom, she'll probably pass it on to Papi. She's coming down a few weeks before the due date to help out a little," I said softly. Cory patted my hand in understanding.

"He may come around, you never know. Grandkids do amazing things to people." I nodded before, raising my eyes to meet hers.

"I thought my wedding would have," I remarked sadly. Cory pulled her hand away before sipping her own coffee.

"You have Flack's parents," she offered, another infectious smile caught her face.

"I bet they took it well." She grinned. I found myself smiling with her.

"Oh they did, I think Don nearly choked because Don Snr kept slapping him on the back so hard." Cory stifled a laugh.

"You heard the latest on Matt and Taylor, I think she's smitten." Cory recounted.

"I'm surprised they hit off so well, Matt's always so organized. Taylor's pretty scatty…" I mentioned.

"Opposites attract." Cory shrugged, taking a glance at her watch and cringing.

"I'm gonna have to get moving in a minute. Sorry," she told me crestfallen.

"It's no problem." I said with a smile as she rose to her feet before leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"Say hi to Flack for me," she whispered before straightening up.

"I will."

-----------------------

"Someone's got a party they're going to tonight," Stella remarked at Flack as she raised her eyes from the lab results in front of her. Flack raised his hands in front of him.

"I haven't even had a chance to tell Carmen yet," he told her tilting his head.

A light bulb suddenly flicked on in Stella's head.

"Invite her!" Flack coughed to cover the laughter that nearly erupted out of him.

"Take Carmen on an undercover thing, you are aware she's five months pregnant and unable to run," Flack pointed out. Stella shook her head.

"I'm taking her to Georgie's later. He can fix her up with a fancy dress and it'll be a little bit of fun for her. She won't have to chase the suspect and if you do you can just rope back after we've caught him and make a night of it," Stella suggested. She could see the cogs turning in Flack's head as she spoke.

"And your sure she'll be alright with this?" he asked uncertainly.

"Ask her and see."

**READ GOTHAM'S HEROES!**

_BlueHaven4220: lol I'd love to at some point but as I said I need to know more about her and such. Thanks for the review. And the baby names I think I have a few I was thinking of running with._

_Sparkycsi: Thanks for betaing so fast. Lol I'd hope all men are as supportive as he is!_

_Soccer-bitch: Do you live in California because I think I've heard about it. No problem I don't mind because hell I don't get to review every chapter I want to sometimes. Life takes over too much._

_Maddy Bellows: lol I would also like donuts, I think that Gus is going to be in a few more random chapters._

_Sanghian: lol the name ideas are in chapter 149, I actually think I have deduced a name and gender now so fingers crossed. _

_Demolished- soul: It's the guy from in the Deep, who keeps sending her stuff. Personally I think he's stalker matieral!_


	148. Chapter 148: You Only Live Once

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Eight

_Don't hand me no lines _

_And keep your hands to yourself._

_The Calling – Keep Your Hands to Yourself._

I was looking down at Georgie as he measured my waist. He was a stout little guy, who wore horn rimed glasses and a stylish hat at all times.

"Pregnancy suits you Carmen; you have a wonderful look about you," he uttered as he wound the tape measure over different parts of my body. I pulled a face at Stella over his head.

"I hear your going to a high society function tonight…Luckily my maternity line has just finished, so I have a few things we can try on you, to make you look the belle of the ball!" Georgie erupted excitedly before wandering off towards a huge rack of multicoloured dresses.

I bowed my head staring at my belly.

"I doubt anything is going to make me feel less than a house." I replied irritated.

Georgie tutted whilst shaking his head.

"But you look marvellous darling." I gave him a polite smile.

"Thanks Georgie," I replied, staring at him as he pulled out a silky golden number and held it up against me.

"I think we can make this work," he said handing the dress to me. I glared at the offending piece of clothing and then took it from his hands.

"I see pregnancy still hasn't changed one's temperament," Georgie said as I disappeared behind a dressing screen and began to shed my clothes.

The silk material draped across my skin, making me almost sigh in relief as it touched me. I straightened it around my stomach before stepping out into the room. Georgie was zipping up the back of Stella's glittery black dress. She twisted, making me gasp as she stepped into my full view.

"You look stunning!" I exclaimed as Georgie's eyes focused on me, a wide grin began forming across his features. I narrowed my eyes at him. Georgie simply giggled.

I sighed disturbed by the fact I used to be scary, now I was just fat.

"You should have been one of my models; that dress was made for you." Georgie remarked.

Georgie circled me, checking the dress from all angles.

"It's a perfect fit everywhere," he exclaimed, returning to Stella's side. Stella's face was already lit up before Georgie took both of my hands and led me to the full length mirror.

I caught sight of my own reflection and nearly gasped. The dress was a thick strapped, halter neck. The gold shimmered around me, giving my skin a healthy glow. The dress itself, fell just pass my knees, and gave the illusion of barely a bump. Instantly I decided I loved Georgie.

Tears pinpricked my eyes as emotions overwhelmed me.

"Thank you," I murmured. "You make me look beautiful!"

Georgie frowned before stepping forward to embrace me. His head only came up to my shoulder, but the gesture warmed my heart.

"You did that all by yourself," he told me, his hand patting my lower back. I sniffed before pulling away and nodding. Georgie's eyes stayed on mine.

"Come on…" he said, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Let's get you into make up and surprise that man of yours."

---------------------------

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" Don whispered, sending chills down my spine. He leaned into my ear and kissed just above it.

His hand linked mine as we passed through into the intimate ballroom. My eyes took in the atmosphere and moved from person to person. I spotted Stella taking "press shots."

"So this is how the other half live," I commented as we moved towards the centre of the room.

"It's pretty dull from what I can figure," Flack commented quietly. I tilted my head towards him with a soft smile.

"You wouldn't want any of this?" I asked half serious. Flack didn't tear his gaze away from me. In fact he looked almost confused by the question, as if he'd never thought about it before.

"Never," he replied, capturing my lips in his. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hand rested on my lower back. Before I knew it we were swaying gently to the classical quartet in the corner.

Don's smile was easy going and I found myself relaxing into him, resting my head on his shoulder. Suddenly Don's head jerked upwards like he'd been stung. I knew his eyes were searching over each member of the crowd.

"Who are we looking for?" I asked quietly, keeping up the illusion of slow dancing. Flack bent his head close to my ear.

"Maude, the assistant, has smart water all over her," Flack murmured as I nodded my response.

"I hate to cut and run," he said softly pulling away from me, almost unwillingly. I gave him a sincere smile.

"I'll hang out near the buffet table, investigate the array they have," I replied as Flack gave me a kiss on the cheek before taking off in the opposite direction.

A red head burst into his up and coming path as he weaved through the crowd towards Maude. From Don's description and the whispers that had been floating around the room all night I concluded that this was Devon.

"Detective, you're looking delicious," she purred licking her lips. Flack's hand reached out and thrust the red head out of his oncoming path as he surged forward towards his main target. Almost in slow motion I felt as if I was watching a train wreck.

The shove itself altered her momentum causing her to crash into one of the servers who happened to be carrying a tray of tomato and pesto treats, which ended up down the front of her dress. I clasped a hand to my mouth attempting to stifle the laughter that was bubbling up inside of me as a look of absolute horror spread across her face.

It was harsh to be rejected in the face of all your high class friends, especially when you'd told them you'd be able to bag the detective, it was even worse when he practically smears food down your hellishly expensive dress.

Still sniggering, I turned and began to indulge myself in the buffet table, piling my plate high.

"Man, I love a woman who eats." I turned my head to meet the doe brown eyes that belonged to the owner of the velvety voice. I fixed the light brown haired man with a polite but pained smile.

"I bet you do," I said pleasantly, then twisted away from the young guy and faced the dance floor, picking off my plate. I felt his presence next to be as the quartet started a new song.

"I like my women with a little bit of meat on them…" I rolled my eyes at his line before flashing my wedding ring.

"I'm five months pregnant and I'm married," I told him, giving him the brush off.

His hand rested on my arm. I stared down at it, resisting the urge to snap it off.

"And your husband let you out of his sight…" he tutted, leaning into me. I raised an eyebrow whilst putting a hand on my hip.

"My husband knows I'm not one of those little socialite brats your so used to playing with," I snarled. He chuckled before sticking out his hand.

"Dresden Marshall," he uttered looking me in the eye. I didn't make a move to touch his hand. I simply glared.

"You have no name? Or is part of the challenge going to be getting that out of you." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Wow, your lines are nearly as original as the glass chandler above us," I returned. Dresden gave me a condescending smile.

"You don't come from money do you?"

"I'm not some snobby little rich kid living off their parents if that's what you mean," I retorted.

"Ahh so you've actually lived life, made your own way. I find that very interesting." His tone dropped to something I'm guessing he viewed as seductive. It felt like nails scratching a chalk board.

I took this opportunity to roll my eyes and step away from him. Dresden was close on my heels. I felt a flutter of panic in my chest as he grabbed my wrist.

"You're not going anywhere until I get a name at least." His tone was jovial, but underneath I could sense something a little more sinister. My hand rested protectively on my stomach. I took a deep breath to calm myself before the well of rage erupted in my chest.

"I swear to God if you don't let go of me I am going to hurt you so badly…"

"Carmen." I raised my eyes to find myself staring into Matt's inquisitive hazel eyes. I wrenched my arm out of Dresden's scowling at him. Matt narrowed his eyes as I stepped towards him, feeling all the fight drain out of me. He studied my face for a brief second as I tried to hide the overwhelming relief.

Dresden was looking Matt up and down now, sizing him up. Matt was staring at the thin socialite in front of him, like he was dirt on his shoe.

"Matt." I tugged on the sleeve of his long sleeved shirt. Matt gave Dresden a cold sneer before looking down at me and nodding, before we progressed towards the exit.

"Are you ok?" Matt asked me quietly as we treaded away; I felt Dresden's eyes still on my back.

"I think so…I just…I think I just freaked out," I admitted frowning. Matt's face was set in a grim mask as we moved.

"I don't think you freaked out at all, the look on your face…You were scared and your hand was on your stomach. You viewed him as a threat." Matt told me, gesturing at the waist coat clad server to get my coat.

"That's because he was persistent, even after I told him I was knocked up. There's something about him…" I paused meeting Matt's gaze as his expression became curious.

"There was something wrong with him; normal people don't act like that." I told Matt honestly. Matt looked thoughtful as he held my coat open for me.

"Why are you here anyway? I thought you had a thing with Taylor tonight" I commented, doing the buttons up. Matt flashed me a grin.

"And miss a chance at catching the 007 car, no way!" he enthused, reminding me of the main reason I'd been left alone here in the first place.

"Did you guys catch it?!" I asked excited. Matt's grin told me what I needed to know already.

"Your boy was right on mark; he used a pop up barricade to get our girl. That's why I came to pick you up; he wanted me to take you to the lab since he's going to be there all night. He said you wouldn't want to miss up a chance to see something like this."

"Oh my God, he was so right!" I said practically jumping up and down with joy. Matt laughed before taking out his keys for our journey to the lab.

**READ GOTHAM'S HEROES!**

_**Another thing is I'm thinking about ending this story soon and starting a sequel set 18 months later. What do you guys think? I'd love your opinions on this.**_

_Maddy Bellows: Here's the new chapter. I am such a dumbass, I missed out a chapter somehow and didn't realize until now. But I think I've fixed it! Anyway Gus features in the next chapter, only briefly for a few minutes but she causes quite a stir for poor Stella._

_Demolished-soul: I know I feel exactly the same way! But I've heard a few good explainations of the subject. Eddie Cahill has an interview on CSI files at the mo. Also I took a peek at __**11 Ways To Tip A Hat **__(an NY Fanfiction) by foxdvd and the author has a really good explanation as to why Flack and Devon ended up together and what Flack feel at the moment._

_Sparkycsi: lol what other story?! And I couldn't help it! My muse shared it with yours, I can't control her actions. That email rocked thanks. I'm glad our muses are pretty much attuned to each other. Lol for a second there I was like …What happens in that other chapter?_

_Bluehaven4220: I was trying to figure away to work it, at first I was just gonna have her not know him and do the whole strangers thing, but I thought that would be expected. I wanted to keep Flack chasing after the 007 car and I thought this was the best way to do it._

_Soccer-bitch: I hope you're safe! Happy Birthday for the Sunday past! I hope you had a wonderful day!_


	149. Chapter 149: Naming With The Girls

Chapter One Hundred and Forty Nine

_If we don't understand  
What this life is made of  
We learn the truth  
When we find that kind of love_

_Alison Krauss – That Kind of Love_

8 Months Gone

"Oh come on of course I knew Mac had no game, he hasn't even pounced on you yet and that is saying something," I remarked at Stella waving my fork around wildly. Stella let out a laugh as Taylor almost snorted the water she was drinking out of her nose at my comment, while Cory shook her head smiling.

We were having a girl's evening at the new Chinese restaurant in the area. Stella had made a reservation, hence here we were eating and laughing and talking about the latest case today. Everyone was drinking non alcoholic beverages to accommodate me. I couldn't help but feel loved by how thoughtful they were.

"I wish I'd been there, I'd of loved to see Adam nerding out," Taylor laughed at the thought.

"It really was something," Stella recounted.

"Hell yeah, it was something. I just wish I'd been able to chase down that assassin with you guys," I exclaimed.

"Are you ever gonna sit back and take it easy?" Cory asked pointedly. "Your eight months gone, about to have baby any minute and you still want to chase down criminals."

I shrugged putting a hand on my massive stomach.

"It must be in my blood."

"Have you guys even got a name yet? I mean poor thing's practically here already," Taylor remarked as Stella tilted her head.

"I can't settle on one I like, but I swear if Don suggests Don Junior Junior one more time, someone has to help me hide the body" I told them shaking my head.

"We thought about Aiden but we thought it was a bit…foreboding," I confessed.

"I am so glad she is not here to hear that," Taylor said referring to Aiden's ghost. A smile broke across my face.

"I probably should of thought about that before I said it. Anyway give me ideas!" I exclaimed at them all.

There was a few minutes silence as we all chewed thoughtfully, before Stella spoke.

"You're not naming it after your brother?"

"Yet again foreboding. And no more Matt's."

"Caitlyn?" Cory said. I tilted my head from side to side.

"Caitlyn's good."

"Ryan?" Taylor put in. I pulled a face at the name.

"Guess not…Are you going for something biblical or modern?" Taylor asked.

"I haven't really thought about it, I like the name Thomas but I'm not too sure yet, I'm not really a traditionalist."

"You don't have to be a traditionalist to name your baby," Stella pointed out.

"True and I am not naming my baby after a place before anyone pipes up with that little gem," I told them looking around the table as Taylor clamped her mouth shut.

"Brody?"

"Christopher?" Stella and Cory spoke at the same time. I shook my head at both.

"I just can't see them going with the name Flack."

"Olivia?" Stella asked. I flashed her a warm smile.

"I think that would suit a little girl of your own," I told her. Stella shook her head laughing before slipping back into thoughtfulness.

"Callie?" I tilted my head side to side before nodding.

"Shaun?"

"Reminds me of Wallace and Gromit."

"Charlie?" Taylor tried.

"Girl or boy?" I asked her frowning, beginning to like the sound of that.

"It's unisex." Stella stated.

"Good point."

"So what do we have?" Cory asked.

"I like Thomas, Caitlyn, Callie and Charlie, more for a little boy than for a little girl." I said back to them.

"At least you have some food for thought now." Stella reminded me.

"I'm just really indecisive about the whole thing. I don't think I'll actually know until I'm looking the baby in the eyes." The table nodded its agreement, as everyone went back to eating.

"So how are things with Matt?" Cory asked Taylor. I turned my head towards her suddenly very interested. Red crept into Taylor's cheeks as all attention became focused on her.

"They're good," she said softly. I raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Give us more to go on than good." Stella murmured, taking another bite out of her meal. Taylor's cheeks went redder as Cory studied her profusely.

"Oh, it's serious." Cory said softly. I felt a small burst of happiness as Taylor nodded.

"Wow." I leaned back in my chair before speaking again.

"How serious? Are we talking, like you guys have moved to the next level serious?"

Taylor swept her dark hair away from her face before giving them a coy smile.

"You really like him." I realised happily.

"He's sexy, smart, and he cooks." Taylor grinned as she spoke.

"Like every man should be!" Stella commented. I nodded my agreement as Cory approached another topic.

"That guy still sending you gifts?" she asked with a sidelong glace at Stella. Stella sipped her coke before responding.

"Last week it was parachuting, and now its rock climbing, he just doesn't seem to get the hint."

"Sounds way too stalkerish for my liking," Taylor said into the open air.

"If he starts turning up in the same places as me, then I'm arresting his ass," Stella told us putting all our minds at rest. "I'm not going through another Frankie."

She shivered at the thought. I decided to change the subject.

"And I hear that Cory's actually now dating Mr Messer!" Cory brushed a strand of her auburn hair away from her face, before sticking her tongue out at me.

"We decided that maybe it was time to actually take it up a notch and see what happens. He's really sweet, the other day he took me to Coney Island." I couldn't help but feel a build up of happiness in my chest at the delight that was apparent on her face. My gaze shifted to Stella who seemed districted by something behind me.

I followed the direction in which she was looking to see Mac to my surprise holding out a chair for a tall and curvy blond. I almost gasped in horror until I realized that the stunning young woman was actually Gus. I turned back to face Stella who was now frowning, a glimpse of pain slipping across her face.

"It's not what you think," I told her reaching across the table and touching her hand. She withdrew her hand quickly.

"It's none of my business anyway." For a moment I was torn between wanting to share the truth and the promise I'd made to Mac.

"Isn't she a little young for Mac? She can't be that much over my age," Taylor remarked out loud. I closed my eyes for a brief second, making a mental note to get Mac to address the situation with Stella, who from the fact she had fallen into sullen silence, didn't know the fact that Gus was Mac's niece.

There was silence between us all as no one quite knew what to say.

"I hear your mom's coming down in the next few weeks," Stella said.

The tone of her voice was defensive. I decided to run with this line of conversation.

"Yeah, she's flying out the week after next to see how I'm doing. She's gonna be staying for a few weeks to help me settle in and teach me a few tricks with the baby." I answered, summoning the waiter or dessert.

"You looking forward to it?" Cory asked after giving out her order.

"Yes and no, I haven't seen my mom since the wedding so I'm a little unsure about how she feels about my life, but she seems to adore Don and well, I know I'm going to need the help. I didn't even know half the stuff we had to buy for the baby until Cory gave me a helpful hand." I told the rest of the table.

"I wouldn't either. How do you?" Taylor confessed, looking at Cory pointedly.

"I have godchildren," Cory explained. I could Stella's mind was straying from the fact she was now silent again.

"How about we get dessert to go and I show you guys the new nursery huh?" I blurted out suddenly. There was a smattering of agreement before we summoned the waiter a second time.

_**GOTHAM'S HEROES!!!!!!**_

_Axeilla: lol I can never feel sorry for Devon, I hope the Taylor bit in this chapter was alright, I wasn't sure how to approach the subject of Matt. Lol Well you know what sort of person Dresden is. Lol Thanks for reviewing!_

_Soccer-bitch: lol well watch out for the sequel Divine Intervention, out soon, maybe around Dec I'm not sure. This will be ending at chapter 152!_

_Sparkycsi: lol I'm catching up on DV as soon as poss, I'm doing NanoWrimo at the min so it's a bit of a bitch, one of my friends has been staying over the last few days so I haven't been so productive._

_Demolished-soul: lol I think we all managed to miss that chapter, it's one of my faves so I should have noticed. Lol Carmen has ferocious instincts._


	150. Chapter 150: A Matter of Debate

Chapter One Hundred and Fifty

_Why don't you give me some love?_

_I'll take a shit load of drugs_

_I'm so tired of never fixing the pain_

_James Blunt – Give Me Some Love_

"We need to talk," I stated, hands on my hips; my eyes were on Mac who merely stared at me from across his desk.

I had practically whirlwinded into his office and slammed the door shut behind me. I wasn't surprised when he didn't flinch. There was nothing that could shock Mac. Saying that, I was eight months pregnant and not very formidable.

"Why don't you sit down?" Mac said wearily, pointing at the chair in front of me. I narrowed my eyes at him, before deciding that my ankles were hurting far too much to actually maintain the stance I was in. I dropped into the seat, my eyes still fixed on him. Mac studied my face looking moderately confused.

"So we need to talk?" I took a deep breath as he spoke before beginning.

"It's about Gus…"

"What about Gus?" Mac started sharply. I frowned, fully acknowledging the challenge at hand.

"You need to talk to Stella about it," I told him calmly.

"Gus is my business; Stella doesn't need to know anything about that." I tilted my head at him.

"Stella thinks you and Gus are dating," I said, shaking my head. Mac looked disturbed by this. I could see things slipping into place in his head.

"Why would she think that?" he asked folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.

"We were at Tsang's last night." To Mac's credit he gave no facial reaction to this.

"Stella saw you both there last night and well it looked cosy," I told him straight out.

"She's my niece."

"Stella doesn't know that and it didn't look like that to her. I think she's hurt because she thinks that you didn't tell her you were seeing someone."

"She didn't tell me when she was seeing Frankie," he growled.

"Are you playing tit for tat? Come on Mac! You're an adult. You care about Stella and I know you do. Maybe you should just casually mention that you were out with your niece the other night," I hinted not so subtly.

"Gus likes to keep her private life private; Gus doesn't want people to think she's not here through her own merit."

"No one else has to know that you're related, but right now it's very likely that rumours are beginning to circulate about the two of you. People notice that your close Mac and it only promotes the wrong kind of rumours." I argued.

"There's always going to be rumours Carmen, but that does not mean I have to give away details about my personal relationships just to set them straight." I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him nostrils flaring.

"I'm not asking you to tell all of them. I'm asking you to tell Stella!" I exclaimed. I took a deep breath to calm myself, knowing that getting irate at Mac was not going to solve anything.

I stood up, and waddled towards the office door before pausing.

"All I'm saying is that Stella deserves to know, she's supposed to be your closest friend. Don't shut her out," I said softly before closing the door gently behind me.

**GOTHAM'S HEROES!!!!**

_Charmedgray: Lindsey took off to Chicago and left Carmen in the lurch with her wedding. (That is in there somewhere along with the major conflict with Cory and Linds) Don Jnr, Jnr, is just the way that Carmen says it. They didn't know the girl but it was the fact she looked like Carmen and her ex husband was out and at large. Hope that answered you questions ___

_Maddy Bellows: There will be a sequel and Gus is in it a little it more, we see more of her on Flack's side now. I've written the first chapter for the sequel so yay! Lol it was in response to the people wanting to hear a few names for the baby. It was a fun chapter to write, lol the only prob was trying to get everyone' different personalities across. I also saw it as a chance to play about with Gus a little bit more and what thoughts would be surrounding her._

_Soccer-bitch: lol there's an ending but there's also a new beginning too. Hope your still safe over there! I really enjoyed writing this story, but it was getting long and I thought it was a time for Carmen and Flack to move onto a different stage of their life now._

_SparkyCSI: Thanks for getting it back so quickly. I may try and work on CH2 tonight but I'm not sure yet. I'm gonna have a shower in a min to relax, but I'm off tomorrow so I can play a little catch up with the mail in my inbox! Lol muses can be evil sometimes!_

_Demolished-soul: Hey, she does pop it out in a few chapters. I'm not really a fan of the name Ryan, I don't really have baby names pout aside for kids, which was why it was so hard choosing what to call the baby. Lol That's the kind of relationship between Carmen and Mac, she'd do anything for him even keep a secret like that._


	151. Chapter 151: Talking

Chapter One Hundred and Fifty One

_Pieces of puzzles  
And  
Wishes on eyelashes fail_

How do I show all the love  
Inside my heart

_KT Tunstall – Through The Dark_

Mac stood in the door way watching Stella as she busied herself around the lab, running result after result. He liked that about her, she was thorough to the point of almost compulsion. He watched the way she moved, the fact she stood on tip toes to reach the top shelf to get that chemical she needed. The grace of her movements captivated him, and he found himself sometimes sitting in his office watching her. She had mentioned before that she was a dancer and it was evident in her shape and figure. He couldn't tear his eyes away as she brushed a loose curl from her eyes as she lent over the microscope.

Despite what he had said to Carmen he did feel a strong connection to Stella, she was his equal, his confident. Mac continued to peer through the glass. He'd been saddened and overcome with jealousy when he realized that Stella had been seeing Frankie and had not told him. It was her life to do as she pleased. But he couldn't help but feel betrayed by her actions. It had been three years since the day she'd ended up killing him in self defence but Mac could never get he images of her lying there, not knowing whether she was alive or dead out of his head.

He'd been so relieved when she'd accepted Carmen's help, he'd expected her to close up, to be a victim, but Stella had proved herself again and again that she was a survivor. Maybe that's why he loved her?

He knew he felt strongly, he'd always suspected that his feelings were a little more than being just friends, a little bit deeper. But when she had been shot in the back, all the pain of losing Claire had risen up and was sitting in his chest whilst he watched himself react, begging Stella to live. He couldn't live without her. He knew that. She was the only thing that kept him human. Through everything they **saw,** he became robotic and desensitised like a robot, but then she would be there, with a smile to make a little joke or to simply touch his arm.

Her warmth spread through him like fire, and she always forced him to remember who he was and not to lose sight of his humanity.

Stella's eyes rose to his, meeting his gaze and snapping him out of his thoughts. A smile crossed her face, it was tired and weary. He knew that she was being guarded. Seeing Gus had shocked her, he could see it in her eyes, that she felt betrayed just like he had.

"Hi," Stella said quietly, straightening up and tapping a pen against her arm as she turned her full attention to him.

"Stella…can we… can we talk?" Mac asked awkwardly, he suddenly felt unsure. Stella was trying to mask the alarm on her face at his words but was beginning to find that she couldn't. She let out a sigh of resignation.

"Of course," she said softly, as he stepped into the lab closing the door behind him. It was late now and most of the other occupants of the labs were at home or on call. Mac leaned against a counter as Stella faced him, her expression impassive.

Mac wasn't sure how to begin, his eye studied Stella's face as his mouth opened and poured out everything. He started with Hurricane Katrina, and the aftermath on Gus's home, and how he's invited, but really forced her to come to New York so he could keep an eye on her. He explained about Gus's immense sense of pride and her determination to do everything on her own. He told her how Carmen knew and how he'd sworn her to secrecy and how badly he'd wanted to tell her, Stella, the truth about the fact he had a niece.

Stella quietly watched him and listened as he spoke, slotting things together like a tiny jigsaw. A cloud of relief descended on her. Eventually Mac stopped talking, his gaze on Stella watching.

"I thought you were dating her," Stella murmured. Mac crossed his arms over his chest.

"She's over half my age," he remarked with a curt smile.

"She's pretty though. I take it she's from Clare's side of the family?" Stella inquired,

"Her sister." Stella nodded her response.

"I'm just glad that you feel you can tell me things like this," Stella told him honestly, one hand on her hip.

"I am too…" he hesitated.

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked casually. Stella's face turned thoughtful as frowned.

"A long, long time ago." She smiled as she shook her head.

"Let me buy you dinner and I can tell you more about my niece," he said taking her coat off the hook next to the door and holding it out to her.

**GOTHAM'S HEROES READ IT!**

_Soccer-bitch: lol you really warmed my heart, thank you so much. I'm really glad that you and your friend are meeting up today. Have fun!_

_Sparkycsi: I have sent you two chaps already of the sequel I'm working on another one, I think I'm gonna put operation Cory into play soon, or at least set the motions running. Lol how's DV going?_

_Demolished-soul: I'd tell but I'm annoying like that! Anyway yep the baby is here soon. I have been working on the sequel so that will be up pretty soon after SD finishes._

_Charmedgrays: There's an episode in series 4 with Devon in so that's who she is. She was trying to sleep with Flack in my story._

_Maddy Bellows: Seriously thanks for everything today! Lol I find the idea of Mac and Gus equally as mortifying. Lol all of them are hard headed. Lol I didn't initially think that Gus and Mac's relationship would end up looking suspect but I started thinking about it and thought well Mac is a private person, why wouldn't people think he has a secret?_


	152. Chapter 152: Birth Control

Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Two

_If the going got worse and the worse got rough  
The days became endless and harder than tough  
I'd be good enough_

_Darren Hayes – Good Enough_

Flack raised his eyes to meet mine as I set the phone down carefully on the side table, my hand rubbing my stomach gently. The paper was lying open on his knee as he flicked through it distracted.

"That was my mom; she's on her way here from the hotel," I forewarned him. Flack's face curved into a brief smile as I pulled a face.

"Hey, she's here to help," he reminded me. I rolled my eyes.

"Yea help…" I muttered, moving towards the kitchen and flicking the kettle on and taking out three mugs, preparing for when mom landed.

"I know the woman's going to drive me mad up until the baby's born," I whined to myself.

An impatient knocking broke through my ramblings. I bit back the groan that was rising in my throat as Don sprung off the couch and towards the door before I even had a chance to blink. He pulled open the door.

"Carla, how are you doing?" he asked with a wide smile. I could see Mom hugging him from my position on the other side of the doorway. I also noted that Don stiffened; as he drew back the smile faded from his face and was replaced with a hostile frown. I contemplated this for a moment until he stepped back, allowing my mother access to the room.

"She's just in the kitchen," Flack said, I could tell from his tone he wasn't happy. I raised my head as my mother stepped into the room. She hadn't changed a bit since I last saw her. Her dark brown hair sported fleck's of grey, my eyes were staring back at me as she wrapped her arms around my gently, drawing me into a maternal hug. The familiar smell from my childhood brought back memories that had remained buried for years. I felt the comfort and reassurance that I had once felt as a child. As she pulled away I felt a smile creeping across my lips.

"You look wonderful Carmen, doesn't she Jethro?" My head snapped up as I heard Flack close the door. He gave me an apologetic and weary look as my gaze flew from him to my father who was standing tall as ever in my living room. My breath caught in my throat and my jaw clenched. His bushy Santa-like beard was etched with more grey than black; he still had a full head of hair despite his age. His doe brown eyes fastened on mine. He was standing in exactly the same position he'd been standing in when I'd left.

The silence that covered the room was awful; I couldn't open my mouth to speak. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I pretty much thought my father was out of my life when I told him I was moving in with Don. He hadn't shown up at my wedding, he hadn't played any part in my life since I'd moved to New York. I wondered what he was doing here, but that mild curiosity was shrouded by a dark and brewing anger and hurt, a lot o it.

"Carla, I think we should slip out and get some food," Don's voice broke in. I crossed my arms over my chest as my mother nodded, following him out the door. She shut it softly behind her leaving just me and Papi in the room. The look on his face was cold and defiant. I was guessing mine was the same.

I was the first to speak.

"What are you doing here?" I could barely get the words out. Papi's eyes met mine as he grinded his teeth.

"Your mother told me you were pregnant." His gruff voice was the same as it had always been. From the tone I knew nothing had changed.

"So you came to tell me what a mistake it was, how dangerous it is?!" The words sprang out of my mouth, harsh and cold sounding. Papi opened his mouth to speak but I broke in again.

"If it helps, it was more dangerous me getting pregnant than you'll ever know. So save the spiel, I am not going to listen to that shit." I ran my hand through my hair, shaking my head. Agitation was rife inside me and I was ignoring the small shooting pains that were jabbing me. I was losing my temper and not in a small way.

"This is my life! You can't just decide to cut me off because I'm not doing what you want me to do. I've been through so much these past four years, and you weren't there. I had to go through being told I couldn't have children and then having a miscarriage on my own Papi." Tears were pinpricking my eyes. I knew I was shouting but I couldn't stop. I couldn't bring myself to look at my father's face. I couldn't stand the disappointment that I knew would be there.

"Jesus! You weren't even here when I nearly died in surgery nine months ago. Do you not understand?! I nearly died. I stopped breathing four times. The doctors said it was a miracle I even lived. I mean would you even have come to my funeral?" I blurted out, with tears were running down my cheeks. I was taking deep breaths to try and calm myself.

"I never wanted this for you Carmen; I thought you could do so much more than being a cop. Look at it, look at all the pain it's brought you," Papi implored. I stared at him horrified.

"Can't you focus on all the good it's brought me? I have a family here; I help people for a living. I fell in love with a man who's a hero, Papi, and I'm pregnant with his child! I think that's something you should be proud of. I make a difference in people's lives, I save people."

"And who's there to save you? Where was your hero when you were blown up in that bomb blast or when Mathew stabbed you? Where the hell was he then?!" Papi was shouting now his face red and contorted.

"He was there, he was right there, fighting to get loose so he could help me! I can not tell you how many times that Don has saved my life He's been there for me through everything, and I could never ask more from him. So what he's a cop, it doesn't matter because I love him. It shouldn't matter to you. You should be proud to have a son-in-law that would give his life away in the drop of a hat for me." Another pain in my side made me pause for breath.

Papi looked stunned at my words. I put a hand to my stomach almost gasping out loud.

"I think it's best you leave," I snapped at Papi, as he took a step forward. Pain was coming and going quickly now.

"Carmen?" Papi's voice was soft now. I felt a gush from between my legs as I looked down.

"Shit," I muttered as another wave of pain rocked me. I saw the realization on Papi's face as I cursed.

"Ok, stay calm. You're going into labour." I shook my head. As Papi got his phone out and began to dial.

"It's too early. I can't be…" Another crippling pain and Papi was helping me settle to carpeted floor.

"I've called an ambulance and they're on the way, I just need you to stay calm." He said reassuringly, patting my arm. I took a deep breath.

"Call Hawkes." I said abruptly. Papi shook his head in confusion.

"Whose Hawkes?"

"He's a doctor…don't argue…get my phone and call him, he can get here before…" I let out a choked whine, as the pain erupted lower in my body. Papi stood up and moved quickly towards my handbag lying on the side.

"Papi?" He turned his eyes worried, studying me.

"Call Don."

------------------------------

Flack

He was sitting patiently on the chairs outside the surgery room, his hands clasped together. Don was praying. He needed this to go right. Hands pressed to his forehead he was hoping God would grant this wish. They'd been through so much. Next to him, Carmen's father sat in shock staring stonily at the doors to the operating room. Hawkes had taken Carmen's mother to the canteen to get a mug of coffee. For that Flack was grateful. Carla had practically been in hysterics when Carmen was wheeled into the O.R for her C-section. It had taken all his patience to explain clearly to her why her daughter was not having a natural birth.

"I thought she was going to give birth right there in your apartment." Jethro said finally. Flack twisted his head towards the other man surprised. He hadn't expected Carmen's father to say anything at all to him.

"I'm just glad Hawkes got there when he did, there was no way that baby was going to come out on its own," Flack told Jethro, shuddering. Jethro nodded before blinking again in the direction of the door.

"You think she'll be ok?" Jethro asked so quietly Flack thought that he almost hadn't heard it. Flack raised his head and looked Jethro straight in the eyes.

"If there's one thing I know about your daughter, she's a fighter," Flack spoke honestly. Jethro bowed his head before speaking again.

"We were fighting before she went into labour. She was right though, I should have been there. I thought about it a lot, but I just couldn't take that step."

"Why?" Flack figured he had nothing to lose to he asked the question. He watched as the older man spoke softly.

"When Elliot died I felt empty, it was a like a piece of my heart had stopped beating. And frozen over the rest. I wanted… I wanted the best for my other kids, Carmen should have a nice loving family in a safe life. I wanted that for her, but she was always the rebellious one and she chose New York and she chose you." Jethro met Flack's piercing blue eyes, and he knew the younger man was struggling to understand.

"To me New York was dangerous, the only decent person I ever met from here was that Messer kid, and even he has a dodgy background." He paused for a second.

"Anyway I always thought she'd get it together, quit the job, and raise a family, maybe even move back to Portland. She thinks I don't know about all the other stuff. I followed her career through the papers. Her records impressive, but I kept seeing the danger she was getting in. I couldn't see past that. I'll admit part of me blamed you," Jethro admitted, he was starring at his hands now.

"I thought it was you that was keeping her in New York and that it was you that was keeping her as a cop, but she made me realize that this sort of thing is in her blood. She can't do anything else because helping people this way is the only thing she's ever wanted to be. Underneath all this bitterness, I realized that I was proud of her. She came here all alone, she made friends and a life here and now she's starting a family and she's done all this by herself. No help from me and her mother at all." Jethro shook his head in wonderment.

"I came here to tell her I was proud of her. But somehow we ended up fighting and then…well you know the rest of it. I just… I wanna say I'm proud of her. I love her, and I'm ashamed that it wasn't me walking her down the aisle," Jethro confessed. Flack let a dry smile cross his lips.

"It was probably a good thing the first time around, the roof exploding and all," Flack pointed out. Jethro turned his head to study the other man.

"How do you carry all that on your shoulders?" he asked bluntly. Flack shrugged before staring at the doors in front of them.

"You just take it day by day and thank God you're alive at the end of it. You can't keep worrying about the next day and the day after that because you have no idea what's ahead. The point is, despite everything, I'm still here with Carmen. I love your daughter and I always will. She was the only person I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. Sometimes I think of everything we've been through…" Don paused frowning at the recollection of memories before twisting to face Jethro who was watching him in almost awe.

"Sometimes I look back and wonder how the hell we survived all of those things. Then I remember the important part of those memories is that we did. All that matters is that we're here right now," Flack finished. Jethro's gaze softened before he patted Flack's knee like a son.

"She's lucky to have you, son," Jethro uttered as the doors in front of them swung open.

Doctor Preston was taking off his surgical mask as the other two men rose to their feet.

"Doc?" Flack asked a tiny quiver in his voice.

"Congratulations, you are the father of a healthy baby boy." Flack couldn't keep the grin off his face.

"How's my daughter, doctor?" Jethro asked as Doctor Preston beamed at them both.

"She's doing fine, she's still groggy and very tired from the C-section but otherwise she's fine. Would you like to see them both?" Preston offered.

Both Flack and Jethro nodded enthusiastically before following the Doctor into the quiet corridor beyond the double doors.

-------------------------------

Carmen

I was feeling groggy and insanely happy from the drugs they had slipped me for the surgery when I caught sight of Flack and Papi taking quick steps toward me. The baby, our baby was nestled in my arms a blue blanket wrapped around him as he gurgled. I couldn't believe how tiny he was. Upon his head he was already spouting a patch of thick dark hair.

"It looks like he takes after his daddy," I teased as Flack stared at the tiny bundle in wonder. He leaned, his lips brushing my forehead. As he pulled away I caught the expression on his face, it was one of pure joy. I held the baby out to him and he took the little bundle from my arms gently. The baby's hands rose up clasping at his finger gently.

"Hey, I think he recognizes me." I grinned before leaning back on my pillow, as my father inched closer. To my surprise Papi kissed my cheek.

"I am so proud of you baby," he uttered, pulling away and looking into my eyes. I felt tears pinpricking my eyes as he pulled away. I could see it in his face he meant it. I sniffed a little, before pulling myself together.

"Do you want to hold him?" I asked quietly. It was the first smile I'd seen on Papi's face in five years and it touched me deeply. He took the baby from Flack's arms carefully and jiggled the baby as softly as he could.

"Do you have a name picked out for this little lad?" Flack clasped my hand, and kissed it softly before Papi raised his head and looked pointedly at the both of us.

Flack turned his head to me.

"We were thinking Thomas Benjamin Flack if it was boy." I said a little uncertain on how Papi would take the last name. Papi was still beaming when he looked back down at his tiny grandson.

"I think that's perfect."

**END**

_**Charmedgray: Devon won't feature in this story anymore. Cindy is a random girl who works in the precinct and tried it on with Flack. Lol I decided I am not going with a two foot radius of the name Aiden. I think it's two cliché. Jennifer I think is a nice name for a girl! Thank you. I am honoured you love this story! Look out for the sequel.**_

_**Soccer-bitch: How was the other day the day from hell? Thanks for the enjoying the story. The sequel is out soon so look out for it.**_

_**Sparkycsi: lol sorry I sent you so many chaps. I'm gonna put the sequel up at some point soon. I will be working on chapter five soon, maybe tonight or in the next few days.**_

_**Bluehavan4220: lol This one is a little longer. You'll get to enjoy the sequel soon hopefully. I'm glad you like this chapter; I have no idea where it came from. It literally just jumped straight into my head.**_

_**Maddy Bellows: lol not far from the end. Thanks for all your help. I'm glad you like what I wrote. I love this story lol. It's my baby!**_

_**Demolished-soul: lol this chapter was the end of SD. But watch out for the sequel. The chapter basically wrote itself.**_


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